Day 162: The Paranormal Series part 23 - Demons vs. Angels part 10

This blog is a continuation from:

Day 149: The Paranormal Series Part 13 – Demons vs. Angels part 1

Day 152: The Paranormal Series Part 14 – Demons vs. Angels part 2

Day 153: The Paranormal Series part 16 - Demons vs. Angels part 3

Day 156: The Paranormal Series part 17 - Demons vs. Angels part 4

Day 157: The Paranormal Series part 18 - Demons vs. Angels part 5

Day 158: The Paranormal Series part 19 - Demons vs. Angels part 6

Day 159: The Paranormal Series part 20 - Demons vs. Angels part 7

Day 160: The Paranormal Series part 21 - Demons vs. Angels part 8

Day 161: The Paranormal Series part 22 - Demons vs. Angels part 9

"So both J and myself would confide in each other when we had arguments with family and from there our magic started developing from 'white magic' which as I explained above as the 'innocent' type of spell casting, to 'grey magic' where we would cast spells to 'bounce' what people did, back to them. LOL. Anyways so basically this meant that if somebody was mean to us or would try and hurt us etc, we would cast a spell so that whatever they did to us would go back to them 3 TIMES!! As I said, looking back now I can giggle about these things, because seriously it shows me, how religion shows firstly how effective the human imagination is in created our own self interest, but to also be able to live out and express all the nasty, thoughts and emotions that we have towards each other and ourselves, while supressing our fears of each other, but under the guise of 'spirituality, or 'religion'. Makes it all sound so plausible and innocent when you are getting away with all kinds of shit in your mind towards yourself and others…"

Artwork: https://www.facebook.com/marlen.delrazo

In the past I received many emails and comments on the videos I did about my Wiccan and Demon Possession experiences - where people misunderstood many of the things I explained. So perhaps I will address those questions here, because I see how sometimes speaking directly about my past and what I have come to realize about it - from a 'direct' translation' perspective creates confusion in some people - where for example due to again the 'filtering system' of the mind, where a person will directly equate what one says to their own point of reference - people will misinterpret what I am saying based on their point of reference. So now after writing about my experiences both in the book that I did (part 1) and doing the videos - I will explore new dimensions of those experiences in this blog - using the opportunity to slow down more and to consider the questions people have had about why I say what I say.

Artwork: https://www.facebook.com/marlen.delrazo

For example people responded to my video series where I explained that I was a wican AND used the Ouija Board to communicate with my guides and spirits, by saying that this could not be 'true wiccanism' if I used a Ouija Board. So I will use this opportunity to refer us back to the 'filtering system' that I wrote about back in a previous blog - where to make an assessment and comparison between one person's beliefs and practices to ones own practices -only happens if one has set in stone how you believe reality works and that your way of doing it is the correct way. This will be where we again just like our parents and grandparents, who insisted that their ways and religions and governments are 'the law' - are creating belief systems within ourselves of 'how things work' - whereby we filter what others do through our belief systems and will either respond 'yes that is acceptance or correct' or 'no you are wrong!'.

What I have realized over the years is that none of us really understands how reality works - is that not so? I mean for a moment consider how each one of us came to accept the religions that we did. For example for most, religion is either something that was passed down or 'forced' down by your parents and family or your religion became something you found on your own terms, by comparing what 'feels right' to you about yourself and life, and thus as the example that I gave about Wiccanism, it is something that 'resonated' with me. What this means is that ones pre-programmed personality designs are resonating with those aspects within the religion which would be amplified or supressed by the religion of choice. Thus indicating that firstly religion is not really a choice, because it is something that is mostly 'passed down', and if one note back to the creation of religion, you will see how and why at the time religion as control systems were implemented. Secondly if one is 'choosing' a religion according to what 'resonated with you' this as I found merely indicated to me what was suited to my personality. And within this what I realized about myself through the religion that I chose was invaluable.

Therefore, one is able to learn a lot about where one is not fully taking responsibility for oneself, by the religion that we 'choose'. For example in religion what I found is that it gave me something outside of myself to live for - instead of living for myself and sorting out my own mind and my own life. Religion gave me strength in the belief that deities and energies and cosmic forces were 'looking out for me' and 'changing my life' instead of me being my own strength, my own guide and changing myself so that I could life a productive life. Religion gave me morality rules and concepts to follow - which were mostly based on make believe, but again this gives the mind something to focus on, where I 'felt good' about the life I was living and about my 'standing' - instead of realizing that I was attaching 'who I am' and 'what I do' and 'how I live' to a feeling, instead of just living here in this physical body, in this physical reality. Another example is that religion gave me a scape goat - if I did something wrong I could explain it away to some dark energy or a plan that coincided with some god or a cosmic journey, while on the other side of the coin, asking forgiveness from some god or a cosmic force - without realising that in 'asking for forgiveness'; to another or even some invisible made up being, I was abdicating self responsibility, and therefore not changing my behaviour and being the responsible factor that is actually doing 'the living'.

