Day 26: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 10

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-25-international-crime-research.html



Please read the following Blog with regards to the Development of the Secret Mind 

“…the Secret MIND is Creating the Main Character that Creates this Damaged World, as the Secret Mind is Created By Damaged Memories that Converged in a Hidden Dimension as Files creating Life as We Live it as the character of this World.”

Self-Forgiveness on:

(taken from Day 25 – Child pornography Part 9)

It was a sudden interest in the images that developed due to a response from my body, which was then fueled by my mind through justifications as to why these images are enticing. From there I experienced a combination of initial mistrust towards my own experience, but this did not last long as the energy of shame and guilt towards my own sexual reaction, turned to a new thought which surfaced where I simply knew that I liked it. Somewhere from within me, from within my mind I became more and more comfortable with seeing images of naked children, having thoughts about their flesh which I would normally have about woman and then empowering my mind through further thoughts which made me feel alive with energy, as I was pulled between morality and sexual pleasure. I identified within myself – that a part of me was seeing the child’s body symbolically – as if seeing the shape of their bodies and the innocence they represented, triggered an interest within me, which was channeled by me into sexual pleasure. The other part of me concocted images and combined them with irrational thoughts, which led me time and time again after that to seek the same experience. At times especially in the beginning I would experience shame after I masturbated, however if I then for a few days would stop masturbating to child pornography and attempt to use adult porn, then I would almost feel numb during the whole experience and once I would return to the images of naked children, it felt as if my body became ablaze with sexual energy. At times I would rationalize this to myself as ‘well it is happening to me therefore it must be a natural part of myself that requires expression’ or ‘maybe it is not about the child but about how the child represents the confined placed by society on sexuality – therefore I am responding to an image which is condemned by society, through which I may experience the ultimate release.’



After a few years of using basic imagery only occasionally – only enough for me to rationalize as acceptable and not ‘out of my control’ – I started thinking about whether different images contained different experiences. I wanted to understand more and see if I could open myself up more. I found a website after a very specific search and came across a link to a website where the owner would give out links to images depending on your level of involvement with the website. Obviously as a beginner I had to start somewhere – so I decided to push ahead and after a few months I received anonymous links to images that were very different to what I was use to. As I watched these pictures I allowed myself to feel what these pictures did to me. In the end I distinguished between specific images to which I had specific experiences and from this my fascination focused itself ultimately to the acquiring of specific footage and imagery that would stimulate me. I found my mind reacting to the images with short burst – which at times were unidentifiable as the thoughts moved so fast. All that I would experience were short sentences, followed by physical sensations throughout my body, and if I kept flicking through the images, I could build the physical reactions until I would have my orgasm. Something inside of me always drove my reactions to these images and therefore the game became about knowing which pictures meant what to me as I had come to know what sensations or thoughts triggered my responses to the images…”

The Secret Mind and Damaged Files.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge my hidden memories within my secret mind – where from childhood I placed all pictures, values, judgments and ideas pertaining to myself, others and my environment.



I commit myself walk in each moment as the breath, as my physical body, only considering what would be and is best for all in each moment, therefore eventually equalizing myself as what is best for all – as I no longer have to tie loop and live out the future as the past memories where I charged moments with values based on secret desires, hopes and fears.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design a secret mind, which allows for the development of characters, within which I will live out my life as if these characters are real.



I commit myself to stop participating in the design of trying to protect myself from the future and in doing this – I also realize that for all to stop designing the future which is an attempt for all to avoid fear and death – in which we create the fear and death as we cycle through the creation of ourselves – I have to create a world where all can live free from fear, instead of fighting the mind for eternity - where we create spirituality as means to quieten the mind –while still forcing beings into life situations generating fear and mistrust.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of a mind which exists in separation from the physical, as it’s purpose is to design characters for me to access, throughout my life, in which I get to avoid self responsibility by shifting dimensions into characters – so that I as ‘individual’ can seek happiness and avoid discomfort in life. 

I commit myself to learn and share how to direct myself in this physical reality and by doing so finding ways of working with the physical to sustain life here in the physical, without harming – so that we may clear the files and the systems through which we create these files, through which we created this damaged reality.



