Day 189: Family Dynamics - the drama continues! (part 2)

Continuing from:

Day 188: Family Dynamics - the drama continues! (part 1)

So basically this move starts out with estranged, pissed off, resentful family members coming together because of a dying fathers wish` and then for the 7 days that they 'mourn together' these family members bicker and fight and at times physical climb into each other. So my first question was why sit in a room with people you dislike (they even admit that they do not like each other) all for a man who is dead? Here obviously the belief exists that a dead person is now siting in some afterlife holding you accountable for whether you follow through on his wishes or not. Does this change the fact that while he was alive the family were distant and angry with each other? No of course not - it does not change the circumstances before the man died and certainly did not change the way that the person died (usually from some disease like Cancer). So again a belief directed people instead of us directing ourselves.

Ok so now one would argue that the family were driven to communicate and try and sort out their issues because of the circumstances around the fathers death. Yes but why must we as human beings apparently wait until we emotionally manipulate ourselves into changing - because that is what we are doing if a persons approaching death is the reason for us to do something.

Therefore this story shows us how self absorbed we are as human beings and how we are driven by guilt and fear and resentment and tradition - which shows that this is what we are as the essence of ourselves.

Ok so now the family are together and they are in the room for 10 mins and the fighting starts. Is this how we 'honour' the memory of a dead person - with our emotional turmoil that takes precedence -again showing the layers of self interest that exist as the human. I mean why do we then do these types of ceremonies if all we are there to do is take center stage with our emotion al turmoil?

Now as the story unfolds - you see that each person is trapped in some form of a drama - there is cheating and lying and money grabbing etc etc. Again I sit there and I have to ask myself the question. I know that I don’t participate that much in the system with people, but boy oh boy how much of what is depicted in these movies really happens to and by people and why do we find this entertaining? So 2 questions came up in me - how much of this is based on real life stories? I mean towards the end of the movie every one of the family members was having an affair. I was like WHAT?? Ok so if this is slight dramatization - lets say of even 40 percent of it was true,  - then that is seriously messed up. Yikes. Next question was why do we find this entertaining - the nastiest of human behaviour? I mean for me as someone who studies and wants to understand the human mind and human behaviour it was, as this blog indicates a lesson about human behaviour and also about the human mind and entertainment. I did not enjoy the movie in the least because as I have now summarized it was about decrepit human behaviour, which is encapsulated in the family system into acceptable dramatic behaviour - which sorry to say is not only Hollywood 'dramatization'. This is what happens in many family environments - an outlet for emotional and reactive mind patterns, in an environment where you get away with it because of a belief that family must take each others 'stuff' and allow each other an acceptable platform for being 'who they are'. Ouchy.

Day 150: Living by the principle of what is best for all part 3

Please read the previous 2 parts:

Day 147: Living by the principle of what is best for all part 1
Day 148: Living by the principle of what is best for all part 2

“In Psychology we touch on some of these practices that are actually realized as not being what is best for us such as ‘condemning someone because of a different belief system, bullying a child because they wont accept the same religion as the parent, victimising someone in the community for being gay/lesbian, attacking someone's character online because of their hairstyle or life style preference, society victimising/targeting a minority group which stir reactions and fears due to their different way of living. These are but a hand full of examples amongst millions of events that happen every day in millions of house holds and communities all over the world. Where people are enforcing their personal belief systems, ideologies, values and ways of thinking onto others and for most of these situations as I mentioned above – they are seen as justifiable by the rest of society under the banner of ‘protecting society’ or ‘your family’ or ‘your way of living’.”

So for myself I realized many things while investigating the world and the mind of the individual – our fears, our beliefs, how emotions and feelings work, what is consciousness etc. Within this I realized one key principle which in a way simplifies everything – ME. If I change myself into what is the best human I could be, where I stop looking towards gurus and profits like Jesus and actually change and Live me to be a solid, effective, trustworthy human being, living what is best for ALL – and then if each human does that, then obviously we will put an end on an individual thus global level to all forms of abuse.