So with all religion one is able to see how and why one walks this religion and wears it like a cloak. What does it do for you? Why do we create this 'cloak' which protects us, hides us, changes us and gives us rules to live by? Why do we externalise ourselves into Religion instead of us being the directive principle? Is it because without religions man would fall apart? Does religion first show us the diversity of the human mind fucks, where as I mentioned previously religion allows the human our self interest, where we create self interest of 'WHAT I WANT' and our religion allows us to explore and justify 'WHAT I WANT' because no one can argue with me if I say that my god wants this or god gave it to me, or 'but the bible tells us so.' I mean golly gosh who is going to argue with a god? So this is our way of justifying how we want to live life and then we throw religion in the face of any person who argues against us. You cant pick a fight with god now can you? (not saying I believe god exists, merely drawing a parallel between the idea of a god exiting in ones mind and what this means in totality for human behaviour). For me it was also a matter of 'feeling loved' through 'belonging' and through the words that came through either in books or on the ouija board.' All of the above where some of my reasons for the religion/belief systems I chose...

Day 154: Living by the principle of what is best for all part 5

Previous Blogs in this series:

Day 147: Living by the principle of what is best for all part 1

Day 148: Living by the principle of what is best for all part 2

Day 150: Living by the principle of what is best for all part 3

Day 151: Living by the principle of what is best for all part 4

"If I truly felt anything towards abuse, towards the problems we faced – I had to start with me and stop yelling to the skies, or blaming the government, or blaming the obvious baddies etc. I mean if one uses a bit of common sense you will realize that even if we ended up like in those end of the word Apocalypse movies, where we get shipped to another planet because we have destroyed this one. What would change? Nothing – due to our inherent nature, we as who we have become would simply start all over again and destroy – in time the new planet; basic common sense. If we don't change, nothing will change. So therefore this principle of ‘doing what is best for all’ became my full understanding as the solution. If we want to stop the madness and have ‘what is best’ – how can we expect to still live the secret aspects of our minds as our fears and justifications for our self interest? How can we respect jesus as an example of a man who did and encourages living what is best – but we continue not living what is best?  Why must somebody else like a guru or deity or religious figure or politicians do what is best for us, but we don't want to live that within ourselves as a principle?"

So with regards to realizing the Principle of doing what is best for all, I realizes firstly as mentioned in my previous blog, that this would directly imply that I would have to become the change that I expected from the world - because if I did not change my beingness, the starting point of who I was as the human living on this planet directly creating and participating and allowing abuse in all forms of its creation from minuscule to large - then obviously we don’t stand a chance. At first this was a bit of a shock, a revelation that at first allowed me to feel relief as I realised that I could finally stop waiting for some god or deity or 'powerful special person' to save me, but then a while later as I looked at the real steps that I will have to take to bring that about, it left me experiencing a slight bit of anxiety in my solar plexus, as it dawned on me that self change actually means changing who I am, how and what I think and what I allow to exist within me.

Therefore even thought at Desteni you will notice we use many big words or knowledge concepts such as 'self honesty, self forgiveness, self responsibility and self realization. But if you take a closer look at the people who apply these tools and principles - what we are directly saying by speaking these words is that for each it becomes a point of 'living' the words, not just merely speaking them. Obviously this in itself as I realized is the difficult part because and this ties in with the definition of the statement: Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all - what this means is to actually investigate, take responsibility for and change how I have conditioned myself into how I think and speak and express myself.

Artwork: https://www.facebook.com/marlen.delrazo

As an example of : Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all; What does this practically mean? This means as stated above that I would like to live in a world where we stop deceiving and abusing and living only for self interest as the addiction to the Mind. This means that my principle becomes doing and living that which in all ways will always support us as humanity to be better people, functioning in all ways to create a society of people that are actually if one were to say 'the image and likeness of god' - and here I am not saying I belief in a god - here I am referring to what one would understand to be the best human possible. What would this imply - well for me this means stopping all actions, words and thoughts that are not in my best interest, because if it is not what is best for me, then it is obviously not what is best for others - and therefore one will say that to direct one in ones words, thoughts and deeds, is to in every moment asses 'me', meaning to purify my thoughts, words and deeds.

