Day 136: The Paranormal Series Part 6 – The being that died as Fear (part 1)

Other blogs in my Paranormal Series:

Day 131: The Paranormal Series - Ghosts and Demons Part 1

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and.html 

Day 132: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 2

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-132-paranormal-seriesghosts-and.html
Day 133: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 3

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and_19.html 

Day 134: The Paranormal Series Part 4 - A Psychic’s Gate Keeper (part 1)
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-134-paranormal-series-part-4.html

Day 135: The Paranormal Series Part 5 - A Psychic’s Gate Keeper (part 2)
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/04/day-135-paranormal-series-part-5.html

This blog is based on the following Interview:

Journeys into the Afterlife - The Being that died as Fear

”I was one of the first Demons that communicated through the Interdimensional Portal and there were quite a few of us demons that came through the Interdimensional Portal initially. and No the Interdimensional Portal was not a gate way or opening to hell that ‘unleashed’ all the Demons of existence or that had been damned to hell by ‘god’. I think human beings had done a pretty good job of that yourselves, in becoming the demonic forces on this earth and creating hell for yourselves…”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create an idea that there are demonic forces ‘out there’ creating chaos on earth, while never looking firstly inside myself at the forces that exist within me and rule and direct me into action each day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that demonic forces exist in and has control over the world, myself and other people – without actually investigating what I am saying, by investigating how the world really functions, how society functions and how the psyche of the human works.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see demons as the beings that they use to be, before being consumed by rage, anger, fear, sorry etc, but instead to use their state of demonic-beigness to entertain myself and to project my own wrong doings or demonic nature onto.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as human to literally not give the demons any time of day, where I would categorise them and observe their nature, but never actually insist on  the white light or a god or a jesus to actually relieve or assist ALL demons from their plight.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to get to know demons, who they were, where they come from, what their experience was, but instead to keep them as my slaves, trapped forever in their state.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the limitation of knowledge and information in my mind that I acquired from books, religion, the internet, other people etc, to be my guide on what demons are or use to be – instead of exploring for myself why demons existed and why if there was a god, why he/she/it would allow a being to remain in such a way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in this knowledge and information so absolutely, that I would not investigate demons for myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be limited into my mind as mere beliefs and not action based on what is real and sustainable in this physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to call reality a ‘lie’ because when I compare it to the knowledge in my mind, which is knowledge from books and spirituality – because I don't want to face reality and take responsibility for my actions – I compare what I have done simply to my knowledge and because each person is doing this, we eventually allow all to become demons and demonise our planet- because all abuse becomes justified according to some form of knowledge.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not investigate what happens in this reality as it changes over time, thus showing that there are human behaviours, patterns and actions that create consequences over time – but instead continue on the same path, ignoring the consequences and having excuses ready for each manifested outcome/consequence, from my own behaviours and the behaviours from those who came before me.


I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to change and apply myself according to what is best for all, because I am still clinging onto the ideas and belief systems and knowledge./information from generations before me, whom designed the way they did things, simply out of fear of survival, just like the original cave man/woman designed their actions and ideologies based on fear of survival.

For more information on the process of Demons and Self -Forgiveness please listen to or read the following videos/documents:

http://demons.desteni.org/2011/02/the-history-of-demons-and-desteni-videos/

http://demons.desteni.org/2011/01/the-history-of-demons-and-desteni/ (transcription of videos)

http://demons.desteni.org/2011/10/the-new-demon/

http://demons.desteni.org/2011/08/demons-of-the-new-age/

http://demons.desteni.org/2011/01/demons-physical-and-interdimensional/

Day 133: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 3

This is a follow up from:

Day 131: The Paranormal Series - Ghosts and Demons Part 1

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and.html

Day 132: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 2

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-132-paranormal-seriesghosts-and.html

 

