Monday, March 2, 2015

Day 202: Experiencing Trauma Part 2 | Nervous Breakdown

Continuation from:



These blogs are based on the following Interview:



"Eventually my paranoia turned into sleep walking, where after an evening of sleeping over at a friends house, my friend would tell me the next morning that they were woken up in the middle of the night to noises coming from the kitchen. There lol they would find me unpacking their kitchen cupboards mumbling to myself. This sleep walking also happened at home where my mom and dad would often find me wandering up and down the passage way and often when they would go to bed they would find me sitting by their bedroom door. I would of course not remember any of this the next morning…"

Then In school I had a nervous breakdown: what happened was that a school bully turned his attentions onto me for months. Eventually my mind tried to cope with this experience and projected it outwards onto something else I could be afraid of. I mean if I look back at it now, a child who was relatively stable probably would have been ok, but my mind was very inverted, very unsure and it was as if my platform within my mind for being able to handle stress was simply not there or simply had no stable foundation. Therefore I started developing an intense fear of thunder storms - yes you heard me thunder storms. I remember one day my mom was late picking me up from school and when she did arrive hours later I was completely alone, no other child or car anywhere to be seen. I was standing on the side walk in front of the school sopping wet afraid that my mother was not going to pick me up. The fear of abandonment, of a parent going away was so fresh in my mind that this moment where my mother was late sent me into a new trauma which obviously my mind could not deal with. My mother finally arrived and off we went. On our way home due to all the rain and flooded roads our car broke down. Some people stopped and gave us a lift to their house where we waiting for my father to fetch us. My father took a very long time to come and fetch us (was probably only an hour but to me it felt very long) and I remember in my mind I was worried that he would not arrive or at least wondering 'why it was taking so long'. This whole dynamic really messed with my young mind - it was slowly unbalancing me.

The next day I wake up and it is cloudy outside. As I get up and prepare for school a weird kind of panic sets into my young mind and body and my mind starts explaining that I cannot go out into the rain. I told my mom but knew that she would not understand so also told her that I was not feeling well. The next day the same thing happened where I woke up and even though it was sunny I was completely paralysed with fear. My mother tried persuading me to go to school but I started crying hysterically mumbling about the weather and storms and that I just could not go out there. My mom and dad let me stay away from school for a few days and then realised they had a problem. Each morning they would try and coax me out of the house and I would literally grip onto the door frame and cry, begging them to not let me go 'out there where it might storm'. Eventually my parents saw a day when it was sunny and they convinced me probably with presents or something to get in the car so that they could take me to the doctor.

The doctor asked me some questions about what was going on in my life, in school and cleverly steered the conversation in the correct way to find out that a boy in my class had been bullying me for a few months. The school was contacted and the boy was removed to another class. Now the next step was to get me to the school 'councillor'. I don’t think this councillor was a councillor. It was simply the headmaster who stood as that role and pretended to know what a child needed. I am sure we all have some stories of people in the education or child care fields who really don’t know what they are doing and try and treat children according to their own frame of reference or some old school psychology method from the 1950's which would be found in the same textbooks as 'How to perform a Lobotomy'.

Anyway after speaking to me for a while and trying to tell me that everything was 'ok' he then said to me ok I am now going to say goodbye to my parents and go to my classroom. Of course complete fear overtook me and I immediately went and clung to my parents. Some how (cannot remember clearly) he gets me away from them and tells them to leave. Now I am in a complete state of panic and feel like my entire mind is collapsing in on itself. My parents start leaving and I remember just thinking of how to get to them, to not let them leave without me. I lie to the headmaster and tell him that I am ok but I just wanted to say bye to my parents properly. He agrees and I dash off crying like a mad thing, clinging like a monkey to my mom's dress. I am begging them not to leave me. At this stage my mother is crying because now she does not know what to do and the headmaster (realising he had been duped by a little kid) pulls me away from my mother picks me up and carries me in the opposite direction. As soon as my parents are out of sight he puts me down and tries to explain to me that I need to go to class. Shit I was completely beside myself. I beg and plead and I think at some stage I even threated him for 'taking him away from my parents' lol like he was some kidnapper. Anyways he was not going to be duped twice so he just said he is taking me to my class and there everything will be ok. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder and off we go - me crying and begging and screaming for all the world to hear. We get to just outside the class room and he puts me down.

Now my hysteria has subsided to at least just a cry, because now I know my class mates are just inside and can hear me plus I am getting very tired. He opens the door slightly and asks for the teacher to come out and he explains to her what has happened and that she must please take me in and help me get settled. Shame I tried to explain to her my dilemma and that she please needs to let me go to my parents but she did not fall for it lol. Anyways she leads me into the classroom and even though I was still crying and felt completely constricted with panic - all that was stopping me now from complete hysteria was all of these faces starring at me. The teacher tactfully explains that I was not feeling well and that they must all please be nice to me and make me feel welcome. She explained that they were actually in the middle of a test, but that she would help me. So she sat next to me and would ask me the question and whether I would get them right or wrong she would fill in the correct answers and made sure I passed the test.

Looking back at that whole situation now I again cannot fathom why these people did not send me to a child psychologist. I remember for months I was still traumatised by the 'weather' and I remember I would over the weekends refuse to leave the house if the weather looked unstable. If I was sitting in class towards the end of the school day I would simply stare out the window at the clouds. Just watch the clouds like a monster that was slowly, painfully turning from its dark corner to pounce. I would just sit there 'praying' to the skies, to please not storm on my way home. I was petrified that a storm might break out as I was leaving the school and I had to go 'out there' where I had minimal cover while I waited for my buss.

Day 201: Experiencing Trauma Part 1 | The Sleepwalker

The other day I was sitting in on an Eqafe Interview and I could completely relate to what was being discussed.

Releasing Trauma - The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Part 54



During the Interview I was looking back at my own experiences around childhood traumas, specifically around the years surrounding my fathers death. I had experiences great difficulty dealing with my fathers death for 2 reasons:

Firstly the fact that I knew he was going to die years before he died - let me explain. My father was a chain smoker. He developed a heart problem which was exacerbated by smoking. After my father had his first heart attack I remember the one day I went with when my father had a doctors appointment. I cannot remember how old I was then, but basically I was asked to sit outside the doctors room and wait while they talked. They left the door slightly ajar probably so that I would still be able to see my parents, not realizing that I could hear their conversation. So basically I heard the doctor tell my father that if he carried on smoking that eventually he would die from another heart attack - his heart was that weak. So as you can 'imagine' what shock this is for a young child to hear.