I commit myself to see, realize and understand what it would mean to walk as self responsibility – so that I no longer accept and allow mind systems and mind files to exist in hidden parts, which serves no other purpose but to create characters that contribute to the damage of life as ourselves.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design the mind as a holding place for memories – from which I design characters for myself to access throughout my life, so that I never have to walk one and equal to what is really happening in this physical reality – and where I am able at all times to avoid conflict, pain and abuse I inflict towards others or that is inflicted towards me -to rather shift into another character that exists as the memories which take me into character – to best deal with the situation I am faced with.

This character to deal with the situation I am faced with, purely exists for the survival of myself as a mind system – therefore who I have become now is not what is best for all as myself – but a memory bank of information designed to protect the mind.

I commit myself to see, realize, understand and share how we damage this reality through the hidden files that we store as memories in the mind – which consists of parts of information which have certain values – which cause us to blindly follow the information as it surfaces in moments called characteristics..



The secret mind of each is eventually created through all the Damaged Memories that Converge in a Hidden Dimension as Files creating Life as We Live it as the character of this World.



Therefore



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing damaged memories into hidden dimensions as files – through which I created me as pedophile –directed into and as the actions of abusing a child due to the energy charges I have given memories and the information and symbols they contain as the value system that each moment as picture or word is laden with.



I commit myself to defuse these energy charges through breathing and self forgiveness – until I exist as my physical body, breathing here, living – where I am actually here – and not stuck in my mind as repeating memories creating more memories trapping me further and further into dimensions of the mind.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as pedophile to place pictures from my youth into my secret mind based on the damaged moments I experiences, as I connected certain values of how I believed things should be, based on previous memories to the current moment and when my expectations were not met – the moment was damaged in that I judged the moment and placed the event into a file such as disgusting, avoid, shameful, embarrassing etc.



I commit myself to stop creating damaging moments, in which I allow abuse as myself towards myself and others which then programs the memories of those involved – until they too one day abuse as they become and accept the pattern, as they learn that apparently life is about trying to avoid pain and give oneself happiness at whatever cost – which in the current system always has a cost for another – as all are trapped in the same cycles of have/have not, with/ without – as capitalism and the principles of human greed dictates it so.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create files in my secret mind where these damaged memories were placed, simply due to the fact that all around me parents were acting out their secret mind damaged files with no self responsibility or solution on how to solve the world problems – which is everybody living our damaged files – which then becomes society as the living of damaged files.



I commit myself to stand as example to the children of speaking and living in ways that are self responsible and do not harm myself or others – where files of memories are created, in which the child grows up repeating the sins of the fathers and allowing themselves to merely exist as memories instead of here in their physical bodies – due to the example that is set.


Artwork by: Joe Kou
http://www.facebook.com/joekou

Day 9: International Crime research - Bi-Polar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 2

This is a continuation from: Bipolar Disorder and Violent Crime - New Evidence FromPopulation-Based Longitudinal Studies and Systematic Review Part 1

According to the Psychology Prescribed Text Book: “Understanding Abnormal Behavior” (Sue, Sue and Sue, 2010) “Bipolar Disorder is characterized by Mania, a condition characterized by elevated mood, expansiveness or irritability, often resulting in hyperactivity. It is usually accompanies by depression. Depression and Mania, the two extremes of mood or affect, can be considered the opposite ends of a continuum that extends from deep sadness to wild elation.”

(Two forms of Bipolar Disorder have been classified: Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2.)

The following Excerpts are taken from the article: International Crime research - Bi-Polar Disorder and Violent Crimes.

(http://archpsyc.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?volume=67&issue=9&page=931)

Definition of terminology:

Comorbidity: “In psychiatry, psychology and mental health counseling comorbidity refers to the presence of more than one diagnosis occurring in an individual at the same time.” (Wikipedia.org. 2012)




“ Objectives of the Study: To determine the risk of violent crime in bipolar disorder and to contextualize the findings with a systematic review.


