Day 30: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 14

This is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-29-international-crime-research.html


Please refer to: Day 24: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 8 for background information, on how and why I will be walking the characters of Criminals/Offenders.


To recap: the following blog is written from the perspective of familiarizing myself one and equal with the mind, character and personality of someone who watches/consumes child pornography. By walking equal to the mind of the user, I am able to draw from it, the contributing factors from the initial thought to the decision that is made to watch child pornography and how the mind is further fueled through backchat and behaviors, until in time, the characteristic is defined and directs the being into action, through an accumulation of memories, thoughts and experiences. What follows is specific self-forgiveness on the characteristics within the write-up.

Pedophile Character: Person who watches child pornography as a substitute for male/female sexual companionship.

“ Growing up I had difficulty around woman, I always found myself from about the age of 11 onwards, to be aware that girls are different to boys and from what I had read and been told by my older brother – apparently girls would one day be a very important part of my life. Becoming a teenager, I brought with me the memory of pictures I had seen in porn magazines and ‘adult education’ books – where a man meets a woman, takes her to dinner and bangs her brains out. According to romantic novels he might later on marry her.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the pre-programmed personality design of myself as ‘experiencing a difficult time around the opposite sex’



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my pre-programmed design to consist of the pre-programmed nature and characters of my parents and their parents, as those characteristics they accepted and allowed within themselves, which did not stand as what is best for all – but instead became “conflicted experiences” within the Psyche of the being, through which the mind created more characters to deal with the conflict, which outflows into global problems as we all fight against our characters by fighting with each other.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to align myself from a young age to the thoughts around ‘other young children of the opposite sex being different, strange or making me feel uncomfortably.’



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a parent to influence children into believing that the opposite sex has a special value or is somehow to be treated differently at different stages of my age-development, through which I teach children to develop experiences as character responses towards other children, which in essence is not necessary and simply becomes part of the game adults play around sex and sexuality as they fight their own sexual repression, and obsessions and maintain the separation between man and woman which is tied into the value system around having money and safeguarding ones surviving within the institution of family as the passing down of ones genes – which is the survival of ‘my’ characters.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take on the conflict my parents experienced in relation to man/woman, as I copied how they were either uncomfortable around the opposite sex, desired the opposite sex or had some hidden agenda towards the opposite sex as they planned and schemed to lure in a partner who would ensure them a safe comfortable life according to the financial status that would be obtained once the partnership/marriage was designed.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, through media, allow myself to imprint into my character of ‘young male or young female’ the discrepancies towards being male or female which would result in obsessions, lies, abuse, suppression, and character formations – insisted upon by the individual as we force each other into ‘sex specific roles’ to please the ego and the pocket – as we decide from young which partner we want depending on how wealthy we want to be, how much sex we want to have, the breeding of specific charactered children and so forth. Thus in designing and living separation and judgment towards ‘the other sex’ and how this is lived through how we develop relationship and marriage – we are programming our children from young to become the next generation of abusers as they too will adopt values, copied from the parents based in inequality and self-interest.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing thoughts around the opposite sex and myself in relation to them being more than, less than, special, not special, with or without, hating, loving, needing, rejecting, where in the end I manifest myself as uncomfortable in the presence of the opposite sex, due to my participation in the backchat conversations based on fears and ideas I copied from watching my parents, siblings and the characters in movies.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the opposite sex is somehow different to me, simply because we have different genitalia, due to how my parents treat each other within inequality and how society treats gender as a platform for the allowance of abuse such as in the case of religion, culture, politics and the family system.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use images found within pornography to create an idea about sex and the opposite sex, as if the images portrayed are real and have an actual practical bearing on sex and how it practically functions within the physical.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as parent to teach my child about sex, through allowing pornography and the media to become the number one education tools from which children learn about sex, obscuring the way in which they learn about the body and sex, until all that remains is the child becoming another abuser of the physical to chase the experience of energy and self-glorification as is promoted through pornography and the media.




I commit myself to show how using pictures as a point of comparison, only leads to a world in which we will never be satisfied with the physical reality, because there is always a better picture in the mind of what or how we could/should be.



I commit myself to show that the education, family and religious institutions of this world only exist to develop characters of fear, self-doubt, self-abuse and dependency/slavery and to design the individual in such a way that we will forever remain addicted to characters to try and alleviate the fear that was inserted into us by these institutions through words, images and the example of physical behaviors.



I commit myself to show that if the education, family and religious institutions were really about what is best for all – then the individual would represent what is best for all and not become dysfunctional organic-character robots, driven by symbols and images used through media by the groups that benefit the most from the individuals remaining trapped and dependent on being characters.



I commit myself to show that what we call beauty, love, acceptance, relationship, accomplishment, intellect – are all just mechanisms used by the characters who control others to make the individual believe we are accomplishing something with our lives – while what we are really doing is becoming the characters addicted to consuming and entertain the systems of the mind.



I commit myself to show that what is considered to be a ‘well adjusted human’ – simply indicates societies acceptance of the human as a character – and that for us to accept a child as fearing or obsessing or desiring while being impulsed through the media to participate in Capitalism due to the hidden symbols and pictures – indicates that we are not fit as parents as all we bring into this world are slaves to each other’s financial, emotional and mental agendas (characters).