“Now, this is where I know most ghost enthusiasts will kick up a stink and complain to me that many ghost hunters will actually attempt to assist the ‘ghost/demon’ to ‘go to the light’ so to speak. But you know what? This is like saying to the room full of children – ‘its ok, don't be scared, go through that door over there, I have read in an old book written and rewritten by humans who are known for fabricating stories and inventing ‘knowledge’ to control people or to drive/impulse/manipulate the human for profit - that what is behind that door is ‘nice’. The fact is many ghost hauntings and possession cases re-occur and that the exorcist and demon hunters don't ACTUALLY know ‘what is behind the door’ (the white light) but are trusting sources from books – where they themselves have never actually been able to look behind the door …. So would you do that to a child? So for example when I had my ‘aha’ moment where I experienced shock and shame at my antics – what I realized was that firstly ‘why would a God allow beings who at the moment of a traumatic/confusing/angry death clinging to their bodies or homes or objects –why would such a God punish them by saying ‘well you wanted to stay there so weh…’”

 
If you have ever watched ‘ghost hunting/paranormal investigator’ type documentaries, then you will know what I am talking about. As I said before I have watched many documentaries/ghost movies and ghost hunter videos on youtube etc and a while back in preparation for this series, I went onto Youtube and watched some ghost hunter type documentaries to have a fresh view on how paranormal investigations are being done as of late.

1987 Paranormal Investigator

2013 - Paranormal Investigators or Rock Band?

The first thing that I noticed was the difference between ghost documentaries now and what they were like about 10 years ago. The emphasis back then was filming and documenting paranormal activity. Obviously I am not referring to the intentional creation and spreading of falsified ‘paranormal phenomena’ on the internet, but simply stating that the difference between what was filmed and presented many years ago to what is presented now is that back in the day the emphasis was on the paranormal. Now the emphasis is very much about the ego of the paranormal investigators and the entertainment value. Let me walk you through an example. The first ghost hunting series that I attempted to watch, was filmed by a group of 4/5 young men, each one looked like he had spent allot of time at the gym and spent plenty of time before filming gelling and prepping their hairstyles.


Then they opened their mouths and this is where my jaw dropped, because it become like a scene from a rugby player’s locker room, all of them preparing their ego’s for some big attack that is about to take place between themselves and this disembodies soul. As they started walking through the haunted location, the presenters themselves appeared to go into more and more of a possessed state as they started shouting challenges to the ghost/demons who occupied the building and each one’s threat to the ghosts was out done by the next.

For example they would shout things like ‘common, move something dammit!, is this all you’ve got, I’m not scared of you, show me what you’ve got!’ Now the demon/ghosts probably took one look at these Johnny Bravo looking characters and either left of thoroughly would have enjoyed the egotistical male energy that was oozing off these lads. So by the end of their tour through this haunted location, the 'Johnny Bravos’ were thoroughly disappointed by the no-show of the ghosts after they shouted so many threats and promises. If demons and ghosts were to roam those halls, I bet you a million dollars that they were not as inactive as the ‘hunters’ thought they were and would have been sapping their energy and probably encouraging the ego’s to extremes.

So this left me with the distinct impression, that these lads had absolutely no interest in the fate of these ‘souls’ but instead were there to chase things, and show off their ‘fearlessness and skill’s. Even though I had reached my limit with all the ranting and spearing, I decided to carry on and watch another episode. Again these lads with their well gelled hair and matching ghost hunter t-shirts set forth through the next haunted location, where it did not take long for the lad in front to start yelling threats and obscenities as the ‘demon/ghost that they suspected haunted this location. He even went as far as saying to the ghost/demon ‘common we know you hurt the people who use to live here… you think you are so brave, why don't you attack one of us and show us how big and brave you really think you are.’ Obviously at this point I am wondering what performance these lads are going to produce, because obviously if they are pushing for the ghosts to perform, either one of them is going to be attacked or they will have to fake an attack to keep the viewers interested.

I continued watching to see what would transpire, and true as bob a few minutes later one of the strong body builder looking Johnny Bravo’s start screaming like a girl clutching his face. He claims that ‘something smacked him in the face’ which is obviously what they had been waiting for, however what got me giggling was ‘how he reacted’ – screaming and cussing and carrying on as if he was upset by what this demon had done. I am thinking, ‘but wait a minute you were threating and pleading with this ghost/demon just a  few minutes ago: ‘why don't you attack one of us and show us how big and brave you really think you are’ and now that the demon'/ghost has done exactly that you complain and act as if you were completely innocent in the whole thing?