Next blog: walking an example of Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

Day 143: From Criminal to Principled Living.

I commit myself to Live by the following principles and within my writings I will take each basic principle as placed below and write about how I have experienced my awareness/understanding of the principle, how I apply myself within the principle and how I will change that which I am not yet living fully.

In the bogs to come I will take each point and write about it:

1. Realising and living my utmost potential

Day 144: Realising and Living my utmost potential part 1

Day 145: Realising and Living my utmost potential part 2

2. Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

Day 147: Living by the principle of what is best for all part 1

Day 148: Living by the principle of what is best for all part 2

Day 150: Living by the principle of what is best for all part 3

Day 151: Living by the principle of what is best for all part 4

Day 154: Living by the principle of what is best for all part 5

Day 155: Living by the principle of what is best for all part 6

3. Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa

Day 175: Living by the principle of self honesty Part 1

Day 176: Living by the principle of self honesty Part 2

4. Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realising I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others

5. Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realising only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

6. Realising that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well

7. Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

8. With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as you would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

9. Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honour and stand by what is best for all and so best for me

10. Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE
11. No one can save you, save yourself – the realisation that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone

12. Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realise I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realisation that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today

13. Honouring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves

14. Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one

15. Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honour, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.

16. Realising that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come

17. I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my living actions, become a living example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realise how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth
 
18. I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this living world.

19. Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realising it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath

20. Realising that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honour, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me

21. We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realise this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without

22. The realisation that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

23. The realisation that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth

Day 122: The Paranoia Series - How Cognitive Disinformation creates Paranoia part 3

This blog is a follow up from:

Day 120: The Paranoia Series - How Cognitive Disinformation creates Paranoia part 1
Day 121: The Paranoia Series - How Cognitive Disinformation creates Paranoia part 2

So to recap on how Cognitive Disinformation functions; it is used by governments, politicians and groups to either justify a specific action towards another country, group or party by stating and publishing for example that the country/group is intending harmful actions and therefore allows the group using Cognitive Disinformation to for example declare war, arrest people, change laws etc. It is also used by groups to create Disinformation about themselves, to create such confusion within the public that they in the end don't believe anything or do not see the group in a negative light, as they either perceive all information to be ‘tainted’ thus allowing the group/organisation to continue with unlawful actions or have creates such a positive view of the group that what is really going on is not questioned. This we see every day in the media where information is used about politicians, corporations/groups to create confusion about what is really gong on – and in the background the group in question simply continues as they were. Another form of Cognitive Disinformation is simply to discredit a group or organisation one does not want to have an impact on the public- and this is for example where Internet trolls as referred to in Part 1 – are paid to create disinformation about groups who could influence/change public opinion – this could either be linked to individuals that belong to smaller groups that simply have a personal belief involved in the group – whom consider their religious views or beliefs to be at threat -all the way to serious corporate funded projects of targeting any internet persona or group that could or has influenced the corporation/organisations ability to continue exploiting the public for power and greed.


As you noted the examples of Historical events around Cognitive Disinformation were mostly centred around political power struggles. On the internet I have myself come across ‘Trolls’ who target groups linked to world awareness who for example challenge world systems like Religion and Capitalism – where the trolls are either paid or direct their actions from the starting point of the Ego to protect personal belief systems and the Dishonest Practices found behind the banner of ‘Free Speech and ‘Individuality.’ For example you might find Internet groups that target and question Capitalism – the function of an internet troll and the websites with which they associate themselves with might either be paid by certain corporations or political agendas to discredit such groups – especially if their influence on the public becomes more substantial. As mentioned previously some internet trolls target only for the protection of their life style and within the personality of the ‘Troll’ one would see that it is an individual prone to aggression, violent thoughts towards others, jealousy and the habit of ‘seeking retribution and vengeance’ on any internet person or group who threatens that individuals ‘life style and internet habits’.

