This blog is a continuation from:
Background info: if you have not been walking the Crimes Journey to Life blogs since the beginning - please read the following blog where I explain the how and why I walk this series as 'Crime's Journey to Life':
The Serial Killer Mind:
The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer: Agressive Behavior
My Self-Forgiveness will be based on the main points taken from the following article:
The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer: Sexual Serial Homicide from a Neuropsychiatric Developmental
Throughout the article, they refer to Jeffrey Dahmer as having 'Asperger’s Disorder'.
Definition of Asperger’s Disorder:
"Asperger's syndrome is a developmental disorder that affects a person's ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others. Children with Asperger's syndrome typically exhibit social awkwardness and an all-absorbing interest in specific topics.
Doctors group Asperger's syndrome with other conditions that are called autistic spectrum disorders or pervasive developmental disorders. These disorders all involve problems with social skills and communication. Asperger's syndrome is generally thought to be at the milder end of this spectrum."
Jeffrey Dahmer and Aggressive Behavior Associated with Asperger’s Disorder
"Several psychiatric and developmental factors may be related to the origin of aggression in JD’s case, of which AD may arguably be the most important. Across the life span, significant violent be-havior has not been frequently observed among those with AD.
However, an association between aggression and AD does not appear to be uncommon during childhood. Often, aggression appears to be due to the frustration associated with low tolerance in AD children for environmental change, but has also been observed in affected individuals who have impairments in their ability to interpret nonverbal cues. Wolff also conducted a study whose profiles conform closely to AD and found that girls but not boys were more likely than controls to engage in antisocial behaviors including various forms of aggression.
Beyond whether AD in general is statistically significantly associated with violent behavior, it is possible that specific subtypes of AD may have an increased risk for violence. Therefore, an analysis of AD cases available in the psychiatric literature may provide a clue regarding a possible association between AD and violence.
Baron-Cohen described the case of a 21-year-old man with AD who had been involved in numerous physical attacks toward others. The patient’s father had noted that the patient tended to become aggressive while concerned with the shape of his jaw, which objectively appeared normal. He also was at risk of violence as a result of social contacts and changes of routine. He tended to violently break inanimate objects. He was aggressive toward his brothers and once had to be forcibly removed from his brother because he had attempted to strangle him. Apparently this occurred due to the patient’s frustration and inability to correctly place batteries in a tape recorder. The patient was also hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital following 20 physical attacks toward his girlfriend in the preceding day. He had been hitting her about two to three times daily on a regular basis. He stated that he would slap her face because he was preoccupied and bitter about his jaw and because she was vulnerable and weak and it made him feel powerful. He was described as having little understanding of other people’s emotions.
Some cases of AD may be associated not only with non-sexualized aggression but also with formal sexual psychopathology, such as compulsive masturbation, fetishistic sexuality potentially resulting in illicit sexual behavior (66,108–110). Fetishistic sexuality may be the outgrowth of the tendency for AD individuals to engage in repetitive, ritualized, restricted, and intense interests, tension reducing in nature and established after the onset of puberty during adolescence. Mawson and his colleagues reported the case of a 44- year-old male with AD, who physically attacked women, girls, and infants. He was also reported to have sexually idiosyncratic thoughts. Cooper and colleagues described the case of a 38- year-old male heterosexual transvestite with AD and a history of having been “charged with assaulting the daughter of a neighbor, which was followed in 1988 with two charges of assault and one charge of indecent assault on women”. He had also been engaged in episodes with women unfamiliar to him that he had encountered in the street during which he touched their breasts or buttocks (108, 1993). Kohn and his colleagues reported the case of a 16-year-old male who had physically assaulted others on several occasions. At age 14, he had been involved in three sexual assaults. During one of the assaults, he had grabbed, attempted to undress, and touched the breasts and genitals of a girl (109). Cases of autistic-spectrum disorders involving sexual psychopathology without violent behavior have also been described.
The origins of sexual psychopathology in autistic spectrum disorders may be due to a dearth of opportunity to learn socially adaptive sexuality available to affected individuals. It may also be that specific autistic characteristics directly lead to the development of less socialized, more pathologically aggressive forms of sexual behavior. In the case of JD, both pathways were synergistically involved in the development of his malignant sexual psychopathology."
