Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts

Monday, January 12, 2015

Day 194: Writing a Blog part 4


" I mean if we had to really sit with a religious Deity we probably would not be able to open our mouths other than 'Hi how are you' because we know that what exist in the mind as our real thoughts and experiences are not really what we would like our god or deity to be privy to. So we create a separation between ourselves and the imaginary deities we worship in our minds - how odd. The deity only exist in the mind and therefore one is not even equal to this fictional character you create in the mind that is supposedly holding your moral compass. Boy oh Boy. Any way - so my point being that we believe our thoughts to such an extent that we don’t question them - to the extent that through these thoughts and belief systems we will compromise our lives. So in tackling this project of 'writing' one is taking on what exist inside oneself and questioning where ones thoughts, belief systems, ideas and fears come from."

So as I have mentioned in a previous blog about consumerism versus the human mind - we see it as completely normal teaching our children our warped ideas about ourselves and each other. After a while as the self identities become infused into the mind as personalities - it becomes very difficult for these belief systems to be undone - because even if a person realises their own belief systems do them harm - they have become the belief system to the extent that the mind is the directive principle of the person, this even f the person says 'wait a minute I don’t want to live with these thoughts in my head' - to step out of it is very difficult because the mind possessed the person always back into the same programming.


So just like a machine or robot - if the program engages the person is automatically responding and moving - even though inside oneself you don’t want to keep living like that. This is something all people battle with to some extent - until one realises how the mind works and how and what one should start applying within oneself to get back to self directing the mind as a tool and not the other way around. This de-programming as we sometimes call it is requires walking of a 'process' - meaning finding the information and the techniques necessary to delete/change the program. This is what we refer to as a process - lol - which some have equated to what Hitler would do - rounding people up and either brainwashing them or executing them for not being like who we want them to be. Therefore the reason why I share this - is because some people hear the words process and see what I have described above instead of what the word process actually simply refer to - a set of steps and information required to change something or bring something into being.

Artwork by: Andrew Gable
So with blogging one is also walking a process or steps that one applies and fine tunes until you are comfortable with writing the type of blog you would like to write. Within blogging the topic that one chooses to write about will also be a process, meaning if one is using blogging/writing to explore oneself - then you are getting to know the tools of self exploration to be able to get to the relevant information and application required to change. If one is using blogging to write about how you see world problems and possible solutions - then again it will require a process of getting to know ones subject, and the layers of information around how this problem/issue came to be - and then getting to know ones solution and how the solution could/would be applied to the problem. Meaning there is no black or white template when it comes to exploring the world systems other than using some common sense and questioning how things work. So as a summary what I am saying is that when one begins blog writing realise that you are exploring how to write blog - how to publish it (if one chooses to do so) and how to expand ones writing from there and take care of ones public profiles where one shares the writings - while at the same time developing the skills within the type of writing one is doing. Which will bring us to the next topic - what is it that you would like to write about?
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Sunday, January 11, 2015

Day 193: Writing a Blog part 3




"For those of you who are not familiar with the Desteni tools, what I am able to recommend in relation to your doubts, ideas and fears - is to use breathing when these reactions come up to 'stop' them. You use breathing in this instance to stabilise yourself out of the reaction meaning - as an example lets say you have the thought come up 'well what is the point because I have been bad at writing since childhood'. The solution to any reaction you are having, is to assess for yourself whether what exists inside of you in that moment is what is best for you - is it you living to your utmost potential?"


The next step is to realize that these thoughts we have around our self judgments - are not what is best for us - therefore as who we really are - how can these things be real? They only exist within the mind if we start participating in them often, whereby we attach emotional values to them, after which the mind physical relationship will on a mind and physical level start responding according to these self beliefs. For example of one starts thinking that one is ugly, because you value societies definitions of 'ugly vs pretty' as something real and relevant and something that you judge yourself by - then this will be the beginning of thought constructs and emotional reactions one will develop over time. For example one will have an experience where usually as a young person we will through the developmental stages of our minds as 'thought processes' start considering the things people say and do around us, on television and what our parents do. Because a child's mind is so impressionable and like a 'sponge' - taking on everything around it - what happens is that a child's identity is developed by taking in the values, fears, beliefs, influences from those around them.