For example not everybody takes on an active roll in targeting individuals or groups who for example question things like Capitalism, Pornography, the effects of religion on how humanity justifies abuse etc. People might read information of this nature and experience slight annoyance as they react to what is spoken about because the reaction is actually the mind of the being fearing what they perceive they will ‘loose’ if this group was to be successful in the removal or change of things like greed, pornography, religion etc – as the individual depends on the experience they obtain as they themselves enjoy things like ‘having more money than others, watching pornography, and alleviating fear about death through believing in God etc. So firstly the average human reacts to information that could potentially harm their own beliefs and value systems. These reactions are mostly anger, irritations, nasty thoughts, ice coldness (fear) shooting through the stomach, clenching of jaw and fists, defensive words… However as I have experiences and witnessed myself it is the Internet Troll – who within their own personality fantasy design of ‘the warrior’, the vengeful one’ - will seek out and attempt to ‘destroy’ individuals or groups who contradict their beliefs about Life. It is the Ego-driven Internet Trolls who join websites where the specific purpose of the website is a) to talk about and feed each others illusions and ideas about the person/group in question b) to be a source of disinformation – where everybody can contribute truth and lies and mix this and mould this into what the group ultimately wants to experience which is the outcome of anger and the believe that they must ‘act’. c) to then launch projects against the individual or group in question – where the ‘togetherness’ of the forum members creates an illusion that their intention of internet bullying and defamation is NOT against the law and is in fact ok –because there is a group of people believing they are all being done in and therefore it is their right under the protection of Freedom of Speech to target and harm the group/person in mention – from here it allows the group to launch projects intended to harm the group/individual and from this the members draw strength and a point of ‘group-think’ that takes over – feeding the frenzy from lies and half-truths into ‘absolute knowing’.

Next: more on Consciousness and Cognitive Disinformation…

More on Internet Trolls:

Internet troll who threatened to kill 200 schoolchildren is jailed

Internet trolls: What to do about the scourge of the Web?

Pay for Comments – Confessions of a Paid Disinformation Internet Shill

Online trolls post abuse out of boredom, research finds.

Day 329: When Anonymous Acted like Hitler on Quora

Day 113: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Capitalism Part 1: Death in the work place.

In the following series I will be exploring some common sense insights and considerations into the Psychology behind the crimes against Life, that occur within and due to the Capitalistic System -which has become the one system - we all have to live by, cannot avoid - but suffer the most within - through our lives from the moment of birth until we die. In the blogs I will explore various avenues/dimensions of ur Capitalistic System, to show and share the direct situations of Abuse that could be prevented if we as Humanity came together to change such a system - however - no matter how much Abuse and suffering happens every day - humanity will not and does not consider changing the Capitalistic System. Instead as I have noticed most support the system and wil even defend it vigorously as if we have been brainwashed into believing that no matter how bad it gets - we do not and will not question Capitalism - as if the Earth itself was created with Capitalism in place - and not simply a man made creation, created with so many flaws and inconsiderations, which are now allowed to run automatically on our behalf with the majority of beings on this planet, crying out in pain and suffering each second of each day - indicating that Capitalism itself has been the biggest Holocaust - the biggest form of Mass Murder known in the History of Mankind - and yet strangely enough - nobody cares?

Why is this allowed to happen, how did we get to a point where we decided that Hitlers Holocaust is absolutely unacceptable and to even speak of someone like Hitler without hate and content, will result in internet attacks and questions to your Humanity - and yet that which kills and maims and tortures the most individuals to date - Capitalism - is not only left to proceed with its destruction on Life - but is never questioned by the same Humans who claim to not agree with Murder, Mass Murder, Rape, Child Abuse, Suffering, Holocausts, Victimisation, Starvation, Animal Abuse etc... but if it is done in the name of a system that we could change if we wanted to - but seem to not want to change - then it remains 'ok'. How did we do the maths?

So in the blogs I will share crimes against life by Capitalism plus the Psychology (the psyche of the Human) behind why we say we do not support Harm - but continue to support Harm. The question is, why do we keep turning a blind eye?



I start this series with a recent event in the news:

Daughter’s agony as she discovers her mother is among 230 dead in Primark factory disaster while rescuers fight to save survivors screaming in the rubble

"Bangladeshi rescue workers are continuing their increasingly desperate for survivors in a collapsed clothes factory building where workers made cheap clothes for Primark.
Hundreds were killed when the eight-storey Rana Plaza in Savar on the outskirts of Dhakar collapsed yesterday, the day after cracks were seen in its walls. The death toll continues to rise and currently stands at more than 230. Forty people have been pulled alive from the rubble today.
There were agonising scenes of grief as relatives lined up to identify corpses laid outside a local school building. One woman screamed in anguish as she reached out to her mother, pulled dead from the heartbreaking scene of destruction."
-40 people pulled alive from the rubble today after building collapse which killed more than 230 people
-Police said factory owners appeared to have ignored a warning after crack was detected on Tuesday
-Workers tell how they were threatened with the sack if they refused to go work after seeing the cracks
- Charges of criminal negligence have been filed against the building's owner."

