Day 139: The Paranormal Series Part 9 – The Enlightenment Being (part1)

Day 131: The Paranormal Series - Ghosts and Demons Part 1
Day 132: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 2
Day 133: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 3
Day 134: The Paranormal Series Part 4 - A Psychic’s Gate Keeper (part 1)
Day 135: The Paranormal Series Part 5 - A Psychic’s Gate Keeper (part 2)
Day 136: The Paranormal Series Part 6 – The being that died as Fear (part 1)
Day 137: The Paranormal Series Part 7 – The being that died as Fear (part 2)
Day 138: The Paranormal Series Part 8 – The being that died as Fear (part 3)
 
This blog is based on the following interview:
 

Journeys into the Afterlife - The Enlightenment Being

“ we were beings that had been ‘swiped’ within the swiping-containment area manifestation within the heaven existence, where your awareness of your very beingness would be completely supressed where you would simply be looking like this beingness-embodiment that was floating around aimlessly within this containment within the heaven existence. Our primary purpose was to lighten-up beings in the heavenly existence. We were programmed with a Dimensional Mind System with one program which was one word for example ‘Love’ or ‘Light’ or ‘Care’…”

 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as energy vibrations

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as energy vibrations and for not questioning why I would require a being to support me to in raising these energy frequencies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be defined according to an energy or a frequency, and thus I realise that my entire life, my existence here on earth or in heaven was simply based on frequencies managed and balanced by counter energies as polarities as I require the opposite polarity to my own experience such as anger, sadness, concern – for me to ‘raise’ my energy and thus change my mood to the opposite polarity

Within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to therefore design a world that functions according to these polarity infinity symbols, where consumerism functions according to understanding how the human exist as emotions and feeling systems – and thus I am a product of consumerism, because I live to raise/change my energy and experience the positive polarities, where within this world as one that is governed by survival through capital/profit as fake ‘self worth systems, abuses me as a energy system – for paper money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a being that enlightens others to never question why beings in in heaven would experience concern, sadness or any experience based on their past history as a human or based on what they as heavenly beings see and observe on earth or even in the heavenly dimensions.

therefore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to never question why it is necessary to ‘bestow’ them with gifts from god to allow them to experience themselves differently as the opposite polarity energy experience – where I never question why a god would bestow gifts of positivity onto beings after they have already gone through the negative polarity – which shows me that there is a problem – if I follow the time line of human experiences with what humans/animals/nature are enduring on earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to share the idea and knowledge that God is with us watching over us, when in fact this physical reality tells a very different story.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought to exist in me of ‘I must not give up hope’ as this is the ultimate enslavement statement, where I accept the state of our world, my inner experiences and what we are allowing to happen to each other,the animal kingdom and nature – where in that one statement I am saying that we don't need to change what is happening internally or externally – and that we must accept an apparent ‘god’s plan’ instead of taking responsibility for this world and ourselves as creators within it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as ‘enlightenment worker;’ to not realise that if I had to be given pockets of grace as energy to exist within me to use on other beings to assist them to experience ‘grace’, then this would imply that grace is separate from myself and from the other being and that as long as I had to exist as a heavenly being consisting of pockets of grace or love or peace to ‘bestow unto others’– that this would imply that our beigness as who we really are, are not consisting of these experiences as living words and would thus again draw my attention back to our design as the mind and the world systems and society – to see where and how have we separated ourselves from these words, where it is not natural for us to be these expressions all the time, due to environmental and life/mind influences.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to look deeper into the human mind and human societal world system experiences, to draw the time lines of how and when we created a world and inner experiences that separate us from living peace and grace and all of these words that these heavenly beings had to stand as, for us.

So -  I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to look at the money system, war, family, relationships, desire, needs, wants, poverty, corruption, conflict, self interest, etc – all of these human experiences that take one down a path of self creation that inevitably cause ourselves, each other and even the other inhabitants of this planet harm, as the human becomes consumed with our own internal battles around these emotions, feelings and thought patterns – which are all again based on the minds energy patterns and thus indicate that our own consequences of sadness, anger, irritation, possessiveness etc are all showing us that how we live and what we value as ‘human life’ is not really supporting us – because down the line, there has to exist heavenly en-light-enment beings that ‘bestow’ us with these experiences that have become separate from us and have been split into polarity designs within the mind, for example if I have money i feel happy, if I don't have money I am sad etc…

Day 69: International Crime Research: Serial Killers, Mass Murderers and Sociopaths Part 6

This blog is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-64-international-crime-research.html#

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-65-international-crime-research.html

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-66-international-crime-research.html#

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-67-international-crime-research.html

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-68-international-crime-research.html

Background info: if ave not been walking the Crimes Journey to Life blogs since the beginning - please read the following blog where I explain the how and why I walk this series as 'Crime's Journey to Life':

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/05/day-8-international-crime-research-bi.html

The Serial Killer Mind:
The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer

My Self-Forgiveness will be based on the main points taken from the following article:

The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer: Sexual Serial Homicide from a Neuropsychiatric Developmental Perspective

Fantasies and Imagination

"The role of sexualized fantasies appears to be important in JD’s development as a serial killer because from an early age he was already internally preoccupied with bodies and body parts and later with their sexual nature, a finding that is consistent with previous investigators who think that pervasive fantasy formation has a decisive role with sexual crimes by both adult and adolescent perpetrators. The advantage of the AD (Asperger’s disorder) paradigm lies in that it provides a better explanation regarding the origin of sexual fantasy as an antecedent in serial killing behavior, namely that intrinsically AD tends to promote isolation, resulting in a relative inability to test fantasy formation against the backdrop of the surrounding social world.This pervasive mental isolation may place some AD adolescents at significant risk for developing idiosyncratic and violent fantasies that, unchecked by external social controls, can lead to homicidal ideas and actions. The violent behaviors and other antisocial activities displayed by children with features of AD appear to be more closely related to their fantasy life than to adverse environmental circumstances.