So if a child is exposed to people talking about ugly versus beauty (for example), then they too will start 'thinking' and processing this information - developing their own self beliefs and beliefs about others/the world. From here the thought processes become mind patterns, personalities and characters - which are then set and is who we are into adulthood. But, unfortunately because we live in a society where money moves due to consumerism and consumerism only works if you make sure people have needs around personal self judgments - and needs are only created if you create a impression in society of lack and want and a constant drive for the idea of self satisfaction through the ideas of less/more and that judgments of ones appearance and attainments are 'real'. Meaning where we don’t teach our children that they already are here, complete as the physical body, but that we must always strive to feel fulfilled in our thoughts and emotions/feelings and because we educate them about how to feel bad and incomplete. This then creates the 'normal' human comparing and judging and fearing that we are not experiencing ourselves as complete because the mind creates experiences all the time that cause one to talk shit about ourselves. I am fat, I am ugly, I am dumb, what if they think this of me, what if they don’t like me, what if I don’t do well in that, what if my clothes aren't good enough, I need to have money so I can buy this and that, I wont be happy until I have this and that, what if my husband doesn't think I am sexy…. And so the list goes on and on -with the strange things we program into ourselves.


Then we live the rest of our lives churning around in our minds trying to resolve all of these nasty thoughts that are not what is best for all and is most certainly from my perspective not 'who we really are' For example I would like each religious person who claims they look up to some form a deity to sit next to that deity and let out all the weird belief systems in the mind. For example would you ask Jesus why he hasn’t bought new sandals because his old sandals make him look very uncool? Would you say to Jesus that if he ever wants to get laid he will go and get his dam hair cut into a style that is just like Justin Bieber's? Would you ask Jesus by he doesn't drink because that makes him uncool to be around? Would you ask Jesus if he wants to go shopping and leave his old robe for trendy stuff that will make him fit in? Would you take Jesus to a party and expect him to get trashed and talk shit and try and get laid? Would you tell Jesus to get 2 credit cards, maxed out, so that he could have a nice house in the suburbs with a nice big 4X4, while pretending he is happy, smiling to the nneighbors while really worrying all the time that he cannot pay his bills? Would you try to justify to Jesus why it is really ok to watch pornography? I mean if we had to really sit with a religious Deity we probably would not be able to open our mouths other than 'Hi how are you' because we know that what exist in the mind as our real thoughts and experiences are not really what we would like our god or deity to be privy to. So we create a separation between ourselves and the imaginary deities we worship in our minds - how odd. The deity only exist in the mind and therefore one is not even equal to this fictional character you create in the mind that is supposedly holding your moral compass. Boy oh Boy.


Any way - so my point being that we believe our thoughts to such an extent that we don’t question them - to the extent that through these thoughts and belief systems we will compromise our lives. So in tackling this project of 'writing' one is taking on what exist inside oneself and questioning where ones thoughts, belief systems, ideas and fears come from...
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Friday, November 14, 2014

Day 173: The Paranormal Series part 34 - Demons vs. Angels part 21

This blog is a continuation from:



"These guides came from various different religions, so for example they explained that they were Wiccan guides who specifically worked with Wiccans who summoned them and asked them for support. Therefore each guide would be placed with a human according to where they were in their spiritual 'path' so to speak or according to their religious choosing. In the end - as they explained it - the guides knew that all of it eventually came together to create one point as Life, but that different religions were created based on how people perceived different aspects of Life and that the guides were there to work with a being according to how they were developing specific aspects of themselves - which would then be based on whichever religion the person chose to work with. For the humans who were more receptive to 'everything' they would obviously draw guides who would assist and support them in expanding their knowledge. But it was not the purpose of the guides to push or influence a human before they were ready because the whole point of 'spiritual development' was that the human was responsible for developing ourselves."



So they explained that with my specific spiritual path, I would from now on be working specifically with Gods, who would be training me to be able to do 'Gods work' on earth, specifically bringing across a message to humanity and working with healing. I was obviously quite shocked and experienced a slight bit of excitement that finally my focus and dedication to my spirituality was taking a direction. They explained that I would be working with 4 Gods each one representing a specific part of 'God' from which I would learn. Now I started feeling nervous - I mean I was about to come face to face with actual Gods -all of these thoughts rushed through my head - what if I was not good enough, what if they did not like me, what if I was to slow or dumb for them etc etc. You know all of the ugly thoughts we have about ourselves where we place ourselves as less than other people. I asked my Wicca guides these questions and raised my 'concerns' and they of course did their best to put 'my mind' at ease by explaining to me that the Gods were already fully standing equal to me in their task - therefore firstly they had no judgment towards me because this was their existence, and secondly because judgment did not exist in them as part of their 'design'.

Now I felt really exited as the guides asked me if I was ready because the Gods had arrived. I could feel the air buzzing and becoming thick. I felt a ball of anxiety develop in my stomach and I would one moment be asking myself all these questions about me versus them and all the what if's and the next moment I would be trying to calm myself down with my assertive tentative voice, reminding myself of what the Wicca guides had said, to not allow self judgment. I had to really calm down my mind, my 'true self' from constantly speaking out these worst thoughts about myself, while at the same time worrying that the Gods would obviously be able to hear me ranting on at myself to myself, which of course did not help things much. Therefore I could feel myself waning between anxiety and confidence all the time; oh how fragile the mind is.