This became a burden which I carried with me for many many years probably up until the ager of about 28/29 when I was able to work with the information effectively to let it go. So for years I remembered what the doctor said and this settled itself into my mind and body as a perpetual fear that my father could die any day. Of course my father who also had depression, did not seem to concern himself with the doctors warnings and continued to chain smoke, which of course confirmed to me that any minute he was going to die. I don’t know why my father carried on chain smoking the way he did, whether it was because the addiction was to strong or because he did not care. I suspect that it was a combination of both points - meaning he had depression and from my own experience as I am sure other people are able to relate once in a 'depressive mind state' you pretty much become numb to what is happening around you and thus don’t 'care' about your life or even your health. Combine that with an additive personality or an addictive substance such as what most of us have experiences at some point or another and you are bound to end up with creating physical consequences due to the abuse of some form of substance or reckless behaviour.

Over the years my fear of my father dying turned into paranoia. If for example my father would not arrive back from work at a certain time, I would start fearing the worst and imagining (paranoia) all kinds of situations and that any minute we would get a phone call from the hospital. I would spend those evenings sitting near the windows to watch and see when his car would turn into the drive way, and when it did I would obviously feel immense relief. At least he was safe and with me - at least until tomorrow. This went on for years and eventually I started to develop a paranoid personality, where I would fear things like sleeping over at my sisters apartment or going for sleep overs at a friends house. I remember whenever a friend would invite me to a sleep over, I would be struck with anxiety and would try and first make excuses to get out of it. Therefore I rarely slept over and when I did I would often start becoming to paranoid (without understanding what was happening) that I would wait until my friend would fall asleep and then I would go and sit by the window and hope that some how my mom and dad knew that I was frightened and would come and fetch me.

Eventually my paranoia turned into sleep walking, where after an evening of sleeping over at a friends house, my friend would tell me the next morning that they were woken up in the middle of the night to noises coming from the kitchen. There lol they would find me unpacking their kitchen cupboards mumbling to myself. This sleep walking also happened at home where my mom and dad would often find me wandering up and down the passage way and often when they would go to bed they would find me sitting by their bedroom door. I would of course not remember any of this the next morning...

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Day 200: Writing a Blog part 9



"I suggested that she immediately note down in the form of a tree structure or flow chart what points she already knew about her subject. From this she could create a 'skeleton structure' to place into some sort of structure the information that she is already aware of as well as using this to now start the research process into getting a fuller picture of the subject you are dealing with. This 'structure would allow her to keep tabs of what she will be walking as blogs throughout the series and at any given time you are able to slot in new pieces of information that reveal themselves as you do your research."

Now you have started for example a tree structure or flow chart to assist yourself initially to lay down a basic foundation of points you have already seen you would like to discuss in blogs. This structure will allow you to at any given time as you go about your research slot in new topics you would like to discuss in future blogs. Interesting when I started studying Psychology one of the first module lessons consisted of simple tools to use throughout our studies. It is here that they showed us how to create for example tree structures and flow charts. This came in very handy throughout my studies. Here is an example of a 'tree structure'.




As you will see this is a very basic structure where I started pulling together points about capitalism. This is just an example to show how creating a basic structure for oneself allows you to first 'off-hand' just slot in what is off the top of your head, and from there you start researching more about the subject you want to explore - slotting in more topics as you go along. Other people may have different suggestions, so you may even think of emailing or messaging a person who's blogs you enjoy to ask them how they have gone about learning to blog and what if any structure do they use in their blogging. Some blogs might be simple and only require writing, whereas others such as writing about world problem/solutions might require more detailed research and preparation.

Next step as I indicated before is to start researching your subject. Here you are looking at the Internet or books. If you are using the Internet be aware of the difference between people's opinions and what is more substantial such as physical facts and research documentation. There are numerous websites that will present opinions, gossip and 'conspiracy theories'. So look out for the source of someone's information - try and draw your information from sources that are credible and sound. It is easy to get lost in a sea of information on the Internet that has been filtered from 'truth' to opinion/belief.

First Blog


I suggest in the first blog within a series to do an introduction on the topic you will be writing on. This way you prepare the way for what its is you will be discussing and why most importantly you have decided to address this subject. Often people who write blogs tend to forget who it is that we are speaking to. We are writing for ourselves yes, but the fact that we are placing these blogs on the internet means that we want to share our process with other people, therefore most importantly don’t forget that you are speaking mostly to people who have probably never considered your point of view. Or if they are familiar with the subject or your point of view, then still consider that you are wanting people to be at ease with your information, don’t assume that they will 'get it'. From my experience I have found that often if you throw one chunk of hard to grasp information at people with complex lingo, then more often than not people come back with questions and/or remarks. This also results in people attacking that which they do not understand, or simply ignoring it because mostly people don’t care to do their research lol - therefore if you loose them half way in, they will simply close the page. People do not want to work hard to read your blog - that is after all why we have the internet to make things more accessible -which results in the 'fast-food mentality when it comes to information sharing. So people want to get to a website that soothes the mind, meaning the information is clear/understandable and structured. I have found this myself, where due to questions on my blogs and vlogs I now see areas where I should have started right at the beginning, instead of speaking to people as if they already grasp parts of what I am saying.

Understanding what it is that you are reading


Sometimes you might come across information that literally boggles your brain. This happens to all of us, especially if one is not use to processing information. The brain and mind simply requires more practice and comprehension and processing of information, so again I suggest to not be put off by this. Take one piece of information and read it and if necessary (this is what I do) do a new google search on the same subject. Sometimes you will find that there are people who write more 'advanced' as they might themselves be an academic or over the years have gathered so much information about a subject that they forget they are sharing with people who have never really studied the subject before - which obviously relates to my previous point!

After you have searched for various descriptions of the subject and you found one that you understand, write it out in your own words so that you can see for yourself what it is that you still don’t fully grasp. You might find yourself reading something and then thinking 'what the hell'? For example you don’t necessarily expect yourself to read up on how does the American Economy function and get it the first time - so split the subject into Sub-Topics and Sub topics within that - taking on each part, writing it out and coming to grips with it.

