Sunday, January 25, 2015

Day 197: Writing a blog part 7



"The reason why I shared my time line of experiences to how my interest in Criminology developed was to show that sometimes one has experience in a subject, from which the interest grows, but sometimes you only have a small interest in a subject which comes from for example an awareness or from reading articles on the internet. Either way from here if ones decides to pursue the subject - it takes a bit of research to familiarise oneself with the subject - therefore 'Research is the key'."

Working in the South African Police force and studying Criminology, obviously left me with a very black and white view to Criminal Behaviour - where a criminal is bad and the police catch criminals. Thanks to the work that I have been doing for the last few years I was able to start bridging the gap more between the understanding that currently exist in Criminology of 'what makes a criminal' to the grey areas that nobody in society really wants to talk about - such as if people steal because they don’t have an income - why are we creating and supporting a money system that excludes certain people from receiving their basic living requirements? Therefore you could say I became interested in the 'fringe psychology' within criminology where unfortunately Capitalism has very much set the precedent for how criminology exists. I mean from my perspective you could say that Criminology as all studies in the world is 'in the pocket of the Capitalists' - therefore how can you really study Criminology if you are never allowed to really look at and speak about the real causes of Criminal behaviour.


Things that society rely upon such as the current money system which is based on inequality and abuse and a consumerist system based on Psychological system such as addiction to energy - if we never address these problems we don’t sort out the reason why people commit crimes. But because the entire human idea of existence relies on the value systems within the mind which ties in with consumerism - you will find that most Criminalists will stick to the main stream acceptable discussions and fields of study about Crime - but never dig deeper. For example everyone learns about for example 'crimes being committed because the person was poor or could not feed themselves or desires wealth' and then BAM the information literally stops there. So I have made it my field of interest to continue looking underneath the surface stuff. It was a few years ago that in conjunction with the work that I do with Life Coaching and the Living Income Guaranteed proposal - that myself and others who do the same thing decided to study Psychology to develop an understanding of how the more acceptable 'system' definitions and studies into the Human Mind works to see where we can improve on the acceptable understandings oh the Human Psyche. In this I selected Criminology as my Minor. So from this my blogs have been a focal point on looking underneath the 'surface' stuff where normal Psychology and Criminology stops.

Therefore in relation to the discussion of writing blogs - this is the first point I want to bring across for those interested in Blog Writing - whether it is about the World System and its Problems or about Self and Self Change - either way we are writing blogs in such a way to 'lift the veil' so to speak on 'what is out there' and 'what exist within' from what one understands about any given topic based on what has been published on the internet/books/research material. As I mentioned before, in a consumerist/capitalist based Psychology - most fields of study are linked into how the Mind is 'perceived to work' and from this perception we must understand that how we have been taught things work is not necessarily how they work. So in blog writing - we address the real way in which things work where you learn how to start questioning the information that is 'out there' and how this information works in the bigger picture -meaning developing the understanding that the information itself is part of a bigger design in essentially - yes I am going to say it - the controlling of the human being to exist within specific behaviours and allowances which serve specific groups to achieve specific goals. Be it from the Consumerist system to Politics to general control of the pollution - all of these 'domains' - which are seemingly invisible to the trusting populous - you will find if you do some research and start questioning the information behind the information - will reveal to you the Design of the World System…

Therefore, for me an interest opened up while doing policing and observing the effects of Crime on Society - at that stage I had a sympathy for some criminals, as I could see with limited insight that they came from tough lives and therefore in some cases I felt out right uncomfortable stopping and searching people or acting like a big tough cop and questioning people about their whereabouts, Especially considering that in the South African police force there are still many racist white policeman who enjoy the power trip of while wearing the uniform and gun, to use this as an opportunity to bully people from other colours.

Through the years doing policing I was on the one side also investigating spirituality, and therefore I started becoming more sensitive so to speak to the experiences of both the criminal and the victim. But at that stage I did not yet have the skills to 'lift the veil' on how crime works beyond what I had come to accept from what is 'accepted' by society- I remember just feeling really uneasy around certain policing procedures. It was only years later joining Bernard here at Desteni that he assisted me in seeing more of how the system worked and most importantly how to use tools such as research and common sense to assess that which exist in the world. Therefore, that is what blog writing is about - it is not just about placing information you are already aware of onto paper, but a platform to practise tools of expansion within the topic you are interested in. That is why our DesteniIProcess courses are developed to slowly expand a person's self awareness - and the blogs we write about 'world problems' becomes a personal platform from which ones learns about common sense and investigating what exist as the current accepted systems of the world.

Day 196: Writing a Blog part 6


"As I mentioned in the previous blogs, to overcome these self created belief systems and fears, as a immediate solution, I suggest developing and embracing an understanding that these aspects one have created within self, firstly is not real, because it is an irrational fear, and secondly is something that you are able to change - if you apply the steps to change them. For myself when I started writing - I could hardly string one sentence together and from there had the support to develop how I saw things and how to place that into writing. So no  - it is not an instant thing and depending on your self created belief systems, you might have to apply yourself in common sense by stopping the abusive thoughts that do not serve you - while taking the ultimate self directive step to practise those things you believe you could not do. Obviously here it is about baby steps - to not overwhelm yourself or confirm your paranoia by go all for it, not getting it right and then proving to your beliefs that yes you could not do it. If this happens then know that you have created a lets call it 'self fulfilled prophecy' where you sabotaged yourself to get back to the same point you came from. The mind is very very sneaky this way.  Unfortunately this is how we designed the protection systems of the mind to protect it which is 'us' as personalities."

