Day 130: The Sex industry and ‘Supply and Demand’

This is a follow up in the Pornography Series from:

Day 129: Crimes against Life: Forced to keep working in the Sex Industry

I watched a documentary called: ‘Date my Porn Star’ – and in this documentary – the emphasis is the experiences of 3 guys who are porn addicts – who get the opportunity to go to LA to meet their favourite porn stars and are taken to various Porn Sets to watch how porn movies are made. Part of the emphasis of the documentary is to show how these men experience the behind the scenes information about how the woman within the porn industry really experience themselves.
The first few sets are ‘normal’ as in the porn stars have sex with other porn stars while they film porn movies. The 3 guys are observed and filmed and asked throughout how they experience themselves. Obviously being porn addicts it basically comes down to them ‘feeling horny’ all the time and being envious of the porn stars.

The last set they go to is slightly different. In this scenario the porn stars have to have endless sex for hours with men who win a competition – in which the winner gets to have sex with a porn star. So these are ‘normal’ members of the public who entered a competition to get to have sex with porn starts – however again with the emphasis being placed on the crude and disgusting – the porn starts don't have sex with only 1 or 2 men  - they have to go on for about 2 hours with various men. This is apparently part of the attraction for those watching it on TV. The one girls was so tired that she collapsed and was only given 2 minutes to go behind scenes and ‘recollect herself’ because they could not stop for her because this charade was being filmed ‘live’. So just like cattle being fed to the slaughterhouse these girls were not even considered. Of course what did I expect from an industry that sells human dignity for profit. I supposed considering the context of it being ‘the porn industry’ of course I was not really shocked to see this. To top it all off, once ‘filming stopped’ the ‘boss’ and the director and the managers all got to ‘have a go at the girls’ so the girls had to continue having sex long after filming stop – simply to of course remain in the business.

The documentary film crew who were filming the 3 men – asked each of them what they thought of this particular scenario. Now the expressions on their faces were a little different because they had witnessed how these woman were being abused for their and millions of other men’s entertainment. No mercy was shown and of course that was deliberate, as the Porn industry specifically exists because people want to experience the energetic charge from seeing the nasty, ugly, rape side of sex. Let’s be honest the porn industry stopped being about sex a veeeery long time ago and now merely exists to trigger the secret mind fantasies in people – whereby the user/viewer gets the highest sexual energetic experience. So the user is directly responsible for the porn industry existing as it does today.

The one man, when asked what he thought of all of this, looked a little less sure of himself than he did on the previous sets. However, you could see the cogs in his brain turning and the addiction personality taking over and finding excuses why he should not have to give up this drug addiction. So he answers ‘well there is a supply and a demand for this stuff you know – it’s basic commers’. So basically to the addict any person, child or animal may be abused because of supply and demand. People of course, obviously do not realise that as long as we have a money system where these woman have to have money to survive, obviously (as discussed in previous blogs) they are going to have to work and secondly why earn minimum wages working at Wal-Mart or MacDonald if you can earn 5 times that doing one porn movie. Obviously – the obvious aspect of it all is that these woman actually do understand that they are selling themselves, allowing themselves to be abused physically and mentally for the this point of survival. Remove that point of survival and most of these woman would not arrive for work. The ones that do arrive for work  (as discussed in a previous blog) – you will be able to trace the time line of their life experiences and their pre-programmed designs to get a better understanding on how a man or woman grows up to love sex so much that they want to degrade themselves physically and mentally for the profit of others – simply to be seen as beautiful or desired and the emphasis that is placed with society and femininity towards ‘sexiness’ and being sexually ‘free’ .

Towards the end of the documentary the man who made the comment about ‘supply and demand’ looked at how these woman were faking their enjoying and battling through pain and fatigue – and said ‘these woman are really not enjoying themselves- maybe this is just a meat grinder for young woman’ . Later at the end of the documentary they interview the man again and ask him if this whole experience has given him some insights and he replied that he realized something's about himself (did not say what it was) and that there are some things about himself that he needs to now look at some more. Interesting – seeing first hand the reality of what these people go through. Unfortunately, this indicates that the tendency exists for people to believe what they are told – believe unconditionally what ones sees on television without questioning, to never observe the abuse that happens in the world from how one participates but rather to continue supporting abuse as long as it fuels the money system.

