Day 22: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 6

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-21-international-crime-research.html


Research taken from: http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/


USES OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY – continued

5. Blackmail: Sexually explicit images are used to ensure the lifelong silence of the victimised child by threatening to show the pictures to parents, peers or others. Child victims will not always report pictorial records--even if they report sexual abuse--because they may be ashamed of what happened to them as well as of their participation in the pornography.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing blackmail within this world, due to human greed and self-interest – through which by the sheer nature of blackmail we accept ourselves as the abusers of others.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to blackmail people as a means of requiring money instead of taking self responsibility for myself within providing for my own means – whereby I will align myself to abuse for money instead of Self responsibility.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing blackmail, whereby I am disregarding the experienced for the other person, and only looking out for my own self-interest.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing blackmail to exist around the principle of secrets, whereby someone can blackmail me based on revealing my secrets to the world.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing secrets to exists within my world, where I act in ways that I would not reveal to others due to my actions not standing as what is best for all.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a world where blackmail has become such an extensive means of obtaining money due to us having conflicting moral within society, where we will judge certain actions as so immoral, that we have to hide these actions, even though as the high incidence of blackmail shows - we still live out these immoral actions, but as a society approve of the action of hiding or suppressing what we do.

6. A medium of exchange: Child pornography is used as a means of establishing trust and camaraderie with other pedophiles and molesters and as proof of their good intentions when establishing contact with other exploiters. It is a medium of communication with fellow exploiters in public and private sex markets.

7. Access: Some exploiters exchange pornography to gain access to other markets and to other children

8. Profit: Although most do not sell child pornography, there are some paedophiles and child molesters who sell home-made videos and photos on a one-to-one basis. Some child exploiters sell their self-produced materials to finance trips overseas to popular sex tourist destinations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have minimized the quality of life to simply exist as something that I can sell and trade for my own self-interest and greed.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing capitalism to turn everything into profitable material – and by accepting and allowing this I have admitted that I have no worth, my family has no worth and anything I do has no worth, as it all gets equated to a point of profit within capitalism.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only complain about life being equal to profit – if it affects myself or my family, where I will cry and moan, but if I see it happening all around me to billions of beings each day, I turn by back and pretend I did not notice or pretend that it is not me that is responsible as I am the one that profits from living in this system that uses life for money.




THE CONNECTION BETWEEN CHILD PORNOGRAPHY AND CHILD SEX ABUSE CRIMES

Some social scientists interpret the research to indicate that the use of child pornography is a precursor to other sex crimes and that child pornography is fuel to feed the obsession of paedophilia; Child Pornography and Sexual Exploitation: European Forum for Child Welfare Position Statement, 3 (Nov. 1993) [hereafter EFCW Position Statement] (citing studies that support this thesis). others conclude that it is a safety valve that prevents such crimes.




I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the justification of allowing child pornographers to use child pornography as a safety valve – where I say that at least by only looking at pictures the abusers are not actually abusing real children – not understanding, realizing and comprehending the type of world I am creating where I mask these abusive intention with clever words and justifications, to protect my right to abuse.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the excuse of ‘at least they are only masturbating to pictures of children’ as an excuse to justify the reason why I can masturbate to picture of people, creating a world where we mask our inner behaviors with reasons and excuses – without properly investigating mathematically how abuse unfolds from the abuse we allow within.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing child pornography to continue existing on the Internet, even though research indicates that child pornography exists in most cases as a prelude to the actual act.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate the actions on the internet from reality – not realizing that the actions on the internet reveal what people are really doing inside and out – and is not merely just a make believe world.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give permission to the internet as a secret reality that is apparently only 3d- where I allow others their secret fantasies as long as they allow me my secret fantasies – where the internet has grow to such an extent that anything and everything is allowed under the guise of ‘its only a virtual reality and not real.’


I commit myself to show how the human has allowed itself to separate its actions into realities that are always justified as acceptable by society due to it existing in a bubble called religion, internet, culture, family, relationship, sport, entertainment, individuality, free-will – and to show that these bubbles are how we protect the deception that we clearly see and understand – however never want to take responsibility for equal and one to its existence.


