Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Day 135: The Paranormal Series Part 5 - A Psychic’s Gate Keeper (part 2)

 Day 131: The Paranormal Series - Ghosts and Demons Part 1

Day 132: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 2

Day 133: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 3

Day 134: The Paranormal Series Part 4 - A Psychic’s Gate Keeper (part 1)


The Next part of Self Forgiveness based on the interview:
Journeys into the Afterlife - A Psychic's Gate-Keeper

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my true nature within the system of mind consciousness to desire and need a specific type of illusion according to what I would like or dislike or agree with as an afterlife existence.

afterlifeI forgive myself for accepting and allowing my true nature to be what I perceive as being the truth or better than what other people experience, and thus I will reject the spiritual ideals and illusions of other people – as invalid or wrong or misguided , while not realizing for myself if I was to use my own reasoning – that my own spiritual needs and desires also have no basis in the truth and also only exists in my mind, where I have learned to fuel my spirituality by giving it life through my own thought processes and by daily focusing so much on aspects and dimensions of ‘my spirituality’ and how it functions – that eventually i too start having the same illusions around spirituality as what others have and create the same mind-physical type reactions, where I start feeling things moving and happening in my body to ‘seeing things’ and ‘knowing things’.

images (4)I forgive myself for accepting and allowing  myself to misuse the principle of ‘ask and you shall receive’ to not ask about why our reality exists the way it does with famine, war, murder, abuse, rape, poverty, inequality etc – but instead to use my mind to ask for my own unique life experience, whereby I am able to avoid this reality – and further and further float way into my own special experiences that leave me feeling unique, special, spiritual, enlightened.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing  myself to listen to stories about demons and how this will taint or change me – and simply unconditionally believing these stories, without questioning the actuality or truth within this and without questioning the reason why demons are ‘tainted’ in the first place.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make statements of ‘I don't fear death’ when in actuality I still travel around in my mind, creating various, either life or afterlife scenarios – that allow me to avoid the fear of death and rather focus on my own pleasure, enjoyment and ways of avoiding fear and distracting myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing recycling systems of ‘life’ and ‘death’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a world system where we decided that a normal human should function a  certain way –which was determined according to our pre-described functioning according to the soul construct and our design within consciousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be structured within a pre-programmed mind system within consciousness.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Day 134: The Paranormal Series Part 4 - A Psychic’s Gate Keeper (part 1)

          Day 131: The Paranormal Series - Ghosts and Demons Part 1
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and.html
Day 132: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 2
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-132-paranormal-seriesghosts-and.html
Day 133: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 3 
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and_19.html

I will be starting this Blog Series, by walking through the ‘Journey’s into the Afterlife’ Interview Series – which follows  examples and explanations of what heaven use to exist as, the design thereof and the truth of why heaven existed in its multi-faceted nature. We will hear about guides, masters, gate keepers, one atom gods, higher selves etc – all giving their perspective on how and why they existed within the greater design of ‘the Afterlife’ and the Human ‘Soul Construct’. From there I will move onto the Series about Demons and walk through the interviews done by the Demons, to better understand the greater picture of what Demons did, what was not understood about demons and how demons relate to the human experience. From there I will take a look at the quantum mechanics of how paranormal events occur now and how the Human Mind as the Quantum Mind is designed and creates Paranormal-Mind experiences.

“We had to make sure the knowledge and information in the minds of human beings of what heaven is remains in tact – and that if we did bring a being to actually communicate, that the being communicate in line with the heaven existence and how it existed and that they would not distribute any information about the heaven existence, other than what the being had been instructed to say, or speak, or do. So if one have a look at the messages through psychics, loved ones and things like that, the messages would always only be in the context of the personal relationship that the being that had passed over had with the being that was still on this physical earth; there was never any knowledge and information extended about exactly where they were within the heaven existence or what they were doing in the heaven existence exactly… I mean it was really very easy to manipulate the knowledge and information that was being channelled or communicated through from the heaven existence to humans in this physical reality.”
                                                                           - Interview with:  a Psychic’s Gate Keeper

For the full context on which I base my self forgiveness please listen to the following interview:
Journeys into the Afterlife - A Psychic's Gate-Keeper

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have to protect ‘heaven’

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question why heaven would require protecting, as this indicates to me a problem between the reality of what is ‘out there’ as the truth and who beings really are and what is behind the ‘gates of heaven’ that require protection.