Currently we are looking towards and blaming the governments, religions and ‘other people’ for not doing what is best – but can we see how these institutions are merely placed by us as management points and if we decide to live dishonesty, then obviously the management systems are going to manage us within our dishonesty. I mean religion was formed to control the human, where we were not living self responsibility – so people stepped in and used religion as  way to control people. Really, you can sugar coat religion as best you want to by saying ‘but jesus came’ and ‘I saw this’ and ‘but that happened’ or ‘that book was written by that profit/gods son/disciple’ and ‘that miracle happened’. You are able to justify any pre-programmed event into proof for what one is doing. And religion is an example of us not standing by ourselves, for ourselves as responsible humans. It is a mechanism that holds the human almost like  a backbone, where we do not trust ourselves to act alone for the best of all. And of course if one look at the principles of religion which have all clearly been shown, you will see that the hidden truths behind how the Mind of the human functions – is the foundation from which religions and the same for political parties are structured.

If in my mind  I desire to have somebody take my ‘sins’ away from me so that I can watch porn and have nasty thoughts about others people and deceive people in my business – what better way to do that than create a religion that will explain my weaknesses and take away my sins, so allowing me to continue doing what I was doing, but with a justified, societally acceptable scapegoat and outlet. The same method is applied for religions that condemn, and declare wars, and fight over so called ‘right and wrong’, and to protect classes of people and to condemn people who are different than those of that religion …. look at what exists inside ourselves as we belongs to the religion and you will see the truth of who we are at all times. The rules of a religion shows us the rules of our Minds. The same applies for politics and how laws are created – always protecting those who have an involvement in how laws are made.

Getting back to the Principle – I realized firstly that to be the change of a better human, a better world – I had to be the change – this in itself is common sense, but most who fight this point – do so because what we have accepted as ourselves as the true self that is hidden in our thoughts and reactions and feelings – this true self does not want to change. The true beingness of the human wants to have our special feelings and thoughts and place in the world where we are unique and different and liked and desires and rich and where we can separate ourselves from ‘others’ all the time, so that we can be better and see ourselves as better. This all comes with the territory of the Human Ego, which functions according to ( as I have mentioned before) ‘Energy’. The addiction to energy which is created by the mind within the body, is the reason why the human ‘thinks’. I am not referring to thinking as a practical tool of moving oneself in your environment such as ‘what will I make for supper’ I am talking about the mind that functions in a quantum level for energy as the Ego and Personality – where the thought goes from what will I make for supper – to I must make food that will be low in calories – so that I can loose weight – so that I can be skinny – so that men and woman will like me for being skinny and beautiful and this allows me to ‘feel’ beautiful and acceptable and desirable etc… and now I accept myself. One is able to walk inside the mind like this and see how most of our thoughts are running all the time to work on the deception which has become ‘the human’. Where our existence has become that of living through and for wanting to be special and powerful and unique and through these mind-values we will only accept ourselves.

So you might be asking yourself the question – what is wrong with me wanting to accept myself if I am beautiful? As I have explained above – currently all forms of abuse in this world exists, because we are all busy inflicting harm onto ourselves and others for self interest – about what ‘I WANT’. Therefore a choice always exists, for us to continue allowing this planet to be a foundation for us to grow up into adults where we accept what it means currently to be human, and we too accept our own pre programmed designs which take us down a path of playing a role in the self interest and illusion of what we have created as what it means to be alive. For most being alive means being loved, being appreciated, having material goods, having fun, having money, being free to do what you want, feeling special, belonging, having power in ones life. These statements as examples sound very nice on first view – however I encourage you as I have done for myself to walk these thought patterns deeper into what really goes on behind them, why we have them and what are the consequence in our world and to other people, nature and the animal kingdom, for the individual to be able to experience these ‘desires’ and desired forms of apparent ‘living’.

To be continued...

Day 77: International Crime Research: Serial Killers, Mass Murderers and Sociopaths Part 12: Learning to Kill

My Self-Forgiveness will focus on the following Article:


The Qualitative Report Volume 9 Number 2 June 2004: Sipping Coffee with a Serial Killer: On Conducting Life History Interviews with a Criminal Genius

Author: J. C. Oleson


In each blog I will walk self-forgiveness on different parts of the Article, discussing the developmental aspects of somebody who 'learns to kill'.

