This blog is a continuation from:
The one things that became more prominent within myself over these years, was as I have mentioned before this false sense of empowerment. I felt strongly that the 'world system' was one tracked, meaning you work (if you are able to find employment), you get a boyfriend or girlfriend, you pay your taxes, you get married and you have kids - and if one did not really have an interest in the mainstream flow of what we would call 'life' - then it becomes very difficult functioning in the world as it exists currently. Therefore as the years went by I retreated more and more into myself, into my belief systems and obviously this resulted in me getting more and more involved in my spiritual beliefs.
Therefore as I mentioned in a previous blog - I developed from there an interest in 'alternative medicines' and specifically after visiting a Kinesiologist, I knew that this is what I wanted to do. Years later of course as I looked back at the factors involved in my decision making, I realized that my 'choices' in wanting to become a 'healer was partly to do with the fact that I had a lot of 'healing' to do myself, because of the fact that my relationship, or shall I say lack of a relationship with both my father and mother left me with low self esteem and low self worth - which is something which one often sees in children, who do not develop or develop 'skewed' relationships with one or both parents. The child, in essence becomes as an adult the direct reflection of how they experienced themselves with their parents, because obviously if a child sees that a parent treats them with slight indifference, then the child accepts this 'verdict' by the parent, of who the child is and will accept this as their own 'identity' or 'self-belief' and will become 'self indifferent'. This self-indifference for example, then branches out into various other 'I am statements' such as I am nothing, or I don’t belong, or I am ugly, or nobody wants me.
expectations of others, instead of realizing I AM HERE - meaning here I am in my physical body, I am already complete, therefore how can parts of me be with and from other people? But, again because the capitalists and marketers and psychologists study and formulate information used in consumerism to support consumerism, the truth of I AM HERE, does not get mentioned as a definitive truth, because this would be the entire collapse of the consumerism system as people will stop engaging the outside world for 'self fulfillment' but will express self - which are 2 very different things. Currently the consumerism market exist on the premise of pushing and impulsing humanity to buy as much as possible, in the pursuit for personal happiness and fulfillment. Unfortunately growing up, our parents believed the brainwashing, and raised their children to become energy systems and obviously as all of us get addicted to the energy systems of the mind, it becomes more and more difficult for us to stop and see what we are doing and change...