heavenI forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise or question that if heaven has be be separated from the truth or from reality – then this is not heaven, because heaven in essence should be the place where all beings are able to come to rest and if they are not in a position to fit in with heaven as a place of rest, then I would ask the question, why heaven separates itself from those they are unable to assist, and then why this is still called heaven if it exists in separation from the truth of who beings are when they die.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question the existence of heaven if as noted above, heaven is unable to assist all to be a part of heaven, thus removing itself from the needs of the afterlife, thus indicating that the real purpose of heaven is not about the ‘everlasting rest’ of ourselves when we cross over and thus;

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the story behind what heaven is, and this is not just from what comes through this information source as the Portal, there are many references in many religious and spiritual books that refer to this separation between for example heaven and the demons/ghosts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the gate keeper that ‘keeps beings in line with what heaven is about’ and to not allow them to sway from the prescribed information about what really goes on in heaven.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be this gate keeper that enforces a lie about heaven, upon earth, and in doing so not really addressing the hidden problems about what heaven really is while also allowing the continued separation between the ‘heavenly beings’ and those who are unable to find eternal rest, as heaven indicates its purpose to be.

I forgive myself therefore for accepting and allowing the same problem to exist on earth in essence, where the homeless, the criminals, the insane are all rejected, pushed aside and separated from society, without truly creating safe spaces for those who are for example elderly, or disabled or insane, but instead leave them to rot and be abused in government run facilities by staff that are underpaid and not monitored and for criminals and homeless people to not be understood as a product of our money system and societal value systems around rich vs. poor etc.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the facilitator of a persons pre-programmed life designs and to never in my role question why this pre programming would be necessary – and to never question what is it about existence and human life that require pre-designs?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become depressed at the idea of dying

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto a  belief that if I die I will not experience a life that I always desired to live

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear death, because death would imply the end of me as the mind and myself as a personality, which I have defined as who I am as the living expression of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear death, as I have become accustomed to existing inside a personality structure that lives for and as thinking and surviving.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid the fear of death, by participating more in entertainment and energy and thinking – so that through my activity and keeping busy as the mind – I am able to forget that my mind will one day no longer exist, and through this cycle I am obviously feeding my own belief in who I am as this mind system that requires to ‘live’ and thus I keep this cycle of fearing its end going, by perpetually choosing the avoidance and entertainment of myself to forget, instead of realizing myself here in my body and utilising the life in this body to live to the fullest and to use the opportunity to change the fear systems for all people based on lack and survival to that of fully living, so that we may get to a point of satisfaction with our one life, which will allow all to stop fearing life and stop fearing death as the endless cycles of struggling within our minds and physical.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Day 133: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 3

This is a follow up from:

Day 131: The Paranormal Series - Ghosts and Demons Part 1
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and.html

Day 132: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 2
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-132-paranormal-seriesghosts-and.html
 
“Now, this is where I know most ghost enthusiasts will kick up a stink and complain to me that many ghost hunters will actually attempt to assist the ‘ghost/demon’ to ‘go to the light’ so to speak. But you know what? This is like saying to the room full of children – ‘its ok, don't be scared, go through that door over there, I have read in an old book written and rewritten by humans who are known for fabricating stories and inventing ‘knowledge’ to control people or to drive/impulse/manipulate the human for profit - that what is behind that door is ‘nice’. The fact is many ghost hauntings and possession cases re-occur and that the exorcist and demon hunters don't ACTUALLY know ‘what is behind the door’ (the white light) but are trusting sources from books – where they themselves have never actually been able to look behind the door …. So would you do that to a child? So for example when I had my ‘aha’ moment where I experienced shock and shame at my antics – what I realized was that firstly ‘why would a God allow beings who at the moment of a traumatic/confusing/angry death clinging to their bodies or homes or objects –why would such a God punish them by saying ‘well you wanted to stay there so weh…’”
 
If you have ever watched ‘ghost hunting/paranormal investigator’ type documentaries, then you will know what I am talking about. As I said before I have watched many documentaries/ghost movies and ghost hunter videos on youtube etc and a while back in preparation for this series, I went onto Youtube and watched some ghost hunter type documentaries to have a fresh view on how paranormal investigations are being done as of late.


1987 Paranormal Investigator

2013 - Paranormal Investigators or Rock Band?
The first thing that I noticed was the difference between ghost documentaries now and what they were like about 10 years ago. The emphasis back then was filming and documenting paranormal activity. Obviously I am not referring to the intentional creation and spreading of falsified ‘paranormal phenomena’ on the internet, but simply stating that the difference between what was filmed and presented many years ago to what is presented now is that back in the day the emphasis was on the paranormal. Now the emphasis is very much about the ego of the paranormal investigators and the entertainment value. Let me walk you through an example. The first ghost hunting series that I attempted to watch, was filmed by a group of 4/5 young men, each one looked like he had spent allot of time at the gym and spent plenty of time before filming gelling and prepping their hairstyles.