On the topic of 'world events and solution,' I will share with you the approach that I used: My main interest as you may have noticed has been Criminology. How this all got started: when I finished high school, I studied horsemanship to follow a career eventually in managing or working at some form of horse farm or facility. After attaining this qualification I found it difficult to find the job that I was looking for so spent most of my time pottering around at home and doing the odd office job. Someone suggested to me to consider while I was looking for a job that I would find suitable to use my qualifications to support the South African Mounted Police - which similar to most countries is the division of the South African Police force that works on horseback. I followed the suggestion and went to see the Superintendent of the horse unit. I assisted them with grooming and exercising the horses and from there soon developed a friendship with all the members, after which they suggested to me to become a Reservist - where you volunteer your services to the police - and depending on what you want to get involved in you can either do more low key responsibilities or become trained same as the full time members to assist them with their policing tasks, as a normal paid member would be doing. I wanted to patrol on horseback and do what the full time members did - so I went for my firearm training and they trained me in the tactics and techniques one would need once you are 'out there' patrolling on horse back. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

I did this for 2 years after which time I was offered a job managing a horse farm. I did not want to still be working with or riding horses on the weekends so I took a break from the mounted police. After a while a friend of mine who moved from the mounted police to the uniform division (the 'normal' police stations) suggested to request for a transfer and then on my weekends off I could assist him for a few hours patrolling in the police vehicles and doing crime prevention. Once I was in that division of the police force it became compulsory for all reservist to receive training that the normal police members would receive as well - which made complete sense, because one is going out there arresting people and thus need to understand the law and the administration involved in policing. For 2 months I went to classes on the weekends and studies law and arrest procedures etc. This was also very enjoyable and I started developing more of an understanding of how the policing system worked.


I stayed at this unit for another 3 years working shifts with the members which involved responding to crimes, opening dockets, arrests etc - to the 'behind the scenes' policing which involved crime prevention and at times small under cover operations - which was a lot of fun - getting dressed up and playing certain roles to try and draw out criminals or extract information. So over the years I not only developed more of an understanding of the pressure that the police members are under but also that policing and criminology is unfortunately not really considering the full spectrum or perspectives of why crime exist. For example these people have to face traumatic events every day - either they themselves are placed in life threatening danger or they have to deal with people who have experiences crime to things like dead bodies, murder victims, abused children etc. Even for myself there were times when I faced points that were really difficult for me - such as dealing with/transporting the bodies of people who had killed themselves or been murdered, child abuse cases, animal abuse cases, people who were so traumatised by crime that they begged me to go and stay with me out of fear for their lives. There were some instances where I experiences post traumatic stress disorder (due to my more 'sensitive' personality design) and could not work for weeks, but this is obviously a 'luxury' which the normal members could not afford. I mean yes they had Psychologists they could see and they could be booked off work with PTSD, but in general this would only apply to extreme cases where the member as already showing signs of severe PTSD, where they could not function in their work capacity. This from what I found usually meant that the damage was already done - if a member got to the 'severe stages' and often I worked with members who were already at this stage, where their own lives deteriorated and either due to pride or ignorance they did not get the help they needed. I mean my one friend at the time who I worked with regularly has severe PTSD, but was only booked off work for months of counselling and rest when he finally one day pulled his weapon at the station on his colleagues…

The reason why I shared my time line of experiences to how my interest in Criminology developed was to show that sometimes one has experience in a subject, from which the interest grows, but sometimes you only have a small interest in a subject which comes from for example an awareness or from reading articles on the internet. Either way from here if ones decides to pursue the subject - it takes a bit of research to familiarise oneself with the subject - therefore 'Research is the key'.


More on Trauma in the South African Police Force:


Taken from:

1. Exploring the meaning of trauma in the South AfricanPolice Service: A systems psychodynamic perspective


"Theme 1: Traumatic incidents

Exposure to traumatic situations and scenes is an inevitable part of the job of policing. Most police officers report relatively low levels of death anxiety despite their dangerous profession:
‘Trauma in my work is almost like a daily routine, we experience it almost everyday.’ (Particpant K, member of South African Police Service)

‘The work of the SAPS STF is very dangerous and every time a member gets sent on a mission, his life is on the line.’ (Participant S, member of South African Police Service)

Although most participants experience the death of a colleague as traumatic, they do not consider it overwhelming: ‘Another traumatic time for me, was the death of two of my colleagues in a state vehicle accident. One of them was our commander at the
time and a very good friend of mine. This incident obviously affected the whole unit, but I don’t think we were ever properly debriefed.
Everyone had to deal with this in his or her own way. I feel I dealt with it, but these incidents will always stay with me.’ (Participant A, member of South African Police Service)

The unit is spoken of as a living entity. The whole unit was touched by the loss of two of its members and although they received no psychological intervention (which may be interpreted as support from management), the participant feels that he dealt with this loss in his own way. These incidents were integrated into his ego and became part of his history, and he considers this to be a normal way of coping with trauma.

