Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Day 188: Family Dynamics - the drama continues! (part 1)

A few weeks ago I did a vlog about family dynamics and the how through using the Desteni tools I have changed myself within my family dynamics or 'design': Day 177: Transforming Family Dynamics: Sibling Relationships. This morning I watched 2 movies - both them focussed around family dynamics and the usual 'feel good American Drama'. You know the kind of movie where for an hour and a half all you see is chaos, fighting, lying, betrayal and emotional conflict and yet in the last 10 mins of the move they manage to leave the viewer 'feeling' like 'everything will be 'alright' and like everyone in the movie despite their despicable behaviours will be 'ok'. So - these 2 movies were exactly like that, jam packed with intense emotional baggage and the usual family bickering and drama and yet towards the end of both movies the directors after all of that attempted to make me experience warm fuzzy feelings - because together with the 'negative emotions' this is the full package of human emotions  -of what we experience on a day to day basis.

Let me give a basic summary of what each movie was about. The first one was called 'This is where I
leave you (2014).' Basically it is about a family who come together at the dying wishes of the father. The father wants all of the children after his death to stay together for a week and celebrate his death through some Jewish ceremony where from what I understood everyone sits around in a room for a week, eating and sharing stories about the father (don’t quote me I am simply drawing from what I saw lol).  From the beginning as all of the children arrive - you notice one thing. That everyone hates each others guts, have long standing issues with each other over past mistakes and are in conflict with the mother because she is controlling and walks around half the time with her silicone boobs popping out - which obviously the children find 'unsuitable behaviour'. Each of the family members are stuck in their own life drama, which intertwines with the conflict and drama that exist within the family system. So you have layers of information around people's personal lives and the drama that ensures as soon as these family members are in the same room.

So my first question is 'why?'. This was something that I spoke about in the vlog on family dynamics, to discuss and bring to the fore the purpose of why family members come together in the first place. It becomes a 'cesspool' for emotional-mind drama, where obviously very little is resolved and throughout the entire movie most of what happens is that people fight and contribute to each others emotional issues. Obviously towards the end of the move Hollywood uses hope and 'positive' feelings to draw the movie to a conclusion - where as per holywood style the family members find resolution within the problems they are facing - not all of them good. Most of the points that come across are about yet again 'accepting ones life'.

In the vlog as I mentioned I spoke about the cesspool of human behaviour which becomes the family unit. Where we automatically assume and believe that because we were born from the same parents we should al be together and 'do stuff together'. This shows us that belief systems are really not of much value in this physical reality, because by holding onto belief systems we will act in ways and accept behaviours from ourselves and others, which as the movie shows is obviously not 'what is best' for us - and continue to make decisions that flow from the original starting point  - which in this case is the belief that family must spend time together, do things together and 'want to be with each other'.

From my experience this usually results in people venting their emotional reactions towards each other, especially when people's personality-mind designs are similar or specifically in conflict with each other - but through the belief of 'we must want to be together' people stay and are constantly drawn to each other, when clearly it is not a good match.


For example in the vlog I spoke about how we would not walk up to a stranger on the street and say ok 'I must want to be with you in your life and you must be with me' and thereafter that no mater what, you and this stranger will be in each others lives, seeing each other often, getting in each others faces, whether it is actually productive or not. Generally, we don’t do that - because if we do not 'like' or 'get along' with a stranger we simply ignore them and walk away. We become friends and partners with those people whom we have specific connections with and whom we believe we are 'enjoying'. Obviously friendship and relationships also have their own design, which I will not go into in this blog - and as such will focus on 'family dynamics'...
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Friday, November 21, 2014

Day 174: The Paranormal Series part 35 - Demons vs. Angels part 22

This blog is a continuation from:

Day 173: The Paranormal Series part 34 - Demons vs. Angels part 21

"So again the reason why I share this part of my story is to show the developmental phase of myself as I was trying to turn myself into a worker of god, a doer of good. This exists in all of us, the inherent desire to be able to either live out our angelic self or express our demonic self. So this yearning of mine was obviously quite apparent for me to have walked the path I did in create this right hand of God personality lol. Obviously years later as I started investigating myself and my past - I realized that again, as with all religions this was my way of trying to empower myself. To try and make myself more than my fears and more than my actual life, the reality of my life which was starting me in the face every day…" 

This following of positive experiences to avoid the negative experiences within myself was how I lived most of my life up until around the age of 28. I wrote about most of my experiences in a book, but to summarise I would like this blog to emphasis what I am saying about what I realized about all the years floating in between light worker god's right hand person to demon possessed rebellion. Most people, as I am sure you are able to relate express addiction to positive experiences in for example consumerism, family, romance, relationships, friendship, careers, having children, socialising etc and equally so with express negative experiences in this like jealousy, competition, anger, nastiness, gossiping etc - all types of characters that we can feel come up within us, usually in cycles that fuel themselves between the positive to negative poles of the polarity.