We tend to look at these pictures and feel a pang of fear, anxiety and it sickens us for a moment - the thought moves through our mind 'oh shame those poor people' and then we might consider our lives, our safety in the work place and the safety of our family and close friends when they leave for work in the mornings - And that is pretty much it. Have you noticed as I have, that no matter how many gut-wrenching pictures people show of horrible tragedies that happen each day, each second to people, animals and the planet - nothing happens, nothing stirs within the human other than shallow emotional reactions and further thoughts of fear around 'hoping this does not happen to me or my family. Other than that - have you noticed that other than developing all sorts of Fear thoughts and reactions within the Mind - and holding onto religion and Hope as a means of alleviating the Fear in our minds in relation to what 'could happen to us', to 'our families' when we leave our homes for the day - NOTHING -no action, no words, no changing of anything - why? Why have we detached ourselves from this reality and yet we have such an extensive Fear of this reality - as these events unfold each day? Firstly, we acknowledge that these events are very real and very painful and could cause the end of ones life. This drives us, as I mentioned previously to heightened fears about our world, ourselves, our children and others - as we live in constant worry and Fear about what 'others' could do to us. However - we do not stop to question why these things happened, and then when faced with the simplicity actually of why these things happened, most humans - as I have noted for myself turn tail and run in the opposite direction. Most will then deny that the underlying cause is in fact the underlying cause and will make up all kinds of excuses once faced with the reality of why the underlying system that was the direct result of such a tragedy is still ACCEPTABLE and OK - though the agreement of Mankind.

So here I draw a parallel between the two points I mentioned in the first section of my blog - we just dont care enough. How did we get to this point? Do we notice that something is off with our Empathy and our Humility -that we shed tears for Movie stars, but do nothing about real Suffering? Another example of our pre-selected system of 'caring and love': If a parent is faced with a child molesterer wanting to take their child - the pattern will do whatever they can, even threaten their own safety to ensure that the child remains safe, is never harmed and the child molesterer will be hunted down and prosecuted. However when it comes to Abuse to Life on this planet for the Self Interest of Man - then we choose and protect the Self Interest of the Individual with the biggest voice over the Rights of the Individuals that are harmed - such as in the case of Corporations and the fundamentals of Capitalism that we as Society - the Consumers and the ones that support those who implement and control the System. We are the ones allowing the Abuser not only to continue - but we will smile and agree and even reason - as to why this Abuser has all the right to do what he/she does. As long as it is not me and my family being harmed - as sad as it is this as we have come to see - has only resulted in ALL humans existing in FEAR ALL the time - because we actually know and understand - that if those people could die in a collapsed building - what prevents me from dying tomorrow on my way or at my workplace? God, aliens, hope, my lucky charms, some cosmic plan? Here I will not yet go into the Illusions and Delusions we use to Cope with these constant fears and understanding of what might happen to us - you know those coping mechanisms like religion, drugs, entertainment etc. If you look inside the Mind of ALL humans equally - you will see individual Fears around the what' if's - where each human smiles and puts on a brave smile as we leave our door. We all have the exact same fears of death, fear of survival, fear of being hurt - and yet we all Lie to each other and claim we are not in Fear - that we are protected because we are lucky or god loves us or we paid our way to our place in the world and therefore Greed and Deception cannot take our lives...

Myself for example - I ask myself the question - would I want to go to work tomorrow and Die in a horrible accident - willingly - knowing that cheap clothes can be sold to the public - which allows the Wealthy Elite to become richer - ABSOLUTELY NOT! - and I challenge any human to place ourselves in the shoes of the person who dies for someone else MONEY - for GREED - so that the minority may experience ABSOLUTE ABUNDANCE and WEALTH. Would you trade shoes with every being that is harmed in every most excruciating way each day on this planet in the name of the capitalistic system - the system that not only is the only way we have chosen to Live currently but hold each of us - by choice prisoner to this system of 'Life', 'Death' and 'Struggle'.



To be continued...


More recent News:

'There was a foot of dust... it was like 9/11': Shock as 100-year-old building collapses to ground in a pile of rubble

Day 107: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 11

This blog is a continuation from:

Day 96: International Crime Research: Drug use Part 1

Day 97: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 2

Day 99: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 3

Day 100: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 4

Day 101: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 5

Day 102: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 6

Day 103: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 7

Day 104: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 8 

Day 105: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 9 

Day 106: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 10



Self-Corrective Statements:

I commit myself, to when and as I see myself going into my mind as pictures, fears and internal conversations, which are based on me not living here as my physical  - but accessing some information network/database about myself - then I stop, I delete all this information and I direct myself here, by immediately looking at how to practically move myself in social situations, without information moving, but me as a living expressive physical being, interacting here in self honesty with others.