A sense of meaning was attached to the death of the police officer who was killed in pursuit of a ‘cop killer’; he died for a reason, whereas the death of the officer who was killed whilst cycling was regarded as senseless and devoid of meaning. The employment of religious beliefs in seeking to attach meaning to traumatic experiences is clearly illustrated in the next insert:

‘Then there was X whose parachute did not open during a training jump at Y with the SANDF. He was with me in the plane and exited behind me.
I was the first person to find his body and had to deal with the sight and smell I saw. I did this by setting the example as I was the senior member from the police on the training intervention. I proceeded to handle the scene as professionally as possible without emotion, getting
everybody involved. Once again my defence was to block out any emotional thoughts and replace them with the spiritual reality that his body is destroyed but he lives on elsewhere.’ (Participant N, Member of the South African Police Service)

Anger, aggression and irritability are commonly associated with traumatisation. In the following excerpt, a participant describes his feelings of anger after arresting robbers who shot at a group of which he was part. The anger is directed at the robbers as well as at colleagues who were not at the scene but criticised what had happened there. Again, there is the notion that anyone who was not part of the specific incident, whether or not they are other police officers, cannot understand what it was like:

‘Although, later one regrets it that the robbers are not dead, because they shot to kill us. It was an unfair battle. Some people criticise one’s actions afterwards and say that they would have handled it better ... Then I think to myself: “do not comment if you were not part of that which happened when it happened.”’ (Participant C, member of the South African Police Service)

The sense of having been abandoned by the department was a common complaint amongst injured policemen. This is often perceived as a lack of support:
‘In 2001 I had a serious motor vehicle accident ... During my stay in hospital my unit commander visited me once. There were no visits from colleagues.’ (Participant L, member of South African Police Service)

‘In none of the above cases did my unit commander refer me to helping professions for counselling or for debriefing after a traumatic
event.’ (Participant L, member of South African Police Service)

Theme 2: Systems psychodynamics

This theme consists of organisational and/or systems stressors and transformation.
Organisational and/or systems stressors

Police stress is defined as a perceived imbalance between what is required of officers and what they are capable of giving, under conditions where failure may have dire consequences (McGarth, 1992). Failure to respond to demands in policing is often associated with harm or death. All participants in the current study concurred that organisational stressors have an extremely negative impact on their functioning as police officers, their well-being and their lives as a whole.

Training: The training of police officers has dual relevance to this research. Firstly, there is the level of competency that officers themselves experience, and secondly, their perception of their colleagues’ level of competency. Both of these impacted on the officers’ sense of safety and adequacy, which in turn is linked to their sense of self. This is one of the areas where inadequacy may have serious consequences; untrained officers are a liability to themselves, their colleagues and the public alike. Adequate training makes them feel prepared and equipped for the job at hand:

‘Even though the training was physically very demanding, and you worked under lots of pressure, I believe that I am better equipped, and
better trained to do every job that is required from me.’ (Particpant L, member of South African Police Service)

Recognition: Feeling supported and recognised alleviates feelings of vulnerability and acts as a ‘trauma membrane’. In addition, the psychodynamic perspective on policing considers promotion, commendations and higher salaries as emotionally important since they symbolise the department’s approval or recognition of officers by rewarding them for being ‘special’. Participants cite the low salary that they earn as proof that they are not valued for the work they do and the risks they take:
‘We are a specialising unit and not treated as that. The allowance that was meant for us is taken away. Five years has past since we were
promised to receive an allowance and yet nothing has happened thus far. This makes members to leave our unit and join the private sector where the
money is good.’ (Participant F, member of South African Police Service)

Perceptions about commanders and management of the SAPS: Commanders and management are seen as the personification of the ‘organisation’ and often as the people in power who make the decisions. According to the psychodynamic viewpoint, a policeman’s unconscious emotional experience is that he is the child and the department is either a powerful, nurturing parent or a bungling, punishing one:

‘We heard later that X is leaving on medical grounds. The founder and “godfather” of the unit doesn’t want to be
part of this circus any longer.’ (Participant M, member of South African Police Service)

The impact of organisational stressors on relationships: Relationships within the police service can be broadly grouped into three clusters, namely relationships with colleagues, relationships with friends outside the police service and family relationships. Relationships with co-workers are considered important and have a highly supportive function. The literature indicates that police officers rarely socialise with non-police officers, which leaves family relations as the only other area of social support:

‘During this period, I relied heavily on my wife for support. Whenever something bothers me, I usually talks about it to my wife. Even
though I feel it’s good for me to talk about it, I think it might have a negative effect on her.’ (ParticipantA, member of South
African Police Service)

Working environment: Police officers who perceive their working environment as uncontrollable (external locus of control) are more likely to be utilising emotion-focused coping, which is associated with a poorer prognosis for their mental well-being. Alcohol abuse is often one of the means police officers use to cope with their working environment:

‘The trauma caused by all these incidents and situations have led to excessive drinking. At one stage I was drinking daily and getting
drunk most days. I come to realise that I must set an example for my kids and that the situation I was in was not anybody’s fault. I think
the realisation that the way things are going is a normal reaction of any person or persons that have been oppressed, woke me up. I still have a
few “toasts” but do not get drunk any more ... I spent time with my wife and children and I spent more time with my Maker. I try to go
to church more often. I got involved with school activities ... I think that when I started to realise that there is life outside of my working
hours, and that I am not responsible for everybody, I became less stressed and traumatised.’ (Particpant E, member of South African Police
Service)

This insert indicates ways in which defence mechanisms such as rationalisation may help to restore a sense of control over a situation, which encourages more adaptive ways of functioning. The shift away from the working environment to activities and people who are considered important contributed to this participant’s coping. The conscious increase of distance from the working environment is perceived as an act of survival. The implied message is that the working environment is killing that part of him which is ‘good’ and ‘decent’.

Transformation
SAPS officers face two major stresses: the inherent problems of an often dangerous, violent and underappreciated job, and the pressure of working in an organisation which is being fundamentally transformed.