Have fun with the topic


Remember what I shared in the first few blogs about practise and not creating expectations of yourself that place unnecessary pressure? I suggest see writing as something that you are developing within yourself - not a competition with others - so make it your own. Do it in the way that interests you, or even in a way that you see is missing from other people's writings and explore how to explain this subject/topic yourself in a way that you as the public reader will grasp and enjoy. You could use pictures and links to videos etc. Place yourself in the shoes of not only yourself, meaning being realistic about where you are at and how you process information, but also the shoes of others. Many people scoff at big subjects that they (we all) have come to believe is too much, to vast for us. So if you have taken this first step into exploring the world in blog writing, then you are already one step further. Also remember that one of the reasons why people don’t read and don’t educate themselves is because of the belief that it is too difficult or that we are not intellectually up to it. This is plain and simple brain washing of the masses to keep people thinking we are stupid and not good enough to question the system. Therefore you have dumbing down of the people who accept the system and themselves as workers for the system, without questioning that which we are starting to see does not make sense. So in writing lets explore ways of placing information in such a way that we educate everybody by explaining things clearly.

Looking off the top of your head for something to write about? Either research key points you already have an interest in or read other people's blogs and maybe write it in your own words or write how this particular topic pertains to the country you live in. Perhaps you see things in the blog that was left out or that you wondered about - expand on it as your blog and add a link in your blog to the other blog...

Friday, February 13, 2015

Day 199: I want my Demon!

Thus far I have been writing a blog series on How to write blogs, but I wanted to just quickly insert this blog, because it is a point that I have been noticing lately and have been wanting to do a blog on - so here goes.

This subject is specifically about the paranormal community - or what I have come to see as a community of people who are not interested in the truth of any particular subject, but who seek entertainment through creating Mental Disorders within themselves. Let look at the general definition of Para-normal which is: derived from the Latin use of the prefix para meaning "outside or beyond" what is considered normal. It is interesting because one definition of para is also abnormal - which ties in with my experience I have been having lately towards and in relation to the Paranormal community. Don’t get me wrong - I use to be obsessed with demons and ghosts myself, and if you had told me 10 years ago that ghosts no longer exist or that I am creating my own feelings of 'being followed by a ghost/demon' in my mind and in my body and that I was creating my own demon possession I would have also laughed in your face and yelled 'I want my Demon'. But what I have noticed lately is that the Paranormal community are not interested much in any form of truth. They want to feel Special through experiencing Abnormal mental states - I will walk an example with you in a minute:

Creating the Abnormal is obviously not limited to the Paranormal community - as this is a human trend -something that through our behaviour and addiction to media and social networks - has become who we are as the way we talk, behave and the things we as humans give value to in general. I mean if you look at the things that people get up to and the things that are out there on social networks through which people get attention from others and how this is just getting more preposterous and desperate; - it definitely shows that in time the 'Abnormal Behaviour' section under 'Psychology' will either have to be expanded on in the DSM classification of Mental Disorders  OR we will have to remove classifications of Mental disorder and call everything 'Normal'.


My definition though of normal is different from what society classifies as normal. The things that abuse Life on this planet in various forms, has become 'normal' ways of 'being' - this is what we call 'being human'. From my perspective to be this is abnormal behaviour if I consider that we as humanity have greater potential that what we are currently living and most certainly what we are heading towards. Therefore to me 'normal behaviour' such as self honesty, self correction, self responsibility and self awareness is normal if I consider what principles I want to live by as a human, based on what potential I see exists for us, instead of accepting the Principles we currently live by as 'Humanity/Society'.

Ok - back to the Paranormal community. A few years back we started the Desteni group and along side that we decided to launch a Demonology website, to share our findings on demonology and the Afterlife. We created a forum and invited people to come and work through what they perceive to be demon/ghost possession/influence and get to the core of the Consciousness connection between 'Paranormal experiences' and the Mind of the 'experiencer'. At the time I was wondering how we will be able to handle the influx of people who are desperate to sort out their demon/paranormal experiences. Alas this did not happen and in fact the opposite happened - the paranormal community ran far far away.

For example - every now and again somebody will come to the Demonology website or forum and ask about a ghost or demon that they think is following them or trying to or is possessing them.

I walk them through a basic explanation that ghosts/demons no longer exist - other than what experiences are created within the Mind of the individual which always has a starting point in some past event/memory - and how the person is dealing with their live and environment. Thus the paranormal becomes the explanation as to why we are having dark thoughts, fantasies, illusions, fits of violence, the constant feeling like something wants to hurt us, depression, possession, the desire to escape their lives/minds, the desire to be special, to avoid real trauma and place the emphasis on trauma caused by a 'dark force' etc…

I then suggest reading/viewing material to further explain my point, and ask the person to come back to the forum when they are ready to start exploring their 'Paranormal' experience. This is where something truly paranormal does happen - the person disappears lol. Never to be seen again. Not sure if it is some vortex, triangle or enveloping shadow, but the person simply vanished. Odd.

Anyway - so in time I realised that the reason why I found it so strange that people did not want to come and learn the tools to become stronger and get to know their minds and how they created internal experiences, is because for a moment I forgot that I too once thought I was very special and unique when I was being followed by a demon. Looking back now of course I realize that in my past I was rather silly about these kinds of things and that my entire desire to interact with demons was an energy thrill that I was seeking, which gave me something to do - but also made me feel mysterious and different. I mean you could create quite a list of why we do the things we do, bit what I have found primarily is that people get a compete rush off of the strange, the exiting, that which gives us a kick - because it entertains the mind which has become more and more addicted to energy - vastly more so over the last 10-20 years.

So what I have found is that the Paranormal community create their experiences as a form of entertainment and in most cases it becomes about drawing an experience out for as long as you can. Therefore obviously it would be rather boring if a person had to admit that they are not demon possessed, but are actually possessing themselves - it is just not the same!

Unfortunately as I indicated above this is not only in the Paranormal community that we do this - it exists in many forms within Society - it is just that in the Paranormal community you can basically create anything you want and because everyone is doing it, people are not really going to question each others motives or evidence. In the paranormal experience you can believe in faeries, or UFO's or shadow men or vortexes etc… the list goes on. In the end what I found is that if one stops the addiction to the energy, then you will find that your mind - should I say 'you' will use your imagination less and less, because this is where the imagination comes in - it creates an image of something which you have read about or are aware of as being 'dangerous' or strange' and produces visions/flashes/pictures in relation to this imaginary 'danger' - and 'viola' from there your mind starts producing reactions and responses physically and mentally to this 'threat/problem'. And obviously if a paranormal event/issue' is caused by repressed emotions and repressed memories - then the mind will project its reactions onto this 'danger' that exist 'outside' of the person. Thus the mind gets to experience the emotions and reactions in relation to the danger, which for most also becomes part of an energy addictive pattern, but without facing the core problem. This mostly happens, because we have never been taught to look 'inside', but that our problems and reactions are due to other people or events. Therefore for the paranormal enthusiast - we are automatically trained to look outside ourselves for an inkling of a strange occurrence which could be responsible for our internal experiences...

