Day 118: Capitalism Part 6: Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Statements on Blame and Self-Responsibility within Capitalism

This blog is a follow up on:

Day 115: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Capitalism Part 3: Death in the work place - am I ready to take Responsibility?

Day 116: Capitalism Part 4: Identifying the reason why we do not acknowledge the problems within Capitalism

Day 117: Capitalism Part 5: Self-Forgiveness on Blame and Self-Responsibility within Capitalism

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear placing myself in the shoes of another person or animal that has to die as a commodity within capitalism, a being who's plot in life I have ascribes as being nothing, worthless, less than me - therefore creating and systematizing a belief and a structural system called the Economy and Society - where I have allowed such suffering and abuse in the name of Money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to know and understand that I am unwilling to place myself in the shows of another, not only because I understand the sacrifice and pain that the being is placed into, but also I realize that the consequences are actually very real for that being - the pain is very real, the loss would be the same for me - however in my mind I have already decided that it is alright for others to endure that suffering - as long as it is not me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to therefore allow Capitalism to function and evolve on the suffering of billions each day so that the rest of us may buy into the happiness polarity - instead of realizing that it is possible for all to have equal happiness and equal opportunity - just like I would like to have for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ascribe joy and fulfillment to the lives of those who are lucky enough like myself - and to allow the thinking that 'bad things happen to other people' - not realizing that in my thinking process I have condemned and continue to condemn billions of beings to a live of torture and pain - not realizing that this is the true value I have ascribes to myself - this is who I am - and that if there were to be a god or a jesus or a higher consciousness looking at me as who I am - then obvious in common sense then they would realize that the product of what I have given direct permission to even though through indirect words and my vote and by not speaking up - it is still my legacy - that which exists within me which I have allowed to become the fate for others.

when and as I find myself believing that my outer reality somehow manifested itself separately from me actually over time giving permission to and agreeing with the principles of how capitalism functions - I stop, and I allow myself to through breathing come back here to the reality of self honesty of who I really have become

within this I realize that I am not infact this life form that abuses others to have a gain and more favorable outcome in life

therefore I commit myself to when I in anyway justify why it is ok for abuse to happen in this world -  to serve my existence - I stop I breathe and let go of this self created self righteous illusion - which I have allowed myself to be brainwashed within.

when and as I find myself going in to fear of change, fear of responsibility towards my outer reality as a reflection of my inner world and fear of changing my inner reality - I stop, I breathe and realize that the energetic reaction of fear is only that - a pre-programmed response to anything new, any challenge to my pre-conceived ideas - my 'personalities' ' that I am in fact limited by this definition of myself as nothing, worthless, an abuser, and someone who sits by and waits for death while clinging to hope that pain ans suffering will not happen to me or my family - instead of realizing that the key to changing the outcome to what is best for all - is in fact and has always been us - myself, all who have a voice, have access to the internet and are able to communicate verbally or on paper the living word as what is best for all.

To assist Self to change the inner reality - join our free online course:

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

Day 69: International Crime Research: Serial Killers, Mass Murderers and Sociopaths Part 6

This blog is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-64-international-crime-research.html#

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-65-international-crime-research.html

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-66-international-crime-research.html#

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-67-international-crime-research.html

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-68-international-crime-research.html

Background info: if ave not been walking the Crimes Journey to Life blogs since the beginning - please read the following blog where I explain the how and why I walk this series as 'Crime's Journey to Life':

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/05/day-8-international-crime-research-bi.html

The Serial Killer Mind:
The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer

My Self-Forgiveness will be based on the main points taken from the following article:

The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer: Sexual Serial Homicide from a Neuropsychiatric Developmental Perspective

Fantasies and Imagination

"The role of sexualized fantasies appears to be important in JD’s development as a serial killer because from an early age he was already internally preoccupied with bodies and body parts and later with their sexual nature, a finding that is consistent with previous investigators who think that pervasive fantasy formation has a decisive role with sexual crimes by both adult and adolescent perpetrators. The advantage of the AD (Asperger’s disorder) paradigm lies in that it provides a better explanation regarding the origin of sexual fantasy as an antecedent in serial killing behavior, namely that intrinsically AD tends to promote isolation, resulting in a relative inability to test fantasy formation against the backdrop of the surrounding social world.This pervasive mental isolation may place some AD adolescents at significant risk for developing idiosyncratic and violent fantasies that, unchecked by external social controls, can lead to homicidal ideas and actions. The violent behaviors and other antisocial activities displayed by children with features of AD appear to be more closely related to their fantasy life than to adverse environmental circumstances.

