Showing posts with label murder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label murder. Show all posts

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Day 117: Capitalism Part 5: Self-Forgiveness on Blame and Self-Responsibility within Capitalism

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that Capitalism as the system that is supposed to support Life - is not able to be changed and that who I am is insignificant to even question why we have allowed the system that is supposed to serve life - has become one that supports greed and corruption at the price of millions of lives every day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go to work each day, fearing what might happen to me: on the way there driving, will a drunk person come along and crash into my car, or will some stranger walk up to me and attack me, due to the decision they have made to take vengeance on others based on their life experience, drug use or the point they have reached within their life where they are possessed by fear or rage, to the point of acting out and not even realizing the consequences of their actions.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing  myself to when reading in the news about how each day people are acting out, becoming possessed and taking vengeance on others in the form of terrorist attacks, shootings, stabbings, abuse, serial killers, parents that kill children, people that abuse animals and children - where I have never stopped for a moment to ask - what has happened within this persons mind  - to go from being a child themselves, an innocent - brought into this world - where something changes within them - to never stop to investigate my fellow humans who are acting out in these extreme ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to never stop to investigate what is behind these actions - to investigate the deeper influences and factors behind why a child grows up being a killer and a person who derives satisfaction from bring pain, death and suffering to other beings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find the only solace that I am able to within this, by turning a blind eye, ignoring the facts even though the research that already exists, even though marginal shows that family abuse, environmental influences and stress brought on by societal pressures and economic stress has a serious impact on who people are becoming the the mind-possession type cases we are seeing in the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to turn a  blind eye to these causes of suffering and abuse - so that I do not firstly have to face the fact that there is something very wrong with our world, with our society, with our economic system and with our religions - where we are driving innocent beings to a life of extreme actions and choices to have to survive - but where we as the observers do nothing and claim to not have the capacity to change what it is that we are directly able to investigate as the causes

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to then go into absolute fear, fear of death, pain and suffering when I am faced with the reality behind why suffering exists - to the point where I will protect the same systems that are responsible for abuse to the individual - because inside me, inside my mind - I fear retribution by some god or whoever I believe is responsible for us - so much that I will not question the system.

therefore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing  myself when faced with for example a story of a building collapsing on workers, I am unwilling and unable to even place myself in that persons shoes, to understand that this could have been me and that the people who died had by birth right - the right just like me - to also live a full, happy, healthy life- and that it is by my choice to ignore the fact that these things are happening to my Equal's within this world and that what this says about me -as my lack of empathy, my lack of responsibility is that I do not yet see myself as equal to life - and that within this I must have at some stage accepted the brainwashing that i am nothing, the people and animals that die each day - are nothing - and that this is the value system that I have ascribed to all life.

and therefore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing  myself to have ascribed this value system of nothing to the future generations, to my children - because what I refuse to see and understand is that obviously at some stage if I give permission now to this system where the lives of the innocent are used for profit by permission of all of humanity - then obviously - just like the people who die every day in work related tragedies - at some stage it will affect us all as our future generations will all be faced with these same consequences - where their lives, as ascribed by me as worth nothing will also be used within capitalism purely for profit - and this I already see within my own life and the lives of those around me, as we all go to work and are underpaid our worth in participation and left still with rising debt - but we refuse to see and understand that this closed system called capitalism will more and more take the lives of the innocent - which will be the future generations I have already given as I have ascribed their lives to mean 'nothing'.

To be continued...