Design: Longitudinal investigations using general population and unaffected sibling control individuals.


Setting : Population-based registers of hospital discharge diagnoses, sociodemographic information, and violent crime in Sweden from January 1, 1973, through December 31, 2004.


Participants: Individuals with 2 or more discharge diagnoses of bipolar disorder (n = 3743), general population controls (n = 37 429), and unaffected full siblings of individuals with bipolar disorder (n = 4059).


Main Outcome Measure: Violent crime (actions resulting in convictions for homicide, assault, robbery, arson, any sexual offense, illegal threats, or intimidation).


Results from Study 1: During follow-up, 314 individuals with bipolar disorder (8.4%) committed violent crime compared with 1312 general population controls (3.5%). The risk was mostly confined to patients with substance abuse comorbidity. The risk increase was minimal in patients without substance abuse comorbidity, which was further attenuated when unaffected full siblings of individuals with bipolar disorder were used as controls.


Results from Study 2: A longitudinal study of 3743 individuals with bipolar disorder has 2 main findings. First, there was an increased risk for violent crime among individuals with bipolar disorder. Most of the excess violent crime was associated with substance abuse comorbidity.


Second, there was an increased risk for violent crime among the unaffected siblings of individuals with bipolar disorder. This finding further weakens the relationship between bipolar disorder per se and violent crime and highlights the contribution of genetic or early environmental factors in families with bipolar disorder.


Bipolar disease severity (measured by the presence of psychotic symptoms) or diagnostic subgroups (manic vs depressive episode) were not associated with a violent crime risk increase in our study. Instead, the association between bipolar disorder and violent crime seemed to be largely mediated by substance abuse comorbidity.


Common familial etiology for bipolar disorder, violent criminality, and substance abuse.


Available data suggest a common familial etiology for bipolar disorder, violent criminality, and substance abuse. First, we found that the risk of violent crime in individuals with bipolar disorder was confined to those with comorbid substance use, and among those with substance abuse comorbidity, the risk was reduced from 6.4 relative to that of general population controls to 2.8 in comparison to sibling controls, indicating that familial effects are important for the association between violent crime and bipolar disorder among individuals with substance abuse. Second, comorbidity between bipolar I disorder and substance misuse is high (60% in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication), and in our data familial effects confounded the association between bipolar disorder and substance abuse (unaffected siblings had twice the rate of substance abuse [4.0%] compared with that of general population controls [1.9%]). Third, related work from Sweden demonstrated a 5-fold increased risk of violent crime in individuals with substance abuse; hence, substance abuse seems to be a likely explanation for increased violence in the unaffected siblings. The finding of shared familial etiology for bipolar disorder, violent criminality, and substance abuse is consistent with at least 2 likely explanations for the increased risk of violence among some patients with bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder (with a predominantly genetic cause) may lead to substance abuse, which in turn increases the risk for violent crime.


Two implications follow from the role of comorbidity in mediating violence among individuals with bipolar disorder. First, detection is important, and current practice guidelines highlight the fact that comorbidity may be overlooked. Second, substance abuse treatment for individuals with bipolar disorder is likely to reduce the risk for violence and other adverse outcomes (including suicide). More trial evidence is required.


A recent expert consensus statement identified a single trial, that of psychoeducation, for the treatment of comorbidity in patients with bipolar disorder. Other recommendations include the involvement of an addiction psychiatrist and the potential value of dual-diagnosis treatment programs.


What evidence-based recommendations for assessment of risk for violent crime should be made for patients with bipolar disorder, given our findings? Since the risk estimate for bipolar disorder with substance abuse comorbidity is similar to that for substance abuse alone (reported to increase the risk of violence between 6- and 7-fold in a recent review), we suggest that detailed assessment is appropriate for all individuals with substance abuse, irrespective of bipolar diagnosis.


Rates of violent crime and their resolution are similar across western Europe, and assault rates are comparable between Sweden and the United States, suggesting the potential generalizability of our findings. In addition, alcohol sales per capita in Sweden are similar to those in the United States, although comparative information on illegal drug use is limited. Furthermore, Sweden is similar to the United States in terms of an internationally recognized proxy for psychiatric morbidity, namely, age-adjusted disability-adjusted life-years.”