In society we have come to accept all forms of these expressions as acceptable - the positive ones we obviously enjoy and actively seek and usually go hand in hand with what money and resources one have available. The positive polarities also exist within us as our inherent emotional mind designs. These also come up inside of us as part of our mind consciousness system designs. For example a husband and wife will 'fall in love' with all the positive feelings and thoughts that go with that and a year after getting married will start having what we call 'backchat' or internal conversations about each other, set in negative patterns such as 'fucking idiot why cant he put down the toilet seat' or 'why cant she just let me watch my rugby and have my beer, she is always nagging. ' Eventually these couples end up 10 years down the line, sarcastically referring to each other at parties in derogatory terms such as ' the old bag' or 'the old fart' - all words that seem funny enough on the surface, but underneath we know these words are loaded with years and years of resentment and habitual patterns crammed into one name.

My experiences were extreme in a way because I really went to the opposite polarity of allowing myself to become possessed by my darkest demonic self - literally and figuratively. Therefore on the surface for those who have read my story - it might appear 'out there' - as any person would experience a slight shock or bemusement at hearing that someone has been demons possessed. But actually if I look at it, I see my experience as no different to the possessions we see around us every day. Only difference is we have not labelled positivity possessions or negativity possessions in any particular way, and seems to 'mollycoddle' each others behaviour in society. When we hear about a husband stabbing his wife to death because she 'pissed him off' - we raise our eyebrows because we think 'shit, that got out of hand' but really most of our lives are simply drawn out time lines of events where we focus on seeking positive experiences to avoid negative experiences and in doing so - we polarise between the two - which means they become dependent on each other and thus we keep creating the negative to have the positive.


This I found years ago when I asked but why would we want to keep capitalism the same way if we see how much death and suffering it causes each day - and here I reminded myself of how trapped I was in my cycle of self punishment - how I perceived life as experiences one must have and attain, where one battles against the bad. Therefore in Capitalism, the excuses will always be that life is about learning about ourselves, and who would we be if we did not know suffering and blah blah blah. Really just possessed by allowing each other suffering and pain, for what? So that we can maybe possibly at some short stage in our lives have a short burst of happiness? While in-between we fear the next day, fear having to pay our bills, fear that some maniac will drive into us, fear that our partner will leave us and most people currently do come face to face with what society in general consider to be worst case scenarios.

There are the elite few that make up a small percentage of the world population, but the rest of the population are constantly subject to survival. With survival we have come to accept the seeking of the good to over rise the fear and pain. Is this really how we want to live our lives? Is this really what we want to bring our children into - generation after generation will be born from our off- spring and we are bringing them into world where we live to survive - and that is it. Unless of course you are one of the lucky Elite -but don’t count on it. So - unfortunately I had to place myself through hell, to get to a point of saying STOP - enough. Then from that I realised that playing games with human (or any) lives as part of some sick survival mechanism of the human race, which we call evolution, or competition or 'reaching our fullest potential' or whatever -is just not Life. So yes I put myself through that, but came out sober. Unfortunately now we are in the 'demonic phase' of humanity, and lets see how bad we let things get until we say stop.

Check it out:

https://www.youtube.com/user/LivingIncome

https://basicincomeguaranteed.wordpress.com/


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Thursday, October 23, 2014

Day 164: The Paranormal Series part 25 - Demons vs. Angels part 12

This blog is a continuation from:



"So, getting back to how J and I started delving more and more into magic: What really got us going the one time, boy oh boy. Ok so J's aunt and cousin were disdained by the fact that he was gay and a wiccan. Where his mom and dad and sister (who all lived together) would be more accepting about his 'ways' - these other family members were not so 'kind'. So, the one day J phones me and says that he had gotten into a huge argument with his aunt and her daughter. He said that they had apparently verbally attacked him about his spirituality and called him a  weirdo and lazy and so forth. That evening I visited him and we decided to 'cast a spell' on them so that the 'harm' they did to him would come back 3 times to them. Two days later they receive a phone call that the aunt and her daughter were driving to town and were in a car accident. So, you can imagine what went through our heads as he shared the news with me. We connected this event to the spell that we had cast, and this confirmed our ability to perform magic…"

As you are able to see from the experienced described above, was that as a young person, I had trouble finding my way, finding my strength and something I could call mine, me, what and how I belong in life. Therefore what J and I did with delving deeper and deeper into magic, was to create for ourselves a sense of self-empowerment. Even if this was merely based on pre-programmed designs connected to my 'life path', which means that certain events were programmed into the unified consciousness field to play out and connect to the life design of people like J and I - meaning witches, wiccans etc. When I say witches and wiccans I am not saying special events programmed in relation to such people only, I am referring to pre-programming as it relates to each and every human and event that has been designed thus far.