Then they opened their mouths and this is where my jaw dropped, because it become like a scene from a rugby player’s locker room, all of them preparing their ego’s for some big attack that is about to take place between themselves and this disembodies soul. As they started walking through the haunted location, the presenters themselves appeared to go into more and more of a possessed state as they started shouting challenges to the ghost/demons who occupied the building and each one’s threat to the ghosts was out done by the next.

For example they would shout things like ‘common, move something dammit!, is this all you’ve got, I’m not scared of you, show me what you’ve got!’ Now the demon/ghosts probably took one look at these Johnny Bravo looking characters and either left of thoroughly would have enjoyed the egotistical male energy that was oozing off these lads. So by the end of their tour through this haunted location, the 'Johnny Bravos’ were thoroughly disappointed by the no-show of the ghosts after they shouted so many threats and promises. If demons and ghosts were to roam those halls, I bet you a million dollars that they were not as inactive as the ‘hunters’ thought they were and would have been sapping their energy and probably encouraging the ego’s to extremes.


So this left me with the distinct impression, that these lads had absolutely no interest in the fate of these ‘souls’ but instead were there to chase things, and show off their ‘fearlessness and skill’s. Even though I had reached my limit with all the ranting and spearing, I decided to carry on and watch another episode. Again these lads with their well gelled hair and matching ghost hunter t-shirts set forth through the next haunted location, where it did not take long for the lad in front to start yelling threats and obscenities as the ‘demon/ghost that they suspected haunted this location. He even went as far as saying to the ghost/demon ‘common we know you hurt the people who use to live here… you think you are so brave, why don't you attack one of us and show us how big and brave you really think you are.’ Obviously at this point I am wondering what performance these lads are going to produce, because obviously if they are pushing for the ghosts to perform, either one of them is going to be attacked or they will have to fake an attack to keep the viewers interested.

I continued watching to see what would transpire, and true as bob a few minutes later one of the strong body builder looking Johnny Bravo’s start screaming like a girl clutching his face. He claims that ‘something smacked him in the face’ which is obviously what they had been waiting for, however what got me giggling was ‘how he reacted’ – screaming and cussing and carrying on as if he was upset by what this demon had done. I am thinking, ‘but wait a minute you were threating and pleading with this ghost/demon just a  few minutes ago: ‘why don't you attack one of us and show us how big and brave you really think you are’ and now that the demon'/ghost has done exactly that you complain and act as if you were completely innocent in the whole thing?

So that is just one example of the strange logic of the ghost hunter. I mean getting back to my example in my previous blog, of us watching a room full of hungry, lost, distraught children and getting a kick out of watching them run around in circles crying; This example of the Johnny Bravo ghost hunters is taking that example to the next level where you would actually taunt the lost, frightened children and make them cry even more. I mean we see examples of animal abuse on the internet/television where people will for example catch wild animals like bears and tigers and then put them in cages and poke them with sticks while the hunters drink beers and film themselves – this is the exact same thing.

I continued to randomly pick ghost investigative videos on Youtube and continued to be perplexed at the obvious level of self interest and the tactics used by the investigators to ‘up’ the level of entertainment value. Each ghost hunting team had its own technique – because unfortunately even for those who were genuinely interesting in documenting paranormal activity – their ratings would be influenced by whether the viewers lost interest or not. For some this did not matter, as they posted their videos regardless of how many views they got and during the investigations very little if anything would ever happen. This to me was more accurate in terms of the real time discovery and documentation of paranormal activity. For some there was action every 10 minutes, which obviously reeked of fakery. Unfortunately as with our taste in movies and music, one thing that stands out the most about the entertainment industry is definitely not the story or the music talent or the lyrics, it has become about the viewer/user, wanting a specific experience and the music/film industry has to cater for the human experience. That is why the movies we are seeing for the last 7/8 years are all the exact same story lines and the focus is always on the same factors such as sex, relationship dynamics, love, money, deception, etc. Same with the music industry  - as Myley Cyrus said herself after being interviewed about her rather strange performance a while back  - she admits that she can make crap music and crap music videos because her fans will always be there.

Getting back to the point why I am doing this blog series, I realized that I was participating in the industry that traps animals in cages and pokes at them with sticks for entertainment. At Desteni, we have been researching the existence of ghosts and the paranormal and I suggest if you are interested in this subject matter – to please follow this link to our demonology website where you will find the video and transcriptions of our series done on Desteni and Demons. From this you will be able to get a better understanding of the approach that I will be taking with this blog series. I am not supporting the existence of ghosts, I will however be walking a series of self understanding and self forgiveness on how demons/ghosts use to exist and how myself and other ‘paranormal enthusiasts’ continue through the mind to create paranormal experiences.