The first God introduced himself and called himself Deos. He explained that he was in essence the leader of the 4 that would be working with me and that he would be mostly working with me as the one that will be training me on most aspects I need to know/understand/be able to do. So each God introduced themselves to me and explained what they would be teaching me. I felt very humble and very small at that point lol.

So again the reason why I share this part of my story is to show the developmental phase of myself as I was trying to turn myself into a worker of god, a doer of good. This exists in all of us, the inherent desire to be able to either live out our angelic self or express our demonic self. So this yearning of mine was obviously quite apparent for me to have walked the path I did in create this right hand of God personality lol. Obviously years later as I started investigating myself and my past - I realized that again, as with all religions this was my way of trying to empower myself. To try and make myself more than my fears and more than my actual life, the reality of my life which was starting me in the face every day...
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Day 172: The Paranormal Series part 33 - Demons vs. Angels part 20

This blog is a continuation from:




"when I would ask them about why 'they' allowed this person to come into my life, they would answer that - and here things get even funnier - that it was because of my specific role in the 'design of heaven'. One day I am again angry and frustrated and hoping that somehow my guides would help me to change things by telling me what to do or by miraculously being able to change my reality from some greater 'scheme of things'. But again the guides tell me that my suffering up to this point had been a very specific part of what was to come in my spiritual training and that now was the right time for me to be told what this special 'spiritual path' was, as they could see that I had dedicated myself to my spiritual life and was at peace one could say with the fact that I would never really fit into the 'world system'."

So, with the boyfriend things carried on. I had introduced him to my spirituality and he decided for the most part to participate in Wicca as well, and obviously this created a great 'hope' in me, a positive feeling that perhaps things would change. Perhaps the guides would be able to intervene and assist him to sort out this dark side of himself- this madness.

Time went by and nothing changed. As I mentioned in previously blogs the guides mentioned to me one day that they had been preparing me for the beings that would be arriving to take over my spiritual training. So on this particular day that they opened up this point to me, they explained to me that there existed a hierarchy of spirits in the heavenly existence between God and the humans. By God what they meant ofcourse was not a big guy in the sky with a beard but more the life force which was responsible for and created everything. They explained that this Life Force or as some would call it 'God' created actual beings that would represent him in a form that could work with and communicate with humans.

Each form for example represented an aspect of 'God' and each form was a combination you could say between a human and God - therefore the God force or life force was placed into a beingness similar to that of a human spirit. These were called 'Gods'. Then underneath them so to speak you had your guides and masters and such beings who existed in the heavenly existence. Guides for example were human beings who had crossed over and after many years of dedication to the work of 'Heaven' and 'God' these souls would become guides to help humans.

These guides came from various different religions, so for example they explained that they were Wiccan guides who specifically worked with Wiccans who summoned them and asked them for support. Therefore each guide would be placed with a human according to where they were in their spiritual 'path' so to speak or according to their religious choosing. In the end - as they explained it - the guides knew that all of it eventually came together to create one point as Life, but that different religions were created based on how people perceived different aspects of Life and that the guides were there to work with a being according to how they were developing specific aspects of themselves - which would then be based on whichever religion the person chose to work with. For the humans who were more receptive to 'everything' they would obviously draw guides who would assist and support them in expanding their knowledge. But it was not the purpose of the guides to push or influence a human before they were ready because the whole point of 'spiritual development' was that the human was responsible for developing ourselves.
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Monday, November 10, 2014

Day 171: The Paranormal Series part 32 - Demons vs. Angels part 19

This blog is a continuation from:




"Obviously this did not work either because after a  few days he was back to his usual self. So the reason why I am sharing these smaller stories is to show how far along I went into and got consumed with spirituality to try and solve my problems. I am therefore walking the time line of events, or at least those that pop up for me in my memories, so that in my sharing I am obviously firstly for myself seeing and reminding myself of how change has to always be self and not a 'band-aid' method that works with good feelings to avoid negative feelings. That in actuality - all those years as I stuck to the really odd-ball situations, choices and people I chose to live with and for - this was really who I had become and the answer was always all along to change myself to no longer accept myself as for example 'abused' or vulnerable' or 'in need of guidance' or 'spiritual' etc..."