The identification of AD as a decisive factor in the genesis of sexual serial homicide in the JD case may well represent a psychiatrically, criminologically, and biologically relevant paradigm of substantial heuristic and practical value because it may provide a unifying explanation of sexual serial killing behaviors that integrate neuropsychiatric, behavioral, and developmental levels of organization for at least a subset of sexual serial killers. Arguably, the foremost advantage of the proposed pervasive developmental disorder paradigm for serial sexual killing behavior is that it may provide a central insight into the specific psychological causes for serial killing in association with specific underlying neurobiological events.  

In contrast, most typologies for the causation of serial killing behavior strongly rely on sexual motives as well as a need by the perpetrator to control the victims. Egger addresses this issue when he states, “It may simply be (as the author is beginning to believe) that the serial killer’s search to gain control over his or her own life by violence and sex and to control and dominate others is the central and causal factor in the development of the serial killer”."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in a sexual-fantasy world, where what I participate in, with regards to sexual-interactions has nothing to do with reality, but merely exists as moments in time as pictures, programmed into my imagination, for my own personal use.

I commit myself to stop using fantasies, which take me away from my physical body and this physical existence, where 'I' am responsible for myself, as my words and deeds.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the excuse that 'my imagination is harmless' or 'my imagination exists within me therefore it cannot be wrong' - without ever stopping to consider that all parts of the external world already exists within me as my mind-reality - and this I am able to prove by noting down all thoughts I have had throughout my life and asking others to do the same, therefore

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be 'ok' with the external imagination reality, where we manifest into physical actions that which happens firstly within the mind of each human - where we have until now not realized and considered how the external happens because we as the human make it happen through speaking and acting out what happens firstly - 'in the mind'

Therefore I realize and forgive myself for accepting and allowing a fantasy reality to exist within me, where I get to live out the rapist, the abuser, the harmer, the angry one, the jealous one, the vengeful one etc - but judge others who take these same thoughts we as humanity have all given permission to, and live it into physical action.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in a world where I judge others who physically act out or speak out their fantasies, where I would rather have such a person cling onto immense self control by being like me - where I contain the fantasies in my mind without acting on it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create this inner demonic reality, where i know that in my thoughts I have told myself and 'spoken to others' about controlling our human urges and not acting on them - whereas I realize that this is deception, because it indicates that we are still the abusers, but do so through imagining the acts, which still allow us to experience the energetic release of 'performing the acts in our mind'

therefore,

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that whether I am physically acting out the fantasies or whether I am doing it in my mind -it is all about the energy that is generated as the act is fulfilled, where I feel that rush of energy move through my body, leaving me feeling 'satisfied.'

therefore

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny all this time, that I had been abusing others in my mind and for not even seeing that I was doing this, yet judging all along, those who get the energetic experience from doing it physically.

I commit myself to show how energy is the reason why we act physically and participate in thoughts and deeds - and that the starting point of participating in the internal conversations is and has always been about the experience of energy - therefore

I commit myself to show how the inner working of the mind merely exist as one aspect of this physically manifested reality - and is most certainly not separate from this physical reality - because all abuse that happens externally, in the world happens inside first - as a person first makes a decision before acting - therefore

I commit myself to show how the person who acts out their decisions are no different than the person who role plays the scenario in their mind - to in the end follow the scenario through to conclusion which is the energetic release or experience of the energy.

Therefore I commit myself to show that as a being who exists within a physical body within a mind - we are all, always subject to firstly thinking about what we want to do, which involves various 'dimensions' such as pictures, memories, internal conversations and motivations such as fear - then for those who are confident enough or find themselves 'pushed to the edge' within the mind where they becomes possessed within the energy build up - will find themselves acting on the above mentioned mind-aspects.

Therefore I commit myself to share how each are able to stop the abusive nature that the human has become, by clearing out the mind-clutter as systems of thinking that we have developed that grasp moments and turn them into full on battalions of mental action, where we survive against others and situation within the mind - based always on fears and desires - which is self-interest.

I commit myself, when as as I find myself building this scenario in my mind called thinking or back-chatting - to stop, breathe and realize I am now creating myself into and as an abuser and that the solution is always to look clearly at common sense, practical, self honest solutions to situations - that can be used by all, equally as it serves always what is best for all.