Next I will be walking each of the interviews that we did on Eqafe where it is explained how ghosts use to exist and how people experience paranormal events now – thus I will be exploring my own ‘quantum mind mechanics of paranormal events.’

Monday, March 10, 2014

Day 132: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 2


This blog is a follow up from:
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and.html

“My fascination started after my father’s death – where I realized that I could actually sense and at times see an outline of him in my home. This I initially connected to a simple fascination with my father and the questions that were left unanswered after he died. Therefore I was not really sure if I was really seeing/sensing him or if my underlying fears and desires were the cause of my experiences. I felt lost without him and I also felt guilty for him dying – because I connected his heart attack to him having to much stress which caused him to have the heart attack. This burden I carried with me for many years until I discovered Desteni and was supported to let go of the guilt, the fear, the dependency , the inherent desire to be with my father and to slowly learn to give myself back to me and live my life…”

What opened up for me though from about the age of 17 onwards was a peculiar ability to continue to sense and see spirits. Therefore from being able to sense and at times see my father – I developed an ability to also detect other ghosts and demonic beings. This peaked my interest in the paranormal even more and it was then that I started dabbling with Wiccanism and then Paganism and the Ouija Board – where I had an insatiable desire to communicate not only with my farther but with ‘dead people’ in general. Years later, I could explain that my fascination with ‘the dead’ largely had something to do with the fact that I really did not enjoy being around the living lol. I found conversations with the living to be very tiring and this I realized was due to the fact that I had depression due to how I was not dealing with my fathers death and the strained relationship I had with him before he died. So all in all – my 'fear of being without a father’, which is an inherent programmed design in all people and my guilt at my father dying drove me to wanting to in a way punish myself for my fathers depression that he had all of his adult life, which ended in him making a decision to provide for his family in spite of his painful childhood – after which he died from worrying about money to take care of his family.

All of this weighed so heavily on my shoulder and I delved deeper and deeper into adult depression – which caused me to have an uncanny/strange kind of character  - where I would be the odd, gothic looking girl in the back – who would cringe at the sight of humans at a party – and look forward to the time that I could go home to talk on the ouija board with ghosts lol. So my fascination with the supernatural around the age of 17 led me to reading ample books – which of course when my grandmother found out, caused her to have a fit and confront my mother about these un-godly satanic books that she was allowing her daughter to bring into the house. Funnily enough, my mother was so sick of her mothers tyrannical rants that she stood up to her and said ‘man leave her alone, she can read what she wants’.

After this I met a Wiccan at a party and soon after that we not only became friends but I joined him in his religion which kind of transmuted from Wicca to Paganism as we explored more and more ‘the darker side of things’. Anyway, I speak about my Wicca/Paganism/Ouija board adventures enough in all of the articles and videos referred to above – so I will skip to the next part.

libraryghostAround the age of 24 I started studying Kinesiology because my second passion became about alternative therapies and assisting people. In my spare time i decided to study parapsychology – because this was what i really wanted to do but obviously career wise, in South Africa this does not give one an option for a paying career, so I simply did it because it was my ‘passion’. I joined an online course which was based with a paranormal Research group in Manchester, England. I only studied the first year of Parapsychology after which I was invited to come and live with the people who I am currently working and living with. More information on Desteni and the Portal above.

So you might be asking ‘why are you doing a blog series on the paranormal if your blog is about ‘Crime’s Journey to Life’. You see an interesting point that I touched on in my blog, which I referred to above, called: Ghost hunting – is where I realized one day that I was essentially using the distress of another being, caught on this earthly plane due to whichever distressful situation they experienced during death – to entertain myself with. It was the same as having a room full of hungry, distraught, sick, frightened, disorientated children and watching their distress and lostness to experience a thrill. Therefore what I am doing to myself and in essence to another being, even if it is a ‘ghost’ is using their distress and fear and confusion and vulnerability for my entertainment  and from my perspective this is saying about me that I abuse others vulnerabilities and obviously will allow the same to be done to me for the entertainment of others – and this is a Crime against Life. Just like people who justify that animal abuse is ok because they ‘beLIEve’ animals don't have ‘souls’ thus don't deserve equal life rights or that the animal kingdom is there to ‘serve man;’ – the same applies here – we are as ‘ghost hunters’ admitting that we believe or ‘know’ that ghosts exist as the disembodied essence or ‘soul’ (and the apparent value we give to a thing called a ‘soul’") of human beings –and yet at the drop of hat we will use their situation for our own entertainment value. Therefore you will note that as soon as a human or other life form on this plant is in a vulnerable position where it cannot defend itself – then within Capitalism as the ‘need for humans to survive’ or within the drive for human self-interest (as in this case for entertainment) we will find excuses to abuse/exploit that life form.