Racial tension: It is a sensitive topic and probably the issue in the SAPS which is least acknowledged at an official level. For various reasons, including our colonial and apartheid history, racial issues in South Africa and the SAPS in particular are imbued with fear, guilt, anger and anxiety. In their relationship with one another, Black and White men have not only been divided by history and geography; they have related to one another in particular and hierarchical ways. Since the inception of the ‘new’ (anti-apartheid) South Africa and the revamped SAPS, racism, or the perceived unfair advantage of one racial group over another, is considered to be a serious organisational stressor by the White, male participants:

‘Apparently racism does not exists in the new South Africa. “Ha-ha!” racism is alive and well and the only thing that’s
still advancing in the SAPS and its coming from both sides. Both my previous and present direct commanders are two of the biggest racists that I
ever encountered in the SAPS. It causes tension between members when some ethnic groups are deliberately favoured above others. This is one of the
main reasons of conflict between Black and White members at HP. It is wrong for someone in a managerial position to be guilty of such serious
misconduct.’ (Participant M, member of South African Police Service)

Representivity: As part of the transformation process in the SAPS, an objective is that the personnel compilation reflects the country’s demographics with regard to race and gender. The Employment Equity Act 55 of 1998 aims to ensure that suitable people from designated groups are equally represented in all occupational levels and categories. This is experienced as discrimination and a lowering of standards by the White male participants:
‘When it came to the selection of new HP members, the emphasis shifted from high standard to “representivity”. A lot of members left the unit for other units in the SAPS or better jobs in the private sector. Unfortunately, members who were selected because of their race and not their expertise replaced these members. This obviously created a lot of distrust and conflict within the unit. I just didn’t feel confident working with a member who didn’t have the same level of training than we did. As time went by, the unit went into a downward spiral.’ (Participant A, member of South African Police Service)

Unclear line of command and/or cumbersome organisational structure: Another change in the SAPS that is associated with the transformation of the organisation is an unclear line of command or a cumbersome organisational structure. Participants experience the command structure as cumbersome, clumsy and uncontained in a managerial sense:

‘I don’t really know how it happened but suddenly our unit commander had less of a say in our duties. Other officers at Area and
Provincial level decided what we had to do.’ (Participant C, member of South African Police Service)

The effect of the change: All participants experienced the recent changes in the organisation as negative. In contrast to the sense of meaning and purpose that was associated with the job of policing in the past, participants currently question the meaning of their function:

‘We were being used more and more as a show-unit and not what we were trained for (combatting of serious crime). We were not allowed to respond to any complaints or crime in progress, even if we were in the immediate vicinity. This was very frustrating and demoralising for all of us.
Crime was rife in X, but we had to drive behind a bus ... or stand at stationary points on the highways. This instruction shocked me. How could anyone who says that he is serious about reducing crime in this country, issue an instruction like that? Was this man involved in crime himself and
was he trying to get us out of the way? All these questions were going through my head as I was trying to make sense of this. We actually worked these insane duties for nine months. During this period I could hear crimes in progress being broadcast and the operator battling to find vehicles
to respond to these complaints, but we were not allowed to respond. The crime rate escalated. Instead of putting our unit to the use it was intended for, new units were started with new vehicles. Do the SAPS have too much money or is it managed by a bunch of morons?’ (Participant A, member of South African Police Service)"


2. Cop stress-level time bomb

"South Africa’s police service could have a potentially explosive problem on its hands if high stress levels within its ranks are not dealt with urgently.
With an estimated 90 percent of physically injured police officers suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and the SAPS “mirroring” South African society, which, according to studies, has an estimated 15 percent of citizens suffering from anxiety disorders such as PTSD, police management and researchers fear that ticking time bombs within their ranks may soon explode."

3. SAPS wasting millions on extended sick leave

"Tax payers are coughing up millions for hundreds of members of the South African Police Service (SAPS) who have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), some of whom have already been on paid sick leave for as long as seven years, the trade union Solidarity said today. In addition, these members are now forced to report for duty, where they are not only endangering their own lives, but also the lives of others. If they do not report for duty, they payment of their salaries is halted."

Friday, January 23, 2015

Day 195: Writing a Blog part 5



"So with blogging one is also walking a process or steps that one applies and fine tunes until you are comfortable with writing the type of blog you would like to write. Within blogging the topic that one chooses to write about will also be a process, meaning if one is using blogging/writing to explore oneself - then you are getting to know the tools of self exploration to be able to get to the relevant information and application required to change. If one is using blogging to write about how you see world problems and possible solutions - then again it will require a process of getting to know ones subject, and the layers of information around how this problem/issue came to be - and then getting to know ones solution and how the solution could/would be applied to the problem. Meaning there is no black or white template when it comes to exploring the world systems other than using some common sense and questioning how things work. So as a summary what I am saying is that when one begins blog writing realise that you are exploring how to write  blog - how to publish it (if one chooses to do so) and how to expand ones writing from there and take care of ones public profiles where one shares the writings - while at the same time developing the skills within the type of writing one is doing. Which will bring us to the next topic - what is it that you would like to write about?"



Alright so lets split blog writing into 2 - the one type of blog being 'world events and solutions' and the second type being 'personal change/process points'. In this blog we will discuss the first type 'world events and solutions'. So for those of you who have been following the Desteni blogs on for example the Living Income Guaranteed, have realised that behind these blogs obviously goes quite a bit of research and developing ones ability to address issues of the world, by firstly finding them (research) and secondly taking what is writing about the point - meaning the problems and suggested solutions apart, using ones own understanding of effective solutions to compare and assess what would be the best solutions to the problem. Obviously to work with the 'solutions' part - here one would already be seeing an effective approach such as Living Income Guaranteed which one is able to draw comparisons to.

Now this is where many people say they get stuck - firstly for most getting over the self-doubt is the biggest problem, where 'voices in the head' start telling you that your writings wont be good enough, they wont make sense, people will laugh at your attempts etc etc. Therefore firstly as I mentioned in the previous blogs - one is to realize that this kind of self talk is due to an underlying mind pattern that one has developed over the years, probably even since childhood - where memories of past events now determine how one experiences yourself. Therefore the end result of for example self doubt, self victimisation, self bullying, low self esteem etc - will be these irrational fears and phobias such as 'what if I am not able to write a blog'. Therefore the fear itself from within the mind - comes up and overwhelms us, and if we believe the fear, then we believe this overwhelming experience is real and that there is no solution. This is what we call 'getting stuck in the mind.'