To Summarize – what was found to be the common denominators within the research, was that family dynamics/influence and the use of alcohol and drugs was primarily responsible for Violent Behavior in people diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder as well as for the unaffected siblings of individuals with bipolar disorder.

Self-Forgiveness Part 1:



Bipolar Disorder and Elated Mood

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a condition such as Bipolar disorder to exist.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the Mind to manifest into ‘conditions’, in which I have allowed myself to program and manifest the functioning of the mind into dysfunction, because of a lack of self responsibility within my actions, thoughts and words.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the mind to develop and exist as various conditions and dysfunctions because from the beginning I have not taken self responsibility for the mind and have allowed myself to copy the dysfunctions I see in others and have accepted the mind as it exist within others as my parents, siblings and fellow humans – as normal.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the mind to become dysfunctional, because I took for granted how the mind simply functions as a program which adapts to what I allow within myself and what I allow myself to become as all the dimensions of the mind – into which I have separated myself into from the physical - as a mind system.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself and others, because I developed conditions of the mind such as Bipolar disorder in which I abdicated responsibility into the mind, based on my starting point of not being self responsible and for not honoring life as myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the mind to exist in dimensions and for allowing the dimension of mania to exist in which I allow myself to become a different personality.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of Mania within me, through which I in moments of irresponsibility would act out in my own self interest not worrying about how my actions affect others, simply so that I may experience an elated mood, which is the addiction to the energy of elated mood, without realizing that I was not acting in awareness of all as myself but simply generating energy through the interaction with my environment, to please me as my mind.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a child to get caught up in moments in ‘elated mood’ where I would observe adults and other children pushing their levels of energy due to external stimulus and copying this behavior until I myself became addicted to the desire for this elated mood energy, at the expense of other people and beings on this planet.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for ways to generate this elated mood energy, regardless of who or what the cause of my elation was and regardless of the outflow and consequences in the world of me allowing others to become my slaves for energy.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate only in those aspects of life, where I could participate within myself in energy, completing disregarding the abuse that happens at the opposite end of the polarity of ‘elated mood’, because I was to busy trying to become elated.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the design of the polarity system – ‘elated mood’ which has the polarity opposite of ‘sadness/depression’, which is where I would end up experiencing myself if I could not get my energy fix of elated mood.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design Bipolar – existent since the beginning of human existence, because I become addicted to elated moods and to find ways to avoid depressed moods, by looking for new ways to up my energy into and as elation and happiness.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of the capitalistic system, which was designed to serve my needs to experience elated moods – and over the generations I allowed the compounding effect of the searching for elation, by finding quicker and easier ways to buy my elation by participating with more greed and self-interest in capitalistic system.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of the development and compounding of capitalism to serve my needs of elation, whereby I pushed the development of products faster and cheaper for me to have my outcome as elated mood. Within this I did not see and realize, even though it was right there in front of my eyes –that for capitalism to serve my needs of wanting elation faster and for cheaper, more products had to be produced faster for less, which means that more slaves had to work for longer hours with minimal income under stressful life changing situations, to serve my consumerist needs.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the destruction of this planet and the beings who live here with me, as capitalism and myself eventually started disregarding and abusing all resources and beings out of the drive for greed and my drive for elation.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing capitalism to now only exist for human mood elation and in this I gave permission to the abuse of all life, in the name of greed – not realizing that the justification used by capitalists that there exist a ‘market for products’, simply exists because from the beginning I wanted my experience of elation faster and with more intensity, with no regard for the planet and for others and using my own justification of happiness/elation to motivate myself and others so support capitalism and how it is being allowed to destroy and abuse life.


Commitment statements will be placed at the end of the section on Bipolar Disorder.



Part 2: Bipolar Disorder and Expansiveness






Sources:




1. Sue D, Sue DW, Sue S (2010). Understanding Abnormal Behavior. Boston: Wadsworth.



2. (http://archpsyc.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?volume=67&issue=9&page=931)