So that is just one example of the strange logic of the ghost hunter. I mean getting back to my example in my previous blog, of us watching a room full of hungry, lost, distraught children and getting a kick out of watching them run around in circles crying; This example of the Johnny Bravo ghost hunters is taking that example to the next level where you would actually taunt the lost, frightened children and make them cry even more. I mean we see examples of animal abuse on the internet/television where people will for example catch wild animals like bears and tigers and then put them in cages and poke them with sticks while the hunters drink beers and film themselves – this is the exact same thing.

I continued to randomly pick ghost investigative videos on Youtube and continued to be perplexed at the obvious level of self interest and the tactics used by the investigators to ‘up’ the level of entertainment value. Each ghost hunting team had its own technique – because unfortunately even for those who were genuinely interesting in documenting paranormal activity – their ratings would be influenced by whether the viewers lost interest or not. For some this did not matter, as they posted their videos regardless of how many views they got and during the investigations very little if anything would ever happen. This to me was more accurate in terms of the real time discovery and documentation of paranormal activity. For some there was action every 10 minutes, which obviously reeked of fakery. Unfortunately as with our taste in movies and music, one thing that stands out the most about the entertainment industry is definitely not the story or the music talent or the lyrics, it has become about the viewer/user, wanting a specific experience and the music/film industry has to cater for the human experience. That is why the movies we are seeing for the last 7/8 years are all the exact same story lines and the focus is always on the same factors such as sex, relationship dynamics, love, money, deception, etc. Same with the music industry  - as Myley Cyrus said herself after being interviewed about her rather strange performance a while back  - she admits that she can make crap music and crap music videos because her fans will always be there.

Getting back to the point why I am doing this blog series, I realized that I was participating in the industry that traps animals in cages and pokes at them with sticks for entertainment. At Desteni, we have been researching the existence of ghosts and the paranormal and I suggest if you are interested in this subject matter – to please follow this link to our demonology website where you will find the video and transcriptions of our series done on Desteni and Demons. From this you will be able to get a better understanding of the approach that I will be taking with this blog series. I am not supporting the existence of ghosts, I will however be walking a series of self understanding and self forgiveness on how demons/ghosts use to exist and how myself and other ‘paranormal enthusiasts’ continue through the mind to create paranormal experiences.

Next I will be walking each of the interviews that we did on Eqafe where it is explained how ghosts use to exist and how people experience paranormal events now – thus I will be exploring my own ‘quantum mind mechanics of paranormal events.’

Day 132: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 2

This blog is a follow up from:
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and.html

“My fascination started after my father’s death – where I realized that I could actually sense and at times see an outline of him in my home. This I initially connected to a simple fascination with my father and the questions that were left unanswered after he died. Therefore I was not really sure if I was really seeing/sensing him or if my underlying fears and desires were the cause of my experiences. I felt lost without him and I also felt guilty for him dying – because I connected his heart attack to him having to much stress which caused him to have the heart attack. This burden I carried with me for many years until I discovered Desteni and was supported to let go of the guilt, the fear, the dependency , the inherent desire to be with my father and to slowly learn to give myself back to me and live my life…”

What opened up for me though from about the age of 17 onwards was a peculiar ability to continue to sense and see spirits. Therefore from being able to sense and at times see my father – I developed an ability to also detect other ghosts and demonic beings. This peaked my interest in the paranormal even more and it was then that I started dabbling with Wiccanism and then Paganism and the Ouija Board – where I had an insatiable desire to communicate not only with my farther but with ‘dead people’ in general. Years later, I could explain that my fascination with ‘the dead’ largely had something to do with the fact that I really did not enjoy being around the living lol. I found conversations with the living to be very tiring and this I realized was due to the fact that I had depression due to how I was not dealing with my fathers death and the strained relationship I had with him before he died. So all in all – my 'fear of being without a father’, which is an inherent programmed design in all people and my guilt at my father dying drove me to wanting to in a way punish myself for my fathers depression that he had all of his adult life, which ended in him making a decision to provide for his family in spite of his painful childhood – after which he died from worrying about money to take care of his family.