Further Reading:

Employment within the Equal Money Capitalism System

Equal Money Capitalism and Redefining Profit

Equal Money Capitalism  - preparing the Road for change

Equal Profit Share and Equal Money Capitalism

Monday, November 26, 2012

Day 73: International Crime Research: Serial Killers, Mass Murderers and Sociopaths Part 10: Learning to Kill



My Self-Forgiveness will focus on the following Article:

The Qualitative Report Volume 9 Number 2 June 2004: Sipping Coffee with a Serial Killer: On Conducting Life  History Interviews with a Criminal Genius

Author: J. C. Oleson


In each blog I will walk self-forgiveness on different parts of the Article, discussing the developmental aspects of somebody who 'learns to kill':

"As part of my Ph.D. research on criminal genius, I conducted 44 semistructured interviews. One of the 44 subjects, in particular, stood out. This noteworthy individual claimed that he had killed 15 people. His story was particularly interesting because – unlike most social research involving  serial killers – he claimed that he had never been arrested or convicted for  his homicides. Compelled by his account, I met with this subject on five additional occasions, and gradually compiled his criminal life history.
Ethical and legal considerations limited inquiry into several dimensions of this subject’s life history, but over time, an interesting and richly textured narrative emerged. This article first describes the life experiences of this offender and then describes the methodological choices that shaped the research.
Because criminologists have historically focused their research on vulnerable populations such as juveniles or prison inmates (Barnes & Teeters, 1959), almost nothing is known about the patterns of criminal behavior among gifted  adults with exceptional cognitive abilities (Blackburn, 1993).
Intrigued by this enigmatic topic, I studied the crimes of geniuses – offenses committed by people with IQ scores of 132 or higher (Simonton, 1994). I relied upon the self-report questionnaire (Huizinga & Elliott, 1986; Thornberry & Krohn, 2000) to inventory the offenses of my subjects. The selfreport instrument is one of the only means to effectively study hidden offending (Hood & 193   The Qualitative Report June 2004 Sparks, 1970). Using a newly designed self-report questionnaire, I collected extensive self-report data from 424 subjects in three different groups of geniuses:
1. Members of the International Society  for Philosophical Enquiry [ISPE], an international elite high  IQ society with a 150 IQ  [99.9 percentile] admissions threshold
2. Undergraduate and graduate students  at prestigious American and British universities
3. High IQ inmates incarcerated in American and British correctional facilities.

 Sampling from these groups allowed me to tap all three categories of genius described by Towers (1990): the outsider (the gifted individual, who joins a high IQ society to find the mental stimulation that he or she cannot find through professional or social avenues), the conformist (the gifted individual, who finds sufficient mental stimulation through work and peers), and the dropout (the gifted individual, who cannot or will not abide by the norms and laws of society).
 The questionnaire included 17 demographic questions, 72 different offense items (ranging in seriousness from the abuse of work privileges to homicide committed outside wartime), and asked subjects about the books, movies, and famous figures that had shaped their lives.

 I did not want my study to be a dry recitation of crime rates and correlations. Numbers and statistics alone could not capture the social realities of the offenses that I was documenting (Bryman, 1988). To do so, I needed qualitative results. I needed to write my subjects’ stories, to describe their thinking and feeling, and to convey some of the sensual aspects of their crimes.
I settled for conducting semi-structured interviews with 44 subjects (Brenner, Brown, & Canter, 1985). I purposively selected interview subjects (Jupp, 1989), trying to gather qualitative data across the entire spectrum of offending. All 44 of the interviews were fascinating. Still, the interviews that I conducted with the subject I called “Mr. X” stood out from the others, intriguing me.

When I met with the subject I called Mr. X, I was overwhelmed by the sentiment. Mr. X, who was not much older than I was, had been raised in a similar family environment and had been educated in some of the same gifted education programs as me. It  made it frightfully easy to imagine myself in his shoes and to picture myself making the same choices that he had unwittingly made. In trying to understand what had led Mr. X to embrace crime, I was – I believe – simultaneously trying to understand  what had insulated me from it (Patton, 2002, p. 11-12).
 The six interviews that I conducted with Mr. X generated a wealth of qualitative data. Because research access to elite groups (like people with genius-level IQ scores) is often incredibly difficult to negotiate (e.g., Fussell, 1983; Nader, 1972), criminologists know virtually nothing about the crimes of the elite. It is exceptionally rare to find an elite, who will discuss undetected offenses. To find an elite, who is willing to discuss undetected offenses – including murder, – is unprecedented.

