Todays blog is a continuation from:
"Children are not born believing that an Allah or a Jesus or a Satan sits somewhere above (or below) them watching their every move, punishing them at random times if their bad (or good?) behaviour and removes all responsibility fro them just because 'they worship' and thus allows them to participate in a world where cause and effect is the law, but because of 'beLIEve', cause and effect apparently does not touch the religious . Children are not born believing that animals are there for us (created by the invisible dude in the sky) to do with as we please. I could keep going with examples, but I think you get what I am saying…"
So getting back to my filters. I remember reading books on the paranormal and being completely perplexed and dumfounded that such things could exist. Now this is where I bring in my above mentioned point about religion and brainwashing. Maybe, just maybe, if my parents has not been brainwashed to fear god and to fear ghosts, but to embrace the reality of the situation - which is that there is no real proof of god - therefore you don’t have to lie about who you are in this life, and to not fear questioning why would god leave spirits to roam the earth in confusion - because questioning 'god' is a taboo topic - then maybe I would have had the confidence to ask the questions relevant to understanding the paranormal. But instead I had to buy books in town and read alone, pondering to myself what all of this could mean. You did not ask adults, because by golly - you just don’t ask those kinds of questions and if you do -you get very short answers such as 'ghosts don’t exist', or 'it is gods will(?), or 'don’t ask me ask your father', or 'don’t speak about that', 'it is of the devil'…. LOL I remember once in school either myself or another child took out some book about devil worship from the library. A few days later another child also took out a book about the occult and this put up a red flag for the school and all books on the occult/devil worship were duly removed. Children were being influenced by the devil! So obviously, I was aware that such topics were frowned upon and leaned towards developing quiet ways of buying books and reading by myself.
So the point I am getting at is that I like most children, never really dealt with the actuality of the truth behind the paranormal, because not even my parents, siblings or other adults I came into contact with had a clue about the paranormal and why it existed, and thus my interest turned into an ENERGY - a weird dark -as I called it before 'macabre' energy that sat in my chest and in my belly it transformed into a ball of anxiety as excitement as I was faced with this strange, ultimately unclear 'realm'. Even into my early adulthood I held onto this energy and by then it transformed into a 'look at what I am into' energy as I become a bit of a rebel against society and wore my 'paranormal' interest like a badge and ultimately a shield - which protected me from increased paranoia about boys and peer pressures and the increased pressure to do well in school. I believed that I was special and cool because I did not have a religion and dared to lift the covers and look at what was underneath the bed. Obviously I did not really see what was under the covers because I did not have a frame of reference at that stage of what could possibly be going on. In my mind, I too (like the adults) had mere frames of reference and unfortunately they were pretty much also based around 'demons are bad', and angels are good.
Only years later (which is where my involvement wit Desteni comes in) do I start to see and understand that there were even deeper truths, which in my younger years I would not have been able or willing to listen to and this was mostly due to the fact that my 'intrigue' as I mentioned earlier had turned into an energy which I had become accustomed to and therefore, this was the start of my interests into all things new age and paranormal - where my life choices from there on were mostly shaped by my desire to follow this energy of 'mystery and intrigue.' More in my next blog…