The identification of AD as a decisive factor in the genesis of sexual serial homicide in the JD case may well represent a psychiatrically, criminologically, and biologically relevant paradigm of substantial heuristic and practical value because it may provide a unifying explanation of sexual serial killing behaviors that integrate neuropsychiatric, behavioral, and developmental levels of organization for at least a subset of sexual serial killers. Arguably, the foremost advantage of the proposed pervasive developmental disorder paradigm for serial sexual killing behavior is that it may provide a central insight into the specific psychological causes for serial killing in association with specific underlying neurobiological events.  

In contrast, most typologies for the causation of serial killing behavior strongly rely on sexual motives as well as a need by the perpetrator to control the victims. Egger addresses this issue when he states, “It may simply be (as the author is beginning to believe) that the serial killer’s search to gain control over his or her own life by violence and sex and to control and dominate others is the central and causal factor in the development of the serial killer”."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in a sexual-fantasy world, where what I participate in, with regards to sexual-interactions has nothing to do with reality, but merely exists as moments in time as pictures, programmed into my imagination, for my own personal use.

I commit myself to stop using fantasies, which take me away from my physical body and this physical existence, where 'I' am responsible for myself, as my words and deeds.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the excuse that 'my imagination is harmless' or 'my imagination exists within me therefore it cannot be wrong' - without ever stopping to consider that all parts of the external world already exists within me as my mind-reality - and this I am able to prove by noting down all thoughts I have had throughout my life and asking others to do the same, therefore

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be 'ok' with the external imagination reality, where we manifest into physical actions that which happens firstly within the mind of each human - where we have until now not realized and considered how the external happens because we as the human make it happen through speaking and acting out what happens firstly - 'in the mind'

Therefore I realize and forgive myself for accepting and allowing a fantasy reality to exist within me, where I get to live out the rapist, the abuser, the harmer, the angry one, the jealous one, the vengeful one etc - but judge others who take these same thoughts we as humanity have all given permission to, and live it into physical action.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in a world where I judge others who physically act out or speak out their fantasies, where I would rather have such a person cling onto immense self control by being like me - where I contain the fantasies in my mind without acting on it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create this inner demonic reality, where i know that in my thoughts I have told myself and 'spoken to others' about controlling our human urges and not acting on them - whereas I realize that this is deception, because it indicates that we are still the abusers, but do so through imagining the acts, which still allow us to experience the energetic release of 'performing the acts in our mind'

therefore,

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that whether I am physically acting out the fantasies or whether I am doing it in my mind -it is all about the energy that is generated as the act is fulfilled, where I feel that rush of energy move through my body, leaving me feeling 'satisfied.'

therefore

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny all this time, that I had been abusing others in my mind and for not even seeing that I was doing this, yet judging all along, those who get the energetic experience from doing it physically.

I commit myself to show how energy is the reason why we act physically and participate in thoughts and deeds - and that the starting point of participating in the internal conversations is and has always been about the experience of energy - therefore

I commit myself to show how the inner working of the mind merely exist as one aspect of this physically manifested reality - and is most certainly not separate from this physical reality - because all abuse that happens externally, in the world happens inside first - as a person first makes a decision before acting - therefore

I commit myself to show how the person who acts out their decisions are no different than the person who role plays the scenario in their mind - to in the end follow the scenario through to conclusion which is the energetic release or experience of the energy.

Therefore I commit myself to show that as a being who exists within a physical body within a mind - we are all, always subject to firstly thinking about what we want to do, which involves various 'dimensions' such as pictures, memories, internal conversations and motivations such as fear - then for those who are confident enough or find themselves 'pushed to the edge' within the mind where they becomes possessed within the energy build up - will find themselves acting on the above mentioned mind-aspects.

Therefore I commit myself to share how each are able to stop the abusive nature that the human has become, by clearing out the mind-clutter as systems of thinking that we have developed that grasp moments and turn them into full on battalions of mental action, where we survive against others and situation within the mind - based always on fears and desires - which is self-interest.

I commit myself, when as as I find myself building this scenario in my mind called thinking or back-chatting - to stop, breathe and realize I am now creating myself into and as an abuser and that the solution is always to look clearly at common sense, practical, self honest solutions to situations - that can be used by all, equally as it serves always what is best for all.