Artwork: https://www.facebook.com/andrewgableart
As I mentioned in the previous blogs, to overcome these self created belief systems and fears, as a immediate solution, I suggest developing and embracing an understanding that these aspects one have created within self, firstly is not real, because it is an irrational fear, and secondly is something that you are able to change - if you apply the steps to change them. For myself when I started writing - I could hardly string one sentence together and from there had the support to develop how I saw things and how to place that into writing. So no - it is not an instant thing and depending on your self created belief systems, you might have to apply yourself in common sense by stopping the abusive thoughts that do not serve you - while taking the ultimate self directive step to practise those things you believe you could not do. Obviously here it is about baby steps - to not overwhelm yourself or confirm your paranoia by go all for it, not getting it right and then proving to your beliefs that yes you could not do it. If this happens then know that you have created a lets call it 'self fulfilled prophecy' where you sabotaged yourself to get back to the same point you came from...

Monday, January 12, 2015

Day 194: Writing a Blog part 4


" I mean if we had to really sit with a religious Deity we probably would not be able to open our mouths other than 'Hi how are you' because we know that what exist in the mind as our real thoughts and experiences are not really what we would like our god or deity to be privy to. So we create a separation between ourselves and the imaginary deities we worship in our minds - how odd. The deity only exist in the mind and therefore one is not even equal to this fictional character you create in the mind that is supposedly holding your moral compass. Boy oh Boy. Any way - so my point being that we believe our thoughts to such an extent that we don’t question them - to the extent that through these thoughts and belief systems we will compromise our lives. So in tackling this project of 'writing' one is taking on what exist inside oneself and questioning where ones thoughts, belief systems, ideas and fears come from."

So as I have mentioned in a previous blog about consumerism versus the human mind - we see it as completely normal teaching our children our warped ideas about ourselves and each other. After a while as the self identities become infused into the mind as personalities - it becomes very difficult for these belief systems to be undone - because even if a person realises their own belief systems do them harm - they have become the belief system to the extent that the mind is the directive principle of the person, this even f the person says 'wait a minute I don’t want to live with these thoughts in my head' - to step out of it is very difficult because the mind possessed the person always back into the same programming.


So just like a machine or robot - if the program engages the person is automatically responding and moving - even though inside oneself you don’t want to keep living like that. This is something all people battle with to some extent - until one realises how the mind works and how and what one should start applying within oneself to get back to self directing the mind as a tool and not the other way around. This de-programming as we sometimes call it is requires walking of a 'process' - meaning finding the information and the techniques necessary to delete/change the program. This is what we refer to as a process - lol - which some have equated to what Hitler would do - rounding people up and either brainwashing them or executing them for not being like who we want them to be. Therefore the reason why I share this - is because some people hear the words process and see what I have described above instead of what the word process actually simply refer to - a set of steps and information required to change something or bring something into being.

Artwork by: Andrew Gable
So with blogging one is also walking a process or steps that one applies and fine tunes until you are comfortable with writing the type of blog you would like to write. Within blogging the topic that one chooses to write about will also be a process, meaning if one is using blogging/writing to explore oneself - then you are getting to know the tools of self exploration to be able to get to the relevant information and application required to change. If one is using blogging to write about how you see world problems and possible solutions - then again it will require a process of getting to know ones subject, and the layers of information around how this problem/issue came to be - and then getting to know ones solution and how the solution could/would be applied to the problem. Meaning there is no black or white template when it comes to exploring the world systems other than using some common sense and questioning how things work. So as a summary what I am saying is that when one begins blog writing realise that you are exploring how to write blog - how to publish it (if one chooses to do so) and how to expand ones writing from there and take care of ones public profiles where one shares the writings - while at the same time developing the skills within the type of writing one is doing. Which will bring us to the next topic - what is it that you would like to write about?

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Day 193: Writing a Blog part 3




"For those of you who are not familiar with the Desteni tools, what I am able to recommend in relation to your doubts, ideas and fears - is to use breathing when these reactions come up to 'stop' them. You use breathing in this instance to stabilise yourself out of the reaction meaning - as an example lets say you have the thought come up 'well what is the point because I have been bad at writing since childhood'. The solution to any reaction you are having, is to assess for yourself whether what exists inside of you in that moment is what is best for you - is it you living to your utmost potential?"


The next step is to realize that these thoughts we have around our self judgments - are not what is best for us - therefore as who we really are - how can these things be real? They only exist within the mind if we start participating in them often, whereby we attach emotional values to them, after which the mind physical relationship will on a mind and physical level start responding according to these self beliefs. For example of one starts thinking that one is ugly, because you value societies definitions of 'ugly vs pretty' as something real and relevant and something that you judge yourself by - then this will be the beginning of thought constructs and emotional reactions one will develop over time. For example one will have an experience where usually as a young person we will through the developmental stages of our minds as 'thought processes' start considering the things people say and do around us, on television and what our parents do. Because a child's mind is so impressionable and like a 'sponge' - taking on everything around it - what happens is that a child's identity is developed by taking in the values, fears, beliefs, influences from those around them.

