This blog is a continuation from:
a person who uses drug like ecstasy in social environments with friends, to enhance self intimacy and intimacy with others. Allowing one, to feel more relaxed, open, sociable and to drop any fears around self-expression.
Now we will look at the character dimensions which is the real character behind why the person relies on a drug, and therefore the drug stands in as a character of comfortability, sociability and intimacy, instead of the individual becoming and living this as themselves, so by the end of the character dimensions - we will also look at why our society does not allow people to feel comfortable to expression ourselves.
First character dimension = let us look at the dimension of Fear - what the individual really fears about themselves and others, resulting in the 'need' of the use of a drug to change those aspects of self or the experience of self towards others in relation to their characters, expressions one actually fears:
In each self-forgiveness statement you will see that I have taken basic fears and expanded on the design, picture and ideas around the fears - by deconstructing the fear through self-forgiveness -
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear self expression, because as a child I was taught that certain facial expressions and physical movements are silly or stupid.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a facial expression, contains and exists as an outward expression of an internal value system.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge certain behaviours as being childish, due to words used by my parents, condemning my actions as I grew up as being to childish or immature.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself when scolded by my parents for being childish, to react to the words by my parents and to then decide that I will change and act differently to not have my parents yell at me - therefore infusing this reaction into me, as a fear - which then later on becomes the reaction to my own behaviours, taking me into fear of self expression - where I will literally freeze in discomfort and self judgment as I access all old patterns, ideas and thought patterns around any form of expression feared by and through my parents.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that this idea that my parents have of facial expressions and behaviours is my fear of expression as well, passed down from generation to generation, as we label certain expressions/behaviours according to age groups - which I now realise really only serves the existence of the human surviving within the system - where a certain facial expression or body behaviour is seen to either serve your survival drive for that age group or not, and if one acts outside of ones accepted age behaviours, you are judged and forced to stop - as your survival expects of you to act differently,
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach money and survival to my facial expressions and behaviours, where I will actually yell at a child/person for expressing themselves a certain way - when I know that I am really just supporting the fears and backchat of the generations before me, who accepted the human being as an organic robot that must only present itself according to acceptable ways which slot in with how one is supposed to act in this world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attached fears to physical behaviour, instead of allowing myself to freely express myself, free from judgments towards myself and the judgments I perceive others have of me which have become my own judgments - as I stop myself each time I am about to express myself 'incorrectly' through thoughts in my mind that tell me I am being inappropriate, immature or 'dumb'.
Fear dimension to be continued...