Day 171: The Paranormal Series part 32 - Demons vs. Angels part 19

This blog is a continuation from:

Day 149: The Paranormal Series Part 13 – Demons vs. Angels part 1

Day 152: The Paranormal Series Part 14 – Demons vs. Angels part 2

Day 153: The Paranormal Series part 16 - Demons vs. Angels part 3

Day 156: The Paranormal Series part 17 - Demons vs. Angels part 4

Day 157: The Paranormal Series part 18 - Demons vs. Angels part 5

Day 158: The Paranormal Series part 19 - Demons vs. Angels part 6

Day 159: The Paranormal Series part 20 - Demons vs. Angels part 7

Day 160: The Paranormal Series part 21 - Demons vs. Angels part 8

Day 161: The Paranormal Series part 22 - Demons vs. Angels part 9

Day 162: The Paranormal Series part 23 - Demons vs. Angels part 10

Day 163: The Paranormal Series part 24 - Demons vs. Angels part 11

Day 164: The Paranormal Series part 25 - Demons vs. Angels part 12

Day 165: The Paranormal Series part 26 - Demons vs. Angels part 13

Day 166: The Paranormal Series part 27 - Demons vs. Angels part 14

Day 167: The Paranormal Series part 28 - Demons vs. Angels part 15

Day 168: The Paranormal Series part 29 - Demons vs. Angels part 16

Day 169: The Paranormal Series part 30 - Demons vs. Angels part 17

Day 170: The Paranormal Series part 31 - Demons vs. Angels part 18

"Obviously this did not work either because after a  few days he was back to his usual self. So the reason why I am sharing these smaller stories is to show how far along I went into and got consumed with spirituality to try and solve my problems. I am therefore walking the time line of events, or at least those that pop up for me in my memories, so that in my sharing I am obviously firstly for myself seeing and reminding myself of how change has to always be self and not a 'band-aid' method that works with good feelings to avoid negative feelings. That in actuality - all those years as I stuck to the really odd-ball situations, choices and people I chose to live with and for - this was really who I had become and the answer was always all along to change myself to no longer accept myself as for example 'abused' or vulnerable' or 'in need of guidance' or 'spiritual' etc..."

Secondly in my sharing I obviously would like to also assist other people who are faced with choices to make the changes required, but like myself are facing the point of absolute fear and denial, and would rather cling to hope and religion than do the actual legg-work of real time changing. So obviously the changing I am referring to is and was not only on a physical level - for example leaving the abusive boyfriend or pushing myself to become self supportive - yes practical changes are an absolute part of the changing process, but what I am also referring to is the 'self-changing' required and this as most are able to relate, is the most difficult part. Using the 'inner child' analogy as an example - I am not saying we have an inner child - this use to be white light constructed designs within the mind conscious system and therefore were merely placements through which the human was controlled through and by 'the white light' (heaven) according to our 'pre-programmed life designs'.

But the reason why I use this inner child here as an example, while we are on the topic is to show how for example even though the advice from the 'guides' were in a sense practical - in that he had to change himself and ultimately let go - which was why we did on a symbolic level the merging of himself to his supressed inner child while also stopping the addiction to the 'entity' which represented all his anger and jealousy. But what this in essence would have meant - had he and myself really understood 'self-change would have meant forgiving self for having accepted self for becoming the anger and jealousy and thus creating from that a 'backup system' per so - or shall we call it a protective survival personality. Therefore the key would have been to take responsibility for his creation in full understanding of what he allowed and to therefore within himself no longer accept and allow himself to further participate in the design and allowance of such personality designs. So obviously what was missing from what we did, which we did not understand was that changing oneself is an absolute statement and 'gift' of self forgiveness - in which one takes responsibility for what you have allowed, while giving oneself the power and awareness that you are the one that lets go and that within this you are in essence giving yourself back to yourself - where one had stood back and allowed experiences to determine who one is throughout ones life. Therefore one literally 'goes with the flow' such as in this case where he became possessed by this 'entity' or personality design because he did not know that 'self' is already here- meaning me as complete here, no parts missing or dependant on some force or special technique to bring it back.

So funnily enough what all these little spiritual techniques showed me upon introspection, was that we are obviously from very young taught that who we are is very much dependent on developing ourselves into completeness -and this is done through firstly the education system, our parents, religion, and the roles we accept within society - and that for each this will depend obviously on ones religious and cultural choices (or upbringing). Therefore in most forms of philosophy about 'who we are' very few modalities will say 'I am here' full stop. Meaning who I am is already here as this physical body and that therefore I use knowledge but I am not determined by knowledge (the mind). Currently our understanding is that it is exactly the other way around that the physical is merely a vessel for 'I think therefore I am'

So looking back at that whole little exercise - as I mentioned before, it allowed me my own insights into how we have a whole song and dance literally for amalgamating parts of ourselves, instead of realizing - I am HERE.