Secondly in my sharing I obviously would like to also assist other people who are faced with choices to make the changes required, but like myself are facing the point of absolute fear and denial, and would rather cling to hope and religion than do the actual legg-work of real time changing. So obviously the changing I am referring to is and was not only on a physical level - for example leaving the abusive boyfriend or pushing myself to become self supportive - yes practical changes are an absolute part of the changing process, but what I am also referring to is the 'self-changing' required and this as most are able to relate, is the most difficult part. Using the 'inner child' analogy as an example - I am not saying we have an inner child - this use to be white light constructed designs within the mind conscious system and therefore were merely placements through which the human was controlled through and by 'the white light' (heaven) according to our 'pre-programmed life designs'.

But the reason why I use this inner child here as an example, while we are on the topic is to show how for example even though the advice from the 'guides' were in a sense practical - in that he had to change himself and ultimately let go - which was why we did on a symbolic level the merging of himself to his supressed inner child while also stopping the addiction to the 'entity' which represented all his anger and jealousy. But what this in essence would have meant - had he and myself really understood 'self-change would have meant forgiving self for having accepted self for becoming the anger and jealousy and thus creating from that a 'backup system' per so - or shall we call it a protective survival personality. Therefore the key would have been to take responsibility for his creation in full understanding of what he allowed and to therefore within himself no longer accept and allow himself to further participate in the design and allowance of such personality designs. So obviously what was missing from what we did, which we did not understand was that changing oneself is an absolute statement and 'gift' of self forgiveness - in which one takes responsibility for what you have allowed, while giving oneself the power and awareness that you are the one that lets go and that within this you are in essence giving yourself back to yourself - where one had stood back and allowed experiences to determine who one is throughout ones life. Therefore one literally 'goes with the flow' such as in this case where he became possessed by this 'entity' or personality design because he did not know that 'self' is already here- meaning me as complete here, no parts missing or dependant on some force or special technique to bring it back.

So funnily enough what all these little spiritual techniques showed me upon introspection, was that we are obviously from very young taught that who we are is very much dependent on developing ourselves into completeness -and this is done through firstly the education system, our parents, religion, and the roles we accept within society - and that for each this will depend obviously on ones religious and cultural choices (or upbringing). Therefore in most forms of philosophy about 'who we are' very few modalities will say 'I am here' full stop. Meaning who I am is already here as this physical body and that therefore I use knowledge but I am not determined by knowledge (the mind). Currently our understanding is that it is exactly the other way around that the physical is merely a vessel for 'I think therefore I am'

So looking back at that whole little exercise - as I mentioned before, it allowed me my own insights into how we have a whole song and dance literally for amalgamating parts of ourselves, instead of realizing - I am HERE.
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Sunday, October 26, 2014

Day 165: The Paranormal Series part 26 - Demons vs. Angels part 13

This blog is a continuation from:



In my previous blogs that I have done on for example serial killers or rapists or child molesters, I drew a parallel between the 'feeling' systems of these 'criminals' as they became addicted to the 'feelings' that were generated by the mind as they followed through on their actions, to the feeling systems that you and I might participate in - it all comes from the same mind systems, only difference is that a serial killer might not have the morality programming stopping him on acting out his addictions, whereas we do - and thus we act according to the rights and wrongs set out by society. But, the point is that these addictions to our 'feelings' are all from the same mind designs as base framework from which we all make our decisions. So, here one might shout at me and say 'it is just not the same thing dam you!!' Really? Have you paid attention to the slave labour trade where people work in dirty, dangerous factories for minimum wages so that you and I can go to the mall and buy excessively? Have we paid attention to the fact that each time I say to myself 'I just have to have that item' and I go and buy into consumerism, I am buying into a feeling and behind it is an entire industry that abuses people and our natural resources to feed me the end product of a possession? So how is Ted Bundy's Possession different to that of a demon, to that of the rest of humanity who become possessed by and are dictated to 'feelings'? How many people act on anger? How many of us have acted on jealousy? How many of us have acted on feelings that come up inside of us, that lead us to take action, because we believe that these feelings are real? Did Ted Bundy not believe the thoughts and feelings and urges he had were real and thus he allowed himself to follow the possession, because the outcome gave him relief and made him feel good? How many wars are fought over people's feelings? I believe god exists because I get a feeling inside my body that he is with me - therefore I will declare war on other people who 'feel' different Gods'. Mmmm fuzzy logic.

What I have come to realize over the years, as I look back at my Wicca experiences as I do when I really look at all the things I tried to do and attain, was that it was my drive for positive experiences, to feel empowered and for that ultimate desire that exist in each one of us to be a super star in my own life lol. So again, I reiterate, which I know was something that did not come through clearly in my video series, that I am not supporting one religion over another. I am sharing that I realized that all religions and the pursuit to belong to a religion from what I have come to understand, exist as a part of the inherent nature of the human to belong to something, to feel special and to create with ones mind an environment in which one can really create any reality of ones choosing. I mean in ones mind, we can really create any belief system and use small aspects based on reality to confirm that our religious belief is valid. Therefore whether one is a Satanist or Christian, it all comes down to the same factors existent within how one finds a belief system that supports ones personalities.