Friday, February 6, 2015

Day 198: Writing a Blog part 8


"Through the years doing policing I was on the one side also investigating spirituality, and therefore I started becoming more sensitive so to speak to the experiences of both the criminal and the victim. But at that stage I did not yet have the skills to 'lift the veil' on how crime works beyond what I had come to accept from what is 'accepted' by society- I remember just feeling really uneasy around certain policing procedures. It was only years later joining Bernard here at Desteni that he assisted me in seeing more of how the system worked and most importantly how to use tools such as research and common sense to assess that which exist in the world. Therefore, that is what blog writing is about - it is not just about placing information you are already aware of onto paper, but a platform to practise tools of expansion within the topic you are interested in. That is why our DesteniIProcess courses are developed to slowly expand a person's self awareness - and the blogs we write about 'world problems' becomes a personal platform from which ones learns about common sense and investigating what exist as the current accepted systems of the world."


Al right - so lets start with exploring what type of blog you would be interested in writing. Seeing as I have been walking my own experience in the previous blogs on how I became interested in Criminology or the study of the 'fringe' areas of Criminology - I suggest we continue with the topic of 'world problems' where I walk you through some structures/suggestions for when you have a topic based on 'world problems and solutions' that you would like to explore. From there we will explore personal journal keeping style blogs where the focuses will be on 'self-improvement/self-help' topics.

As I mentioned in the previous blogs research is the key. This is where many people find themselves getting stuck - because of the *Fear and *Self created beliefs that you have created around the point of writing, explorative writing and the placement of information and ones own perspectives onto paper.

The first question we ask ourselves is 'what world problems and solutions' would I like to address in my blogs? Perhaps you are interested in one particular 'world problem' such as 'world economies' or 'child abuse' or the 'psychology behind consumerism' or perhaps you might find yourself wanting to explore various issues you have noticed, thus practising your ability to expand in research and developing common sense insights. In the end all of these blogs will basically come down to the same structures, the difference will be how far you are willing to go in opening up any particular subject. For example some people are keen on addressing/writing about a subject but once they start reading about it they find that this subject is vast in its history and influence on the world. Some subjects are interconnected to other subjects and thus the fun and the effort then goes into exploring these various lines of information. For example - going back to the 3 examples I gave above as possible 'single: topics: 'world economies', 'child abuse' and 'the psychology behind consumerism'. For those who have already started exploring world system, you might have noticed something - that these 3 topics are already interconnected. How? Through for example our money system. Therefore as one starts researching the world economic system of capitalism, you will notice that many forms of child abuse exist due to a market existing for it - such as child trafficking, child pornography, child modelling (which is a sub topic of child pornography), medicating of children, child entertainment etc… So this ties in with the seller in a capitalistic system using a product to sell to a market to make a profit. Therefore the Life of a Child or a human or an animal is no longer Life, but a commodity for profit and that is how Capitalism functions as per the Principles according to which it exists. Then on the flip side to understand how and why a market exists for something one must explore the 'psychology behind consumerism' - therefore one will start to explore why somebody would watch child pornography but also why people will disregard the Life and the rights or the child for personal self interest (both from the consumer and seller perspective)?

Therefore, as you are able to see everything in the world is connected in some way or another - therefore the fun part about blogging is that we are able to draw lines between points and obviously this is where you create a series around one particular subject.

Therefore, if you realize that a particular subject might be quite big and interconnected - you might face an experience of 'oh no this is to much'. I spoke to somebody a while back who said that they were interested in taking on this one particular 'Crime against Life' which they had noticed playing out within Society - something which on the surface people hardly noticed as a problem (as with most things), however if you look 'behind the scenes' at how this thing came into being, the effects on people's lives and the secretiveness behind its existence - you soon realize the reality of its existence. The person I was chatting with said that they were keen to work on this subject and share with the public what she had seen, BUT as she dug deeper and deeper over time, she started feeling slightly overwhelmed by the vast amount of history, facts and lines of information between this one subject and other world system designs. Therefore where this person before had worked with singular subject blogs or blog that would span over maybe 2 or 3 parts, now she was faced with a blog series that would potentially be massive. Instead of this evoking a sense of enthusiasm within her - lol - it in fact had the opposite effect - she started feeling overwhelmed by the subject and ultimately resistance caused her to not even start in the first place.

I suggested that she immediately note down in the form of a tree structure or flow chart what points she already knew about her subject. From this she could create a 'skeleton structure' to place into some sort of structure the information that she is already aware of as well as using this to now start the research process into getting a fuller picture of the subject you are dealing with. This 'structure would allow her to keep tabs of what she will be walking as blogs throughout the series and at any given time you are able to slot in new pieces of information that reveal themselves as you do your research.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Day 197: Writing a blog part 7



"The reason why I shared my time line of experiences to how my interest in Criminology developed was to show that sometimes one has experience in a subject, from which the interest grows, but sometimes you only have a small interest in a subject which comes from for example an awareness or from reading articles on the internet. Either way from here if ones decides to pursue the subject - it takes a bit of research to familiarise oneself with the subject - therefore 'Research is the key'."

Working in the South African Police force and studying Criminology, obviously left me with a very black and white view to Criminal Behaviour - where a criminal is bad and the police catch criminals. Thanks to the work that I have been doing for the last few years I was able to start bridging the gap more between the understanding that currently exist in Criminology of 'what makes a criminal' to the grey areas that nobody in society really wants to talk about - such as if people steal because they don’t have an income - why are we creating and supporting a money system that excludes certain people from receiving their basic living requirements? Therefore you could say I became interested in the 'fringe psychology' within criminology where unfortunately Capitalism has very much set the precedent for how criminology exists. I mean from my perspective you could say that Criminology as all studies in the world is 'in the pocket of the Capitalists' - therefore how can you really study Criminology if you are never allowed to really look at and speak about the real causes of Criminal behaviour.