So if a child is exposed to people talking about ugly versus beauty (for example), then they too will start 'thinking' and processing this information - developing their own self beliefs and beliefs about others/the world. From here the thought processes become mind patterns, personalities and characters - which are then set and is who we are into adulthood. But, unfortunately because we live in a society where money moves due to consumerism and consumerism only works if you make sure people have needs around personal self judgments - and needs are only created if you create a impression in society of lack and want and a constant drive for the idea of self satisfaction through the ideas of less/more and that judgments of ones appearance and attainments are 'real'. Meaning where we don’t teach our children that they already are here, complete as the physical body, but that we must always strive to feel fulfilled in our thoughts and emotions/feelings and because we educate them about how to feel bad and incomplete. This then creates the 'normal' human comparing and judging and fearing that we are not experiencing ourselves as complete because the mind creates experiences all the time that cause one to talk shit about ourselves. I am fat, I am ugly, I am dumb, what if they think this of me, what if they don’t like me, what if I don’t do well in that, what if my clothes aren't good enough, I need to have money so I can buy this and that, I wont be happy until I have this and that, what if my husband doesn't think I am sexy…. And so the list goes on and on -with the strange things we program into ourselves.


Then we live the rest of our lives churning around in our minds trying to resolve all of these nasty thoughts that are not what is best for all and is most certainly from my perspective not 'who we really are' For example I would like each religious person who claims they look up to some form a deity to sit next to that deity and let out all the weird belief systems in the mind. For example would you ask Jesus why he hasn’t bought new sandals because his old sandals make him look very uncool? Would you say to Jesus that if he ever wants to get laid he will go and get his dam hair cut into a style that is just like Justin Bieber's? Would you ask Jesus by he doesn't drink because that makes him uncool to be around? Would you ask Jesus if he wants to go shopping and leave his old robe for trendy stuff that will make him fit in? Would you take Jesus to a party and expect him to get trashed and talk shit and try and get laid? Would you tell Jesus to get 2 credit cards, maxed out, so that he could have a nice house in the suburbs with a nice big 4X4, while pretending he is happy, smiling to the nneighbors while really worrying all the time that he cannot pay his bills? Would you try to justify to Jesus why it is really ok to watch pornography? I mean if we had to really sit with a religious Deity we probably would not be able to open our mouths other than 'Hi how are you' because we know that what exist in the mind as our real thoughts and experiences are not really what we would like our god or deity to be privy to. So we create a separation between ourselves and the imaginary deities we worship in our minds - how odd. The deity only exist in the mind and therefore one is not even equal to this fictional character you create in the mind that is supposedly holding your moral compass. Boy oh Boy.


Any way - so my point being that we believe our thoughts to such an extent that we don’t question them - to the extent that through these thoughts and belief systems we will compromise our lives. So in tackling this project of 'writing' one is taking on what exist inside oneself and questioning where ones thoughts, belief systems, ideas and fears come from...

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Day 192: Writing a Blog part 2

Continuation from:



From the previous blog:


"This part is about understanding that if one finds writing to not 'come naturally' that there are steps and techniques one can use to get to that same level of writing that ones sees others are able to do - which for al of us involved in writing meant practicing each step bit by bit until we were confident and actually started enjoying writing. So in the parts to come I will be focusing on the different tools and considerations that I am able to share within 'Blog Writing'…"


Artwork by: Andrew Gable
Alright now that we have discussed the experiences of self doubt in relation to whether one is able to write a blog, let us take a look at the next step which is to now structure, for oneself the 'how to' of blog writing - meaning for us to take a look at what type of blog one would like to write and according to this I will share the different tools I have utilised, together with the tools I have seen others using over the years.

First things first - lets step back for a moment and recap on the previous blog - did you notice any reactions or thoughts come up inside of you as you read the first blog? Could you relate? If so how? Here it is handy to have paper and pen or your computer ready to jot down your experiences. For example when I say 'Reactions' - this could be in the form of a thought, an emotion/feeling or a physical reaction. Did you have a thought come up as you were reading or afterwards, such as 'well I have always been bad at writing, even since school'. Did you have an emotional or feeling reaction such as 'uneasiness, depression, sadness, anxiety' or even a positive feeling in relation to moving away from the point of writing a blog - where one would start thinking about rather watching a move and this made you move from the initial lets say slight bit of anxiety, to 'feeling good, feeling content' at the thought of 'rather watching a movie' Perhaps you had a physical reaction such as a heavy feeling in your stomach or tiredness - again as with the emotion or feeling you will find a thought behind it such as 'why bother' or 'if I start writing now people will see that my writing is quite inefficient and judge me'.

So here one is letting go of 'ideas' and 'judgments' that you have of yourself. Obviously this would make a great first topic for a blog - getting to know the reasons behind why one has never written either publically or privately. Now for those of you who are familiar with the Desteni tools and would like to work more with yourself, your judgments, fears, belief systems etc - we have our free online course: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/. This course will show you how to further develop your writings, it will introduce to you the tools we utilise called self forgiveness, self honesty, self corrective statements etc.

For those of you who are not familiar with the Desteni tools, what I am able to recommend in relation to your doubts, ideas and fears - is to use breathing when these reactions come up to 'stop' them. You use breathing in this instance to stabilise yourself out of the reaction meaning - as an example lets say you have the thought come up 'well what is the point because I have been bad at writing since childhood'. The solution to any reaction you are having, is to assess for yourself whether what exists inside of you in that moment is what is best for you - is it you living to your utmost potential?

Friday, January 2, 2015

Day 191: Writing a Blog Part 1


A subject that often comes up for the people whom participate with at Desteni or in our online courses such as DesteniIProcess Lite and DesteniIProcess Pro - is how to write a blog. Now this in itself might sound easy, but for most of us writing does not necessarily come easy, especially when one takes an interest in exploring oneself, others or our world systems through writing. This is where many have said (and myself included) that they just don’t know how to bridge the gap between casual writing and more explorative, specific writing which entails looking into deeper designs and details around the particular subject you have decided to write about.