For example, J and I use to spend so many hours performing magic and 'raising energy'. Raising energy, basically involved us doing specific , you could say a combination between a trance, dance and meditation movements - whereby one harnesses or 'takes in' the energy from earth. Therefore we would either spend long evenings at his house 'raising energy' over candles and music, or we would do this wherever I was house sitting. House-sitting became a little job of mine, which I quite enjoyed, because it meant that I was out from under my moms feet so to speak, while earning a bit of an income, whilst having my own space to do my own things, of which Wicca was of course a large part. Especially considering that J and I would often be on the Ouija Board talking to spirits - this is definitely something that we could not do openly in front of either his parents or my mom, therefore we relished the opportunity to do so in our own 'private space'.

In 'raising energy;' - we were essentially, as the starting point of what we were doing drawing energy from the earth, for us to use in attaining or achieving outcomes that would be in our favour by castings spells and directing the energy into our spells. Therefore you could say we were participating in the same consumerist mind set as any other religion, where one partake in some form of ritual be it by doing your duty and going to church and thus appeasing a god or completing some satanic ritual - where it all came down to us trying to out do and out compete the rest of humanity, by adhering to a spiritual/religious practise which would allow us to get what we wanted in life. So the question I have been asking ever since is whether spirituality and religion in any way actually support the human more than it being another consumerist trap of finding ways to make oneself happy, because in life we just don’t get what we want, because this current money system does not allow for individual freedom of expression and thus religion provides for mystical methods and at most 'hope' through which one can bride and conjure good fortune. This is actually quite sad, if one look at it, because religion and spirituality is portrayed as an essential developmental part of the human, yet if you take a closer look you will find that it is merely about buying ones happiness as a result of our capitalistic system. I spent many hours trying to draw and manifest a better life for myself through my beliefs, my faith and the techniques I used to channel energy into my intentions (magic).
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Thursday, October 23, 2014

Day 164: The Paranormal Series part 25 - Demons vs. Angels part 12

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"So, getting back to how J and I started delving more and more into magic: What really got us going the one time, boy oh boy. Ok so J's aunt and cousin were disdained by the fact that he was gay and a wiccan. Where his mom and dad and sister (who all lived together) would be more accepting about his 'ways' - these other family members were not so 'kind'. So, the one day J phones me and says that he had gotten into a huge argument with his aunt and her daughter. He said that they had apparently verbally attacked him about his spirituality and called him a  weirdo and lazy and so forth. That evening I visited him and we decided to 'cast a spell' on them so that the 'harm' they did to him would come back 3 times to them. Two days later they receive a phone call that the aunt and her daughter were driving to town and were in a car accident. So, you can imagine what went through our heads as he shared the news with me. We connected this event to the spell that we had cast, and this confirmed our ability to perform magic…"

As you are able to see from the experienced described above, was that as a young person, I had trouble finding my way, finding my strength and something I could call mine, me, what and how I belong in life. Therefore what J and I did with delving deeper and deeper into magic, was to create for ourselves a sense of self-empowerment. Even if this was merely based on pre-programmed designs connected to my 'life path', which means that certain events were programmed into the unified consciousness field to play out and connect to the life design of people like J and I - meaning witches, wiccans etc. When I say witches and wiccans I am not saying special events programmed in relation to such people only, I am referring to pre-programming as it relates to each and every human and event that has been designed thus far.

Therefore in itself the point that I am making about what I realized about these events, much later on - was that it was not J an I who had actual control over our lives and over this reality, as all people who belong to some religion would have themselves believe. All events that would play out which coincided with our magic spells, were pre-designed to do so. If one doubts what I am saying, all you need to do is ask yourself the question, if each one of has real access to these mysterious forces or religious deities, would we not then be able to change reality as we see fit? Why is it that sometimes things work our way and then the rest of the time they do not?

This was a question that I remember bringing to the attention of these Wiccan 'deities' or gods and goddesses as we called them -especially at a later stage when specific events played out in my life, but the answers, as they always are were very mysterious and deep. It was always explained to me by either J or the so called 'Gods/Godesses that a Wiccan's life is not just about 'getting what you want' and solving all your problems with magic, it is about learning about yourself, your strengths and weaknesses as well as learning to understand and possibly change the problems that exist in the world. Therefore at times they would assist, but if they saw that it was necessary as a 'life lesson' for a wiccan to go through a specific experience or to have to attain something for him/herself - then they would stand back and rather be supportive in strengthening the character and resolve of the particular wiccan, so that they would become crafty at hand and not just by magic. Right…. I am able to see that the response to what I have written here will be 'well then you were not a real wiccan' etc. It is very difficult for people to question their own belief systems, because we have been taught that to make our lives better and to be more and to reach our full potential we have to go out there and find what will allow us to do so. That merely existing in our physical bodies is not enough.