Day 68: International Crime Research: Serial Killers, Mass Murderers and Sociopaths Part 5

This blog is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-64-international-crime-research.html
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-65-international-crime-research.html
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-66-international-crime-research.html
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-67-international-crime-research.html



Background info: if ave not been walking the Crimes Journey to Life blogs since the beginning - please read the following blog where I explain the how and why I walk this series as 'Crime's Journey to Life':

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/05/day-8-international-crime-research-bi.html

The Serial Killer Mind:
The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer

My Self-Forgiveness will be based on the main points taken from the following article:


The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer: Sexual Serial Homicide from a Neuropsychiatric Developmental Perspective
http://libraryresources.cqu.edu.au/JFS/PDF/vol_47/iss_6/JFS2002051_476.pdf

"As an adolescent he made superficial contact with others but was viewed by his father and his peers as isolative and socially inept. As early as age four or five, JD did not appear interested in participating in activities emanating from his social environment.
By age 15 years, his father described him as a child who had rejected all efforts to develop interests in the world that his father attempted to introduce."


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as parent to not see, realize and understand that my children do not want to communicate and participate with other people, based on the same acceptances and value systems as I was trained to believe in.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that within my own childhood my parents trained me to repeat their belief systems, which were all based on Fear of themselves and Fear of the world, and to make it my belief systems, in an attempt to protect the values based on protecting self within the world, which is simplistically always been about protecting the Ego of the individual over the Ego of other individuals.

I commit myself to stop belief systems, and to direct myself here within my physical body, within my physical reality, according to principled living as I realize that the only way to stop this mess we have created, is for each to live what is practically supportive of ourselves within the consideration of the planet and those we share the planet with.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that due to us existing in a world where all communication is based on protecting the individual against other individuals, we are and have created communication and interactions, not based on self-honest self expression, but rather on manipulating and deceiving each other, to make sure that we are seen in a specific light by others usually as something more than what we really are, especially if one compare the inner experience to what we want others to beLIEve about us.

I commit myself to communicate clearly, without hidden innuendoes, desires or fears.
I commit myself to stop hiding behind my fears and desires and indadvertedly projecting my fears into the future and therefore changing how I dress, communicate and behave to try and prevent this future projected fear.
I commit myself to show how we are living to appease the fears of the mind, instead of living, and therefore i commit myself to show that the current world of communication is not clear and based on physical practicalities, but on the hidden realities within the Psyche.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the next generation, even though as a child i cringed at how my parents spoke to me and projected their fears and desires onto me, I still continue the human-legacy of manipulating the children into accepting the world as it is by accepting the way things have always been - as the religions, education systems, value systems and cultures we keep giving permission to, even though mathematically i can see that these institutions have never done what is best for all, but instead contributed towards dysfunctional family units, dysfunctional individuals and then dysfunctional societies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the current value systems that the individual hold onto are there 'for a good reason' and 'serve a purpose' - without actually looking for myself and being self honest, in realizing that no value system thus far, has resulted in a world that is best for all, and that our current value systems have only resulted in the abuse of each other in the name of protecting the human and 'individuality'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the ideology behind which religion, culture and value system exist, to be of such a great mind fuck to me, as I have been manipulated into believing in its greatness, that i continue to force my children to believe in these same ideologies, while seeing a world that is in chaos and a world where people are killing and hurting others simply for survival and for entertainment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the churches, schools and governments to continue brainwashing me - into believing that to prevail against the 'bad that happens in society' we have to 'cling' to the 'good' found within society, family and the entire concept behind the value found in 'living within the system' and accepting the role of humanity as we are -as god fearing people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as parent/caretaker of the future generations to implement within myself, the same coping mechanisms to life that my parents used and their parents used to try and control, suppress and manipulate human behavior and human thinking, instead of self honesty, self forgiveness and self responsibility of the individual throughout the preprogrammed designs that may come up - so that we become the directive principles - instead of the human being subject to our 'experiences' over which we believe we have no control - which leads to a society where we avoid self responsibility and implement instead values and rules according to which we 'must exist/function/communicate' - which only serve further to control through fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to view my child through this filter I have come to accept and to not see, realize and understand that I am asking of my child to simply copy behaviors that not even I understand as I have not understood how the quantum mind of the human designs all of our reactions, and coping mechanisms, which shows me that my responses to my world and other people are automated based on fears and conflicts which if I look at in self honesty - I would be able to see the exact moments that I lied in the presence of another and decided to present what was expected of me, instead of speaking what I really experienced in that moment.

Therefore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore the reality, we as humans are aware of - which is that we adjust the way we speak, behave and act - to 'fit into' how society and our parents want us to act - even though most of the time, we know we are only doing so to be accepted - and thus we create the next generation of lies, which we present as truth as human behavior.

I commit myself to share, how we as Desteni have come to understand how the quantum mind functions, based on the real moments where perceptions were programmed into the human psyche and how this becomes the behavior and words we express, which are not based on the reality of how we experience ourselves, which are based on what is really going on in reality - but based on survival.

Day 43: International Crime Research: Education Fraud Part 5 – the Recession and the Consumer Part 1

  

This is a follow up on: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/day-42-international-crime-research.html#

In this Blog - Self-Forgiveness on:

"RECESSION IN SIMPLE TERMS" Excerpt taken from: http://mmohsin.blogspot.com/  

"A recession is a prolonged period of time where a nation's economy is slowing down or as the economists usually put it contracting. This slow down is actually characterized by a number of different trends, some of those trends are:

 People buying less stuff

Decrease in factory production

Growing unemployment

Slump in personal income

An unhealthy stock market

 But just because the economy is slowing down or contracting that doesn't automatically mean that there is a recession going on. In fact according to the actual definition of a recession the slowdown in the economy actually has to last for at least six months or two consecutive quarters. But even though we have a definition of what a recession is and we understand what it means to be in a recession, this definition actually causes more questions than it actually answers. The reason for this is that even though we talk about the US economy or any economy as an independent entity, it is actually the result of millions of people's actions. And economists use all sorts of terms to describe the connection between people's actions and the economy as a whole. But even though they use all sorts of terms you can get the basic understanding of how people's actions are connected to the economy as a whole by looking at a few basic concepts. Those concepts are: producers, consumers, markets, supply and demand.

