Saturday, December 20, 2014

Day 189: Family Dynamics - the drama continues! (part 2)

Continuing from:

Day 188: Family Dynamics - the drama continues! (part 1)

So basically this move starts out with estranged, pissed off, resentful family members coming together because of a dying fathers wish` and then for the 7 days that they 'mourn together' these family members bicker and fight and at times physical climb into each other. So my first question was why sit in a room with people you dislike (they even admit that they do not like each other) all for a man who is dead? Here obviously the belief exists that a dead person is now siting in some afterlife holding you accountable for whether you follow through on his wishes or not. Does this change the fact that while he was alive the family were distant and angry with each other? No of course not - it does not change the circumstances before the man died and certainly did not change the way that the person died (usually from some disease like Cancer). So again a belief directed people instead of us directing ourselves.

Ok so now one would argue that the family were driven to communicate and try and sort out their issues because of the circumstances around the fathers death. Yes but why must we as human beings apparently wait until we emotionally manipulate ourselves into changing - because that is what we are doing if a persons approaching death is the reason for us to do something.

Therefore this story shows us how self absorbed we are as human beings and how we are driven by guilt and fear and resentment and tradition - which shows that this is what we are as the essence of ourselves.

Ok so now the family are together and they are in the room for 10 mins and the fighting starts. Is this how we 'honour' the memory of a dead person - with our emotional turmoil that takes precedence -again showing the layers of self interest that exist as the human. I mean why do we then do these types of ceremonies if all we are there to do is take center stage with our emotion al turmoil?

Now as the story unfolds - you see that each person is trapped in some form of a drama - there is cheating and lying and money grabbing etc etc. Again I sit there and I have to ask myself the question. I know that I don’t participate that much in the system with people, but boy oh boy how much of what is depicted in these movies really happens to and by people and why do we find this entertaining? So 2 questions came up in me - how much of this is based on real life stories? I mean towards the end of the movie every one of the family members was having an affair. I was like WHAT?? Ok so if this is slight dramatization - lets say of even 40 percent of it was true,  - then that is seriously messed up. Yikes. Next question was why do we find this entertaining - the nastiest of human behaviour? I mean for me as someone who studies and wants to understand the human mind and human behaviour it was, as this blog indicates a lesson about human behaviour and also about the human mind and entertainment. I did not enjoy the movie in the least because as I have now summarized it was about decrepit human behaviour, which is encapsulated in the family system into acceptable dramatic behaviour - which sorry to say is not only Hollywood 'dramatization'. This is what happens in many family environments - an outlet for emotional and reactive mind patterns, in an environment where you get away with it because of a belief that family must take each others 'stuff' and allow each other an acceptable platform for being 'who they are'. Ouchy.

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