I commit myself to delete pictures and ideas of what it means to be human, as I have come to realize that in attempting to live the pictures, words and ideas that we have currently given value to, we indeed only abuse ourselves repeatedly in the name of Ego, to support comparison, jealousy, and internal conflicts within ourselves,

therefore I commit myself to identify what my trigger points are meaning where throughout my life have I given value to an identity base on the value systems of society, whereby I would constantly have to try and fit into a specific picture and idea created by others, and by doing so,

I commit myself to, when and as I realize how I have abdicated living in my flesh to pictures and bubbles of information in my mind, to stop and realise that to free myself from these information shackles I have attached an identity to - is the key to living here fully in my body, free from internal conflicts that could or would come up as a result of me wanting to be something else, something more, something special

and that by stopping these internal emotional ideals of competing with others for specialness, I stop the pattern of self abuse within me, which clearly I see and realize did not serve me and was not the best I am able to be - as an addiction to a chemical bridge showed me for so long,

therefore

I commit myself to through the tool of writing adress the thoughts, internal conversations and pictures within my imagination, through which I fuelled this personality design between shy/withdrawn/socially-awkward to the personality on drugs which becomes effective/ communicative and stable - to understand how the separation was created by me, why I allowed it - to the self corrective point of standing as effective/ communicative and stable - to no longer be a slave to a idea that I am problematic and defective.

I commit myself to when I am in social situations where I start doubting how to communicate and express myself to realize that here I am in a situation where I could either get drawn back into my mind where I want to exist as the personality that will 'fit in' with the personalities at this social event - or I stop, breathe and realize that I am able to stand here in effective self living, to no longer participate in conversations that would require me to use drugs to enjoy - to no longer use words to please others and to no longer want to adapt my behaviour to fit into these social situations, if it is not me in self honest practical living, enjoying me here as my physical, moving myself in a directive principle that is best for all.

Therefore I commit myself that when and as I realize I will not become a personality through the use of drugs to fit into how society interact on the levels of the go and energy addictions - to stop the fears that come up around the point of 'what If I no longer belong' and to immediately stand equal and one to myself as life, to support only directive living that is best for all, and to realize that to exist in social situations that support only the mind as the ego - is not me as life, therefore if any fears come up;

I stop I breathe, I stand physically stable and I either continue to participate in effective self expression without competing and wanting to fit in by acting like others - or I make a decision to leave, and I simply look again at the point of what it is that I would like to participate in, what social situations/interactions woud support me and to then focus in the future on expressing myself where I see I would really enjoy myself, and to not fear letting go of the old personality designs I grew up believing I had to belong to.

Day 77: International Crime Research: Serial Killers, Mass Murderers and Sociopaths Part 12: Learning to Kill

My Self-Forgiveness will focus on the following Article:


The Qualitative Report Volume 9 Number 2 June 2004: Sipping Coffee with a Serial Killer: On Conducting Life History Interviews with a Criminal Genius

Author: J. C. Oleson


In each blog I will walk self-forgiveness on different parts of the Article, discussing the developmental aspects of somebody who 'learns to kill'.

This blog is a continuation from the previous blog in this series:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-75-international-crime-research.html

"As a child, X demonstrated precocious maturation. He spoke, read, and wrote earlier than most children. When he was six, a teacher placed a series of numbers on the classroom chalkboard. X intuitively substituted  letters for the digits, cracked the code, and raised his hand to read the message aloud.  

 Being such a bright boy had earned X the accolades of his teachers, but his precocity also came with a cost. When he was nine, X qualified for a gifted education program. The only boy in his class to qualify,  he clearly remembered the hardship of leaving his peers behind. At once, he was stigmatized for his differences, branded as an outsider (Becker, 1963; Wilson, 1956). His peers immediately began to tease him about his new status, and X began to realize that his prodigious intellectual gifts could also be alienating and isolating (Hollingworth, 1942; Towers, 1990). 

 Hirschi’s control theory provides additional support for the notion of the angelic gifted child: “The academically competent boy is more likely to do well in school and more likely as a result to like school. The boy who likes school is less likely to be delinquent” (1969, p. 115). But by the time he was ten, X had figured out that “being the smart guy was bad.”  Being smart wasn’t smart at all. It meant social isolation and persecution as a nerd or a geek (Richardson, 1993). Accordingly, X cultivated a taste for heavy metal music, began to dress in black t-shirts and blue jeans, and downplayed his intellectual abilities at every available opportunity. Although his parents worried that X might become involved with drugs or delinquency, they remained confident in his values suspecting that it was all merely a phase."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge another, who is different from me and through this judgment, compound my backchat into nasty behavior towards that individual.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be jealous of the abilities of another, but instead of facing up to my experience of being 'less than that person', I make it about the other person, by creating rumors and spreading gossip, to the point that others convince themselves equally within the point of jealousy and comparison, to give into the point of bullying.