Therefore in itself the point that I am making about what I realized about these events, much later on - was that it was not J an I who had actual control over our lives and over this reality, as all people who belong to some religion would have themselves believe. All events that would play out which coincided with our magic spells, were pre-designed to do so. If one doubts what I am saying, all you need to do is ask yourself the question, if each one of has real access to these mysterious forces or religious deities, would we not then be able to change reality as we see fit? Why is it that sometimes things work our way and then the rest of the time they do not?

This was a question that I remember bringing to the attention of these Wiccan 'deities' or gods and goddesses as we called them -especially at a later stage when specific events played out in my life, but the answers, as they always are were very mysterious and deep. It was always explained to me by either J or the so called 'Gods/Godesses that a Wiccan's life is not just about 'getting what you want' and solving all your problems with magic, it is about learning about yourself, your strengths and weaknesses as well as learning to understand and possibly change the problems that exist in the world. Therefore at times they would assist, but if they saw that it was necessary as a 'life lesson' for a wiccan to go through a specific experience or to have to attain something for him/herself - then they would stand back and rather be supportive in strengthening the character and resolve of the particular wiccan, so that they would become crafty at hand and not just by magic. Right…. I am able to see that the response to what I have written here will be 'well then you were not a real wiccan' etc. It is very difficult for people to question their own belief systems, because we have been taught that to make our lives better and to be more and to reach our full potential we have to go out there and find what will allow us to do so. That merely existing in our physical bodies is not enough.


 This is something passed down by our parents and I will refer to it as the celebrity syndrome, where we believe that who we are as the physical body we were born into is surely not enough. Yes, for the mind, it is not enough, because for the mind we need to experience ourselves through energy and this only happens if one accept the energy systems of the mind consciousness system - as 'who we are' - and from there generate more and more mind systems, according to which ones entire identity become dependent on as one 'experiences' oneself through energy experiences such as 'feeling powerful', 'feeling loved', 'feeling spiritual' etc. Each 'feeling that comes up inside us, is an addictive energy experience, just like the feeling that comes with any other addiction such as watching pornography or shopping or talking/gossiping with friends, or how it feels to 'fall in love', or the feeling one gets from having money, how one feels when you win a conversation/debate etc..
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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Day 110: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: The Socio-Economic causes of Drug use (Part 14)


This blog is a follow up on:

Day 109: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: The Socio-Economic causes of Drug use (Part 13)



As discussed in my previous blog - when faced with a 'problem' within our society such as drug use - the 'solution' would be to really take a look behind the veil of what is presented as the current solutions - which as we have seen do not really solve anything - to get to the sustainable solutions that will end the problems instead of actually intensifying the exiting problems, into compounded consequences that will drag us head first into an Abyss of human deprivation, suffering and self abuse.


Firstly when addressing the emotion and though aspect of the individuals desire or apparent need to utilise a drug - here one would look at really addressing the 'how' and 'why' of the individuals Personality and Mental make-up. If one look at current Psychology is is designed in line with the survival of the therapist within Capitalism, and therefore therapies are firstly not designed to assist humanity to no longer be dependent on anything - it in fact and this is my second point - profits off of the humans programmed belief that we are emotional, thinking bodies that are in fact dependent on thought processes and that without generating and participating in thoughts, emotions and feelings we would not be 'alive'. So for example if one is facing drug addiction on the basis of being overwhelmed within ones emotional patterns, then Psychology would teach one better ways of balancing and coping with these polarity systems we call emotions and feelings - thus never assisting the individual to release conflicts as we have to generate new feelings to balance out exiting emotions. Where with thought patterns - we have to develop and design new thought patterns to cope with old thought patterns. In discussing how to direct oneself within stopping thoughts and learning to direct ones mind practically to no longer exist in systems of the Mind that function according to attempts at alleviating harmful thoughts - the reaction that one gets when discussing how to stop thoughts - is that of 'oh my god you want me to become a zombie'. No - what is meant by learning to stop the Mind - we are not saying you will no longer live and express yourself - we are in fact saying that the Mind as it exist now as consciousness exists only as energy systems that are dependent on polarities between positives and negatives - which move the being into action - only when and as we are faced with the energy of good and bad attached to things and people. Therefore in essence, the child is taught to become robotic as we give life, people and objects certain values, attach emotions and feelings to those objects/people and only react then for the rest of our lives in certain ways to these objects people and things. For example ironically we are taught to 'Love'. Then we are taught and teach ourselves as we grow up to love certain things and people only. Then we are taught to dislike other things and people - to the extent that we will create belief systems around these people and things - to the extend of harmful thought towards these people and things. For example we will love a partner or child or family member and have these feelings of compassion and love towards them - but feeling nothing or even discontent towards a child halfway across the world who is starving. The fact that the corporations have claimed the resourced of that country and because this child has no way of obtaining a piece of paper called money - which contain the value set by capitalism - that child cannot afford food and will thus die, slowly, painfully, in fear and constant concern for its safety, is irrelevant -because the love feeling does not 'think outside the box' so to speak and does not allow for considerations outside of the basic black and white reasoning we have come to accept as Life and 'Human Value Systems'.

