Previous Blogs in this series:
|Artwork by: https://www.facebook.com/rozelle.delange|
"Next blog: walking an example of Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all"
Years ago I came the realization that pornography is an abusive practice which has many consequential outflows for all of society and the individual - and that most of these consequences are not considered by humanity, due to us firstly allowing ourselves to be addicted to sex, masturbation and relationships/marriage, and therefore on a societal level, pornography might cause eyes to role and the occasional smirk, but it is never really directed, because most participate in some form of sexual addiction, be it on the internet or in your own relationship-dynamics.
Secondly, as I mentioned in a previous blog - due to this secretive allowance of sexual addictions (and most additions for that mater) we tend to not bother to walk the time lines of consequences that have played out and continue to manifest in the lives of individuals and the impact on society since the start/invention and the 'evolution' of pornography and sexuality into what it is today. So looking at all the dimensions of sex and sex addiction, I realize for myself that what existed as the pieces of the puzzle which made up the human psychological dimensions of sex addiction, existed in myself as well. Therefore, I could completely relate to my own experience of addiction to sex energy and all of the dimensions linked to personal values and the ideas behind what it means to be a ''woman. So how could I continue to 'judge' or 'condemn' or want pornography and sex abuse to be stopped, if I myself also existed within the same mind-systems as any other person who would participate in sex and sexual abuse.
This is where I started peeling the layers of my own mind with regards to 'addiction' and specifically for this example the addiction both to 'the desire for relationship' as well as the addiction to masturbation. Now what I am walking here is not in-depth - meaning how we have structured our understanding of 'how the mind works' - is done in course form and in interviews, therefore what I share here are more basic overviews and insights into the process of understanding and self change that I have walked thus far. So, when realized that for the world to change I have to change, I could therefore not say no to challenging my own pre-designs with regards to who I had become as my thoughts, words and deeds.
Therefore in this example around sexuality, I peeled the layers of how I currently viewed and experienced sex and masturbation. I found there were many layers to my experiences - therefore I took one experience at a time and walked the creational time lines of how it started - the years and moments in my youth, where experiences around sex and masturbation - were taken in by my mind and together with other pre-programmed mind systems, turned into my specific character and personalities around sexuality. For example what I noticed as I walked backwards in time was that like most people I grew up developing conflicted, morality views on sexuality. From there I had experiences like most people that involved boys, and what contributed to my sexual development were the specific mind experiences which all eventually for each individual fit together like puzzle pieces to one day down the line (the 'now') combine and become a pre-programmed design which in specific moments when faced with for example sexuality will literally 'come up' from the back of the mind as thoughts, which lead to emotional experiences and reactions, which influence ones behaviour, combined with the energy that moves through the physical especially around the sexual organs. This we then perceive as 'natural responses' or 'who we are' or our 'god given designs' - however we don’t see that most of our experiences are programmed into us from firstly the experiences and life time fears and belief systems passed down in our DNA from our parents, and secondly as I mentioned previously from moments of experiences we have as we grow up - where the mind creates itself from quantum moments.
So to cut a long story short - I was able to then after writing out the 'how' my sexual ideals, desires and addictions were created -apply self forgives on the various dimensions of the design - which as I started above is to much to go into now, so I will simply stick to how this allowed me to change from sexual addiction to sexual self expression. Which means that I worked with removing all the layers that made up my sexuality to get back to a purified me within sexuality, where I was not being moved by memories or societal ideas or fears etc, to get to a point where my thoughts about sexuality were not based on anything other then me here in physical self expression. The same then for my deeds - where I through removing these layers by applying the self forgiveness, stopped the movement of sex-energy which would drive and manipulate me towards looking for a partner and words, where I no longer participated in sex talk with my partner, as I realized that was part of the energy-matrix design where one 'builds up energy' which is connected to the secret mind where we store all our nasty imagery and symbols about sex, which largely comes from (and this is an example of what I referred to above about influences and moments from the past that make up your design of who you are now) - pornography, movies, television etc…