I commit myself to treat all beings with equality and equal respect as I respect myself, and when and as I find myself experiencing any backchat or thoughts, wants, needs desires towards another person or anything they have or are able to do, I stop, breathe and remind myself that it is not about the other person, and what they have or dont have - it is always about my own inner experience and how I am using the other as a mirror to actually reflect my own self-speak back to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a schooling system, where it has become common place for children to find each other intolerable, as if we have come to believe that we are different, even though we are all actually born equally into a physical body, within a physical reality - where it has only been within and through the Mind as Mind-Possession - where we have collectively as Society created this evil called thinking - where we have created ideas that we are apparently better than others, simply due to the secret nature of how addictive the human really is to energy - where we will allow addictions, in whatever form it may take - while all the time denying the abuse that we cause, and denying that we know that we cause such harm to one another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny that I exist within a constant relationship to things and people and within this relationship forming am at all times doing so to appear better than others, whilst creating concept as CONS of better than or not better than - where everybody buys into these lies, because everybody wants to be able to do the same thing, no matter what the expense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be an educator in a system where we allow things like bullying and comparison between children, where I stand as the developer of such a mind, and at no point do I speak up about the fact that the education system, allows for the development of the nasty backchat secret mind of the human, and the only morality that the education system will ever protect - as the real molarity that is protected is anything governed by and for the money system of the word - which if one look at it in absolute self-honesty has become 'god' within this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as parent to at no point consider tae consequences of blissfully ignoring my role as the parent, and for projecting responsibility for the development of my child onto the schooling system, governments and religions, while they are doing the exact same thing - while we al in self honesty really actually realize that how we exist and the way our children develop into adults, is in no way what is best for man, and that man has in fact become demonic and de-manned - but because survival of the Ego and survival through money has become the one reason why man exists - we in fact not only allow any form of abuse such as childhood bullying, but will even go as far as supporting these actions through how we develop the Ego of the child which is the basis from which the child then functions.

I commit myself to always show that every action and word, is always based in self interest - and that one can always trace the origin and starting point of why we accept and allow abuse in our societies and why we will condemn any person or group, whom suggest self honesty - because as a society we are always faced with the choice to exist as the problem or to solve the problem.

Day 66: International Crime Research: Serial Killers, Mass Murderers and Sociopaths Part 3

This blog is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-64-international-crime-research.html#

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-65-international-crime-research.html

Background info: if you have not been walking the Crime's Journey to Life blogs since the beginning - please read the following blog where I explain the how and why I walk this series and why I apply Self-Forgiveness as myself for all the character components found within 'Crime' - which includes understanding 'Crimes against Life'.

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/05/day-8-international-crime-research-bi.html

The Serial Killer Mind

The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer

My Self-Forgiveness will be based on the main points taken from the following article:

The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer: Sexual Serial Homicide from a Neuropsychiatric Developmental Perspective

From the article I will be compiling the main developmental/experiences within Jeffrey Dahmer - contributing to him becoming a 'Serial Killer'

"It is well known that JD was the product of a pregnancy complicated by the fact that his mother suffered from disabling protracted nausea, anxiety, and dysphoria coupled with his mother’s use of prescribed tranquilizers"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my past to influence myself through memory to such an extend that physically I am eventually overcome with states of 'protracted nausea, anxiety, and dysphoria'.

I commit myself to stop the past from repeating itself as cycles of abuse in my present, by clearing each moment as it happens, walking the moment in self honesty, self responsibility and consideration that my words and actions are molding me as well as the future generations as the words and actions we speak and live.

I forgive myself for storing the past as abusive or fearful experiences in my cells as DNA, which activates me into the living hell of 'protracted nausea, anxiety, and dysphoria'

I commit myself to show how allowing any form of abuse, does not not just 'go away' - but in fact in our world, is currently shown as being the key ingredient in the abuse that is recreated into and as the new generations - where no one considers that if we do not stop the layers of abuse and self sabotage - we will never change what is here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the dimension of Fear, which causes anxiety, nausea and eventually influences the mind of the being into altered states, where the mind shifts itself off into protection mechanisms and mechanical dysfunctions - such as 'dysphoria'.