For example, many people express to me that they read the blogs written by people (such as in the Desteni group) and instead of them being struck with inspiration to get started and follow the example - they are left feeling resistant and 'blank' with anxiety. Some have said to me that they do not have writing skills and therefore surely cannot write like the people who's blogs they admire. I then explain to people that for most of us writing from the point of almost not even being able to write an introduction paragraph to more complex blogs with headings and sub topics - took years of practise and more practise.

Something important to take note of here - which I have noticed many people are not aware of: yes some people are born with a natural 'talent' or ability for writing. This is the same as for any other ability - I might be good with my hands to physically take something and work with it while another person might be 'programmed' mathematically - meaning give them something physical to do and they find themselves unable to grasp how to go about it - but give them a mathematic equation to work out and they shine. Same applies the other way around - the person who is born to work with their hands might be completely stumped if asked even the basic mathematical question. We are all like this, different in our strengths and weaknesses. This is what we call pre-programming - each human coming into this world with different programmed designs. From my perspective, neither one really being more important or less important than another - they simply 'are'. Only in our monetary system have we equated skills according to specific values according to what money revolves around that particular skill - and have all brainwashed ourselves to believe that through this some skills are more valuable or even relevant than others.

Children will for example often select skill sets that are either pushed onto them by their parents or that which they see themselves enjoying. Either way monetary rewards are usually a consideration in the choices we make when we pursue a particular career or develop a particular skill set. Even the reward system of 'winning' and 'loosing' such as what one sees in sports etc - these are still part of the same monetary reward system - where instead of bank notes, one is rewarded with and every experience or one looses 'energy', such as 'feeling elated or proud versus depressed or sad - the one being a more 'up' type energy that surges into the body from the mind as the more positive energy experience and the opposite polarity would be a dropping of energy as one 'gives away ones money (energy) in the perception of loss to another. This will be experienced as sadness, depression, numbness, 'what is the point' etc.

So in this blog series - which will be over a few parts - I wanted to share what I have come to see and realize about blog writing. These insights and tools I suggest don’t only have to be applied to and by someone walking the Desteni tools, it can be used by any person who has an interest in writing/blogging but is not sure of how to expand themselves to be able to write the same as somebody they admire.

This part is about understanding that if one finds writing to not 'come naturally' that there are steps and techniques one can use to get to that same level of writing that ones sees others are able to do - which for al of us involved in writing meant practising each step bit by bit until we were confident and actually started enjoying writing. So in the parts to come I will be focussing on the different tools and considerations that I am able to share within 'Blog Writing'...

In the meantime if you want to check out some examples of Blogs such as what I am refering to:  https://www.facebook.com/7yearjourneytolife

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Day 190: Family Dynamics - the drama continues! (part 3)

Continuing from:




The second move that I watched was very similar - I really got a good dose of American feel good drama. It is called 'The Skeleton Twins (2014)' and focuses around the relationship of a brother and sister, starting with the brother trying to commit suicide over his depression, after which the sister invites him to go stay with her and her partner. From there the story develops around his experiences - but also starts showing that the sisters life is not so perfect because again - here comes in the factor of her having affairs left right and centre and general dissatisfaction with her life, which towards the end of the movie places strain on their sibling-relationship which comes to blows and obviously towards the end in true Hollywood style they 'forgive each other' and all is good again.

Interesting, if these movies were to show 'self forgiveness' and changing Self instead of forgiving 'others' and 'moving on'- then obviously people would be bored out of their skulls and it would not be called 'entertainment' because currently our entertainment as I have indicated shows where we are within our current expression within the mind - because what entertains us shows us about what exist in each one of us. Not a pretty picture.

What stands out a lot about this second move, is how we again simply accept things, don’t question things and take life for granted. How pre-designed rules of conduct pre-determine how each person 'must' live. But what stands out clearly in both movies is that if you simply follow societal acceptable 'norms' - in the end all of these people 'secretly' rebelled against these norms and ended up causing harm to themselves and others, simply because the results of 'following' norms and acceptable behaviour had the result of for example people cheating, lying, stealing. So what came first the chicken or the egg? Meaning what came first the human as irresponsible requiring societal norms and rules, or did we as hand full of people establish rules and norms according to what appeared like normal behaviour and this has simply never been questioned. Which means that all of us are to afraid to question 'norms', are to afraid to simply say 'ok I am not happy within this relationship' or in this job etc - I want to create change for myself...' Instead we end up with things like affairs and depression and suicide - because nobody wants to change?

If we don’t change ourselves as the norms and rules and dishonesty we accept inside of ourselves but keep doing things in secret inside ourselves - then how do we ever expect for things 'out there' to get better? I mean on the surface as this movie again reminded me -we put on our best faces, pretend to be happy in our marriages etc - but behind closed doors there are whole other realities playing out for people. We are to afraid to speak up about what really exist inside of us as our secret desires and wants. Then we really act them out - but pretend we don’t. Society in 'real-time' gets harmed by what we really do to each other and ourselves -and then we claim nobody can be trusted and we continue accepting societal rules and norms! Huh?

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Day 189: Family Dynamics - the drama continues! (part 2)

Continuing from:

Day 188: Family Dynamics - the drama continues! (part 1)

So basically this move starts out with estranged, pissed off, resentful family members coming together because of a dying fathers wish` and then for the 7 days that they 'mourn together' these family members bicker and fight and at times physical climb into each other. So my first question was why sit in a room with people you dislike (they even admit that they do not like each other) all for a man who is dead? Here obviously the belief exists that a dead person is now siting in some afterlife holding you accountable for whether you follow through on his wishes or not. Does this change the fact that while he was alive the family were distant and angry with each other? No of course not - it does not change the circumstances before the man died and certainly did not change the way that the person died (usually from some disease like Cancer). So again a belief directed people instead of us directing ourselves.

