This is a continuation from:
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-11-international-crime-research_13.html
Self-Forgiveness part 4:
Bipolar Disorder and Hyperactivity
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing backchat thoughts around excitement as a trigger point, through which I access and highten the energy within myself, to allow myself for a moment to experience greater levels of energy.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use hyper-activity as a means to encourage myself to move myself into action, to complete a task based around fear of survival – instead of moving myself without fears as backchat directing my every step.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the energy within myself to compound around procrastination, which then comes to a point days or weeks later where the compounded energy around guilt and regret manifests as the energy of hyper-activity, after which I crash back into the old pattern of procrastination, not caring and laziness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Hyperactivity as the original design to begin within children where we use energy to hype the child into a state of hyperactivity by pushing them through
trigger words linked to likes versus dislikes and fear – to become exited and hyperactive, instead of teaching our children to live practically in the physical, moving oneself here as the breath, treating all situations and places and people as equal, not valuing one situation or face more than another.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the adult to develop this pattern of hyperactivity within children by exiting them through words, pictures and behaviorisms and through this teaching the child to attach certain values to certain things in our world, which teaches the child that it is ok to ignore, disregard or abuse other things/people, because it does not give the same energetic feeling.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the above pattern to develop in our children, which has developed the consumer-child, as they learn to immediately attach values to everything they come across and to react energetically within judgment to people and things – while they consume the energy they experience from participating in consumerism – eventually requiring more and more to experience more energy.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the above pattern to exist in our children as we turn all things on this planet into consumer products for the energy experience we all desire as ‘heightened energy or states of hyper-activity – through which we have learnt to completely disregard what we have done and become and to place everything only according to brackets of energy consumption within ourselves, instead of its equal and one value as life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing children to become addicted to energy through which they then become hyperactive, as the ‘chemical substance’ that is used to control the consumer market into greater levels of addiction.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program the physical from childhood into chemical reactions, designed around pleasing others in an attempt to appease my mind, which from childhood was taught that in order for me to accept myself, others have to accept me – therefore within myself I developed Bipolar Disorder as I rush and push myself through backchat as I worry if ‘others like me.’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing children and adults to be brainwashed that food is good for you if it is sold in the shops and advertised on tv, with no investigation of the real effects that food sources have on the physical and how it directly compounds within the beings to eventually rewrite the beings into a chemically induced system that responds to words and pictures linked to the energy rush experience – thus making it easier for corporations to manipulate people through images and words linked to the energy experiences – previous programmed into the being from childhood.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of ‘hyperactivity’ within me as a state into which I possess myself when I try and manipulate myself into feeling ‘good’ about doing something, and to avoid the negatively associated feeling with what I am doing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing scientists to avoid the real issues behind why adults and children become hyperactive, and instead labeling the person, describing methods to deal with the symptoms and medication – while accumulating a nation of energy addicted beings, who will abuse all life on this planet, as we are currently doing and have always done for self interest and greed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not directly see what is happening to our children as they go through experiences of hyperactivity and instead of labeling it as ‘normal childhood phases’ to actually investigate the source and origin of the child’s behavior due to energy addictions and food, to find solutions to what we are doing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
encourage hyperactivity in children through encouraging such energetic and
sugar induced behavior, because I believe that hyperactivity is actually me
encouraging and allowing my child to ‘live fully and express themselves’.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I believe that to
encourage my child to express themselves fully, regardless of which behaviors
they are copying or acting out and what the real design is behind how the child
is behaving – allows me to feel more alive if I see a child running around and
laughing, playing, expressing – which means that even if the child’s behavior
goes into hyperactivity I still feel that the child is the manifestation of Life,
which I have somehow lost and am now living through the child.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
diminish within myself and within my expression, due to me believing that adults
must express themselves a certain way – thus forcing life as a fake behavior of
movements, and sounds and ideas into my children, who then become addicted to
energy as I watch in appreciation of what they are apparently living ‘for me’.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I believe that
children are apparently free and without worry – which means that children can get
away with any form of expression, regardless of the fact that most children these
days are developing ADD and ADHD and other behavioral problems – which is
directly showing me that how I am designing the expression of the child – has
become systematized and in the end manifests in some children as dysfunctions –
which then later manifests as adults who abuse themselves and life as they live
according to the designs of what the parents were really thinking when they