 Understanding producers and consumers
  To put it in simple terms a nation's economy is the production and consumption of goods (food, clothes, cars, etc) and services (repairs, haircuts, lawn care, etc) in that particular nation. And basically anybody who is producing or consuming the goods or services in that nation plays some kind of role in that nation's economy. What this boils down to is that a nation is dependent on both businesses and consumers; businesses produce the goods and services, while consumers actually purchase the goods or use the services.

 In fact this all boils down to the fact that production and consumption are intertwined, basically one cannot exist without the other. The reason for this is that in order for people to be able to consume things you actually need to have someone or something producing the things that the people are consuming. And in order to produce things you are going to need to consume things. A great example of needing to consume things in order to produce things is the fact that if you are producing clocks you are going to need to consume people's labor to make those clocks and you are going to be consuming natural resources when you are running the plant to produce those clocks." 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be driven by consumerism, in which I attach energetic values to objects, things and experiences, which I can buy to have specific inner experiences that bring me the illusion of happiness and fulfillment

I forgive myself as the capitalist and producer for accepting and allowing myself to play on this design of the Human, within the design of the Mind Consciousness System – in which I understand and know that the human as myself is addicted to energy and the experience of energy, and that as the producer and supplier of goods I am at the forefront of producing as much as the human wants to be able to fulfill the energetic need.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the consumer to ignore the direct and tacit consequences of the value I give to being able to freely consume as much of these products that happen to be produced in vast amounts, without questioning how these products are made and what happens within the world system if we produce to feed a energetic frenzy instead of using the earths resources to provide for our needs in a way that will not create an imbalance of resources and a problem in the way that capitalism expands its domain, whereby Capitalists will become more greedy and therefore want more money - using me as the consumer to fuel their pockets.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give permission to my human needs’ by proclaiming that ‘god made me so’ or ‘I just cannot help myself’ and through this admitting that not only will I keep giving into the brainwashing through the media to buy and consume endlessly, but I will also watch as the situation in the world gets worse – while using entertainment and money to divert my attention from the impending doom that I am creating for myself and my fellow humans.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the symbology used in religions and cultures of doom, evil and enslavement to our nature – to directly within understanding abdicate self responsibility to pictures, words in books and ideas – and agree that all other humans can design and develop their own unique lies found in books with pictures, to scare the mind – so that we may all undertake the great task of ignoring the obvious – as our consequences of what we have accepted and allowed thus far are accelerating and compounding each day now – as we see people killing each other, their families, lovers, friends and finding more excessive ways to act out the rage once we realize we have no way out and no body is going to give us what we desire to much in the mind. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to commercialize the reality of what we as humanity allow by placating the human mind in relation to the reality that we face – through the media and entertainment – where we show the actuality of what is happening but in such a way that the mind becomes accustomed to seeing it as a movie – where it is not real and ‘out there’ as it happens on the other side of the screen – to someone else in a dream like, fantasy-horror world.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see what is happening all over the world in the news, where people are loosing all their money, killing themselves and others in gruesome, macabre, in your face ways – but instead to continue to turn a blind eye while deliberately hiding from my fears behind more television, sport, sex and the distractions of happiness that money can buy.

Self-Commitment statements at the end of ‘The Recession and the Consumer’

Sources:

Mohammed, Mohsin. “Recession in Simple Terms.” [http://mmohsin.blogspot.com/].  Retrieved on: 10 September 2012.

“College Conspiracy.” Top Documentary Films. [http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/college-conspiracy/].  Retrieved on 10 September 2012.

Cool Quote for the day:

"Human Consciousness is influenced and shaped by the Fantasy-World of Movies and Television, which Stimulates Imagination and End-Up Creating many Characters in the MIND, that through constant FEEDING of Energy through Attention: will get a Life of its Own and eventually start Speaking and Influencing what a Person would describe as ‘Spiritual Contact’, through a Guide or a Master or a Dead Loved One. And here it is of Extreme Importance to Study the Quantum Mind and the Science of Thought – understand how Easy it is for the Mind to conjure up an Imaginary Friend, that seemingly will know Some Things, or make some Predictions – which sometimes will come true, or will have a ‘Feel-Good’ Image about it, very much like when one Buy something you like, that makes you feel better. Obviously in this – the Human trust Feeling, but the Science and Mathematics behind the Creation of a Feeling is in the World of the ‘Unknown’. In this, essentially – with Trusting ‘feeling’ and ‘experience’ of the Mind, without at all understanding the DETAIL of how it works, where it comes from, the Human have become subject to a Force that Automatically create/give/conjure up imagination in the Mind, and because the Mind and Energy is believed to be Real, Imagination is believed to be Real and so whatever the Mind conjure up/create/manifest is believed to be Real. Without realising the implications of the Imagination, of Energy on the actual Physical and how we can create an Complete alternate reality in the Mind through Imagination that is Not in Fact the REALITY of what is here in the Physical/Existence AT ALL."