Further Reading:

Success and Reward

The Visible and Invisible

Day 53: Slavery Exploiting Sex, Life and Labor in the Consumerism Concentration Camp

Day 21: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 5

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-20-international-crime-research.html


Research taken from: http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/


USES OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY - continued

“3. To lower a child's inhibitions: Child abusers use pictures of other children having sex to assist in the seduction of a child and encourage reluctant children to freely participate. Images are often used as a way to show a child what the offender wants the child victim to do. Pornography may be used under the guise of "sex education" to create sexual arousal in the child.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lower the inhibitions of the person who I am sexually attracted to through manipulative words, behavior and the use of alcohol.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to trick someone into having sex with me, which by implication shows that I am not effective in communication and that I have created a world where people are so judgmental of each other, that we need to trick and persuade according to status and money to get some one to have sex with us.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to turn myself into a picture representing pornographic images, which I believe will please the person whom I want to have sex with.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to the pictures existent within the media and pornography, through which I evaluate my self-worth as I allow the value system of society based on beauty vs. ugly to become the value of me.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to change my behavior around the opposite sex, to change the picture of me, so that the person will evaluate what they see through mathematic equations relating to value systems within their minds based on fantasies.


I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that each time when I am shopping for clothes etc – that I compare myself within the clothing to that of a beautiful, attractive woman – I am in fact separating myself from myself into a picture loaded with sexual value.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place value into the image and behavioral patterns of celebrities, placing value in what they wear, not because I really care about the material or the shape of clothing – as we have seen fashions deliberately becoming sillier and sillier – but instead their success as pictures are equated to worth which is equated to money – therefore:


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to also want to feel self worth by experiencing the worth of money I have equated within the clothing worn by celebrities.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the education system to exists as schools where children are forced into categories based on popularity and status, through which they compound sexual energy towards each other, and by doing so – prepare the way for themselves to become sex systems, dependent on pictures and societal status to achieve arousal and to engage in sexual activity towards the perception they have of each other.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the education system, therefore to not educate children on the value of the physical and how to live and breathe practically in your physical body – but instead turns a blind eye to the dynamics that play out in the schooling systems based on comparison, ego, sex, judgment, achievement – where the school become the educators and perpetrators of the human ego – which goes out into the world prepared by knowledge and information on how to best abuse life on this planet.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as parent to use the way children participate in sex to further perpetuate sexual abuse in this world – where I will stand by and watch as my secret sexual desires actually play out right in front of me as my children become addicted to pornography and sexual abuse towards each other –while doing nothing about it because I believe this form of ‘evolution’ or ‘growth of the child to be natural – when in fact there is nothing natural about becoming dysfunctional and watching as the future generations become even more dysfunctional as they copy and modify the already abusive tendencies existent within dysfunctional humans.

4. Preservation of the child's youth: Child pornography ensures that there will always be an image of the child at the age of sexual preference.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing sexual preferences to have become the reason and purpose for why people can cheat, lie and deceive.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cheat, lie and deceive people to have sex with me based on my sexual references which I have designed in my mind through years of watching pornography – which by its design does not align with how the physical really functions during sex and is purely based on the secret mind which derives energy from stimulating the mind through pain, punishment, power, submission - everything which is abusive towards self – and therefore creates energetic reactions within the being as we react sexually towards that which is ‘wrong’.


Therefore;

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to equate the value of the physical simply to a tool that can function in how I energetically charge symbols and images in my mind to get as much sexual energy from my interaction with another as possible. Therefore other people become purely symbols to give me my sexual rush, while I lie, cheat and deceive with special words and gestured to lure the partner that I really want – based on these ‘sexual preferences’.


I commit myself to reveal to all – how charged simple, societally accepted words are like ‘sexual preferences’, ‘likes’, ‘dislikes – and how we have energetically charged what we see each day – to fulfill the secret mind sexual fantasies – where sex is no more than seeking the greatest rush and not about physical interaction based on physical self expression.


I commit myself to no longer allow energetically charged words, pictures and situations within my world, to create an environment where everything is based on practical common sense to support Life here Equally, instead of the systematized, hidden world of energy addiction, through which we have willingly allowed all forms of abuse to be justified due to our addiction to energy.

Day 6: Drunk and Horny

Last night after I wrote my previous blog: ‘Day 5 Radical changes made to Rape Laws’ – I had an interesting dream.  I dreamed about a guy I use to know when I was a police reservist. He was married and his wife was pregnant, but he was into messing around with other woman. At quite a few police parties he tried to wangle his way into my pants. After one such evening, where we had a braai (barbeque) at the police station, he got very drunk and attempted the whole evening to get me to go off to some dark corner and have sex with him. I was somewhat intrigued by all the attention he was giving me as he was a very ‘attractive guy’ with a ‘well-built body’. So I played hard to get because I was still a virgin and very shy when it came to guys and also had made the decision that I would not do anything with him because he was married. 