Further Reading/Viewing in similar Subject matters:

Pornography


2012 God created Vaginoplasty!


The perfect Vagina

Day 27: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 11

The Secret Mind of the Pedophile - continued: 

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-26-international-crime-research.html


In Day 26: Part 10, I walked Self-Forgiveness for the existence and allowance of the Secret Mind. Now I will apply Self-Forgiveness on the Thoughts, Pictures and Memories existent within the Secret and Conscious Mind – of this particular pedophile character (taken from Day 26 – Child pornography Part 10)

“It was a sudden interest in the images that developed due to a response from my body, which was then fueled by my mind through justifications as to why these images are enticing.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see an image of a naked or abused child and to connect to that a physical sensation of pleasure.



I commit myself to stop connecting relationship lines between moments and myself to use later on as characters.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the damaged files of my secret mind where I have stored images and ideas linked to sexual gratification – to now in this moment experience sexual pleasure towards a child while looking at a the images through my secret mind which connects the image to the experience of wickedness, evil, control, purity, pleasure, to overwhelm, to need, to abuse, to inflict, to destroy, innocence lost, punishment, childlike, condemned, obscurity, manipulation, blame, etc.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself once I reacted sexually to the image of a child for the first or second time – due to how my secret mind connected gratification to the act of intimacy or harm to a child – to then become addicted to the energy and release of energy – whereby I then created the character of justification – as the voice that would come up inside – as that part of me that could manipulate me through specific words – to keep doing what I was doing – and that what I was doing were ‘my private moments’ – thus infusing into me my conscious participation as the weakness I had become as I decided to harm life – all for the experience of energy as addiction and the false sense of self-empowerment.

I commit myself to show how all symbolic experiences – which are all experiences we ‘give’ value to, which in essence separate us from the physical in self expression – is merely the mind as it programs the being into future reactions based on past memories that were given specific values – usually from within the secret mind where we store the information we experienced conflict towards from childhood as we saw, realized and understood that most of what we were taught was based in deception – as our parents lied about why and how we do things – because they were busy playing out specific characters that were trying to survive. Due to the fact that we as children were not trying to survive and were more ‘physical’ meaning here, breathing, expressing – and our ‘doing’ was not veiled in surviving – we could see, realize and understand with more clarity when our parents taught us their values, beliefs and ideas. Therefore I commit myself to not allow myself to teach a child any bulshit about why we exist, where we come from and who we are – and to stick to the basic common sense of that which we are here as a physical being on this physical planet – equally born to all other life – so that the only character the child becomes is that which is best for all.

“From there I experienced a combination of initial mistrust towards my own experience, but this did not last long as the energy of shame and guilt towards my own sexual reaction, turned to a new thought which surfaced where I simply knew that I liked it.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use fear and morality, as a basis from which I turn whatever image I see into something that triggers reactions in me, which allows me to access my secret mind where I stored ideas of shame and guilt which we as children are taught by our parents and teachers as they stand as the examples of charging the mind by charging the positive polarities of good and negative polarities of bad – through the system of punishment and reward.



I commit myself to share how the education system teaches a child how to create patterns based on good/bad, right/wrong – where the patterns are fueled through polarities until the child designs themselves into a system – which cannot function unless it is being stimulated through fear, manipulation, pictures, words, hope, survival, etc – where eventually we do not live here in common sense as what is best for all – but instead live as character systems – that all have a trigger point, memories for information and a desired outcome depending on what was taught to the child the outcome should be. Most humans believe that they are following the outcome of comfort, achievement, intellect, family, acceptance, love, enlightenment, safety, god etc – but the outcome is actually dictated and designed by those who impulse human beings – which is greed, desire, comparison, ego, self interest, separation, conflict, fear, suppression, obsession, consumerism, etc – all characteristic of the perfect systems that wake up in the mornings – go participate in the money system and come home to the family where you design, create and educate the next generation of systems to serve as slaves to the world system – while all the while entertaining oneself in what we believe is individuality and human rights/freedom – but are all actions that further keep us trapped in the mind - which keeps us as unstable characters that are dependent on the world systems for our survival – where we will participate in the world systems and consumerism – as we attempt to alleviate our characters as we strive for resolution of that which we have really become.

“Somewhere from within me, from within my mind I became more and more comfortable with seeing images of naked children, having thoughts about their flesh which I would normally have about woman and then empowering my mind through further thoughts which made me feel alive with energy, as I was pulled between morality and sexual pleasure.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take self-responsibility for how I allowed myself to compound my thoughts – not realizing that I was in fact building and designing my physical response as my living self from the thoughts I participated in – as eventually my thoughts became me as the living flesh -as I gave in and followed my thoughts into action.



I commit myself to see, realize and understand the relationship between what we input into the mind and who we eventually become. I commit myself to show how the mind is not ‘something out there, harmless and ethereal’ where thoughts happen to us and at the same time have no bearing on our reality –– instead to show that all actions can be shown to follow a line of information from creation point to action.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define sex as a feeling in the body that happens in reaction to images of naked people.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe and to fuel my belief through how I have participated in sex, that sex is best experienced when a person finds ways to stimulate oneself and to become horny and then to chase a picture presentation of whatever will give one an orgasm.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to observe pornography and how this depicts sexual aggression and disrespect of the human form for profit – and from this to establish my starting point equal and one – in that woman (or men) are there to be fucked and that sex is so important that I must have it and if I don’t get it – that I will charge my mind through memories until I find material on the internet to masturbate to – not realizing that I created this character of masturbator myself, through participating in creating and fueling the value system around sex as it exists in this world currently – instead of taking self responsibility for myself within what I create in this world – of which one point is to realize that to abuse in the name of sexual gratification is not ok by me unless it is really ok by me – which again shows the character that I really exist as – as the real ‘Me’.