Things that society rely upon such as the current money system which is based on inequality and abuse and a consumerist system based on Psychological system such as addiction to energy - if we never address these problems we don’t sort out the reason why people commit crimes. But because the entire human idea of existence relies on the value systems within the mind which ties in with consumerism - you will find that most Criminalists will stick to the main stream acceptable discussions and fields of study about Crime - but never dig deeper. For example everyone learns about for example 'crimes being committed because the person was poor or could not feed themselves or desires wealth' and then BAM the information literally stops there. So I have made it my field of interest to continue looking underneath the surface stuff. It was a few years ago that in conjunction with the work that I do with Life Coaching and the Living Income Guaranteed proposal - that myself and others who do the same thing decided to study Psychology to develop an understanding of how the more acceptable 'system' definitions and studies into the Human Mind works to see where we can improve on the acceptable understandings oh the Human Psyche. In this I selected Criminology as my Minor. So from this my blogs have been a focal point on looking underneath the 'surface' stuff where normal Psychology and Criminology stops.

Therefore in relation to the discussion of writing blogs - this is the first point I want to bring across for those interested in Blog Writing - whether it is about the World System and its Problems or about Self and Self Change - either way we are writing blogs in such a way to 'lift the veil' so to speak on 'what is out there' and 'what exist within' from what one understands about any given topic based on what has been published on the internet/books/research material. As I mentioned before, in a consumerist/capitalist based Psychology - most fields of study are linked into how the Mind is 'perceived to work' and from this perception we must understand that how we have been taught things work is not necessarily how they work. So in blog writing - we address the real way in which things work where you learn how to start questioning the information that is 'out there' and how this information works in the bigger picture -meaning developing the understanding that the information itself is part of a bigger design in essentially - yes I am going to say it - the controlling of the human being to exist within specific behaviours and allowances which serve specific groups to achieve specific goals. Be it from the Consumerist system to Politics to general control of the pollution - all of these 'domains' - which are seemingly invisible to the trusting populous - you will find if you do some research and start questioning the information behind the information - will reveal to you the Design of the World System…

Therefore, for me an interest opened up while doing policing and observing the effects of Crime on Society - at that stage I had a sympathy for some criminals, as I could see with limited insight that they came from tough lives and therefore in some cases I felt out right uncomfortable stopping and searching people or acting like a big tough cop and questioning people about their whereabouts, Especially considering that in the South African police force there are still many racist white policeman who enjoy the power trip of while wearing the uniform and gun, to use this as an opportunity to bully people from other colours.

Through the years doing policing I was on the one side also investigating spirituality, and therefore I started becoming more sensitive so to speak to the experiences of both the criminal and the victim. But at that stage I did not yet have the skills to 'lift the veil' on how crime works beyond what I had come to accept from what is 'accepted' by society- I remember just feeling really uneasy around certain policing procedures. It was only years later joining Bernard here at Desteni that he assisted me in seeing more of how the system worked and most importantly how to use tools such as research and common sense to assess that which exist in the world. Therefore, that is what blog writing is about - it is not just about placing information you are already aware of onto paper, but a platform to practise tools of expansion within the topic you are interested in. That is why our DesteniIProcess courses are developed to slowly expand a person's self awareness - and the blogs we write about 'world problems' becomes a personal platform from which ones learns about common sense and investigating what exist as the current accepted systems of the world.

Day 196: Writing a Blog part 6


"As I mentioned in the previous blogs, to overcome these self created belief systems and fears, as a immediate solution, I suggest developing and embracing an understanding that these aspects one have created within self, firstly is not real, because it is an irrational fear, and secondly is something that you are able to change - if you apply the steps to change them. For myself when I started writing - I could hardly string one sentence together and from there had the support to develop how I saw things and how to place that into writing. So no  - it is not an instant thing and depending on your self created belief systems, you might have to apply yourself in common sense by stopping the abusive thoughts that do not serve you - while taking the ultimate self directive step to practise those things you believe you could not do. Obviously here it is about baby steps - to not overwhelm yourself or confirm your paranoia by go all for it, not getting it right and then proving to your beliefs that yes you could not do it. If this happens then know that you have created a lets call it 'self fulfilled prophecy' where you sabotaged yourself to get back to the same point you came from. The mind is very very sneaky this way.  Unfortunately this is how we designed the protection systems of the mind to protect it which is 'us' as personalities."

On the topic of 'world events and solution,' I will share with you the approach that I used: My main interest as you may have noticed has been Criminology. How this all got started: when I finished high school, I studied horsemanship to follow a career eventually in managing or working at some form of horse farm or facility. After attaining this qualification I found it difficult to find the job that I was looking for so spent most of my time pottering around at home and doing the odd office job. Someone suggested to me to consider while I was looking for a job that I would find suitable to use my qualifications to support the South African Mounted Police - which similar to most countries is the division of the South African Police force that works on horseback. I followed the suggestion and went to see the Superintendent of the horse unit. I assisted them with grooming and exercising the horses and from there soon developed a friendship with all the members, after which they suggested to me to become a Reservist - where you volunteer your services to the police - and depending on what you want to get involved in you can either do more low key responsibilities or become trained same as the full time members to assist them with their policing tasks, as a normal paid member would be doing. I wanted to patrol on horseback and do what the full time members did - so I went for my firearm training and they trained me in the tactics and techniques one would need once you are 'out there' patrolling on horse back. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

I did this for 2 years after which time I was offered a job managing a horse farm. I did not want to still be working with or riding horses on the weekends so I took a break from the mounted police. After a while a friend of mine who moved from the mounted police to the uniform division (the 'normal' police stations) suggested to request for a transfer and then on my weekends off I could assist him for a few hours patrolling in the police vehicles and doing crime prevention. Once I was in that division of the police force it became compulsory for all reservist to receive training that the normal police members would receive as well - which made complete sense, because one is going out there arresting people and thus need to understand the law and the administration involved in policing. For 2 months I went to classes on the weekends and studies law and arrest procedures etc. This was also very enjoyable and I started developing more of an understanding of how the policing system worked.


