This blog is a continuation from:
In my previous blogs that I have done on for example serial killers or rapists or child molesters, I drew a parallel between the 'feeling' systems of these 'criminals' as they became addicted to the 'feelings' that were generated by the mind as they followed through on their actions, to the feeling systems that you and I might participate in - it all comes from the same mind systems, only difference is that a serial killer might not have the morality programming stopping him on acting out his addictions, whereas we do - and thus we act according to the rights and wrongs set out by society. But, the point is that these addictions to our 'feelings' are all from the same mind designs as base framework from which we all make our decisions. So, here one might shout at me and say 'it is just not the same thing dam you!!' Really? Have you paid attention to the slave labour trade where people work in dirty, dangerous factories for minimum wages so that you and I can go to the mall and buy excessively? Have we paid attention to the fact that each time I say to myself 'I just have to have that item' and I go and buy into consumerism, I am buying into a feeling and behind it is an entire industry that abuses people and our natural resources to feed me the end product of a possession? So how is Ted Bundy's Possession different to that of a demon, to that of the rest of humanity who become possessed by and are dictated to 'feelings'? How many people act on anger? How many of us have acted on jealousy? How many of us have acted on feelings that come up inside of us, that lead us to take action, because we believe that these feelings are real? Did Ted Bundy not believe the thoughts and feelings and urges he had were real and thus he allowed himself to follow the possession, because the outcome gave him relief and made him feel good? How many wars are fought over people's feelings? I believe god exists because I get a feeling inside my body that he is with me - therefore I will declare war on other people who 'feel' different Gods'. Mmmm fuzzy logic.
What I have come to realize over the years, as I look back at my Wicca experiences as I do when I really look at all the things I tried to do and attain, was that it was my drive for positive experiences, to feel empowered and for that ultimate desire that exist in each one of us to be a super star in my own life lol. So again, I reiterate, which I know was something that did not come through clearly in my video series, that I am not supporting one religion over another. I am sharing that I realized that all religions and the pursuit to belong to a religion from what I have come to understand, exist as a part of the inherent nature of the human to belong to something, to feel special and to create with ones mind an environment in which one can really create any reality of ones choosing. I mean in ones mind, we can really create any belief system and use small aspects based on reality to confirm that our religious belief is valid. Therefore whether one is a Satanist or Christian, it all comes down to the same factors existent within how one finds a belief system that supports ones personalities.
For example, J and I use to spend so many hours performing magic and 'raising energy'. Raising energy, basically involved us doing specific , you could say a combination between a trance, dance and meditation movements - whereby one harnesses or 'takes in' the energy from earth. Therefore we would either spend long evenings at his house 'raising energy' over candles and music, or we would do this wherever I was house sitting. House-sitting became a little job of mine, which I quite enjoyed, because it meant that I was out from under my moms feet so to speak, while earning a bit of an income, whilst having my own space to do my own things, of which Wicca was of course a large part. Especially considering that J and I would often be on the Ouija Board talking to spirits - this is definitely something that we could not do openly in front of either his parents or my mom, therefore we relished the opportunity to do so in our own 'private space'.
In 'raising energy;' - we were essentially, as the starting point of what we were doing drawing energy from the earth, for us to use in attaining or achieving outcomes that would be in our favour by castings spells and directing the energy into our spells. Therefore you could say we were participating in the same consumerist mind set as any other religion, where one partake in some form of ritual be it by doing your duty and going to church and thus appeasing a god or completing some satanic ritual - where it all came down to us trying to out do and out compete the rest of humanity, by adhering to a spiritual/religious practise which would allow us to get what we wanted in life. So the question I have been asking ever since is whether spirituality and religion in any way actually support the human more than it being another consumerist trap of finding ways to make oneself happy, because in life we just don’t get what we want, because this current money system does not allow for individual freedom of expression and thus religion provides for mystical methods and at most 'hope' through which one can bride and conjure good fortune. This is actually quite sad, if one look at it, because religion and spirituality is portrayed as an essential developmental part of the human, yet if you take a closer look you will find that it is merely about buying ones happiness as a result of our capitalistic system. I spent many hours trying to draw and manifest a better life for myself through my beliefs, my faith and the techniques I used to channel energy into my intentions (magic).