ghostcam2Now, this is where I know most ghost enthusiasts will kick up a stink and complain to me that many ghost hunters will actually attempt to assist the ‘ghost/demon’ to ‘go to the light’ so to speak. But you know what? This is like saying to the room full of children – ‘its ok, don't be scared, go through that door over there, I have read in an old book written and rewritten by humans who are known for fabricating stories and inventing ‘knowledge’ to control people or to drive/impulse/manipulate the human for profit - that what is behind that door is ‘nice’. The fact is many ghost hauntings and possession cases re-occur and that the exorcist and demon hunters don't ACTUALLY know ‘what is behind the door’ (the white light) but are trusting sources from books – where they themselves have never actually been able to look behind the door …. So would you do that to a child? So for example when I had my ‘aha’ moment where I experienced shock and shame at my antics – what I realized was that firstly ‘why would a God allow beings who at the moment of a traumatic/confusing/angry death clinging to their bodies or homes or objects –why would such a God punish them by saying ‘well you wanted to stay there so weh…’

In the next blog I  will expand on this point with another example.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Day 131: The Paranormal Series - Ghosts and Demons Part 1


For those who have watched or read my experience with Demon possession, with know that I have a long history with exploring the unexplained, ghosts/demons, the paranormal and I have dabbled with Wiccanism and Paganism. If you have not read/viewed my history – you are able to find my documentation here:

My process from there to understanding myself, my possession and demons:

 

  1. Interviews from the Farm 22: Talking Andrea and Portal Authentication with Jack

  2. http://forum.desteni.org/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=20

  3. http://andrearossouw1.blogspot.com/2013/01/changing-my-thoughts-will-change-me.html

  4. http://andrearossouw1.blogspot.com/2012/02/self-forgiveness-and-writing.html

  5. Ghost hunting

  6. Demons, Demon Possession and Entities part 1

  7. Demons, Demon Possession and Entities part 2

  8. Demons, Demon Possession and Entities part 3

  9. Demons, Demon Possession and Entities part 4


More information on the ‘Portal’ and the History of ‘Desteni’

 

  1. The History of Desteni Session 1

  2. The History of Desteni Session 2 - Discovering Heaven

  3. About the Demonology Website

  4. Demon Possession in Modern Times

 

So the reason why I wanted to walk this blog series is as follow: I have always been a great fan of ghost hunting/paranormal investigation stories/movies/documentaries. Like any ghost hunting enthusiast – I would experience an absolute thrill each time I could sit and watch a documentary on youtube or watch some scary movie about ghost hunters exploring/investigating haunted location – or some movie about demonic possession - where my heart would beat a little bit faster as I would wait in anticipation for some proof of life beyond death or to get a glimpse into the activities of some invisible force. I had an insatiable thirst to see or experience ghostly phenomena and I was absolutely fascinated by the intricacies of the mere existence of a thing like a ghost – ‘who are they, what are they experiencing and what are they capable of?’ Now these are the questions we ask ourselves, as ghost hunting enthusiasts, but what we are really experiencing is thrill seeking and the desire to understand more about life after death. For myself, I not only viewed the documentary/scene/video that I was watching from a thrill seeking perspective, but I always wanted to understand who or what do we become when we cross over – for us to become demons/ghosts bound to a person, location or object.

My fascination started after my father’s death – where I realized that I could actually sense and at times see an outline of him in my home. This I initially connected to a simple fascination with my father and the questions that were left unanswered after he died. Therefore I was not really sure if I was really seeing/sensing him or if my underlying fears and desires were the cause of my experiences. I felt lost without him and I also felt guilty for him dying – because I connected his heart attack to him having to much stress which caused him to have the heart attack. This burden I carried with me for many years until I discovered Desteni and was supported to let go of the guilt, the fear, the dependency , the inherent desire to be with my father and to slowly learn to give myself back to me and live my life.