I stayed at this unit for another 3 years working shifts with the members which involved responding to crimes, opening dockets, arrests etc - to the 'behind the scenes' policing which involved crime prevention and at times small under cover operations - which was a lot of fun - getting dressed up and playing certain roles to try and draw out criminals or extract information. So over the years I not only developed more of an understanding of the pressure that the police members are under but also that policing and criminology is unfortunately not really considering the full spectrum or perspectives of why crime exist. For example these people have to face traumatic events every day - either they themselves are placed in life threatening danger or they have to deal with people who have experiences crime to things like dead bodies, murder victims, abused children etc. Even for myself there were times when I faced points that were really difficult for me - such as dealing with/transporting the bodies of people who had killed themselves or been murdered, child abuse cases, animal abuse cases, people who were so traumatised by crime that they begged me to go and stay with me out of fear for their lives. There were some instances where I experiences post traumatic stress disorder (due to my more 'sensitive' personality design) and could not work for weeks, but this is obviously a 'luxury' which the normal members could not afford. I mean yes they had Psychologists they could see and they could be booked off work with PTSD, but in general this would only apply to extreme cases where the member as already showing signs of severe PTSD, where they could not function in their work capacity. This from what I found usually meant that the damage was already done - if a member got to the 'severe stages' and often I worked with members who were already at this stage, where their own lives deteriorated and either due to pride or ignorance they did not get the help they needed. I mean my one friend at the time who I worked with regularly has severe PTSD, but was only booked off work for months of counselling and rest when he finally one day pulled his weapon at the station on his colleagues…

The reason why I shared my time line of experiences to how my interest in Criminology developed was to show that sometimes one has experience in a subject, from which the interest grows, but sometimes you only have a small interest in a subject which comes from for example an awareness or from reading articles on the internet. Either way from here if ones decides to pursue the subject - it takes a bit of research to familiarise oneself with the subject - therefore 'Research is the key'.


More on Trauma in the South African Police Force:


Taken from:

1. Exploring the meaning of trauma in the South AfricanPolice Service: A systems psychodynamic perspective


"Theme 1: Traumatic incidents

Exposure to traumatic situations and scenes is an inevitable part of the job of policing. Most police officers report relatively low levels of death anxiety despite their dangerous profession:
‘Trauma in my work is almost like a daily routine, we experience it almost everyday.’ (Particpant K, member of South African Police Service)

‘The work of the SAPS STF is very dangerous and every time a member gets sent on a mission, his life is on the line.’ (Participant S, member of South African Police Service)

Although most participants experience the death of a colleague as traumatic, they do not consider it overwhelming: ‘Another traumatic time for me, was the death of two of my colleagues in a state vehicle accident. One of them was our commander at the
time and a very good friend of mine. This incident obviously affected the whole unit, but I don’t think we were ever properly debriefed.
Everyone had to deal with this in his or her own way. I feel I dealt with it, but these incidents will always stay with me.’ (Participant A, member of South African Police Service)

The unit is spoken of as a living entity. The whole unit was touched by the loss of two of its members and although they received no psychological intervention (which may be interpreted as support from management), the participant feels that he dealt with this loss in his own way. These incidents were integrated into his ego and became part of his history, and he considers this to be a normal way of coping with trauma.

A sense of meaning was attached to the death of the police officer who was killed in pursuit of a ‘cop killer’; he died for a reason, whereas the death of the officer who was killed whilst cycling was regarded as senseless and devoid of meaning. The employment of religious beliefs in seeking to attach meaning to traumatic experiences is clearly illustrated in the next insert:

‘Then there was X whose parachute did not open during a training jump at Y with the SANDF. He was with me in the plane and exited behind me.
I was the first person to find his body and had to deal with the sight and smell I saw. I did this by setting the example as I was the senior member from the police on the training intervention. I proceeded to handle the scene as professionally as possible without emotion, getting
everybody involved. Once again my defence was to block out any emotional thoughts and replace them with the spiritual reality that his body is destroyed but he lives on elsewhere.’ (Participant N, Member of the South African Police Service)

Anger, aggression and irritability are commonly associated with traumatisation. In the following excerpt, a participant describes his feelings of anger after arresting robbers who shot at a group of which he was part. The anger is directed at the robbers as well as at colleagues who were not at the scene but criticised what had happened there. Again, there is the notion that anyone who was not part of the specific incident, whether or not they are other police officers, cannot understand what it was like:

‘Although, later one regrets it that the robbers are not dead, because they shot to kill us. It was an unfair battle. Some people criticise one’s actions afterwards and say that they would have handled it better ... Then I think to myself: “do not comment if you were not part of that which happened when it happened.”’ (Participant C, member of the South African Police Service)

The sense of having been abandoned by the department was a common complaint amongst injured policemen. This is often perceived as a lack of support:
‘In 2001 I had a serious motor vehicle accident ... During my stay in hospital my unit commander visited me once. There were no visits from colleagues.’ (Participant L, member of South African Police Service)

‘In none of the above cases did my unit commander refer me to helping professions for counselling or for debriefing after a traumatic
event.’ (Participant L, member of South African Police Service)

Theme 2: Systems psychodynamics

This theme consists of organisational and/or systems stressors and transformation.
Organisational and/or systems stressors

Police stress is defined as a perceived imbalance between what is required of officers and what they are capable of giving, under conditions where failure may have dire consequences (McGarth, 1992). Failure to respond to demands in policing is often associated with harm or death. All participants in the current study concurred that organisational stressors have an extremely negative impact on their functioning as police officers, their well-being and their lives as a whole.

Training: The training of police officers has dual relevance to this research. Firstly, there is the level of competency that officers themselves experience, and secondly, their perception of their colleagues’ level of competency. Both of these impacted on the officers’ sense of safety and adequacy, which in turn is linked to their sense of self. This is one of the areas where inadequacy may have serious consequences; untrained officers are a liability to themselves, their colleagues and the public alike. Adequate training makes them feel prepared and equipped for the job at hand:

‘Even though the training was physically very demanding, and you worked under lots of pressure, I believe that I am better equipped, and
better trained to do every job that is required from me.’ (Particpant L, member of South African Police Service)

Recognition: Feeling supported and recognised alleviates feelings of vulnerability and acts as a ‘trauma membrane’. In addition, the psychodynamic perspective on policing considers promotion, commendations and higher salaries as emotionally important since they symbolise the department’s approval or recognition of officers by rewarding them for being ‘special’. Participants cite the low salary that they earn as proof that they are not valued for the work they do and the risks they take:
‘We are a specialising unit and not treated as that. The allowance that was meant for us is taken away. Five years has past since we were
promised to receive an allowance and yet nothing has happened thus far. This makes members to leave our unit and join the private sector where the
money is good.’ (Participant F, member of South African Police Service)