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/day-152-after-death-communication-part-2.html

Day 35: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 19

This is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-34-international-crime-research.html



Please refer to: Day 24: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 8 for background information, on how and why I will be walking the characters of Criminals/Offenders.



To recap: the following blog is written from the perspective of familiarizing myself one and equal with the mind, character and personality of someone who watches/consumes child pornography. By walking equal to the mind of the user, I am able to draw from it, the contributing factors from the initial thought to the decision that is made to watch child pornography and how the mind is further fueled through backchat and behaviors, until in time, the characteristic is defined and directs the being into action, through an accumulation of memories, thoughts and experiences. What follows is specific self-forgiveness on the characteristics within the write-up.

“When I was offered a job in another city she cried and said that she could not leave her family, whom she was very close to -so we stayed. I became increasingly irritated with her from that point on and started seeing her for what she was – a weak minded girl who was to afraid to be away from her family even though she was now married. My resentment turned into spitefulness – she wanted to try for a baby – and I said ‘ I was not ready’. This went of for two more years as I continued to lie about why we could not yet have a baby – she was suffocating me by restricting my choices in life I would do the same to her. We started fighting about everything – money, family, friends, babies, and careers – eventually we both acted from spitefulness whenever we had a chance. I noticed in our arguments that her family must have been fueling her resentment towards me for not ‘being ready’ to have a baby – as she would let slip ‘well you know my sister thinks that…’ This fueled my resentment as I made a decision one day to just ‘ignore the bitch’.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design a relationship, which becomes about conflict, resentment and blame.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take self-responsibility for who I had become in relation to my relationship and what I was accepting and allowing to unfold within myself and the relationship.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize my self responsibility on how to walk through these points, what to apply within myself and when to stop the relationship as soon as both beings accepted ourselves as the results of the relationship, instead of remaining directive.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stop my participation in blaming, resentment and conflict – where instead of stopping the game this relationship had become – I gave my power away to the entire concept of ‘staying together for the sake of relationships’ – and therefore compounding the anger and resentment into a possession.

“We started leading separate lives – she spent most of her time with her family and I spent all my time on the Internet surfing gaming sites and utilizing porn as a substitute for my wife. I would use porn extensively to masturbate while Lucinda was visiting her family. Sex obviously became a massive problem – as I knew that she was trying for a baby and I did not want to start a family with this woman. I worked in a dead end job for a basic salary, where as all the jobs I could apply for, I could not, as I knew she would not be willing to move away. Each time we discussed potential job opportunities she would start crying about me not loving her and her sick father needing her and blah, blah, blah…”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deliberately become resentful in my words and actions, due to how I was experiencing myself within the relationship.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a picture in my mind of how I hated my partner or how immature I saw her/him, and from this used thoughts to fuel my anger – where I would find ways of acting out against her and the relationship.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to these thoughts through anger, spite, rage, resentment, until I experienced a physical reaction as I started changing me in my behavior, the way I talked, walked and physically carried myself when around the other person and when thinking of the person – therefore locking into my physical body this pattern consisting of the original picture, the backchat thoughts and reactions.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use pornography as a means (after thinking about it) of excluding my wife and being spiteful by masturbating to pictures of other woman.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to through the picture I held of blaming my wife to the thoughts around wanting to spite her, to use hard porn as a means of satisfying this new need to hurt others and to derive pleasure from feeling sexually gratified through seeing sexual submission, control and pain.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop this pattern as character of ‘hard porn’ watcher as I accumulated all my backchat and the energy I experienced from this pattern into and as the experience of watching this porn, as it became the only way I could experience revenge towards my partner and woman in general.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to watch illegal porn due to my belief (during the thought creation phase) that I was in control of what and who I could harm or enjoy in my masturbation fantasies – as a means of striking out at the world and my partner, whom I blamed for my inner experience and character.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to watch child porn because I gave up within myself and blamed the ‘lack of morality’ of another as to why I will now ‘punish others/the world’ by being ‘immoral’ and acting in ways that I knew would harm others or the morality of others and through this morality game ensure that I become the powerful one by showing all through my secret acts that I am powerful/in control.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide behind these multiple layers as my reactions to experiences in my life, and through this layering of thoughts, backchat conversations and decisions I made, to make a decision directed by my possession – to find sexual gratification in watching child pornography.



I now see, realize and understand that the decision to watch child pornography had many hidden dimensions to it, all accumulated decisions which fueled further decisions into who I became as child molester – as a character in which I in the end, ultimately used for self-importance, self-gratification, self-empowerment and through many, many dimensions ultimately concocted the belief and idea within myself to achieve sexual gratification as I had labeled it within my Psyche to ‘sex with the young/minors/the innocent/children’.



I commit myself to show tat as we design ourselves as conditions, characters, personalities, offenders – all ways of being as humans – there are solutions to understanding the multidimensional aspects by getting to know oneself and your past.



I commit myself to walk the path of self-forgiveness as I have seen how this has supported me through experiences I ‘thought’ I could never change – and through walking self forgiveness as a solution for what I faced I have proven that it is a solution to for all. Obviously within this we are to take into consideration the entire design of the being, and from there assess how to best support the individual. In an Equal Money System for example, we will not be limited by money to be able to present solutions based on effective clear research. In an Equal Money System, we will effectively get to the bottom of the human and how we have programmed ourselves as there will be no limitation financially or politically to what we can do and that will influence the outcome.