Day 67: International Crime Research: Serial Killers, Mass Murderers and Sociopaths Part 4

This blog is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-64-international-crime-research.html#
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-65-international-crime-research.html
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-66-international-crime-research.html#

Background info: if ave not been walking the Crimes Journey to Life blogs since the beginning - please read the following blog where I explain the how and why I walk this series as 'Crime's Journey to Life':

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/05/day-8-international-crime-research-bi.html


The Serial Killer Mind:

The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer

My Self-Forgiveness will be based on the main points taken from the following article:


The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer: Sexual Serial Homicide from a Neuropsychiatric Developmental Perspective
http://libraryresources.cqu.edu.au/JFS/PDF/vol_47/iss_6/JFS2002051_476.pdf


"It is well known that JD was the product of a pregnancy complicated by the fact that his mother suffered from disabling protracted nausea, anxiety, and dysphoria coupled with his mother’s use of prescribed tranquilizers"

Tranquilizers:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a world where we victimize and bully others, through emotions and feelings resulting in fear and suppression of self, which results in people having to use tranquilizers.

I commit myself to support a Life for all of self honest self expression, where Life as the Physical in all its forms is supported and not the Mind as system that controls and influences for the experience of energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing situations within the family structure, where one or all members of the family will bully/manipulate or victimize another member of the family, due to expectations based in 'how the family functions, what they believe in and what they fear', thus driving the person to fear, anger and suppression, through which they will use tranquilizers to suppress the actual experience of themselves or to suppress themselves from saying something to/towards the other person(s).

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate other beings into using tranquilizers due to me using my influence and power, to get what I want, by forcing other people in society or in my family into suppression and fear.

I commit myself to stop the mind games in which we use each other as pawns in the game of mind-energy, where we all accept ourselves as characters in each others lives, where there is no regard for Life, and where we have accepted our physical existence here as one where we live to serve the Ego of the human, regardless of the consequences and how this affects how we deign our society and our beingness as 'Human'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as governments to induce such fear and hostly within people, through my inability to directly take responsibility for the problems we see within society, where I would rather have people on tranquilizers than supporting people to become effective human beings - because it has never been about humanity/the earth, but has always been about power and influence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to instead of finding practical ways to express my sexuality, to rather condemn and fear sexuality, as this is the form of personal mind control that humans have become accustomed to - where we will allow ourselves to be manipulated intro fearing ourselves, where we will eventually create a society that has to be controlled because apparently we are so 'bad'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the concepts of right and wrong, which is how we are manipulated as organic robots into becoming dutiful soldiers that follow the guidance of companies that sell us the solutions to our problems and we will follow the governments that manipulate us through greed - instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that most of the world population is on some form of a drug to either correct learning problems, suppress fears or maintain some form of mental balance - which all indicates that there are secrets to being human, which we are taught to fear as ourselves, where each generation will be inflicted with some dysfunction - and these lies we are fed from generation to generation as we accept illness and 'instability'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a society that requires tranquilizers to be able to live and function together, instead of realizing my responsibility as myself towards myself and the world and those who I live with, and in acting and taking self responsibility - no one would require to tranquilize themselves, another or a child - as we will always live what is best for ourselves, which is automatically what is best for all. Instead we live now according to personal greed and self interest and therefore have set the game to that of controlling others through creating rules, religions, cultures and money systems that only cause harm to life on this planet - as one can clearly see - if you walk all Life experiences of people and reveal the hidden stories behind how people really live and experience themselves. Instead of being self honest and open about the damage we have caused ourselves and the rest of humanity thus far through the manipulation techniques and power games of the mind, as seen used in the family systems, societal-systems, religions, cultures and money systems - we continue to perpetuate the systems of control, where we will rather use tranquilizers and drugs to maintain the control, then speak up and be a part of a minority which we fear as we fear control - not realizing we are controlled already - as this is what we gave permission to once we gave into self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a weakling, a nothingness, a someone who must not speak up against any person or institution I beLIEve should be respected for some apparent form of 'power' - - where I continue manipulating myself through tranquilizing myself until I remain subservient to the experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what will happen if I do not use tranquilizers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the harm that might happen to myself as my emotions and feelings, if I stop using drugs, wherein I apparently have come to believe that my mind is more powerful than me and that if I were to 'let my suppressions, fears or desires' out - then I will be harmed and unable to stop the outflow.


I forgive myself for not having accepted and allowed myself to realize that to live in a society where we have to tranquilize and drug ourselves to fit in is not life and that by accepting my role as 'suppressed one' that accepts and continues functioning as suppression is not life and therefore I commit myself to always question what has been and what we have accepted as 'humanity' and the beingness of 'Human' - to get to the core of myself as a being, to understand the patterns that constitute who we have become and to change myself within what is best for all Life.

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