What I have realised myself within how I started questioning what I accepted in this reality – was that most of what is presented is the lie – what happens behind the scenes is a very different story because everyone is simply trying to survive and within  this capitalism functions according to the consumer. The consumer is a unit of biological mind systems that require energy through what we experience. Experiences come from what we participate in and all of that is provided for through capitalism, therefore the consumer is always the key to the Money System as it is now and as it evolves. Capitalists always monitor and study trends and trends develop according to the human psyche which as I mentioned previously, exists according to energetic experiences such as addictions which are fuelled constantly through what we see, touch and experience. So as the man mentioned in the documentary – he realized something about himself in relation to the abuse he witnessed – this is a pretty cool step for an addict – because one has to realize that an addict is consumed and possessed- hence the term addicted. So for an addict to have a moment of clarity where you come face to face with the consequences of your choices and participation – is  effective in this case however unfortunate  -as we have designed it so that we only start considering change once we face our consequences. This means (and this you are able to see for yourself) that we have created a world with immense suffering to ourselves, each other, the animals, nature and children –and currently not much is done to stop the suffering. This I have experienced myself on many levels – where I too would not change unless I was forced to, unless the pain or discomfort got to much etc. With the tool of self honesty what I have realized is that one can start considering what is best for all – where one has already done it once or twice and realize we are more than our self interest – and that it is possible to create a better world through self change.

Day 34: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 18

This is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-33-international-crime-research.html



Please refer to: Day 24: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 8 for background information, on how and why I will be walking the characters of Criminals/Offenders.



To recap: the following blog is written from the perspective of familiarizing myself one and equal with the mind, character and personality of someone who watches/consumes child pornography. By walking equal to the mind of the user, I am able to draw from it, the contributing factors from the initial thought to the decision that is made to watch child pornography and how the mind is further fueled through backchat and behaviors, until in time, the characteristic is defined and directs the being into action, through an accumulation of memories, thoughts and experiences. What follows is specific self-forgiveness on the characteristics within the write-up.

“By the age of 19 I fell in love with a girl, who after 6 months decided to sleep with one of the guys I worked with. I was furious – as I treated her like a queen and spent all my hard earned cash on her.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use ‘I treated someone well therefore they should not have deceived me’ as an excuse and justification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become infuriated due to my justification and excuse not working and the other person not doing what I was holding them responsible for.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that just because I was doing things ‘for another’ they would not leave me, thus allowing myself when the person left or acted different to how I wanted them to, to become so emotional, as I reflected this onto myself and allowed myself to experience rage towards self and others.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in the end ignore how I had placed value onto pleasing others and how I believed people should behave around me.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself when the moment arrived where she tells me she had been seeing someone else, to bring up a picture thought of a memory of myself treated her well through money – thus using this memory as a benchmark of the kind of treatment I expected due to the monetary value I had placed into the relationship.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to then participate in the backchat of ‘how dare she, I spent all my money on her’ – therefore feeding my anger, which was based on a value system I had held the partner accountable for, which is how I value myself in relation to my partner.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in fury when the money value was being disregarded therefore not considering myself or how I participated in creating the relationship construct based on money and attention and appreciation. Therefore when my relationship fell flat, I did not see, realize and understand that I played a part in the design of our experience towards each other as I too was responsible for the terms on which this relationship was built – which were dependent on how I really participated through money as one dominant factor.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to then create a physical response of hung shoulders, heaviness, shaking for days afterwards as I continued to think about what happened as I fueled my anger.

“After that relationship I met Lucinda, a girl who worked in the office next to me. We fell in love and got married when I was 23. We were married for 4 years during which time – we fell out of love, as we realized that our interests changed and she was too attached to her family.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that one can fall in love with someone, on which one now energetically create beliefs, ideas and dependencies on the other person based on preconceived ideas of relationship.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can also fall out of love with someone which I realize were all simply energetic possessions I allowed myself to become I as it is clear that one does not actually ‘fall’ anywhere, but instead allow pre-programmed experiences to overcome one, which we accept and allow as a statement of enjoying self punishment’ as we create and participate in experiences that are energy based and direct us through taking us over in forms of mind-energy-possession.


