Showing posts with label what are demons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label what are demons. Show all posts

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Day 162: The Paranormal Series part 23 - Demons vs. Angels part 10

This blog is a continuation from:



"So both J and myself would confide in each other when we had arguments with family and from there our magic started developing from 'white magic' which as I explained above as the 'innocent' type of spell casting, to 'grey magic' where we would cast spells to 'bounce' what people did, back to them. LOL. Anyways so basically this meant that if somebody was mean to us or would try and hurt us etc, we would cast a spell so that whatever they did to us would go back to them 3 TIMES!! As I said, looking back now I can giggle about these things, because seriously it shows me, how religion shows firstly how effective the human imagination is in created our own self interest, but to also be able to live out and express all the nasty, thoughts and emotions that we have towards each other and ourselves, while supressing our fears of each other, but under the guise of 'spirituality, or 'religion'. Makes it all sound so plausible and innocent when you are getting away with all kinds of shit in your mind towards yourself and others…"


Artwork: https://www.facebook.com/marlen.delrazo
In the past I received many emails and comments on the videos I did about my Wiccan and Demon Possession experiences - where people misunderstood many of the things I explained. So perhaps I will address those questions here, because I see how sometimes speaking directly about my past and what I have come to realize about it - from a 'direct' translation' perspective creates confusion in some people - where for example due to again the 'filtering system' of the mind, where a person will directly equate what one says to their own point of reference - people will misinterpret what I am saying based on their point of reference. So now after writing about my experiences both in the book that I did (part 1) and doing the videos - I will explore new dimensions of those experiences in this blog - using the opportunity to slow down more and to consider the questions people have had about why I say what I say.



Artwork: https://www.facebook.com/marlen.delrazo

For example people responded to my video series where I explained that I was a wican AND used the Ouija Board to communicate with my guides and spirits, by saying that this could not be 'true wiccanism' if I used a Ouija Board. So I will use this opportunity to refer us back to the 'filtering system' that I wrote about back in a previous blog - where to make an assessment and comparison between one person's beliefs and practices to ones own practices -only happens if one has set in stone how you believe reality works and that your way of doing it is the correct way. This will be where we again just like our parents and grandparents, who insisted that their ways and religions and governments are 'the law' - are creating belief systems within ourselves of 'how things work' - whereby we filter what others do through our belief systems and will either respond 'yes that is acceptance or correct' or 'no you are wrong!'.

What I have realized over the years is that none of us really understands how reality works - is that not so? I mean for a moment consider how each one of us came to accept the religions that we did. For example for most, religion is either something that was passed down or 'forced' down by your parents and family or your religion became something you found on your own terms, by comparing what 'feels right' to you about yourself and life, and thus as the example that I gave about Wiccanism, it is something that 'resonated' with me. What this means is that ones pre-programmed personality designs are resonating with those aspects within the religion which would be amplified or supressed by the religion of choice. Thus indicating that firstly religion is not really a choice, because it is something that is mostly 'passed down', and if one note back to the creation of religion, you will see how and why at the time religion as control systems were implemented. Secondly if one is 'choosing' a religion according to what 'resonated with you' this as I found merely indicated to me what was suited to my personality. And within this what I realized about myself through the religion that I chose was invaluable.

Therefore, one is able to learn a lot about where one is not fully taking responsibility for oneself, by the religion that we 'choose'. For example in religion what I found is that it gave me something outside of myself to live for - instead of living for myself and sorting out my own mind and my own life. Religion gave me strength in the belief that deities and energies and cosmic forces were 'looking out for me' and 'changing my life' instead of me being my own strength, my own guide and changing myself so that I could life a productive life. Religion gave me morality rules and concepts to follow - which were mostly based on make believe, but again this gives the mind something to focus on, where I 'felt good' about the life I was living and about my 'standing' - instead of realizing that I was attaching 'who I am' and 'what I do' and 'how I live' to a feeling, instead of just living here in this physical body, in this physical reality. Another example is that religion gave me a scape goat - if I did something wrong I could explain it away to some dark energy or a plan that coincided with some god or a cosmic journey, while on the other side of the coin, asking forgiveness from some god or a cosmic force - without realising that in 'asking for forgiveness'; to another or even some invisible made up being, I was abdicating self responsibility, and therefore not changing my behaviour and being the responsible factor that is actually doing 'the living'.

So with all religion one is able to see how and why one walks this religion and wears it like a cloak. What does it do for you? Why do we create this 'cloak' which protects us, hides us, changes us and gives us rules to live by? Why do we externalise ourselves into Religion instead of us being the directive principle? Is it because without religions man would fall apart? Does religion first show us the diversity of the human mind fucks, where as I mentioned previously religion allows the human our self interest, where we create self interest of 'WHAT I WANT' and our religion allows us to explore and justify 'WHAT I WANT' because no one can argue with me if I say that my god wants this or god gave it to me, or 'but the bible tells us so.' I mean golly gosh who is going to argue with a god? So this is our way of justifying how we want to live life and then we throw religion in the face of any person who argues against us. You cant pick a fight with god now can you? (not saying I believe god exists, merely drawing a parallel between the idea of a god exiting in ones mind and what this means in totality for human behaviour). For me it was also a matter of 'feeling loved' through 'belonging' and through the words that came through either in books or on the ouija board.' All of the above where some of my reasons for the religion/belief systems I chose...