 This is something passed down by our parents and I will refer to it as the celebrity syndrome, where we believe that who we are as the physical body we were born into is surely not enough. Yes, for the mind, it is not enough, because for the mind we need to experience ourselves through energy and this only happens if one accept the energy systems of the mind consciousness system - as 'who we are' - and from there generate more and more mind systems, according to which ones entire identity become dependent on as one 'experiences' oneself through energy experiences such as 'feeling powerful', 'feeling loved', 'feeling spiritual' etc. Each 'feeling that comes up inside us, is an addictive energy experience, just like the feeling that comes with any other addiction such as watching pornography or shopping or talking/gossiping with friends, or how it feels to 'fall in love', or the feeling one gets from having money, how one feels when you win a conversation/debate etc..
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Sunday, October 12, 2014

Day 163: The Paranormal Series part 24 - Demons vs. Angels part 11

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"So with all religion one is able to see how and why one walks this religion and wears it like a cloak. What does it do for you? Why do we create this 'cloak' which protects us, hides us, changes us and gives us rules to live by? Why do we externalise ourselves into Religion instead of us being the directive principle? Is it because without religions man would fall apart? Does religion first show us the diversity of the human mind fucks, where as I mentioned previously religion allows the human our self interest, where we create self interest of 'WHAT I WANT' and our religion allows us to explore and justify 'WHAT I WANT' because no one can argue with me if I say that my god wants this or god gave it to me, or 'but the bible tells us so.' I mean golly gosh who is going to argue with a god? So this is our way of justifying how we want to live life and then we throw religion in the face of any person who argues against us. You cant pick a fight with god now can you? (not saying I believe god exists, merely drawing a parallel between the idea of a god exiting in ones mind and what this means in totality for human behaviour). For me it was also a matter of 'feeling loved' through 'belonging' and through the words that came through either in books or on the ouija board.' All of the above where some of my reasons for the religion/belief systems I chose…"


Therefore getting back to the point of people asking the questions about what I say and me using this opportunity to answer those questions. The question I am answering here is continuing from above, where people say 'well you cannot use a Ouija board and be a wiccan.' Really? If one removes your filtering system and the limitations you have set up inside yourself as J and I did - and you change your starting point inside yourself of what you accept and what you don’t - then is that not just the formation of yet again another religion of spiritual practise? I mean J decided when he started playing on the Ouija board and his guides came through to protect him while talking to spirits, that this is a great way of communicating not only with the dead but also with his guides. And as he explained it - his guides saw it as a great method too. Therefore he decided he was not limited by 'how others practise' - and will expand himself within his 'religion' to include that which he sees is useful and fun. Obviously this for him was a matter of trusting his guides and that that they could protect him and he trusted what they told him. This would obviously be different from person to person, where one does not veer away from 'normal practises' if one fears 'what is out here' or you do not trust yourself or your religion enough to step outside the barriers as set by others before you. Therefore, I am showing that all religion and spirituality is simply 'made us stuff' - and sometimes one would get it right and sometimes one would face problems - but is this not how everything we have in our world came into existence - because somebody went out there looking for it, exploring, asking the questions and testing?"


The next type of question that has come up before, is whether I am supporting Wiccanism over other religions? What perhaps did not come through clearly in my previous videos and/or writings, is that the whole reason why I am sharing my past, is to show how I walked a path of self realization. This does not mean that I realized myself in some religion, spiritual context. I realized ME. This means that as I worked more and more with my own mind and 'how the human mind functions' and it was shown to me how I have made the decisions I have made thus far - I realized that religion and belief systems specifically only exist in the mind and even though aspects of it are based on reality, still the fact remains that religion and spirituality are constructs that support the mind of the individual, meaning the thoughts that move in your head only - that little bubble on the top of our necks where the brain is - that is where thinking happens - and that is where belief systems and religion are created and participated in.



Therefore what we believe exists out there as reality, are merely in fact only in the bubble of our minds. And the mere fact that one 'believes in something' indicates that there is no physical actual basis to what one is saying, and that one admittedly is saying I believe in information that is found in books and in the minds of others and in my mind and because I don’t know how things work physically and I have no control over the physical - I have to exist in my mind as 'beliefs'. For example I am able to hold a coffee cup in my hand therefore I did not have to believe in coffee cups. Religion takes a few physical events and actualities and combines it with belief, which is information made up in the mind about how things are and how things work. And this is of course where things get very dangerous and very delusional - because we fight wars, hurt each other, our children, ourselves and the animal/nature kingdom because of beliefs. Ouchie.