I commit myself to show that in order for us to Live and Breathe here in our Physical Bodies, we do not have to accept ourselves as these Mind Consciousness Systems which we have all come to accept through the generations as normal human responses – as we have made ourselves dependent on these emotion/feeling reactions and experiences that control us, where we lose directive principle as we give ourselves up into a system of the Mind.


The rest of the Self-Commitment statements for this blog is found at the end of the next blog.

To stop holding each other prisoner in for Money - Investigate Equal Money

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Day 14: International Crime Research - Bi-Polar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 7

This is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-13-international-crime-research-bi.html#

Self-Forgiveness part 5

Bipolar Disorder and Substance Abuse

Please refer to: Day9: International Crime research - Bi-Polar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 2 for background information on Substance Abuse as primary cause for Violent Behavior in people diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use alcohol and drugs as a means of suppressing my mind.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use drugs and alcohol as a means of encouragement – through which I allow myself to express those parts of myself that are usually suppressed and hidden.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse substances due to my fear of taking self responsibility for this world that I have created, and for the consequences of the action that I have taken due to my inability to act responsibility within common sense self expression.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse substance in an effort to improve my status within society, by appearing to be something other than my usual self, whom I have come to either despise, fear of judge and which I have to hide in the presence of my peers, thus presenting a separate me to please society, family and friends.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse substances, through which I separate myself into two separate beings, the one that comes out while using the substance as the personality I judge as the fun or adventurous one, instead of realizing the contradiction and the schizophrenic nature of my thinking, where most in society willingly participate in this splitting of themselves – while refusing to admit that is indicative of schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this splitting of my mind into multiple personalities and as society accepting and supporting this splitting of the mind into various personalities through the use of substances.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be embarrassed or regretful of my personalities when I am sober.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to have a new life and therefore using substances to give myself an experience within my mind, so that for a few hours I can forget about my life and ‘feel’ like I have a different life or set of rules according to which I function.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge experiences according to good/ bad and valuable/less valuable, through which I create an acceptance of trying to avoid certain experiences in life, causing me through backchat to desire different life experiences, which encourages and creates a society of substance dependent junkies.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that what we are actually doing in society is to allow ourselves and each other to become addicted to the use of substances, while refusing to realize in self honesty that we are in actuality hiding from our true selves as the mind, while proclaiming to be more than what we are.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing religion and culture to condone substance use through images of wine and the blood of Christ – to consensually as society together agree to the abuse of substance as a n agreeable method of avoiding this reality and creating image of god realities in our minds where we think we are the greatest thing to ever walk this earth.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage children to use substances to further their delusions of what it means to be human, by attaching images like sex. Fame, richness and coolness to the use of substances through the media, while pretending and claiming that I have no say in how children are influenced.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the media to brainwash me into using substance, due to the use of images and symbols linked to substance use such as coolness, sex, influence, power, money, good times, happiness – instead of realizing that this indicates my existence as a chemically induced robot – stuck in my mind of fake realities.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing substance abuse to be an acceptable form of socializing, in which I will frown upon anybody who suggests socializing without substance use and victimize the person through peer pressure until they succumb to the same mind illusions I have around socializing and substance use.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use substances, to avoid my life and to avoid this reality, instead of changing this reality to what is best for all so that I do not have to continue abusing the physical and myself through substance use.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing substance use to exist in a reality where we give permission to immense abuse and suffering, while the majority are using substances to avoid the reality we have all give permission to.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘act out’ while using a substance and then after I have hurt another I claim that it was the substance that did it and not me – not realizing and taking responsibility for the fact that it was me and that all the substance did was allow me to express that part of me that is usually hidden.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be trapped within my mind, within patterns and behavior such as depression, elated moods and irritability, for which I then use substance to suppress or heighten the experiences – which are already in separation from myself.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use substance as a justification for wanting to have more fun in life, not realizing that in doing this I am subject to a substance to provide me with self-direction – while at the same time allowing me to lie about how I really experience this world – which in effect allows me to abuse the reality I reject even more, while avoiding the consequences through substance use.