This blog is a continuation from:
Background info: if you have not been walking the Crime's Journey to Life blogs since the beginning - please read the following blog where I explain the how and why I walk this series and why I apply Self-Forgiveness as myself for all the character components found within 'Crime' - which includes understanding 'Crimes against Life'.
The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer
My Self-Forgiveness will be based on the main points taken from the following article:
The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer: Sexual Serial Homicide from a Neuropsychiatric Developmental Perspective
From the article I will be compiling the main developmental/experiences within Jeffrey Dahmer - contributing to him becoming a 'Serial Killer'
"It is well known that JD was the product of a pregnancy complicated by the fact that his mother suffered from disabling protracted nausea, anxiety, and dysphoria coupled with his mother’s use of prescribed tranquilizers"
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my past to influence myself through memory to such an extend that physically I am eventually overcome with states of 'protracted nausea, anxiety, and dysphoria'.
I commit myself to stop the past from repeating itself as cycles of abuse in my present, by clearing each moment as it happens, walking the moment in self honesty, self responsibility and consideration that my words and actions are molding me as well as the future generations as the words and actions we speak and live.
I forgive myself for storing the past as abusive or fearful experiences in my cells as DNA, which activates me into the living hell of 'protracted nausea, anxiety, and dysphoria'
I commit myself to show how allowing any form of abuse, does not not just 'go away' - but in fact in our world, is currently shown as being the key ingredient in the abuse that is recreated into and as the new generations - where no one considers that if we do not stop the layers of abuse and self sabotage - we will never change what is here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the dimension of Fear, which causes anxiety, nausea and eventually influences the mind of the being into altered states, where the mind shifts itself off into protection mechanisms and mechanical dysfunctions - such as 'dysphoria'.
Dysphoria (difficult to bear) (semantically opposite of euphoria) is a medically recognized mental and emotional condition in which a person experiences intense feelings of depression, discontent, and in some cases indifference to the world around them.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up on myself due to my internal self sabotage conversations and life circumstances, in which I manifest the experience od self-depression.
I commit myself to stand up from within this energetic experience of 'depression', into and through breathing - where I release myself from the idea that I give up on myself - as I realize that this giving up was merely based on my rejecting myself, who I have become and the world before me - where I have never considered changing myself or the world I live in to no longer allow any abuse and harm, wherein I am taking direct responsibility for the allowance of depression within me by taking responsibility for the reasons why such self annihilation occurs.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use depression as a means of escape - wherein I have submitted myself in my living flesh to a point of discomfort and avoidance, instead of facing who and what I am within how the world functions - but instead abdicating self responsibility of myself into a withdrawal and physical punishment.
I forgive myself for reminding myself daily through internal conversations that my life is to much to bear, instead of realizing the compounding effect it will eventually have on my mind and physical, as I program myself into and as the experience of depression.
I commit myself to stop any and all polarities within myself, where I create life and self worth expectations, which are based on positives and negative outcomes, which force me into a continuous struggle as I attempt to correct the polarities I perceive as I program myself into systems of the mind charged by feelings I programmed as either positive or negative.
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