To be continued…

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Day 130: The Sex industry and ‘Supply and Demand’


This is a follow up in the Pornography Series from:
Day 129: Crimes against Life: Forced to keep working in the Sex Industry

I watched a documentary called: ‘Date my Porn Star’ – and in this documentary – the emphasis is the experiences of 3 guys who are porn addicts – who get the opportunity to go to LA to meet their favourite porn stars and are taken to various Porn Sets to watch how porn movies are made. Part of the emphasis of the documentary is to show how these men experience the behind the scenes information about how the woman within the porn industry really experience themselves.
The first few sets are ‘normal’ as in the porn stars have sex with other porn stars while they film porn movies. The 3 guys are observed and filmed and asked throughout how they experience themselves. Obviously being porn addicts it basically comes down to them ‘feeling horny’ all the time and being envious of the porn stars.

The last set they go to is slightly different. In this scenario the porn stars have to have endless sex for hours with men who win a competition – in which the winner gets to have sex with a porn star. So these are ‘normal’ members of the public who entered a competition to get to have sex with porn starts – however again with the emphasis being placed on the crude and disgusting – the porn starts don't have sex with only 1 or 2 men  - they have to go on for about 2 hours with various men. This is apparently part of the attraction for those watching it on TV. The one girls was so tired that she collapsed and was only given 2 minutes to go behind scenes and ‘recollect herself’ because they could not stop for her because this charade was being filmed ‘live’. So just like cattle being fed to the slaughterhouse these girls were not even considered. Of course what did I expect from an industry that sells human dignity for profit. I supposed considering the context of it being ‘the porn industry’ of course I was not really shocked to see this. To top it all off, once ‘filming stopped’ the ‘boss’ and the director and the managers all got to ‘have a go at the girls’ so the girls had to continue having sex long after filming stop – simply to of course remain in the business.

The documentary film crew who were filming the 3 men – asked each of them what they thought of this particular scenario. Now the expressions on their faces were a little different because they had witnessed how these woman were being abused for their and millions of other men’s entertainment. No mercy was shown and of course that was deliberate, as the Porn industry specifically exists because people want to experience the energetic charge from seeing the nasty, ugly, rape side of sex. Let’s be honest the porn industry stopped being about sex a veeeery long time ago and now merely exists to trigger the secret mind fantasies in people – whereby the user/viewer gets the highest sexual energetic experience. So the user is directly responsible for the porn industry existing as it does today.

The one man, when asked what he thought of all of this, looked a little less sure of himself than he did on the previous sets. However, you could see the cogs in his brain turning and the addiction personality taking over and finding excuses why he should not have to give up this drug addiction. So he answers ‘well there is a supply and a demand for this stuff you know – it’s basic commers’. So basically to the addict any person, child or animal may be abused because of supply and demand. People of course, obviously do not realise that as long as we have a money system where these woman have to have money to survive, obviously (as discussed in previous blogs) they are going to have to work and secondly why earn minimum wages working at Wal-Mart or MacDonald if you can earn 5 times that doing one porn movie. Obviously – the obvious aspect of it all is that these woman actually do understand that they are selling themselves, allowing themselves to be abused physically and mentally for the this point of survival. Remove that point of survival and most of these woman would not arrive for work. The ones that do arrive for work  (as discussed in a previous blog) – you will be able to trace the time line of their life experiences and their pre-programmed designs to get a better understanding on how a man or woman grows up to love sex so much that they want to degrade themselves physically and mentally for the profit of others – simply to be seen as beautiful or desired and the emphasis that is placed with society and femininity towards ‘sexiness’ and being sexually ‘free’ .

Towards the end of the documentary the man who made the comment about ‘supply and demand’ looked at how these woman were faking their enjoying and battling through pain and fatigue – and said ‘these woman are really not enjoying themselves- maybe this is just a meat grinder for young woman’ . Later at the end of the documentary they interview the man again and ask him if this whole experience has given him some insights and he replied that he realized something's about himself (did not say what it was) and that there are some things about himself that he needs to now look at some more. Interesting – seeing first hand the reality of what these people go through. Unfortunately, this indicates that the tendency exists for people to believe what they are told – believe unconditionally what ones sees on television without questioning, to never observe the abuse that happens in the world from how one participates but rather to continue supporting abuse as long as it fuels the money system.