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use sport as an outlet for my suppressed agression, where humans allow themselves to watch or participate in sport from the starting point of addiction to the energy of agression, competitiveness and the manifestation of survival.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify the existence of sport - which no longer exists as a physical expression for the individual, but exists for the human to express ourselves within the addiction to competition and 'beating others' which is linked to self value through 'winning.'
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a human to exist within the idea/concept that we are here to better ourselves, improve ourselves and evolve and therefore I use sport as an excuse and opportunity to evolve within my mind, which is the only place where evolution can truly exist where we are always finding ways of evolving consciousness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create rules, about what it means to be acceptable forms of agression and addiction to the energy of competing, where all human have agreed to not take self responsibility for the design of the energy addiction, but to rather find ways of expressing these energy addictions and to then call it hobbies, sports, religions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to integrate all my suppressed human emotions, feelings and energy addictions into acceptable forms of self expression - where as long as it is given a name, title or cause as to why we can express ourselves this way - all of society accepts each others titles for our addictions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design hobbies, sports and religions around amplifying the suppressed 'human tendencies' instead of self honestly looking into the design of these energy addictions and whether participating in these addictions through accepted forms of hobbies, sports and religions is truly supportive of us in the physical or whether it supports the addiction to energy - which then allows us to not take responsibility but instead label the addiction according to something aceptable - like 'sports, hobbies and religions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to join a religion where I may judge, hate, fear and condem as the addiction to these energies, without considering what I have done in blatantly allowing myself to express myself within these addiction to these emotions and feelings - without consideration of the actual direct implications of what I participate in.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that as I judged what I read about sexual sadist and serial killers - I did not bother to look inside myself to see that all of those words, actions, deeds, and desires already exist within me, except that I have categorized my addictions/patterns/habits into acceptable forms of expression - whereby all of society have already agreed to these forms of expression - so that everybody can get to do what the serial killer does, but in a way that is seen as acceptable and 'under control'
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to walk past a woman on the street and in my mind ripping her clothes of and having sex with her/groping her.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to then go onto the internet and find porn sites- which most humans have already agreed is acceptable as the brainwashing we have accepted through the starting point of capitalism - whereby we will justify the abuse of the physical - so that I may watch others rip of people's clothing and rape/abuse - which triggers and accesses my addiction to that image, which allows me in the safety of my home to masturbate to these fantasies - without reprise from society - because most in society are also doing this through the media forms available.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the serial killer who goes out and combines sexual addiction with aggression - while all the time I have split this same addiction into 'acceptable forms of expression' by watching sport from the starting point of competition and the expression/outlet of my anger/competition/envy towards others, while also having sexual desires of all kinds of particular ways that I then masturbate to as I surf the internet - where my addictions are justified through what we accept and allow on the internet.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the serial killer who abuses, abuses and kills people, while all the while humanity gets to split these actions/desires and real internal conversations/reactions into mind created energy realities in the form of television, movies, porn, websites, sports etc, where a long time ago it was agreed upon by humanity for us to find ways to express these 'urges' instead of taking responsibility for them - and the only time we will project blame for our own design patterns onto another as 'scapegoat' is in the form of a serial killer/criminal - whom we can say abused and murdered in a physical way - instead of keeping it just in an energy form as we do - and now we can condem this person to imprisonment or death - while the rest of humanity continue doing what the serial killer does, but under acceptable ways of expression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as I read the above statements to think - 'but it is not the same thing' - while not really first slowing down all the moments I decided to participate in the above mentioned actions - to really look at the moments I made the decisions to act on my addictions to these energies, where i 'decided' to go with the desires, and where I found acceptable ways of expressing my desires - where i now refuse to look back at the moment I made that decision and what the decision was based on.
Therefore if these scientists who write these papers on serial killers were to also use the same method of looking back and into the serial killer's mind at the moment he/she made the decision to act on an addiction/desire/driving force form within - and they were to slow down humanities patterns/addictions/habits and also look at the decision-factor - you would find the exact same thought process and energy addictive mind patterns - at the starting point of 'abusive behaviour'.