educated the child and encouraged the child in its expression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I use memories of my
past experiences where I either attached good values to my experiences or
negative values – either way I am filtering through to my child, my own fears,
and judgments about life and expression – thus turning my child into a copy of
myself as those aspects of myself that I am actually regretting, fearing,
wanting or the hidden parts of myself which I have denied, but which manifest
within my child as their DNA. Therefore the child in most cases manifests as a
‘little demon’ because it exists as the information I have not effectively
processed within myself or taken responsibility for but instead ‘suppressed’
within my mind – which now exists as the core information from which the child
is designed – leaving the child unable to understand or even direct their
experience – because they are not yet aware of how they are designed as the DNA
of the parents.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I allow my child to
manifest in DNA as a copy of the aspects of myself that I did not effectively
direct within what is best for all – and instead of taking self responsibility
for myself using the child as a mirror – to effectively support myself and the
child equally – I run and hide behind
more adult deceptions while professing to the child that he/she ‘must not do
what I do’, thus teaching the child that inner conflict is acceptable to fear
and hide from self responsibility – thus creating Bipolar disorder within the
child as I ‘train’ him/her to avoid certain experiences of the mind by shifting
yourself in the mind to more pleasant ‘happy/fulfilling’ experiences.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing science to exist behind a veil of deception, where they claim to be those who ‘understand how the mind works’ yet they cannot directly speak the truth of what we are doing to the children and ourselves.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing scientists to lie and deceive by lying about the causes of mental illness, because what they say is done in such a way, to protect the system and to protect capitalism, which I have realized, simply by being
self honest in my observation, but allow in anyway because I protect capitalism as well, do to a fear of death.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept what scientists say as they protect Capitalism, because I trust the Scientists and what they say as the ‘authority’ of how people function, without standing equal and one to who they are – as people stuck in the same fear of survival as I am – thus giving myself the opportunity to stop participating in the lie – and to see directly through what is being allowed – to speak up and stand as the solution and the voice to the solution.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Hyperactivity to exist as the manifestation of the design of myself as I have taken ‘activities’ – which are the basic practical points that require direction in our world for us to live – and sped them up to become more and faster – thus Hyper – so that more deeds can be performed each day by the slaves within capitalism to make sure that we get money for our actions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop and design Bipolar disorder through
generations of programming these behaviors into and as the mind as a life application which first exists as the personality of the being and then becomes the DNA of the being, to be passed down to the future generations, through mother and father together.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop and design Bipolar disorder through generations of programming these behaviors into and as the mind, due to my allowing the Fear of Self, and Fear of Survival, and to allow thought based patterns around which I go from seeking the experiences of elated moods and expansion to avoid the negative emotions and experiences – which becomes an energetic mind pattern which drives me through fear into hyper-activities, where I am always living according to this cycle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop and design Bipolar disorder through generations of programming these behaviors into and as the mind – through which I have participated in the points mentioned above which make up and construct my mind in its entirety, which then gets called my personality – which is then accepted by myself as it is accepted by other people – simply because ‘it is human nature’ or ‘
how god made me’ – which is how we as humanity allow ourselves to become dysfunctional and how over the generations we have designed and manifested Bipolar Disorder due to the previous generations and how we construct ours minds into a Pre-Programmed Design.
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A few
weeks ago I did a vlog about family dynamics and the how through using the
Desteni tools I have changed myself within my family dynamics or 'design': Day 177: Transforming Family
Dynamics: Sibling Relationships. This
morning I watched 2 movies - both them focussed around family dynamics and the
usual 'feel good American Drama'. You know the kind of movie where for an hour
and a half all you see is chaos, fighting, lying, betrayal and emotional
conflict and yet in the last 10 mins of the move they manage to leave the
viewer 'feeling' like 'everything will be 'alright' and like everyone in the
movie despite their despicable behaviours will be 'ok'. So - these 2 movies
were exactly like that, jam packed with intense emotional baggage and the usual
family bickering and drama and yet towards the end of both movies the directors
after all of that attempted to make me experience warm fuzzy feelings - because
together with the 'negative emotions' this is the full package of human
emotions -of what we experience on a day
to day basis.
leave you (2014).' Basically it is about a family who come together at the
dying wishes of the father. The father wants all of the children after his death
to stay together for a week and celebrate his death through some Jewish
ceremony where from what I understood everyone sits around in a room for a
week, eating and sharing stories about the father (don’t quote me I am simply
drawing from what I saw lol). From the
beginning as all of the children arrive - you notice one thing. That everyone
hates each others guts, have long standing issues with each other over past
mistakes and are in conflict with the mother because she is controlling and
walks around half the time with her silicone boobs popping out - which
obviously the children find 'unsuitable behaviour'. Each of the family members
are stuck in their own life drama, which intertwines with the conflict and drama
that exist within the family system. So you have layers of information around
people's personal lives and the drama that ensures as soon as these family
members are in the same room.
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