This we call acceptable because nobody loves that child - because it is not my child. So love in this world is conditional to those I want to Love because it makes me feel good. Therefore emotions and feelings if one also look at others examples of how we accept and allow suffering and abuse is a systematised design around the survival of the individual and has no or little regard for life. Again referring back to my previous blog - if Jesus arrived (for real) and asked why we do not love our neighbour or do to others as we want done for ourselves - what would we say 'sorry Jesus I dont like them enough' or 'they are not my family or friends'.

themselves from an energy-reaction based system which keeps all locked in internal

So we have also seen from personal introspection that emotion and feeling systems are taught and conditioned according to self-reward or punishment systems. To learn to direct these energy systems within oneself to a direct living here in the physical - is for most a huge challenge - because since childhood we have been brainwashed to believe that we are our emotions and feelings and thought patterns and to learn to change or direct them and understand them for what they are as systems taught to us from childhood - is for most unfathomable and 'blasphemous'. The energy drops within the individual who considers learning to stop these pre-programmed systems and to live in the physical, constant, free to express self as life. The being goes into anxiety and the Mind will bring up defence systems that generate thoughts which result in the being accepting the thoughts around why to direct or stop these patterns of the mind - is unacceptable.

So within society we see most people addicted to some substance or object or action which allows us to cope with life - be it drugs, sex, entertainment, sport or a life style that allows one to cope with ones internal demons - but most will not face this and wont even admit that this is what we are really doing. We have come to accept our lives as 'screwed' basically and that there is nothing we can do about it and when solutions are presented we will fight to keep things the same, because of the very subtle protection mechanism of consciousness existent within each as excuses, justifications and reasons.

Obviously if one is 'clear-headed' you are able to stand and observe how we live, who we are, what exists within each and what we really look like inside our minds. To do this takes self-honesty and dedication to realize that who remains is me as Life, free to express and live and direct myself as what is best for all. If one fears letting go of fear - then you protect all that is broken about the human and human society - because to step over and beyond the Fear itself has thus far been to much for humanity. So, we even have people who are so fearful of living free from Fear - that they will create Hate Groups and support corporate funded hate groups, consisting of 'trolls' who will go after any person who speaks up about Human-Fear and all its Dimensions and how this is currently the driving force of human existence...



More on Trolls: 

Day 328: Noam Chomsky Quote Experiment on Quora with Anonymous

Day 332: The Ku-Klux Klan on Quora


More on Basic Human Rights and Crime:

Day 363: Basic Human Rights and Crime (Part One)

Day 364: Basic Human Rights and Crime (Part Two)

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Sunday, April 21, 2013

Day 109: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: The Socio-Economic causes of Drug use (Part 13)


This blog is a follow up on:

Day 108: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: The Socio-Economic caused of Drug use (Part 12) In the previous blog I discussed the background from which I wrote the entire 'drug' series - which was based firstly on the Character Dimensions of one type of drug user - and I specifically walked self-forgiveness examples on the 'social-drug user'. In my previous blog I showed that the various reasons for drug use could be emotional/mental character flaws and deficits which cause a person to want to use a chemical to enhance or suppress certain characteristic and memories/experiences - to socio-economic causes such as poverty, abusive life situations, work/career/study pressures etc.

So if one look at the problem we are facing economically, you will notice that most people are being pushed further and further into debt and fear with regards to survival within the current monetary system. Drugs, have therefore become a way to cope with the fear, stress and anxiety - around economic and debt concerns - as it allows the user to suppress emotion and thought reactions to the fears faced. As indicated in my previous blog - this 'free market' principle of our current economy, is the reason why we will 'solve' a problem with more problems/traps - meaning in capitalism the focal point is around making profit, earning 'a living' and of course greed.

Therefore, the problem we are facing behind why people are using drugs is being solved within the current Capitalistic System, not with actual sustainable solutions, but to inject the individual further into a set of rules and life choices, which support someone else's pocket and does not solve the drug users underlying fears, hopes and thought patterns/characteristics, which gave rise to the apparent 'need' to use drugs in the first place. So, as an example we take drug users who use either for pleasure, to avoid pain/fear/anxiety or to cope with Life challenges by giving them 'an edge' and we slot them into either therapy which again focusses on keeping the person in a position to provide an income for a therapist - or we place the person on prescription drugs which are designed and sold as part of a multi billion dollar industry that has nothing to do with helping people- and instead has to do with making profit.