 I will first recount the criminal life history of Mr. X. His account is broken into sections set off with evocative epigrams drawn from literature and philosophy that help to set the tone of his story.

 Mr. X 

At 31 years old, he was a young urban professionals, who rose from the ranks of the X Generation (Coupland, 1991) to succeed in the cutthroat job markets of California during the dot-com 1990’s.
 
 He dressed in conservative labels, wore an old Rolex, scuffed, expensive leather shoes, and drove a nondescript luxury sedan. He was exceptionally bright, articulate, and had been educated at a prestigious university.  He had  scored a 162 on a self-administered IQ test, placing him in the 99.995 percentile (Jensen, 1980), catapulting him well beyond the 132 IQ minimum threshold of “genius” (Simonton, 1994).

 We met on six separate occasions. During the second interview, he began to describe his offenses and the antecedents that (he believed) led him to the commission of these crimes. By gradually collecting the details of this man’s life throughout the six interviews, I was able to  assemble his life history (Atkinson, 1998; Sarbin, 1986; Shaw, 1930). It was a remarkable history. Indeed, Mr. X was not entirely the affable genius he seemed to be. X had been shot three times. X also acknowledged smuggling thousands of kilograms of cocaine into the United States.
 
 While “serial killer” is a term typically used to describe individuals compelled to kill for sexualized power-seeking reasons (Egger, 1998; Hickey, 1991; Norris, 1988; Wilson & Seaman, 1990), if X’s claim was true, he qualified as a serial killer within the law enforcement taxonomy proposed by Douglas, Burgess, Burgess, and Ressler, “Serial murder is defined as three or more separate  events in three or more separate locations with an emotional cooling-off period between homicides” (1992, p.21).
 In addition to murder and drug smuggling, X admitted to illegally manipulating bank accounts, forging official documents, fencing stolen goods and automobiles, and perjuring himself under oath.
 
 And he’d gotten away with it.
 

Growing Up Different  

 "Farrington (1994) identified several antecedent risk factors that appear to predispose young people to juvenile delinquency and adult criminality, including low intelligence, socio-economic deprivation, and poor parental supervision. The stereotype of the common criminal (Sarbin, 1969) – the young man calcified by years of deprivation and abuse into a remorseless criminal – appears to be, at least in part, supported by criminological research (e.g., Agnew, 1992; Shaw & McKay, 1972)."


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condition the world into believing that people of low intelligence, socio-economic deprivation, and poor parental supervision are more likely to become criminals, instad of looking at how and why we as a society and as the parents and care takers of the human race allow such things as low intelligence, socio-economic deprivation, and poor parental supervision.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing an economic system that determines the life of all beings on this planet, to the consequential outflow of somebody taking the lives of other beings, simply from a point of suppressed rage, based on a shitty life experience which was caused by things like poverty, separation, unequal education, depravation, greed and abuse within a family system, caused by the parents being under constant pressure due to their own financial worries and emotional pressure experienced from the life experienced they were pressured into.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a world where we value sensationalism so much, over that of life that we will value - the energetic experience we get from reading about serial killers more than any form a self honest realization, that our world not only produces beings that suffer under 'low intelligence, socio-economic deprivation, and poor parental supervision' - but that this in many cases results in being lashing out at and into society, where they abuse and harm others, who are essentially also innocent within it all - instead of finding solutions once and for all to stop these generational, societal cycles of abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a society where we pride ourselves in apparently having intelligent people - but at the cost of an education system that divides children into groups, where only specific groups are catered for, and these groups get effective or semi effective educations, while the other groups become dumbed down due to the education system not providing for them - and within this capitalistic system -we realize if we dare to be self honest that if you are not thinking like a machine ready to survive in the world of working and money - then you will not even be able to feed yourself.