This blog is a continuation from the previous blog in this series:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-75-international-crime-research.html

"As a child, X demonstrated precocious maturation. He spoke, read, and wrote earlier than most children. When he was six, a teacher placed a series of numbers on the classroom chalkboard. X intuitively substituted  letters for the digits, cracked the code, and raised his hand to read the message aloud.  

 Being such a bright boy had earned X the accolades of his teachers, but his precocity also came with a cost. When he was nine, X qualified for a gifted education program. The only boy in his class to qualify,  he clearly remembered the hardship of leaving his peers behind. At once, he was stigmatized for his differences, branded as an outsider (Becker, 1963; Wilson, 1956). His peers immediately began to tease him about his new status, and X began to realize that his prodigious intellectual gifts could also be alienating and isolating (Hollingworth, 1942; Towers, 1990). 

 Hirschi’s control theory provides additional support for the notion of the angelic gifted child: “The academically competent boy is more likely to do well in school and more likely as a result to like school. The boy who likes school is less likely to be delinquent” (1969, p. 115). But by the time he was ten, X had figured out that “being the smart guy was bad.”  Being smart wasn’t smart at all. It meant social isolation and persecution as a nerd or a geek (Richardson, 1993). Accordingly, X cultivated a taste for heavy metal music, began to dress in black t-shirts and blue jeans, and downplayed his intellectual abilities at every available opportunity. Although his parents worried that X might become involved with drugs or delinquency, they remained confident in his values suspecting that it was all merely a phase."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge another, who is different from me and through this judgment, compound my backchat into nasty behavior towards that individual.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be jealous of the abilities of another, but instead of facing up to my experience of being 'less than that person', I make it about the other person, by creating rumors and spreading gossip, to the point that others convince themselves equally within the point of jealousy and comparison, to give into the point of bullying.

I commit myself to treat all beings with equality and equal respect as I respect myself, and when and as I find myself experiencing any backchat or thoughts, wants, needs desires towards another person or anything they have or are able to do, I stop, breathe and remind myself that it is not about the other person, and what they have or dont have - it is always about my own inner experience and how I am using the other as a mirror to actually reflect my own self-speak back to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a schooling system, where it has become common place for children to find each other intolerable, as if we have come to believe that we are different, even though we are all actually born equally into a physical body, within a physical reality - where it has only been within and through the Mind as Mind-Possession - where we have collectively as Society created this evil called thinking - where we have created ideas that we are apparently better than others, simply due to the secret nature of how addictive the human really is to energy - where we will allow addictions, in whatever form it may take - while all the time denying the abuse that we cause, and denying that we know that we cause such harm to one another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny that I exist within a constant relationship to things and people and within this relationship forming am at all times doing so to appear better than others, whilst creating concept as CONS of better than or not better than - where everybody buys into these lies, because everybody wants to be able to do the same thing, no matter what the expense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be an educator in a system where we allow things like bullying and comparison between children, where I stand as the developer of such a mind, and at no point do I speak up about the fact that the education system, allows for the development of the nasty backchat secret mind of the human, and the only morality that the education system will ever protect - as the real molarity that is protected is anything governed by and for the money system of the word - which if one look at it in absolute self-honesty has become 'god' within this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as parent to at no point consider tae consequences of blissfully ignoring my role as the parent, and for projecting responsibility for the development of my child onto the schooling system, governments and religions, while they are doing the exact same thing - while we al in self honesty really actually realize that how we exist and the way our children develop into adults, is in no way what is best for man, and that man has in fact become demonic and de-manned - but because survival of the Ego and survival through money has become the one reason why man exists - we in fact not only allow any form of abuse such as childhood bullying, but will even go as far as supporting these actions through how we develop the Ego of the child which is the basis from which the child then functions.

I commit myself to always show that every action and word, is always based in self interest - and that one can always trace the origin and starting point of why we accept and allow abuse in our societies and why we will condemn any person or group, whom suggest self honesty - because as a society we are always faced with the choice to exist as the problem or to solve the problem.