So, how does one solve a drug problem? Obviously, firstly one looks at the reason behind why the person uses drugs - here as indicated early on in this series, I discussed the principle of looking behind the veil of what is the person presenting as being the reason and what is the real reason. For example the individual might say 'I use drugs so that I feel more open and sociable' - leaving one thinking 'ah that doesn't sound so bad'- however by exploring the time line of the person's life and personality design, which is made up of memories and experiences - one will get to the real cause of drug use which is for example that the person believes they need to look and speak a certain way to be acceptable to others because they do not accept themselves. Therefore if the truth were to be told - we will find that our society has been trained and brainwashed to exist as organic robots that are dependent on emotional reactions to our environment and each other and that we cannot simply live in our bodies and accept ourselves - we have to find acceptance through others. This opens the door to a multi-dimensional mind system which from young takes each human through a process of designing personalities, thought constructs and emotion/feelings behavioural patterns that rely on 'who I am in the eyes of the world'. This by direct implication means that no human is every 'complete' - we are always looking for validations from others, validation for what we do, how we look, and our intellectual and monetary accomplishments. This is by design how we from childhood are taught by our parents to create a split within the mind - where the child is taught to not simply live in its physical body, equal and one to the physical reality - but to separate ourselves within our mind to beliefs, ideas, opinions, fear of others, need for approval etc.

This trend has been designed through many generations and comes down to the fuelling of the monetary system and the Ego of the individual. Imagine if all humans were 'complete' meaning if we accepted ourselves and did not seek any validation of experience outside ourselves to determine to ourselves who we are - we would then not have a Capitalistic System because no profit can be made and no greed can be sustained if people are buying products based on what supports us to live and express instead of this frenzy we see in the world, in most humans - within what we see in Consumerism with the values attached to self in relations to 'buying stuff/owning stuff'. Where Self has become one and equal to the value you 'obtain' from that which you own, drive, live in and wear. So the human in essence is a walking talking value system - a piece of paper that has value and if you do not look, talk and act the part then you are seen as worthless - we are money.

So - for example most humans are completely blindly obsessed and intrigued by prophets, masters and guru's like Jesus. However, has anybody stopped to compare how we live now with the lives lived by the prophets, guru's and masters like Jesus? If we all became Jesus look a-likes - Capitalism would not continue to function as it does now because Jesus would not fall for the old consumerism traps, by selling himself into the belief system that to be happy and to be complete you have to fit into the pictures presented to us through the media. Jesus would question the brainwashing coming his way from every direction. Jesus would not feel himself to be completely uncool if he could not buy the newest Levi-Jeans. So - now we sit with a planet full of humans who are addicted to varying forms of drugs to minimise or control the thoughts around the fears and worries we have come to accept as relevant.

So as mentioned before the drug user could be somebody who wants to be better, more acceptable, more enjoying of themselves socially or the drug user could be somebody who has had to face all kinds of pressures within the economic system, and now they again at a monetary cost - rather turn to a chemical suppressant or stimulant to make life seem ok. The numbers speak for themselves - one can simply do a search on the internet on the numer of people who are addicted yearly to drugs - therefore to say 'drugs are not a problem' or 'I am making more out of this then what it is' - you have to realize that you are ignoring facts to protect the current system the way it is. Countless beings are already to numb, their mind to damages on drugs, with most trapped in mind-delusions due to brain/neurological damage that they themselves are not able to even firstly comprehend the 'real' reasons behind their choices for drug use - let alone participate in discussions about the problems we are facing within this world and the candy coating techniques we use to continually avoid the reality we have create for ourselves...

Investigate the current Capitalistic System and Solutions:

http://economistjourneytolife.blogspot.com/


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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Day 89: International Crime Research: Mass Murderers Part 3: Reactions of Mass Murderers



This blog is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/01/day-88-international-crime-research.html


 Reaction Dimension 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use emotions and feelings as the driving force - as energetic reaction - from which I will allow myself to become possessed into reactions towards another