Perceptions about commanders and management of the SAPS: Commanders and management are seen as the personification of the ‘organisation’ and often as the people in power who make the decisions. According to the psychodynamic viewpoint, a policeman’s unconscious emotional experience is that he is the child and the department is either a powerful, nurturing parent or a bungling, punishing one:

‘We heard later that X is leaving on medical grounds. The founder and “godfather” of the unit doesn’t want to be
part of this circus any longer.’ (Participant M, member of South African Police Service)

The impact of organisational stressors on relationships: Relationships within the police service can be broadly grouped into three clusters, namely relationships with colleagues, relationships with friends outside the police service and family relationships. Relationships with co-workers are considered important and have a highly supportive function. The literature indicates that police officers rarely socialise with non-police officers, which leaves family relations as the only other area of social support:

‘During this period, I relied heavily on my wife for support. Whenever something bothers me, I usually talks about it to my wife. Even
though I feel it’s good for me to talk about it, I think it might have a negative effect on her.’ (ParticipantA, member of South
African Police Service)

Working environment: Police officers who perceive their working environment as uncontrollable (external locus of control) are more likely to be utilising emotion-focused coping, which is associated with a poorer prognosis for their mental well-being. Alcohol abuse is often one of the means police officers use to cope with their working environment:

‘The trauma caused by all these incidents and situations have led to excessive drinking. At one stage I was drinking daily and getting
drunk most days. I come to realise that I must set an example for my kids and that the situation I was in was not anybody’s fault. I think
the realisation that the way things are going is a normal reaction of any person or persons that have been oppressed, woke me up. I still have a
few “toasts” but do not get drunk any more ... I spent time with my wife and children and I spent more time with my Maker. I try to go
to church more often. I got involved with school activities ... I think that when I started to realise that there is life outside of my working
hours, and that I am not responsible for everybody, I became less stressed and traumatised.’ (Particpant E, member of South African Police
Service)

This insert indicates ways in which defence mechanisms such as rationalisation may help to restore a sense of control over a situation, which encourages more adaptive ways of functioning. The shift away from the working environment to activities and people who are considered important contributed to this participant’s coping. The conscious increase of distance from the working environment is perceived as an act of survival. The implied message is that the working environment is killing that part of him which is ‘good’ and ‘decent’.

Transformation
SAPS officers face two major stresses: the inherent problems of an often dangerous, violent and underappreciated job, and the pressure of working in an organisation which is being fundamentally transformed.

Racial tension: It is a sensitive topic and probably the issue in the SAPS which is least acknowledged at an official level. For various reasons, including our colonial and apartheid history, racial issues in South Africa and the SAPS in particular are imbued with fear, guilt, anger and anxiety. In their relationship with one another, Black and White men have not only been divided by history and geography; they have related to one another in particular and hierarchical ways. Since the inception of the ‘new’ (anti-apartheid) South Africa and the revamped SAPS, racism, or the perceived unfair advantage of one racial group over another, is considered to be a serious organisational stressor by the White, male participants:

‘Apparently racism does not exists in the new South Africa. “Ha-ha!” racism is alive and well and the only thing that’s
still advancing in the SAPS and its coming from both sides. Both my previous and present direct commanders are two of the biggest racists that I
ever encountered in the SAPS. It causes tension between members when some ethnic groups are deliberately favoured above others. This is one of the
main reasons of conflict between Black and White members at HP. It is wrong for someone in a managerial position to be guilty of such serious
misconduct.’ (Participant M, member of South African Police Service)

Representivity: As part of the transformation process in the SAPS, an objective is that the personnel compilation reflects the country’s demographics with regard to race and gender. The Employment Equity Act 55 of 1998 aims to ensure that suitable people from designated groups are equally represented in all occupational levels and categories. This is experienced as discrimination and a lowering of standards by the White male participants:
‘When it came to the selection of new HP members, the emphasis shifted from high standard to “representivity”. A lot of members left the unit for other units in the SAPS or better jobs in the private sector. Unfortunately, members who were selected because of their race and not their expertise replaced these members. This obviously created a lot of distrust and conflict within the unit. I just didn’t feel confident working with a member who didn’t have the same level of training than we did. As time went by, the unit went into a downward spiral.’ (Participant A, member of South African Police Service)

Unclear line of command and/or cumbersome organisational structure: Another change in the SAPS that is associated with the transformation of the organisation is an unclear line of command or a cumbersome organisational structure. Participants experience the command structure as cumbersome, clumsy and uncontained in a managerial sense:

‘I don’t really know how it happened but suddenly our unit commander had less of a say in our duties. Other officers at Area and
Provincial level decided what we had to do.’ (Participant C, member of South African Police Service)

The effect of the change: All participants experienced the recent changes in the organisation as negative. In contrast to the sense of meaning and purpose that was associated with the job of policing in the past, participants currently question the meaning of their function:

‘We were being used more and more as a show-unit and not what we were trained for (combatting of serious crime). We were not allowed to respond to any complaints or crime in progress, even if we were in the immediate vicinity. This was very frustrating and demoralising for all of us.
Crime was rife in X, but we had to drive behind a bus ... or stand at stationary points on the highways. This instruction shocked me. How could anyone who says that he is serious about reducing crime in this country, issue an instruction like that? Was this man involved in crime himself and
was he trying to get us out of the way? All these questions were going through my head as I was trying to make sense of this. We actually worked these insane duties for nine months. During this period I could hear crimes in progress being broadcast and the operator battling to find vehicles
to respond to these complaints, but we were not allowed to respond. The crime rate escalated. Instead of putting our unit to the use it was intended for, new units were started with new vehicles. Do the SAPS have too much money or is it managed by a bunch of morons?’ (Participant A, member of South African Police Service)"


2. Cop stress-level time bomb

"South Africa’s police service could have a potentially explosive problem on its hands if high stress levels within its ranks are not dealt with urgently.
With an estimated 90 percent of physically injured police officers suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and the SAPS “mirroring” South African society, which, according to studies, has an estimated 15 percent of citizens suffering from anxiety disorders such as PTSD, police management and researchers fear that ticking time bombs within their ranks may soon explode."