So, getting back to how J and I started delving more and more into magic: What really got us going the one time, boy oh boy. Ok so J's aunt and cousin were disdained by the fact that he was gay and a wiccan. Where his mom and dad and sister (who all lived together) would be more accepting about his 'ways' - these other family members were not so 'kind'. So, the one day J phones me and says that he had gotten into a huge argument with his aunt and her daughter. He said that they had apparently verbally attacked him about his spirituality and called him a weirdo and lazy and so forth. That evening I visited him and we decided to 'cast a spell' on them so that the 'harm' they did to him would come back 3 times to them. Two days later they receive a phone call that the aunt and her daughter were driving to town and were in a car accident. So, you can imagine what went through our heads as he shared the news with me. We connected this event to the spell that we had cast, and this confirmed our ability to perform magic...
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Thursday, October 9, 2014

Day 162: The Paranormal Series part 23 - Demons vs. Angels part 10

This blog is a continuation from:



"So both J and myself would confide in each other when we had arguments with family and from there our magic started developing from 'white magic' which as I explained above as the 'innocent' type of spell casting, to 'grey magic' where we would cast spells to 'bounce' what people did, back to them. LOL. Anyways so basically this meant that if somebody was mean to us or would try and hurt us etc, we would cast a spell so that whatever they did to us would go back to them 3 TIMES!! As I said, looking back now I can giggle about these things, because seriously it shows me, how religion shows firstly how effective the human imagination is in created our own self interest, but to also be able to live out and express all the nasty, thoughts and emotions that we have towards each other and ourselves, while supressing our fears of each other, but under the guise of 'spirituality, or 'religion'. Makes it all sound so plausible and innocent when you are getting away with all kinds of shit in your mind towards yourself and others…"


Artwork: https://www.facebook.com/marlen.delrazo
In the past I received many emails and comments on the videos I did about my Wiccan and Demon Possession experiences - where people misunderstood many of the things I explained. So perhaps I will address those questions here, because I see how sometimes speaking directly about my past and what I have come to realize about it - from a 'direct' translation' perspective creates confusion in some people - where for example due to again the 'filtering system' of the mind, where a person will directly equate what one says to their own point of reference - people will misinterpret what I am saying based on their point of reference. So now after writing about my experiences both in the book that I did (part 1) and doing the videos - I will explore new dimensions of those experiences in this blog - using the opportunity to slow down more and to consider the questions people have had about why I say what I say.



Artwork: https://www.facebook.com/marlen.delrazo

For example people responded to my video series where I explained that I was a wican AND used the Ouija Board to communicate with my guides and spirits, by saying that this could not be 'true wiccanism' if I used a Ouija Board. So I will use this opportunity to refer us back to the 'filtering system' that I wrote about back in a previous blog - where to make an assessment and comparison between one person's beliefs and practices to ones own practices -only happens if one has set in stone how you believe reality works and that your way of doing it is the correct way. This will be where we again just like our parents and grandparents, who insisted that their ways and religions and governments are 'the law' - are creating belief systems within ourselves of 'how things work' - whereby we filter what others do through our belief systems and will either respond 'yes that is acceptance or correct' or 'no you are wrong!'.

What I have realized over the years is that none of us really understands how reality works - is that not so? I mean for a moment consider how each one of us came to accept the religions that we did. For example for most, religion is either something that was passed down or 'forced' down by your parents and family or your religion became something you found on your own terms, by comparing what 'feels right' to you about yourself and life, and thus as the example that I gave about Wiccanism, it is something that 'resonated' with me. What this means is that ones pre-programmed personality designs are resonating with those aspects within the religion which would be amplified or supressed by the religion of choice. Thus indicating that firstly religion is not really a choice, because it is something that is mostly 'passed down', and if one note back to the creation of religion, you will see how and why at the time religion as control systems were implemented. Secondly if one is 'choosing' a religion according to what 'resonated with you' this as I found merely indicated to me what was suited to my personality. And within this what I realized about myself through the religion that I chose was invaluable.