imageWhat I have realised myself within how I started questioning what I accepted in this reality – was that most of what is presented is the lie – what happens behind the scenes is a very different story because everyone is simply trying to survive and within  this capitalism functions according to the consumer. The consumer is a unit of biological mind systems that require energy through what we experience. Experiences come from what we participate in and all of that is provided for through capitalism, therefore the consumer is always the key to the Money System as it is now and as it evolves. Capitalists always monitor and study trends and trends develop according to the human psyche which as I mentioned previously, exists according to energetic experiences such as addictions which are fuelled constantly through what we see, touch and experience. So as the man mentioned in the documentary – he realized something about himself in relation to the abuse he witnessed – this is a pretty cool step for an addict – because one has to realize that an addict is consumed and possessed- hence the term addicted. So for an addict to have a moment of clarity where you come face to face with the consequences of your choices and participation – is  effective in this case however unfortunate  -as we have designed it so that we only start considering change once we face our consequences. This means (and this you are able to see for yourself) that we have created a world with immense suffering to ourselves, each other, the animals, nature and children –and currently not much is done to stop the suffering. This I have experienced myself on many levels – where I too would not change unless I was forced to, unless the pain or discomfort got to much etc. With the tool of self honesty what I have realized is that one can start considering what is best for all – where one has already done it once or twice and realize we are more than our self interest – and that it is possible to create a better world through self change.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Day 129: Crimes against Life: Forced to keep working in the Sex Industry


This blog is a follow up on:

Day 128: Crimes against Life: Struggling to survive – become a porn star!

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/12/day-128-crimes-against-life-struggling.html

 

On the subject of Money as motivation for why people become involved in porn, I watched 2 documentaries today:


Dark Side of Porn 04 Death of a Porn Star

http://youtu.be/5AQDAmCIwcQ
images (1)This documentary is based on the life or Lolo Ferrari -  labelled as the woman with the largest breasts in the world’ (artificial). Lolo had body dysmorphic disorder which meant that she constantly looked for ways to improve on the shape and size of her face, lips, body and breasts –as she was never satisfied with herself. In short once she got married, her husband served as her agent – from model to stripper to short lived porn star- all based on her fame for her large breasts. In the documentary you basically see the battle going on between her mother saying that it was the husband that was responsible in the end for her death (which they thought was a suicide but 2 years after initial autopsy a second autopsy cast doubt on it being a suicide) and the husband, who claimed that Lola’s path of self-destruction was due to abuse from her parents when she was young.

Loloferrari020122The documentary basically highlights both parties portraying themselves as innocent –saying that it was Lola and either the husband or family that caused her downward spiral to the apparent suicide. Nowhere in the documentary does anybody take responsibility for what happened and for who Lola became. What I want to highlight about this documentary was the opinions given by the Psychiatrists who discuss body dysmorphic disorder as well as the plastic surgeon who mentions that the plastic surgeons who assisted her to constantly have more surgeries done until she in the end looked like and I quote her mother ‘a monster’ –did in fact more harm to her than good.


images (2)So what I am emphasising here about this documentary is the fact that nobody understands that one can criticise this woman for her decisions, but unless one understands how society contributes to the overall design of body dysmorhic disorder –as all the image related ideals we create for woman and men – we will never sort out the problem – because right now how males and females are obsessed with ‘how we look’ is all forms of body dysmorphic disorder which we all generate and participate in creating all the time in our own homes where we teach young girls and boys about acceptance in the form of what they dress and what they look like. So this extreme case of ‘Lolo’ is only emphasised because it stands out – nobody wants to talk about the global problem that exist within most young people today – and that the porn industry exist because so many people are creating abusing, illusionary, capitalistic/consumerist driven ideals about our image and worth as sexual objects both within society and marriages.

The second point here – is that no matter what the psychiatrists and plastic surgeons say about the harm done to and by this Lolo character that was created – the point is we will not be able to change the porn industry and how people get sucked into it – if we don't understand how the money system works – you are not going to change people going into the sex industry for ‘easy’ money if you don't change Capitalism and how people have to survive within our current money system.

Lets research the solution to each person having a effective income:

Living Income Guaranteed

http://basicincomeguaranteed.wordpress.com/

The second documentary:

Me and My Slaves (The Dark Side of Porn) 2006

http://youtu.be/akBhhmQapuU

This documentary follows the life of a ‘sadomasochist master’. The documentary follows this man for a year, where he shows the presenters insights into his life, his dungeon where he tortures people (for money) and the behind the scenes insights are revealed into why this man chose to do this. Now the interesting direction that this documentary takes is that the man says that he wants to eventually towards the end of this documentary quit what he is doing – however you can see that towards the ending of the documentary he reveals that he does not really know what he will now do for money, as he has no particular skill sets as he has been doing this for 25 years already.

So, you can see how this man struggles with his own inner demons as he wants to stop what he is doing because he is starting to connect the dots between his own abusive sexual past of rape etc, to his choices over the last 25 years to be a ‘paid’ sadomasochist. The battle ensues as he is torn between his financial future and basically having to now step into the uncertainty of what he will do for money, and his moral or conscious fight with his choices which were all – as he reveals throughout the documentary in anyway based on being abused sexually.