3. SAPS wasting millions on extended sick leave

"Tax payers are coughing up millions for hundreds of members of the South African Police Service (SAPS) who have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), some of whom have already been on paid sick leave for as long as seven years, the trade union Solidarity said today. In addition, these members are now forced to report for duty, where they are not only endangering their own lives, but also the lives of others. If they do not report for duty, they payment of their salaries is halted."

Friday, January 23, 2015

Day 195: Writing a Blog part 5



"So with blogging one is also walking a process or steps that one applies and fine tunes until you are comfortable with writing the type of blog you would like to write. Within blogging the topic that one chooses to write about will also be a process, meaning if one is using blogging/writing to explore oneself - then you are getting to know the tools of self exploration to be able to get to the relevant information and application required to change. If one is using blogging to write about how you see world problems and possible solutions - then again it will require a process of getting to know ones subject, and the layers of information around how this problem/issue came to be - and then getting to know ones solution and how the solution could/would be applied to the problem. Meaning there is no black or white template when it comes to exploring the world systems other than using some common sense and questioning how things work. So as a summary what I am saying is that when one begins blog writing realise that you are exploring how to write  blog - how to publish it (if one chooses to do so) and how to expand ones writing from there and take care of ones public profiles where one shares the writings - while at the same time developing the skills within the type of writing one is doing. Which will bring us to the next topic - what is it that you would like to write about?"



Alright so lets split blog writing into 2 - the one type of blog being 'world events and solutions' and the second type being 'personal change/process points'. In this blog we will discuss the first type 'world events and solutions'. So for those of you who have been following the Desteni blogs on for example the Living Income Guaranteed, have realised that behind these blogs obviously goes quite a bit of research and developing ones ability to address issues of the world, by firstly finding them (research) and secondly taking what is writing about the point - meaning the problems and suggested solutions apart, using ones own understanding of effective solutions to compare and assess what would be the best solutions to the problem. Obviously to work with the 'solutions' part - here one would already be seeing an effective approach such as Living Income Guaranteed which one is able to draw comparisons to.

Now this is where many people say they get stuck - firstly for most getting over the self-doubt is the biggest problem, where 'voices in the head' start telling you that your writings wont be good enough, they wont make sense, people will laugh at your attempts etc etc. Therefore firstly as I mentioned in the previous blogs - one is to realize that this kind of self talk is due to an underlying mind pattern that one has developed over the years, probably even since childhood - where memories of past events now determine how one experiences yourself. Therefore the end result of for example self doubt, self victimisation, self bullying, low self esteem etc - will be these irrational fears and phobias such as 'what if I am not able to write a blog'. Therefore the fear itself from within the mind - comes up and overwhelms us, and if we believe the fear, then we believe this overwhelming experience is real and that there is no solution. This is what we call 'getting stuck in the mind.'

Artwork: https://www.facebook.com/andrewgableart
As I mentioned in the previous blogs, to overcome these self created belief systems and fears, as a immediate solution, I suggest developing and embracing an understanding that these aspects one have created within self, firstly is not real, because it is an irrational fear, and secondly is something that you are able to change - if you apply the steps to change them. For myself when I started writing - I could hardly string one sentence together and from there had the support to develop how I saw things and how to place that into writing. So no - it is not an instant thing and depending on your self created belief systems, you might have to apply yourself in common sense by stopping the abusive thoughts that do not serve you - while taking the ultimate self directive step to practise those things you believe you could not do. Obviously here it is about baby steps - to not overwhelm yourself or confirm your paranoia by go all for it, not getting it right and then proving to your beliefs that yes you could not do it. If this happens then know that you have created a lets call it 'self fulfilled prophecy' where you sabotaged yourself to get back to the same point you came from...

Monday, January 12, 2015

Day 194: Writing a Blog part 4


" I mean if we had to really sit with a religious Deity we probably would not be able to open our mouths other than 'Hi how are you' because we know that what exist in the mind as our real thoughts and experiences are not really what we would like our god or deity to be privy to. So we create a separation between ourselves and the imaginary deities we worship in our minds - how odd. The deity only exist in the mind and therefore one is not even equal to this fictional character you create in the mind that is supposedly holding your moral compass. Boy oh Boy. Any way - so my point being that we believe our thoughts to such an extent that we don’t question them - to the extent that through these thoughts and belief systems we will compromise our lives. So in tackling this project of 'writing' one is taking on what exist inside oneself and questioning where ones thoughts, belief systems, ideas and fears come from."

So as I have mentioned in a previous blog about consumerism versus the human mind - we see it as completely normal teaching our children our warped ideas about ourselves and each other. After a while as the self identities become infused into the mind as personalities - it becomes very difficult for these belief systems to be undone - because even if a person realises their own belief systems do them harm - they have become the belief system to the extent that the mind is the directive principle of the person, this even f the person says 'wait a minute I don’t want to live with these thoughts in my head' - to step out of it is very difficult because the mind possessed the person always back into the same programming.


So just like a machine or robot - if the program engages the person is automatically responding and moving - even though inside oneself you don’t want to keep living like that. This is something all people battle with to some extent - until one realises how the mind works and how and what one should start applying within oneself to get back to self directing the mind as a tool and not the other way around. This de-programming as we sometimes call it is requires walking of a 'process' - meaning finding the information and the techniques necessary to delete/change the program. This is what we refer to as a process - lol - which some have equated to what Hitler would do - rounding people up and either brainwashing them or executing them for not being like who we want them to be. Therefore the reason why I share this - is because some people hear the words process and see what I have described above instead of what the word process actually simply refer to - a set of steps and information required to change something or bring something into being.

Artwork by: Andrew Gable
So with blogging one is also walking a process or steps that one applies and fine tunes until you are comfortable with writing the type of blog you would like to write. Within blogging the topic that one chooses to write about will also be a process, meaning if one is using blogging/writing to explore oneself - then you are getting to know the tools of self exploration to be able to get to the relevant information and application required to change. If one is using blogging to write about how you see world problems and possible solutions - then again it will require a process of getting to know ones subject, and the layers of information around how this problem/issue came to be - and then getting to know ones solution and how the solution could/would be applied to the problem. Meaning there is no black or white template when it comes to exploring the world systems other than using some common sense and questioning how things work. So as a summary what I am saying is that when one begins blog writing realise that you are exploring how to write blog - how to publish it (if one chooses to do so) and how to expand ones writing from there and take care of ones public profiles where one shares the writings - while at the same time developing the skills within the type of writing one is doing. Which will bring us to the next topic - what is it that you would like to write about?

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