Therefore, one is able to learn a lot about where one is not fully taking responsibility for oneself, by the religion that we 'choose'. For example in religion what I found is that it gave me something outside of myself to live for - instead of living for myself and sorting out my own mind and my own life. Religion gave me strength in the belief that deities and energies and cosmic forces were 'looking out for me' and 'changing my life' instead of me being my own strength, my own guide and changing myself so that I could life a productive life. Religion gave me morality rules and concepts to follow - which were mostly based on make believe, but again this gives the mind something to focus on, where I 'felt good' about the life I was living and about my 'standing' - instead of realizing that I was attaching 'who I am' and 'what I do' and 'how I live' to a feeling, instead of just living here in this physical body, in this physical reality. Another example is that religion gave me a scape goat - if I did something wrong I could explain it away to some dark energy or a plan that coincided with some god or a cosmic journey, while on the other side of the coin, asking forgiveness from some god or a cosmic force - without realising that in 'asking for forgiveness'; to another or even some invisible made up being, I was abdicating self responsibility, and therefore not changing my behaviour and being the responsible factor that is actually doing 'the living'.

So with all religion one is able to see how and why one walks this religion and wears it like a cloak. What does it do for you? Why do we create this 'cloak' which protects us, hides us, changes us and gives us rules to live by? Why do we externalise ourselves into Religion instead of us being the directive principle? Is it because without religions man would fall apart? Does religion first show us the diversity of the human mind fucks, where as I mentioned previously religion allows the human our self interest, where we create self interest of 'WHAT I WANT' and our religion allows us to explore and justify 'WHAT I WANT' because no one can argue with me if I say that my god wants this or god gave it to me, or 'but the bible tells us so.' I mean golly gosh who is going to argue with a god? So this is our way of justifying how we want to live life and then we throw religion in the face of any person who argues against us. You cant pick a fight with god now can you? (not saying I believe god exists, merely drawing a parallel between the idea of a god exiting in ones mind and what this means in totality for human behaviour). For me it was also a matter of 'feeling loved' through 'belonging' and through the words that came through either in books or on the ouija board.' All of the above where some of my reasons for the religion/belief systems I chose...
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Day 161: The Paranormal Series part 22 - Demons vs. Angels part 9


This blog is a continuation from:


"Therefore when I received this welcoming from J's guides - I decided to follow this positive energy experience. J and I started spending more and more time together and the more I spent time with him, obviously the more irritated my already prone to irritation lol mother became and the more I wanted to avoid her. Obviously this caused me to both stay away more from home and also to focus all of my minds attention on my new found spirituality, to not have to admit that I actually felt afraid, humiliated and 'done in'."

From there J started introducing me more and more to magic and spell casting. We started out with the more innocent types of spell casting (white magic), where for example one would cast spells for good fortune, love, money, protection etc. But as time went by lol, we progressed more and more into 'the dark side' Ok it was not that serious - get the picture of dead cats and sacrificed babies out of your head. Basically how it all started was as follows: both J and I were living with our parents. He was diagnosed years before with depression due to a chemical imbalance and was medically excused from having to work in the system. He had spent a month or so in a psychiatric hospital when this chemical imbalance was detected, and was then released as an 'out patient', where the condition was that he would come back every 2 weeks to see a psychologist and stay on his medication. His parents initially were ok with this, but as time went by they obviously started resenting the fact that he slouched around the house al day, doing minimal work and blatantly would brag at any opportunity he could get, especially to any Christian visitor how he was a wiccan and had guides etc etc.

So being a Christian family - they firstly tried to accommodate his religion, but obviously there were certain points where the 2 belief systems would clash and J would meet them head on with a 'don’t you speak to me like that' attitude and then the parents would get angry and so forth. So what I picked up from the word go was that his parents had a tolerance level which J would at times step over deliberately, in an attempt as he would explain it to me, to show Christians that Wiccans also deserve the same respect and opportunities to express themselves, which Christians had been give unconditionally, due to Christianity becoming the standardised religion in many parts of the world and especially South Africa since 'back in the day'. To top that off J was gay and not just gay, he would flaaaunt it. He had long blond hair and was quite feminine, sooo if you add that to the fact that he would push any christian's buttons with his 'I am a witch' talk - and obviously you would end up from time to time, with friction developing in their house.

So both J and myself would confide in each other when we had arguments with family and from there our magic started developing from 'white magic' which as I explained above as the 'innocent'
type of spell casting, to 'grey magic' where we would cast spells to 'bounce' what people did, back to them. LOL. Anyways so basically this meant that if somebody was mean to us or would try and hurt us etc, we would cast a spell so that whatever they did to us would go back to them 3 TIMES!! As I said, looking back now I can giggle about these things, because seriously it shows me, how religion shows firstly how effective the human imagination is in created our own self interest, but to also be able to live out and express all the nasty, thoughts and emotions that we have towards each other and ourselves, while supressing our fears of each other, but under the guise of 'spirituality, or 'religion'. Makes it all sound so plausible and innocent when you are getting away with all kinds of shit in your mind towards yourself and others...
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