Ok so now one would argue that the family were driven to communicate and try and sort out their issues because of the circumstances around the fathers death. Yes but why must we as human beings apparently wait until we emotionally manipulate ourselves into changing - because that is what we are doing if a persons approaching death is the reason for us to do something.

Therefore this story shows us how self absorbed we are as human beings and how we are driven by guilt and fear and resentment and tradition - which shows that this is what we are as the essence of ourselves.

Ok so now the family are together and they are in the room for 10 mins and the fighting starts. Is this how we 'honour' the memory of a dead person - with our emotional turmoil that takes precedence -again showing the layers of self interest that exist as the human. I mean why do we then do these types of ceremonies if all we are there to do is take center stage with our emotion al turmoil?


Now as the story unfolds - you see that each person is trapped in some form of a drama - there is cheating and lying and money grabbing etc etc. Again I sit there and I have to ask myself the question. I know that I don’t participate that much in the system with people, but boy oh boy how much of what is depicted in these movies really happens to and by people and why do we find this entertaining? So 2 questions came up in me - how much of this is based on real life stories? I mean towards the end of the movie every one of the family members was having an affair. I was like WHAT?? Ok so if this is slight dramatization - lets say of even 40 percent of it was true,  - then that is seriously messed up. Yikes. Next question was why do we find this entertaining - the nastiest of human behaviour? I mean for me as someone who studies and wants to understand the human mind and human behaviour it was, as this blog indicates a lesson about human behaviour and also about the human mind and entertainment. I did not enjoy the movie in the least because as I have now summarized it was about decrepit human behaviour, which is encapsulated in the family system into acceptable dramatic behaviour - which sorry to say is not only Hollywood 'dramatization'. This is what happens in many family environments - an outlet for emotional and reactive mind patterns, in an environment where you get away with it because of a belief that family must take each others 'stuff' and allow each other an acceptable platform for being 'who they are'. Ouchy.

Day 188: Family Dynamics - the drama continues! (part 1)

A few weeks ago I did a vlog about family dynamics and the how through using the Desteni tools I have changed myself within my family dynamics or 'design': Day 177: Transforming Family Dynamics: Sibling Relationships. This morning I watched 2 movies - both them focussed around family dynamics and the usual 'feel good American Drama'. You know the kind of movie where for an hour and a half all you see is chaos, fighting, lying, betrayal and emotional conflict and yet in the last 10 mins of the move they manage to leave the viewer 'feeling' like 'everything will be 'alright' and like everyone in the movie despite their despicable behaviours will be 'ok'. So - these 2 movies were exactly like that, jam packed with intense emotional baggage and the usual family bickering and drama and yet towards the end of both movies the directors after all of that attempted to make me experience warm fuzzy feelings - because together with the 'negative emotions' this is the full package of human emotions  -of what we experience on a day to day basis.

Let me give a basic summary of what each movie was about. The first one was called 'This is where I
leave you (2014).' Basically it is about a family who come together at the dying wishes of the father. The father wants all of the children after his death to stay together for a week and celebrate his death through some Jewish ceremony where from what I understood everyone sits around in a room for a week, eating and sharing stories about the father (don’t quote me I am simply drawing from what I saw lol).  From the beginning as all of the children arrive - you notice one thing. That everyone hates each others guts, have long standing issues with each other over past mistakes and are in conflict with the mother because she is controlling and walks around half the time with her silicone boobs popping out - which obviously the children find 'unsuitable behaviour'. Each of the family members are stuck in their own life drama, which intertwines with the conflict and drama that exist within the family system. So you have layers of information around people's personal lives and the drama that ensures as soon as these family members are in the same room.

So my first question is 'why?'. This was something that I spoke about in the vlog on family dynamics, to discuss and bring to the fore the purpose of why family members come together in the first place. It becomes a 'cesspool' for emotional-mind drama, where obviously very little is resolved and throughout the entire movie most of what happens is that people fight and contribute to each others emotional issues. Obviously towards the end of the move Hollywood uses hope and 'positive' feelings to draw the movie to a conclusion - where as per holywood style the family members find resolution within the problems they are facing - not all of them good. Most of the points that come across are about yet again 'accepting ones life'.

In the vlog as I mentioned I spoke about the cesspool of human behaviour which becomes the family unit. Where we automatically assume and believe that because we were born from the same parents we should al be together and 'do stuff together'. This shows us that belief systems are really not of much value in this physical reality, because by holding onto belief systems we will act in ways and accept behaviours from ourselves and others, which as the movie shows is obviously not 'what is best' for us - and continue to make decisions that flow from the original starting point  - which in this case is the belief that family must spend time together, do things together and 'want to be with each other'.

From my experience this usually results in people venting their emotional reactions towards each other, especially when people's personality-mind designs are similar or specifically in conflict with each other - but through the belief of 'we must want to be together' people stay and are constantly drawn to each other, when clearly it is not a good match.


For example in the vlog I spoke about how we would not walk up to a stranger on the street and say ok 'I must want to be with you in your life and you must be with me' and thereafter that no mater what, you and this stranger will be in each others lives, seeing each other often, getting in each others faces, whether it is actually productive or not. Generally, we don’t do that - because if we do not 'like' or 'get along' with a stranger we simply ignore them and walk away. We become friends and partners with those people whom we have specific connections with and whom we believe we are 'enjoying'. Obviously friendship and relationships also have their own design, which I will not go into in this blog - and as such will focus on 'family dynamics'...

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