Further Support: Freedom Blogs:

The birth of Practivism - Volume 1

Freedom Blogs - The Birth of Practivism - Volume 2

Freedom Blogs - The Birth of Practivism - Volume 3

Day 28: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 12

The Secret Mind of the Pedophile continued:

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-27-international-crime-research.html 

In Day 26: Part 10, Self-Forgiveness was applied on the existence and allowance of the Secret Mind. Now I will apply Self-Forgiveness on the Thoughts, pictures and Memories existent within the secret and conscious mind – of this particular pedophile character (taken from Day 26 – Child pornography Part 10)

“I identified within myself – that a part of me was seeing the child’s body symbolically – as if seeing the shape of their bodies and the innocence they represented, triggered an interest within me, which was channeled by me into sexual pleasure.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate the picture of a child with innocence and youth.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to access the memory of myself as a child being happy, carefree and innocent – from which I connect these reactions I experience in response to the activation of the memory – to connect to how I experience myself now – whereby I look for ways in my mind to reconnect to happier times in my life to experience myself differently now.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define happiness as moments of free will in which one gets to do what you want, when you want – just like I remember myself being as a child.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect joyfulness to the image of a child – in which I sit sometimes and allow thoughts to surface from my childhood when I still experienced joy – whereby I pull myself into the dimension of that memory and its experiences as for a moment I allow myself to ‘zone out’ of this reality into the mind reality of my memory – and allow myself to ‘feel joy’.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to access all sorts of memories from my childhood in which I imprinted in those memories all the feelings and emotions and behaviors – for me to access ‘later’ in my life.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to daydream, in which I allow myself to go to ‘better times’ whereby I attempt to avoid my current life situation and experience of myself



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use memories to shift myself out of one character or dimension into another dimension, so that I do not have to take self responsibility for the fact that I am generating experiences for myself in my reality which do not serve me and are not what is best for all.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use childhood memories as a safety net, into which I fall almost like a cloud of haziness where I will change myself into a softer gentler person seeking pleasure from innocence and from joyful beings around me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use dark, depressive memories from my childhood to invoke fear – through which I often will access these memories as a feedback loop back into my mind where I will generate energy of ‘the negative kind’ – after which I will cringe at my own depressive mood I have accessed – after which I will access habits and patterns which allow me to feel better.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as pedophile to use pleasant memories around my childhood as a reference point from which I touch myself and experience the joy of orgasm linked to the memories of my childhood – which in fact exists as me participating in the molestation of children – whereby I am not seeing that the reason behind my actions and decisions are systematic programmed moments I allow now due to the value I have given memories.



If the memory connections are based in Fear-based childhood moments:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to draw upon my childhood disappointments and fears in which I polarize myself into pain and fear after which I will seek pleasure and joy through various methods which hold the key to entertainment such as ‘risk factors’ and ‘being in control of society’ – such as in the case of the backchat of the pedophile who will draw upon risk and fear and cycle it back into reward – and the reward system being activated through sex and masturbation as the value we as society as the human have placed upon the power and exaltation felt during orgasm.



I commit myself to live here in every moment as if time stands still and I experience every moment afresh – thus not accepting and allowing myself to draw upon memories –which is how we draw upon the value systems given to moments linked into the secret mind of the character reality of self – which functions according to energy and becoming more powerful as the Mind for the being to overcome others and the environment within which one exists.



I commit myself to show how memories are in fact not ‘special’ and that memories are the foundation from which all abuse to life happens – because memories contain all previous moments as imprinted information, which together creates a dimension – where one accesses the ‘information’ and responds to ones present moment as a duplicate of the past moments. Therefore Abuse if only possible if we want something to be more like something else because we cannot Live unconditionally here In the physical according to self honesty and common sense practical living –and have come to use memories to define who we have to be in every moment based on survival of the fittest.



And due to the fact that we have already created so much abuse in the world, we now grow up learning to fear others and to fear the world, without any practical solutions on how to stop the inner battles through which we repeat the abuse, due to the fear of being abused.



Therefore I commit myself to show – how it is possible for all to stop living in Fear, by establishing and showing that there are ways to let go of the design of the human as a survivor – and to show that it is possible for us all to live together equally in harmony with the physical – as the living manifestation of what is best for all. To do this though we have to change what and who we have become as the layers of information we have manifested ourselves as, as our DNA and living selves – and to then clear out the world systems that supported survival of the fittest – to give to each an opportunity to live and breathe without it being about fear and gain and risk.



Artwork by: Andrew Gable

http://www.facebook.com/andrewgableartist

Day 17: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 1

The following excerpts which I have used, as a research basis from which to walk the point of Self-Forgiveness, is taken from:


http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/



Please note that I am not disputing or validating the research findings or opinions of the author(s), researchers or website developers. I am taking the research presented on Crime related topics and using it as a platform from which to support myself through self-forgiveness, to stop the patterns existent within myself, through which myself and humanity have given permission to and designed ‘Crime’ as it exists today. I will also indicate within my self-forgiveness statements the connection between how we as humanity have stopped honoring life and have allowed the existing system and the existence of crime as an outflow of the abuse of life and the fear of survival (money).



This paper was prepared as a working document for the World Congress against Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children by Margaret A Healy for ECPAT.