Friday, October 3, 2014

Day 159: The Paranormal Series part 20 - Demons vs. Angels part 7

This blog is a continuation from:



"At the same time 'the boyfriend' made it possible for me to study Kinesiology. This was another factor that caused me to not leave him. I simply kept reminding myself that if I left him, I would have to give up my studies. Therefore - as I mentioned in my previous 2 blogs -I developed a 'new age' light worker type of personality, focusing on helping others, as I more and more related to a life of misery, suppression and compromise. On the other hand I developed a 'darker side (Fear is the path to the dark side…fear leads to anger…anger leads to hate…hate leads to suffering - Yoda) - a coping mechanism to not really have to collapse in a heap, where I could vent and be angry and hate."

At the same time what had started developing in me was an increased fascination with 'the dead'. As I mentioned in the video series and book that I did on my 'demon possession experience' this all started around the age of 19. I went to a friends house for his birthday party. There I met another friend of his, whom was a Wiccan. I found this very interesting of course, due to the fact that I was always reading about the paranormal and alternative types of beliefs and happening in the world. So, I spent quite a while asking him questions about how his belief worked and of course when he mentioned that he was into communicating with his guides and other spirits on the Ouija board, that really peaked my interest. He invited me to come round to his house sometime and visit him, so that I could see how he plays on the Ouija Board and then he could also explain more to me about his spirituality. We didn’t want to continue talking to much about it, as we could see some people around the table looked a bit uncomfortable.

I decided to take him up on his offer and I contacted him a few days later. At this stage of my life I was unemployed, frustrated and did not know what I would do with my life. I had studied horsemanship after school, but could not find a job working with horses that I would enjoy and as I mentioned in my previous blog I could not find a permanent 'system' job due to affirmative action. Therefore only occasionally would I find a temping job that would last a week to a month, but generally I sat at home and entertained myself with my books. Therefore meeting this interesting character, with his interesting ways, gave me something new to focus on and to divert my attention from my own life.

The first day I visited him he showed me how he used the Ouija board. Looking back now and knowing what I know now about demons and what use to be 'ghosts' I have to giggle - but we will get to 'why' later on. When we got onto the Ouija board he introduced me to his 'spirit guides' - Isis, Thor, Diana etc, whom were all Wiccan guides/deities, as he explained it to me. Lol they explained to me that I was to a 'natural witch' and that it was no coincidence that I met this new friend of mine. This was very exiting for both J (we shall call him) and myself. I felt wanted and appreciated. They told me more about magic and about themselves and a part of me was slightly anxious, because reading about 'ghosts' is one thing but actually communicating with them was completely new to me - therefore I did not really fully know what to make of this new experience. But, I would definitely say that I was leaning towards a bit of excitement at this new prospect of this entire new realm that I was now being given insight into.

The next day J phoned me and asked me if I enjoyed my visit. I told him that I did and that I have been thinking about everything that he had told me about his spirituality and the guides and that I really enjoyed 'how it all sounded' - one could say that it 'resonated' with me. I explained that the principles of Wicca made sense to me. He told me that after he dropped me at home he went back onto the Ouija board and asked the spirit guides what they thought of me and so forth, and they told him that if I wanted to join him and them, that they would be my guides as well. After he explained this to me I felt this particular energy rise up into my chest - which one could in a nut shell call 'belonging', fulfilment, 'acceptance' and dare I say 'empowerment'. Probably here for the first time in my life I was not afraid, I was not subject to a persons anger, or their sadness such as I grew up with around my father whom had adult depression.

I felt like I belonged and that I was being given an opportunity to be someone and to empower myself. This is after all what all human beings strive for - self empowerment, self acceptance and to do and be that which one enjoys. So of course I was very much drawn to this new possibility and of course it also meant that I could escape my life as it was at that stage. You have to understand, and I am sure you are able to relate if you look back at your 'teens' - all of us grow up thinking, hoping and believing that we will 'go' somewhere in life, make something of ourselves, maybe even marry 'the love of our lives' and maybe just maybe end up having enough money to live comfortable lives of joy and bliss! I wanted this as much as any other young person who had just left school - therefore, having spent the last year walking the streets looking for a job, being humiliated, worrying about my future and having a relationship with my mother (with whom I lived) which was deteriorating day by day as she pushed more for me to find a work and me becoming more and more withdrawn and agitated - this obviously, as you can imagine did not paint a very pretty picture. I was being faced with a life that was obviously heading very much into the opposite direction of what everyone hopes and believes they will attain once they leave school and enter into 'adulthood'...

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