Now that the picture becomes more clear to him, he wants to step away from inflicting pain on others to cope with his own rage at being sexually abused, but the reality of the situation is that he will now probably have no other job and he even mentions that he will probably loose everything. Towards the end of the documentary you see him packing up and selling his sado masochism tools and equipment, thus revealing that he is truly biting the bullet so to speak and letting go – but again one does not know how it really ended – would he in time simply go back to what he has always done financially? Will the fear of not being able to provide for himself in the system, eventually drive him back to reliving his choices of inflicting abuse based on abuse? Is this really the life choices anybody would want for themselves – is this truly living?

Lets research the solution to each person having a effective income that removed abuse and fear:

Living Income Guaranteed

http://basicincomeguaranteed.wordpress.com/

Friday, October 18, 2013

Day 126: Crimes against Life: Pornography Part 2


This blog is a follow up on:
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/10/day-125-crimes-against-life-pornography.html

In this blog I would like to now start taking a look at the time line of events that lead up to the existence of porn user, distributor and the porn star. I will be investigating the various dimensions that lead up to why such an industry exist that has millions of people addicted daily, while at the same time existing due to an undercurrent of rationalisation and justifications by most of humanity – where pornography is seen as acceptable and an sexual outlet that is ok, even though the effects of it on both user and porn star is anything but ‘ok’. So by walking the time line of the life events behind why such an industry exists, together with the societal justifications behind why it ok for us to continue allowing pornography as a sexual outlet – we will be able to come face to face with who we have become as society, as the human beings that rationalise through thinking an industry like pornography into ‘existence’.

As I mentioned in my previous blog, we have drawn a line between child pornography as being ‘wrong’ but rationalise adult pornography as being acceptable. Then most do not bother to do the research about the real effects of pornography on both the user and the porn star and nobody bothers to research the assumptions and myths behind things like ‘porn stars must enjoy it’ and ‘but why can I not use it if I pay for it’. These rationalisations would not be used if we were talking about handing guns to children and would most certainly not be used if 50 years down the line we sold our wives and children into servitude to become porn stars.The fact that this already exists, but is more masked and hidden – does not fall into any category worth investigating – why – well lets be frank – what I have noted about myself and what I have experienced as I came face to face with letting go of and really looking at the effects of my addictions on the world and myself – is that as long as I did not see the harm it was causing – I really did not care. So as I say, for now woman are selling themselves into pornography either to survive in this monetary system or because they have been brainwashed by society and their peers/parents – to believe that abusing sexuality is actually a plus – where if you are really pushing your physical boundaries then it means you are a free spirit who is not limited by the religious and cultural limitations of the rest of society. So pushing oneself to really harm your physical body sexually is seen as a positive thing when it comes to pornography and in fact from my experience writing and speaking about this subject – the reactions from mostly males when mentioning these strange mind rationalisations – is to be attacked and told that I am frigid and lesbian and wont allow myself pleasure.


makeupSo lets start at one point here – discussing the female mind set around the ‘achievement accomplished’ to turn oneself into a  porn star. How does a girl/woman grow up to believe that to become a porn start is actually you expressing your sexuality freely? This reminds me of the type of language that is taught by a pedophile to a young child – where the pedophile has one thing in mind and that is to mold the mind set of the young child into his sex slave – therefore as research shows the pedophile will use compliments, comparisons to female and male adult roles and threats to control and subdue a child into the role desires by the pedophile.


So take a young woman growing up, existing as a physical body –and then she reaches an age where she starts noticing glamorous pictures of half naked woman in magazines, movies and billboards. Those who are closest to her such as her mother and sisters' support this image directed identity, by encouraging her to create a personal identity linked within  that which she sees around her. Specific words are used by the mother/sisters/peers to encourage the young girl to start accepting herself as not just googlefemale but a companion to a male – and this opens a who can of worms where the mother will imprint on the young girl the same journey she walked into molding herself into a sexualised object for the males. I remember growing up I was told to wash my hair and to start wearing make up and nice clothes etc – to become a nice lady so that one day I will find a man. So every step of the woman's process of growing up becomes about the picture perfect presentation to finding your mate – the make up the hair, the body, the mannerisms. All of ones existence becomes about fulfilling a role to please the male who will pick you to be his mate. Therefore woman plaster make up on their faces to present a fake picture that will match the pictures seen by people in magazines/movies – so that by doing so the woman creates an identity for herself by linking her image to the already desired images on tv/magazines..

To be continued

For further reading please see the following Blogs/pages:
http://pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com/
https://www.facebook.com/pornaltdelete

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2432591/Porn-pernicious-threat-facing-children-today-By-ex-lads-mag-editor-MARTIN-DAUBNEY.html

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