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the building-up of dimensions within me - where I allow myself to see, hear or perceive something within my world, which will then be based on specific value systems, I have attached to it, triggering emotion and feeling energetic responses - instead of me realising that it is not me responding and directing myself within my world, but an automated energy system, linked to information of how I perceive myself , others and the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this energy system as emotions and feelings to then become the highlight of my life - meaning where instead of realising that I have placed coping mechanisms to my world and people - I become obsessed with 'serving' these energy systems, as if they are real and as if they are the reason why i exist - thus further looking for arguments/debates and fights to protect my rights to experience the polarity cycles between feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing these energy systems to then become the directive principle of me, whereby I will give names to these reactions, based on the values behind them, and will protect, justify and defend 'my emotions and feelings' - regardless of the reality of why and how these reactions exist as program language to automate me in my world, towards what I perceive are safe or acceptable ways to exist in a world that requires of me to outsmart and out manipulate others, so that I may succeed and perceive myself to be 'safe and happy'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program these energy reactions from childhood such as anger, sadness, joy etc - and throughout my life place conditions and trigger points around these systems, living my life to serve a system of survival.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive my world and others through these energy systems, where I will judge others who are different emotionally from me as either good or bad - and I will make life decisions based on my emotion/feeling reactions to things/people - regardless of the fact that I am therefore a programmable program reacting to other programs with programs - and this I call Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design characters and personalities according to my emotion/feeling reaction systems, whereby I will surround myself with things and people that allow me through perceptions to initiate and trigger my energy systems of happy/sad, good/bad, beautiful/ugly, special/nothingness etc

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fuel these energy systems - with other adaptive/evolved/responsive/backup energy systems - therefore tying myself into a infinity loop of energy reactions, dependent on more systems to keep me going, which is why addictions are so difficult to over come, as the energy systems are self sustaining and always takes the person back to the same energy patterns, just with different words, places, ideas or experiences -for example:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use anger as a manipulation to change myself or others, to allow me to trigger the experience of happiness within me - this being an example of how I would manipulate life on this planet, to surround myself with people and things that allow ME, to avoid that which is unpleasant and seek that which gives me pleasure - not seeing and realising that the physical reality, literally takes the brunt, the fall and the abuse within a world system that uses the physical as consumerism to bring the human, 'joy and pleasure', to avoid negative energetic experiences.

And in the case of a 'mass murdering mind set'; I forgive myself for then accepting and allowing myself to first trigger a picture of me being harmed or harming another who I perceived harmed me, into an internal conversation of how I will 'stand up to this person', which then chemically-energetically triggers certain emotions/feelings - that I have already pre-programmed to drive me into action through emotions such as anger, resentment, conflict etc - to ultimately experience my own contentment, joy, safety - instead of creating a world within and as me, that stand for stopping these energy based reaction os resentment and conflict - which includes and starts with self honesty as self - and only from there will each one stand as the principle of equality and oneness living, when we stop deceiving each others out of fear of getting hurt.
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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Day 47: International Crime Research: Education Fraud Part 9 – the Recession and the Consumer Part 5



 This Blog is a Continuation on: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/day-46-international-crime-research.html


Please see the previous Blogs on the Education Fraud, to understand the Context of ‘The Recession and Consumer’ Blogs: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/day-39-international-crime-research.html



I forgive myself as consumer for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the Capitalistic System and the system of Materialism according to emotions and feelings.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to grow up believing that everything that is produced and sold in shops is there for my personal enjoyment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop a belief system around what I see in front of me on the shelf, in which I believe that ‘it is already here so I might as well buy it.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that ‘seeing as an industry already exists to produce all these products, I might as well buy them., why should I spite myself by being self responsible while others still get to consume as much as they want?’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to generate an energy within me, from childhood where I became exited as a child waiting to receive my presents, in which I connected that excitement energy into a form of adult addiction, where I accepted myself to seek this energy for the rest of my life- and therefore grew up accepting the Capitalistic System as it exists, because no matter what I wanted to experience that high again.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that the excitement-energy I experienced as a child, is not a valid reason for ignoring the facts behind why and how products are created and the global consequences that materialism and capitalism have on the world, nature and the resources.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the same excuses I learned to use as a child around ‘wanting my presents’ – where as an adult I develop thoughts within my mind about why it does not concern me what the global consequences are of consumerism – because it makes me extremely exited and happy to have my orgasmic thrills and this is what life is apparently about.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be impulsed by media, religion and societal principles, that the highest form of happiness and human achievement is what human life is about.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to call anybody who questions this extreme human happiness obtained through the principle of money and greed and the consequences it has on the planet, a cult member and a Satanist.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to revert to name calling, simply because I reject any person who directly shows the relationship lines between abuse in the world and how it is created and all the groups/individuals within society who are responsible for the abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect pictures within my mind of happiness, sexuality and success to the products in shops.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be brainwashed through the media, to connect pictures of naked people, successful happy people to what is sold in the shop, as the idea behind what that product represents which is deliberately created by the marketing companies and the media – to impulse me through my basic programming design and to trigger me, what makes me tick.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach values such as color, class, expensiveness, quality, popularity, shape, brand etc – to the products that I buy, not realizing that these images and ideas were deliberately created to play on my needs for self approval, to get me to buy products so that I ‘feel’ energetically as if I am now that quality I perceive buying the product will give me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that goodness exists in the intentions of those who sell products/goods, not seeing and realizing for myself that they are doing their best to manipulate the user into buying more, so that the corporations can make money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to proclaim to be the image and likeness of God, and yet claim that I am unable to direct this ‘human nature’, ‘god’ has apparently bestowed upon me, which is the driving force for a majority of people on the planet, that cause all of us to buy impulsively and energetically – directed by characters existent within the psyche, designed through memories from childhood – where the character’s purpose is to try and achieve self completion – which is the lie sold to parents through capitalism – and now the parents believe in the bulshit and train their children to become organic robots subject to the laws of Consumerism.