All of this weighed so heavily on my shoulder and I delved deeper and deeper into adult depression – which caused me to have an uncanny/strange kind of character  - where I would be the odd, gothic looking girl in the back – who would cringe at the sight of humans at a party – and look forward to the time that I could go home to talk on the ouija board with ghosts lol. So my fascination with the supernatural around the age of 17 led me to reading ample books – which of course when my grandmother found out, caused her to have a fit and confront my mother about these un-godly satanic books that she was allowing her daughter to bring into the house. Funnily enough, my mother was so sick of her mothers tyrannical rants that she stood up to her and said ‘man leave her alone, she can read what she wants’.

After this I met a Wiccan at a party and soon after that we not only became friends but I joined him in his religion which kind of transmuted from Wicca to Paganism as we explored more and more ‘the darker side of things’. Anyway, I speak about my Wicca/Paganism/Ouija board adventures enough in all of the articles and videos referred to above – so I will skip to the next part.

Around the age of 24 I started studying Kinesiology because my second passion became about alternative therapies and assisting people. In my spare time i decided to study parapsychology – because this was what i really wanted to do but obviously career wise, in South Africa this does not give one an option for a paying career, so I simply did it because it was my ‘passion’. I joined an online course which was based with a paranormal Research group in Manchester, England. I only studied the first year of Parapsychology after which I was invited to come and live with the people who I am currently working and living with. More information on Desteni and the Portal above.

So you might be asking ‘why are you doing a blog series on the paranormal if your blog is about ‘Crime’s Journey to Life’. You see an interesting point that I touched on in my blog, which I referred to above, called: Ghost hunting – is where I realized one day that I was essentially using the distress of another being, caught on this earthly plane due to whichever distressful situation they experienced during death – to entertain myself with. It was the same as having a room full of hungry, distraught, sick, frightened, disorientated children and watching their distress and lostness to experience a thrill. Therefore what I am doing to myself and in essence to another being, even if it is a ‘ghost’ is using their distress and fear and confusion and vulnerability for my entertainment  and from my perspective this is saying about me that I abuse others vulnerabilities and obviously will allow the same to be done to me for the entertainment of others – and this is a Crime against Life. Just like people who justify that animal abuse is ok because they ‘beLIEve’ animals don't have ‘souls’ thus don't deserve equal life rights or that the animal kingdom is there to ‘serve man;’ – the same applies here – we are as ‘ghost hunters’ admitting that we believe or ‘know’ that ghosts exist as the disembodied essence or ‘soul’ (and the apparent value we give to a thing called a ‘soul’") of human beings –and yet at the drop of hat we will use their situation for our own entertainment value. Therefore you will note that as soon as a human or other life form on this plant is in a vulnerable position where it cannot defend itself – then within Capitalism as the ‘need for humans to survive’ or within the drive for human self-interest (as in this case for entertainment) we will find excuses to abuse/exploit that life form.

Now, this is where I know most ghost enthusiasts will kick up a stink and complain to me that many ghost hunters will actually attempt to assist the ‘ghost/demon’ to ‘go to the light’ so to speak. But you know what? This is like saying to the room full of children – ‘its ok, don't be scared, go through that door over there, I have read in an old book written and rewritten by humans who are known for fabricating stories and inventing ‘knowledge’ to control people or to drive/impulse/manipulate the human for profit - that what is behind that door is ‘nice’. The fact is many ghost hauntings and possession cases re-occur and that the exorcist and demon hunters don't ACTUALLY know ‘what is behind the door’ (the white light) but are trusting sources from books – where they themselves have never actually been able to look behind the door …. So would you do that to a child? So for example when I had my ‘aha’ moment where I experienced shock and shame at my antics – what I realized was that firstly ‘why would a God allow beings who at the moment of a traumatic/confusing/angry death clinging to their bodies or homes or objects –why would such a God punish them by saying ‘well you wanted to stay there so weh…’

In the next blog I  will expand on this point with another example.