THE DEFINITION OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY

“Child pornography is a problem of international proportion. The global community has recognized that children are at risk from those who engage in the production, exhibition, distribution, and consumption of child pornography and that children can suffer serious negative effects as a result of pornographic exploitation. The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child ("UNCRC"), which has been ratified by an overwhelming majority of the nations of the world, identifies child pornography as a violation against children and requires that nations who are parties to the convention take measures to prevent the exploitative use of children in pornographic materials. Despite the notable efforts of many nations, child pornography remains a serious issue.”

CHALLENGES TO THE STUDY OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY

“Challenges to any study of international child pornography include: 1) the lack of any uniform definition of what child pornography entails; 2) lack of data regarding the production and distribution of child pornography in many parts of the world, particularly Africa and Latin America; and 3) shifting global patterns of production and consumption of child pornography.


Furthermore, the development of home video equipment and computer technology has revolutionized the international production and distribution of child pornography. Rapidly expanding international access to increasingly inexpensive technology has transformed child pornography into a sophisticated cottage industry. Computer alteration of images and the potential for creating computer generated pornography pose formidable challenges for courts and law enforcement officials throughout the world.”





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the production, exhibition, distribution, and consumption of child pornography.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stand by and watch as people produce, exhibit, distribute and consume child pornography, while still insisting that our governments do what is best for all and have the ability to govern a country according to ‘what is best for all.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing child pornography to exist, especially regarding the vastness of the problem, while at the same time claiming that religions have any say in this world and that God takes care of humanity.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support governments, who have the power to stop child pornography if that is what they wanted to do, and instead of doing so they proclaim that there are obstacles to them stopping child pornography, which only means that they ALLOW child pornography to exist, because of it’s profit value.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, understand and realize that pornography exists and continues to be allowed in this world because it forms part of the current economic system and this is the only reason why politicians and law enforcements claim to want to ‘do something about it’ – bit internationally and collectively do nothing about it.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing child pornography to exist in a world where governments are supposedly, collectively at all times as the principle from which they function, suppose to stop child pornography as they absolutely have the power and ability to do so, but choose to use child pornography for profit, while lying to the faces of the public that ‘the problem is beyond their control’.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the public to stand by and watch as the governments lie to protect capitalism, which is what they are protecting when they claim to not be able to stop child pornography.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a member of the public to choose each and every day to allow child pornography to continue, each time I validate the existence of the current capitalistic system as well as the current societal value systems, religions and governments. I realize that even though it appears as if these ‘entities’ exist for the betterment of man – why is it then that they have no say actually in doing what requires to be done to bring about a world that is best for all?



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse individuality, human rights and freedom of speech - where I have placed all of those principles as my rights above the rights of the beings that are abused in the world – where I insist that I want to keep my freedom of expression, thus allowing child pornography to go unchanged on the internet under the banner of ‘individual freedom’.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself and others to abuse the term ‘freedom of the individual’, while not realizing that for us to stop child pornography we have to firstly take self responsibility for ourselves and then take responsibility for those who are not self responsible and harming life – by doing whatever is necessary to stop the abuse – even if it means for a while clamping down on groups that abuse life on the internet and closing them down – utilising the principle of ‘my rights and freedom do not impede on the rights and freedom of another.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing society to continue abusing Life, under the lie that ‘we cannot stop people from doing what they are doing because that would infringe on people’s rights to freedom of expression.’



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rather appease the rights of humans to express themselves, than realize that this freedom is used to abuse the freedom of others, and that this atrocity is protected in the name of money – by all who protect the right to abuse – which is currently what it means to have a right to express freely.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the ‘nations who are parties to the convention that should take measures to prevent the exploitative use of children in pornographic materials” only serves as a basic minimum requirement to keep the public satisfied so that politicians and those in power may continue to have an influence on the public and to remain in power.





I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that if I allow officials, politicians and those with ‘power’ to continue only doing the basic minimum requirements to prevent and stop pornography – while my vote makes a difference (and then all individuals collectively vote for change) – then I am responsible for the continuation of child pornography – as I am the one that agreed to governments and politics and and I am the one who’s support they require to keep deceiving people.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in governments and politician, while before my eyes I see, realize and understand using basic common sense, that they DO NOT use their power and resources to establish a world that is best for all – but instead they protect and maintain capitalism – by allowing such atrocities such as child pornography. At the same time politicians and leaders will support religion because they realize and understand that this is how one keeps the masses dulled through the possession of the god-spirit as the invincible force that keeps people feeling that all is ok – in a world of absolute abuse, while also maintaining that god’s plan includes this abuse so that humans can ‘learn’. This level of brainwashing is used by politicians to keep humans dumb and for humans to think and believe that firstly there must be someone who will eventually come down and save us and that as part of gods bigger plan, surely the politicians who were chosen by man to rule man – are doing what is best for all. Therefore:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be brainwashed by politicians through pictures on tv and religious symbols and words, to keep me docile and hoping that there is a bigger reason behind why children are molested for profit.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to keep professing that some form of religion explains to me why child pornography is acceptable or why it is beyond my understanding or why I should separate myself from it through religious and spiritual practices like prayer, services and going to church.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, understand and realize that unless I change the current economic system, instead of myself supporting its survival despite the evidence of the abuse that is being allowed in the name of profit and greed – that the governments, politicians and nation leaders – WILL NOT stop child pornography because it serves as income and profit for so many – who within the Capitalistic system are now dependent on the money for survival.