I commit myself to show that nothing will happen to humanity if we stop living as a system addicted to energy and actually learn to exist in our physical bodies that are equal and one to the physical reality.

I commit myself to show that it is only the needs of the mind, that require specific experiences for one to achieve the ‘feeling’ of happiness and self acceptance and accomplishments, whereby the mind believes that the human experience is about energy and energy experiences which have to be generated through how we participate in this world.

Therefore I commit myself t show that nothing will be ‘lost’ so to speak if we stop, breathe and consider what we are doing to ourselves, each other, nature and the resources by living in the mind of energy addictions – and that if we are to stop the future we are busy creating now – which is the destruction of mankind –we need to consider self responsibility and to forgive ourselves for believing in the energy trap which is fast consuming the planet.

I commit myself to show that nothing will happen to the human as the physical presence/body, if we stop existing as fast consuming energy, because by walking equal to the physical reality in self responsibility, consideration and common sense, we will still all be ale to express and live, however it wont be done from energy which runs in cycles of highs and lows and always has to be replenished – which is how we are slowly destroying ourselves and the resources of the physical.


Cool Quote for the Day

"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the absolute certainty that the economic system will lead to the total destruction of all non renewable fuel sources and the extinction of many animals and other life forms and that in spite of this happening in a measurable way already, I refuse to stop what I allow and wash my hands like a Pontius Pilate claiming that there is nothing I can do and that it is the will of the people."
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/04/day-8-absolute-certainty.html 



 More Reading: 


Day 8: Absolute Certainty

Day 59: Word of God


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Friday, June 15, 2012

Day 12: International Crime Research – Bipolar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 5


This is a continuation from:



http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-11-international-crime-research_13.html



Self-Forgiveness part 4:


Bipolar Disorder and Hyperactivity



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing backchat thoughts around excitement as a trigger point, through which I access and highten the energy within myself, to allow myself for a moment to experience greater levels of energy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use hyper-activity as a means to encourage myself to move myself into action, to complete a task based around fear of survival – instead of moving myself without fears as backchat directing my every step.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the energy within myself to compound around procrastination, which then comes to a point days or weeks later where the compounded energy around guilt and regret manifests as the energy of hyper-activity, after which I crash back into the old pattern of procrastination, not caring and laziness.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Hyperactivity as the original design to begin within children where we use energy to hype the child into a state of hyperactivity by pushing them through trigger words linked to likes versus dislikes and fear – to become exited and hyperactive, instead of teaching our children to live practically in the physical, moving oneself here as the breath, treating all situations and places and people as equal, not valuing one situation or face more than another.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the adult to develop this pattern of hyperactivity within children by exiting them through words, pictures and behaviorisms and through this teaching the child to attach certain values to certain things in our world, which teaches the child that it is ok to ignore, disregard or abuse other things/people, because it does not give the same energetic feeling.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the above pattern to develop in our children, which has developed the consumer-child, as they learn to immediately attach values to everything they come across and to react energetically within judgment to people and things – while they consume the energy they experience from participating in consumerism – eventually requiring more and more to experience more energy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the above pattern to exist in our children as we turn all things on this planet into consumer products for the energy experience we all desire as ‘heightened energy or states of hyper-activity – through which we have learnt to completely disregard what we have done and become and to place everything only according to brackets of energy consumption within ourselves, instead of its equal and one value as life.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing children to become addicted to energy through which they then become hyperactive, as the ‘chemical substance’ that is used to control the consumer market into greater levels of addiction.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program the physical from childhood into chemical reactions, designed around pleasing others in an attempt to appease my mind, which from childhood was taught that in order for me to accept myself, others have to accept me – therefore within myself I developed Bipolar Disorder as I rush and push myself through backchat as I worry if ‘others like me.’