This particular evening the 2 of us were catching a lift with a lady who was off being intimate with someone in a dark corner. It was cold, the party was over and now we were ready to go home. The two of us decided to sit and wait in the car for our lift. After a few minutes he again starts rambling on about how he wants to have sex with me and leans over (we are both sitting in the backseat) to try and kiss me. I stop him and I pull away, realizing that this situation was not to be encouraged and firmly explained to him, again that I was not interested in doing anything with him. 

He drunkly mumbles something else, leans forward and locks the two front doors. Watching him, I cannot quite grasp what it is that he is doing, until he locks his back door and leans across me to lock my door. My brain tells me that something is wrong, but at the same time I try and make light of what I am witnessing and explain it away as ‘he’s probably just playing with me’. He turns and pounces on me, pulling on my shirt with his mouth on mine. I squirm underneath him, realizing due to his intensity that he was being very serious. I struggled with him and found it difficult to say anything as his mouth was kissing mine so hard that he was pushing my head against the seat. He was attempting to undo the buttons on my shirt and alternated between my shirt and my jean buttons.  I am very glad actually that he was so drunk, because I was able eventually to push him off me and yell at him to ‘STOP!’ He sat back in his seat and I sat in mine frozen in disbelief. He stopped any further attempts and I think it was partly due to his inebriation, that he was unable to complete this idea he had to ‘have sex with me’.  After a few more minutes our driver arrives and we go home.

That evening and for a few days afterwards I was in shock. I felt disgusted and uncomfortable within my own sexuality. I was starting to blame and judge myself for having allowed it to ‘go that far’ simply because I allowed him in the past to flirt with me. Being a young woman, I was flattered by the attempts of this man; it made me feel wanted and special. After this event I judged myself for what I had allowed.

It was interesting that I had this dream after I wrote about rape and after applying self-forgiveness for myself from the perspective of accepting and allowing rape in this world.  Therefore I will now expand on the self-forgiveness done in my previous blog with regards to my fear of rape:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for the experience I had when I was a young woman where a man attempted to force himself on me sexually.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear saying the word rape and for judging myself by saying I am ‘using such a strong word’ in an attempt to downplay what the man did.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be strong and say to myself stop making more out of it than what it was.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to now and back then protect the man’s ego, by saying to myself ‘it was just one moment, it was not such a big thing’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to protect my ego by saying to myself ‘don’t speak about it, you’ll just embarrass yourself’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being raped.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the consequences of flirting with a man.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for the actions of another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my sexuality, based on the actions of another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to hide away from scenes and stories of rape, because I allow myself to react to the act.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react sexually to images of rape and of woman being overwhelmed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse sexuality by allowing myself and others to play sexual games and encourage sexual dishonesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take my actions and allowanced for granted and for not taking self-responsibility for what I allowed within myself and within what I was encouraging in another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have judged myself for not knowing what I was doing and not being aware of the possible consequences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and my sexuality based on not understanding what I was doing and therefore separating myself from my physical body and my sexuality, through fear and judgment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a polarity within myself based on the desire for a sexual experience and when I have the sexual encounter I program it as disgusting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design sexuality within my mind based on desire and disgust and living this our in repeating patterns.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be programmed by my parents into believing that sex has to happen at certain times, with a certain man, within certain circumstances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design secret mind desires in relation to sex based on the fantasies of rape, dominance and to be desired.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire sex and then go into the polarity experience of disgust at self due to past experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing past experiences to determine my experiences now.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing societal conditions of right and wrong to be the basis from which I have programmed my own sexual behaviors, causing me to judge myself within certain experiences after which I create polarity points between which I bounce from  desire to disgust.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust myself, after what happened, because I believed that I was to blame for what nearly happened because I was flirting – therefore:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself after that event to experience desire for flirtation with men but at the same time fearing getting hurt and then not trusting myself because of the fear and inevitably placing myself in compromising positions, fueling the pattern of fear until it because a pattern of self-abuse.

I commit myself to honor myself in all decisions I make, based on self-honesty and practical common sense.

I commit myself to remove and delete all memories, based on ‘remembering what I did right or wrong – through which I keep feeding the patterns of the past.

I commit myself to developing full trust in myself, by clearing the past, clearing my mind and developing self-honesty so that I can trust every word and action.

I commit myself in removing fear from sexual exploration and to trust myself in developing an effective sexual expression, which supports me in my physical and my partner.

I commit myself to honor life, through removing any self-abuse patterns, based on guilting myself or my partner.

I commit myself to develop effective means of communication with my partner so that neither one is ever in a situation of experience discomfort or anxiety within sex.

I commit myself to stop fear and anxiety during sex, within myself by stopping any reactions, memories, thoughts, beliefs and moving myself in self-trust into an effective form of self expression.