Dysphoria (difficult to bear) (semantically opposite of euphoria) is a medically recognized mental and emotional condition in which a person experiences intense feelings of depression, discontent, and in some cases indifference to the world around them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up on myself due to my internal self sabotage conversations and life circumstances, in which I manifest the experience od self-depression.

I commit myself to stand up from within this energetic experience of 'depression', into and through breathing - where I release myself from the idea that I give up on myself - as I realize that this giving up was merely based on my rejecting myself, who I have become and the world before me - where I have never considered changing myself or the world I live in to no longer allow any abuse and harm, wherein I am taking direct responsibility for the allowance of depression within me by taking responsibility for the reasons why such self annihilation occurs.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use depression as a means of escape - wherein I have submitted myself in my living flesh to a point of discomfort and avoidance, instead of facing who and what I am within how the world functions - but instead abdicating self responsibility of myself into a withdrawal and physical punishment.

I forgive myself for reminding myself daily through internal conversations that my life is to much to bear, instead of realizing the compounding effect it will eventually have on my mind and physical, as I program myself into and as the experience of depression.

I commit myself to stop any and all polarities within myself, where I create life and self worth expectations, which are based on positives and negative outcomes, which force me into a continuous struggle as I attempt to correct the polarities I perceive as I program myself into systems of the mind charged by feelings I programmed as either positive or negative.

Day 55: Education Fraud Part 16 – Medicalization of the Education System Part 4 - Parents abusing Ritalin Part 2

This blog is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/day-52-international-crime-research.html

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/day-53-education-fraud-part-14.html

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-54-education-fraud-part-15.html#



Parents abusing Ritalin Part 2

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as parent to fear losing control of my child

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my child for being active/overactive/hyperactive or expressive to the point that causes me embarrassment or concern for him/her, our environment or the actions of the child within other environments such as school/groups/outings/shopping malls/play dates etc.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what other parents will say about me and my ability to parent my child, if they see my child behaving strangely/excessively and/or different to the other children.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the system as schools and other authoritative figures lashing out at me, if my child behaves strangely/excessively in public places/towards others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust the opinions of 'authoritative figures', not realizing or considering that their profession exists from research connected to the acceptance of the human as we currently exist, which ties in with the capitalistic/economic survival of man, where we medicalize and label problems, simply to drive the economy and give the economy a chance to survive at the expense of the human experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the authoritative opinions, whom I have not considered do what they do, simply because they got degrees from the universities that presented the material, which supports the global economy - therefore the principle of 'human care' is not one of 'funding solutions' but to profit from the problems - therefore everything that comes from the 'authoritative figures' supports the survival of profit and therefore their methods are designed specifically to keep the child and parent trapped within a system of knowledge and information that has no outcome as what is best for all humanity, but to accept the human as lost and broken. That is why we are seeing more and more human behaviors being labeled into 'conditions' - this exists due to the creations of jobs/professions/skills of all that we encounter or experience, so that money can be made from all that is here - as people struggle to survive in the current economic system. Therefore all that is here - means that as the human allows more and more energetic mind possessions, the more the 'authorities' will label the behaviors into conditions, which can then be sold and turned into/medicalized into therapies/methods/courses which have to be paid for and always are about maintaining the human as something out of control, instead of teaching/educating the organic robot about self responsibility, self honesty and self forgiveness.

The following article is an example of the above statements - which I will expand on in future blogs:

http://www.canberratimes.com.au/technology/technology-news/screenaddicted-children-may-have-newest-mental-illness-20120929-26s7q.html

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto a picture of what a child must be and do and look like, equivalent to the children of his/her age

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself once my child does not match this picture that represents the majority of children in our society - to develop backchat as internal conversations about my child being different, naughty and how I must correct this problem.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the internal, backchat conversations towards others and my child in relation to the fear of 'what do the other mothers think of me', or 'what will become of my child as he/she grows up, if he/she carries on behaving like this'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the emotions/feelings of annoyance, anger, rejection, love, acceptance, jealousy etc - to be the energetic driving force between seeing my child's behavior and deciding to act by giving the child drugs - as I am directed by emotions and feelings linked to values I have placed in relation to my child and how others view me through my child.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to change my physical behavior around my child, based on fear of loss, fear of making mistakes and fear of death - where my child's future is being equated by me, through how I perceive my child will be treated within the system, through their behaviors.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to direct the outcome of placing my child on drugs for any other reason, but a last practical consideration, when all other factors/methods have been considered or walked, where me placing my child on drugs is based on an energetic reaction, based on pictures, fears and backchat conversations within myself towards how I perceive my child will or is being treated and what I project the future outcome of the child's survival within the system will be.