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing children and adults to be brainwashed that food is good for you if it is sold in the shops and advertised on tv, with no investigation of the real effects that food sources have on the physical and how it directly compounds within the beings to eventually rewrite the beings into a chemically induced system that responds to words and pictures linked to the energy rush experience – thus making it easier for corporations to manipulate people through images and words linked to the energy experiences – previous programmed into the being from childhood.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of ‘hyperactivity’ within me as a state into which I possess myself when I try and manipulate myself into feeling ‘good’ about doing something, and to avoid the negatively associated feeling with what I am doing.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing scientists to avoid the real issues behind why adults and children become hyperactive, and instead labeling the person, describing methods to deal with the symptoms and medication – while accumulating a nation of energy addicted beings, who will abuse all life on this planet, as we are currently doing and have always done for self interest and greed.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not directly see what is happening to our children as they go through experiences of hyperactivity and instead of labeling it as ‘normal childhood phases’ to actually investigate the source and origin of the child’s behavior due to energy addictions and food, to find solutions to what we are doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage hyperactivity in children through encouraging such energetic and sugar induced behavior, because I believe that hyperactivity is actually me encouraging and allowing my child to ‘live fully and express themselves’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I believe that to encourage my child to express themselves fully, regardless of which behaviors they are copying or acting out and what the real design is behind how the child is behaving – allows me to feel more alive if I see a child running around and laughing, playing, expressing – which means that even if the child’s behavior goes into hyperactivity I still feel that the child is the manifestation of Life, which I have somehow lost and am now living through the child.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to diminish within myself and within my expression, due to me believing that adults must express themselves a certain way – thus forcing life as a fake behavior of movements, and sounds and ideas into my children, who then become addicted to energy as I watch in appreciation of what they are apparently living ‘for me’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I believe that children are apparently free and without worry – which means that children can get away with any form of expression, regardless of the fact that most children these days are developing ADD and ADHD and other behavioral problems – which is directly showing me that how I am designing the expression of the child – has become systematized and in the end manifests in some children as dysfunctions – which then later manifests as adults who abuse themselves and life as they live according to the designs of what the parents were really thinking when they educated the child and encouraged the child in its expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I use memories of my past experiences where I either attached good values to my experiences or negative values – either way I am filtering through to my child, my own fears, and judgments about life and expression – thus turning my child into a copy of myself as those aspects of myself that I am actually regretting, fearing, wanting or the hidden parts of myself which I have denied, but which manifest within my child as their DNA. Therefore the child in most cases manifests as a ‘little demon’ because it exists as the information I have not effectively processed within myself or taken responsibility for but instead ‘suppressed’ within my mind – which now exists as the core information from which the child is designed – leaving the child unable to understand or even direct their experience – because they are not yet aware of how they are designed as the DNA of the parents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I allow my child to manifest in DNA as a copy of the aspects of myself that I did not effectively direct within what is best for all – and instead of taking self responsibility for myself using the child as a mirror – to effectively support myself and the child equally – I run and  hide behind more adult deceptions while professing to the child that he/she ‘must not do what I do’, thus teaching the child that inner conflict is acceptable to fear and hide from self responsibility – thus creating Bipolar disorder within the child as I ‘train’ him/her to avoid certain experiences of the mind by shifting yourself in the mind to more pleasant ‘happy/fulfilling’ experiences.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing science to exist behind a veil of deception, where they claim to be those who ‘understand how the mind works’ yet they cannot directly speak the truth of what we are doing to the children and ourselves.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing scientists to lie and deceive by lying about the causes of mental illness, because what they say is done in such a way, to protect the system and to protect capitalism, which I have realized, simply by being self honest in my observation, but allow in anyway because I protect capitalism as well, do to a fear of death.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept what scientists say as they protect Capitalism, because I trust the Scientists and what they say as the ‘authority’ of how people function, without standing equal and one to who they are – as people stuck in the same fear of survival as I am – thus giving myself the opportunity to stop participating in the lie – and to see directly through what is being allowed – to speak up and stand as the solution and the voice to the solution.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Hyperactivity to exist as the manifestation of the design of myself as I have taken ‘activities’ – which are the basic practical points that require direction in our world for us to live – and sped them up to become more and faster – thus Hyper – so that more deeds can be performed each day by the slaves within capitalism to make sure that we get money for our actions.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop and design Bipolar disorder through generations of programming these behaviors into and as the mind as a life application which first exists as the personality of the being and then becomes the DNA of the being, to be passed down to the future generations, through mother and father together.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop and design Bipolar disorder through generations of programming these behaviors into and as the mind, due to my allowing the Fear of Self, and Fear of Survival, and to allow thought based patterns around which I go from seeking the experiences of elated moods and expansion to avoid the negative emotions and experiences – which becomes an energetic mind pattern which drives me through fear into hyper-activities, where I am always living according to this cycle.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop and design Bipolar disorder through generations of programming these behaviors into and as the mind – through which I have participated in the points mentioned above which make up and construct my mind in its entirety, which then gets called my personality – which is then accepted by myself as it is accepted by other people – simply because ‘it is human nature’ or ‘how god made me’ – which is how we as humanity allow ourselves to become dysfunctional and how over the generations we have designed and manifested Bipolar Disorder due to the previous generations and how we construct ours minds into a Pre-Programmed Design.











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