I forgive myself for creating intellectualized titles and categories for people that are of 'low intelligence, socio-economic deprivation, and poor parental supervision', instead of calling this a crime against life, and as criminologist, writing and communicating firstly about these crimes, before blabbering in self importance about these beings as if I am somehow superior to them in that God bestowed me with some special, 'ability' to watch as these beings are subjected to abuse and harm, so that I may write papers about how pathetic these beings are as they exist as characters in a story.

I commit myself to make self-education available to all, where the emphasis is the purification of the individual into Life that all can Live to the fullest and I commit myself to make it possible for each to walk this journey to life, no matter where you come from as long as you have the willpower to write yourself to freedom.

I commit myself to propose a change to the current economic system, into one that will stop all these cycles of abuse and re-form how humanity has functioned thus far as the starting point of ourselves as simplistic self interest and greed.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Day 66: International Crime Research: Serial Killers, Mass Murderers and Sociopaths Part 3






This blog is a continuation from:


Background info: if you have not been walking the Crime's Journey to Life blogs since the beginning - please read the following blog where I explain the how and why I walk this series and why I apply Self-Forgiveness as myself for all the character components found within 'Crime' - which includes understanding 'Crimes against Life'.







The Serial Killer Mind

The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer




My Self-Forgiveness will be based on the main points taken from the following article:



From the article I will be compiling the main developmental/experiences within Jeffrey Dahmer - contributing to him becoming a 'Serial Killer'

"It is well known that JD was the product of a pregnancy complicated by the fact that his mother suffered from disabling protracted nausea, anxiety, and dysphoria coupled with his mother’s use of prescribed tranquilizers"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my past to influence myself through memory to such an extend that physically I am eventually overcome with states of 'protracted nausea, anxiety, and dysphoria'.

I commit myself to stop the past from repeating itself as cycles of abuse in my present, by clearing each moment as it happens, walking the moment in self honesty, self responsibility and consideration that my words and actions are molding me as well as the future generations as the words and actions we speak and live.

I forgive myself for storing the past as abusive or fearful experiences in my cells as DNA, which activates me into the living hell of 'protracted nausea, anxiety, and dysphoria'

I commit myself to show how allowing any form of abuse, does not not just 'go away' - but in fact in our world, is currently shown as being the key ingredient in the abuse that is recreated into and as the new generations - where no one considers that if we do not stop the layers of abuse and self sabotage - we will never change what is here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the dimension of Fear, which causes anxiety, nausea and eventually influences the mind of the being into altered states, where the mind shifts itself off into protection mechanisms and mechanical dysfunctions - such as 'dysphoria'.

Dysphoria (difficult to bear) (semantically opposite of euphoria) is a medically recognized mental and emotional condition in which a person experiences intense feelings of depression, discontent, and in some cases indifference to the world around them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up on myself due to my internal self sabotage conversations and life circumstances, in which I manifest the experience od self-depression.

I commit myself to stand up from within this energetic experience of 'depression', into and through breathing - where I release myself from the idea that I give up on myself - as I realize that this giving up was merely based on my rejecting myself, who I have become and the world before me - where I have never considered changing myself or the world I live in to no longer allow any abuse and harm, wherein I am taking direct responsibility for the allowance of depression within me by taking responsibility for the reasons why such self annihilation occurs.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use depression as a means of escape - wherein I have submitted myself in my living flesh to a point of discomfort and avoidance, instead of facing who and what I am within how the world functions - but instead abdicating self responsibility of myself into a withdrawal and physical punishment.

I forgive myself for reminding myself daily through internal conversations that my life is to much to bear, instead of realizing the compounding effect it will eventually have on my mind and physical, as I program myself into and as the experience of depression.

I commit myself to stop any and all polarities within myself, where I create life and self worth expectations, which are based on positives and negative outcomes, which force me into a continuous struggle as I attempt to correct the polarities I perceive as I program myself into systems of the mind charged by feelings I programmed as either positive or negative.

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