Self-Commitment Statements:



I commit myself to show that profit driven greed is the motivation behind why corruption exists within politics and why this has become the reason behind why all governments pretend to not have the ability to stop child pornography



I commit myself to show that the human has become dulled and numb to the existence of child pornography, due to the fact that we believe we are incapable of changing the system and due to the fact that people fear loosing their freedom of expression, which is the breeding ground for self dishonesty, if freedom of expression is curbed or questioned for those who abuse life.



I commit myself to show that the money system exists purely based on the greed of the individual and that is why child pornography continues to be allowed- because people know that is they want to stop child pornography – they will have to change the contributing factors to it which is greed – which means changing how we all value and participate in the money system.



I commit myself to show how the human has become brainwashed in all ways – and that child pornography will continue to be allowed while the human professes godly love and human values – although the evidence clearly shows that there is an immense problems with how we value lifee and how we carry on accepting abuse in our world.



I commit myself to show that a new economic system is required, one that honors life and will by principle stop child abuse as it will stop greed motivated actions and will hold all beings responsible for the decisions that are made – as will commit to living in self responsibility and self honesty as what is best for all.







Source:



Margarat, H. (2004, August 2). Child pornography: an international perspective. Computer Crime Research Center. Retrieved 21 June 2012 from http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/
Furthermore, the development of home video equipment and computer technology has revolutionized the international production and distribution of child pornography. Rapidly expanding international access to increasingly inexpensive technology has transformed child pornography into a sophisticated cottage industry. Computer alteration of images and the potential for creating computer generated pornography pose formidable challenges for courts and law enforcement officials throughout the world.”

What is Sex - Physical Intimacy between partners - Part 24

How Energy and Money benefit from Physical separation


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Day 14: International Crime Research - Bi-Polar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 7

This is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-13-international-crime-research-bi.html#

Self-Forgiveness part 5

Bipolar Disorder and Substance Abuse

Please refer to: Day9: International Crime research - Bi-Polar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 2 for background information on Substance Abuse as primary cause for Violent Behavior in people diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use alcohol and drugs as a means of suppressing my mind.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use drugs and alcohol as a means of encouragement – through which I allow myself to express those parts of myself that are usually suppressed and hidden.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse substances due to my fear of taking self responsibility for this world that I have created, and for the consequences of the action that I have taken due to my inability to act responsibility within common sense self expression.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse substance in an effort to improve my status within society, by appearing to be something other than my usual self, whom I have come to either despise, fear of judge and which I have to hide in the presence of my peers, thus presenting a separate me to please society, family and friends.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse substances, through which I separate myself into two separate beings, the one that comes out while using the substance as the personality I judge as the fun or adventurous one, instead of realizing the contradiction and the schizophrenic nature of my thinking, where most in society willingly participate in this splitting of themselves – while refusing to admit that is indicative of schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this splitting of my mind into multiple personalities and as society accepting and supporting this splitting of the mind into various personalities through the use of substances.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be embarrassed or regretful of my personalities when I am sober.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to have a new life and therefore using substances to give myself an experience within my mind, so that for a few hours I can forget about my life and ‘feel’ like I have a different life or set of rules according to which I function.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge experiences according to good/ bad and valuable/less valuable, through which I create an acceptance of trying to avoid certain experiences in life, causing me through backchat to desire different life experiences, which encourages and creates a society of substance dependent junkies.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that what we are actually doing in society is to allow ourselves and each other to become addicted to the use of substances, while refusing to realize in self honesty that we are in actuality hiding from our true selves as the mind, while proclaiming to be more than what we are.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing religion and culture to condone substance use through images of wine and the blood of Christ – to consensually as society together agree to the abuse of substance as a n agreeable method of avoiding this reality and creating image of god realities in our minds where we think we are the greatest thing to ever walk this earth.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage children to use substances to further their delusions of what it means to be human, by attaching images like sex. Fame, richness and coolness to the use of substances through the media, while pretending and claiming that I have no say in how children are influenced.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the media to brainwash me into using substance, due to the use of images and symbols linked to substance use such as coolness, sex, influence, power, money, good times, happiness – instead of realizing that this indicates my existence as a chemically induced robot – stuck in my mind of fake realities.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing substance abuse to be an acceptable form of socializing, in which I will frown upon anybody who suggests socializing without substance use and victimize the person through peer pressure until they succumb to the same mind illusions I have around socializing and substance use.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use substances, to avoid my life and to avoid this reality, instead of changing this reality to what is best for all so that I do not have to continue abusing the physical and myself through substance use.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing substance use to exist in a reality where we give permission to immense abuse and suffering, while the majority are using substances to avoid the reality we have all give permission to.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘act out’ while using a substance and then after I have hurt another I claim that it was the substance that did it and not me – not realizing and taking responsibility for the fact that it was me and that all the substance did was allow me to express that part of me that is usually hidden.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be trapped within my mind, within patterns and behavior such as depression, elated moods and irritability, for which I then use substance to suppress or heighten the experiences – which are already in separation from myself.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use substance as a justification for wanting to have more fun in life, not realizing that in doing this I am subject to a substance to provide me with self-direction – while at the same time allowing me to lie about how I really experience this world – which in effect allows me to abuse the reality I reject even more, while avoiding the consequences through substance use.