This blog is a continuation from:
Background info: if you have not been walking the Crimes Journey to Life blogs since the beginning - please read the following blog where I explain the how and why I walk this series as 'Crime's Journey to Life':
The Serial Killer Mind:
The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer: 'Mind-blindness'
My Self-Forgiveness will be based on the main points taken from the following article:
The Case of Jeffrey Dahmer: Sexual Serial Homicide from a Neuropsychiatric Developmental Perspective
Throughout the article, they refer to Jeffrey Dahmer as having 'Asperger’s Disorder'.
Definition of Asperger’s Disorder:
"Asperger's syndrome is a developmental disorder that affects a person's ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others. Children with Asperger's syndrome typically exhibit social awkwardness and an all-absorbing interest in specific topics.
Doctors group Asperger's syndrome with other conditions that are called autistic spectrum disorders or pervasive developmental disorders. These disorders all involve problems with social skills and communication. Asperger's syndrome is generally thought to be at the milder end of this spectrum."
"Theory of Mind Deficits in Asperger’s Disorder:
In 1978, primatologists Premack and Woodruff introduced the term “theory of mind” to refer to the ability to realistically assess the mental states of conspecifics as well as other species. The idea that human beings must successfully negotiate a realistic understanding of the intentions of their conspecifics as well as other creatures, is consistent with evolutionary theory, because sexually successful individuals must be able to assess the thoughts, intentions, and emotions not only of themselves, but also of potential mates and predators in order to maximize the chances of their genomic propagation. Since the publication of Premack and Woodruff’s seminal article, various researchers have uncovered substantial evidence indicating that the ability to estimate other people’s mental states or “mind reading”, as it has come to be known, is a universal human capacity. Mind reading can be more accurately viewed as the ability to estimate the mental life of others given previous experience and present social ecological contexts. Theory of Mind (ToM) capacities are likely to be under strict ontogenic control, and they become evident in young children by four years of age. Furthermore, Baron-Cohen and his colleagues as well as many other investigators have studied mind reading abilities in autistic children and discovered that many of them suffer from various types and degrees of ToM deficits. This abnormality has come to be known as “mindblindness”. ToM deficits appear to be present in schizophrenia and other forms of psychosis, although the degree of disability appears to be less than that encountered in severe autism.
Both clinical specialists and researchers in AD as well as family members of AD persons and AD individuals themselves consistently report that those with AD have noteworthy difficulties in assessing the mental states of others and understanding the social world around them. These deficits appear to be closely associated with intrinsic limitations in assessing the cognitive and the affective states of others as well as with an associated dearth (scarcity or lack of) of empathy.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to grow up believing that the world and experience of others, is separate from me, and even though as I become older I see, realize and understand that the suffering of others is directly connected to my life here on earth, I make the conscious decision to continue ignoring these facts, because it has become something that we simply do in society.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the backchat, inner conversations of 'well somebody has to do the hard work' and 'well if everybody has the same stuff, then we wont all get the chance to be really happy' to be my reason, as everybody else's reason, for continuing to allow the world systems to exist as they are, where I will turn a blind eye to suffering of my fellow earthly inhabitants, in favor of the possibility of a minority becoming rich and through this experiencing apparent 'happiness' at having a comfortable life, over the fear of not having.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give permission to the fear existent within this polarity manifested game, whereby i have chosen for myself and by myself without much convincing from others - that I too like playing this 'game with my life and the lives of others' of survival of the fittest - while completely not realizing that if I was in the position of being exploited and abused where I had no ability to speak up and choose differently - I would not be able to even have this philosophical inner conversation with myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have this inner conversation with myself where I debate whether I am willing to be the one walking in the shoes of the other people in the world systems who are being abused/exploited/deprives of a dignified life as Life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dishonor life, by turning this question of whether abuse is justified, into a inner moral debate, where I as the Elite who live a comfortable life - actually give myself the opportunity to debate these questions - simply because I can do so - and have at no point considered that there are people and beings in the world who do not even have the luxury of asking themselves 'would I be willing to walk in the shoes of another' - because they are fighting for survival, getting through from day to day in lives of pain, discomfort and fear - therefore they only focus on surviving and do not give themselves the luxury of inner debates over humnan morality.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the minute I allowed myself to become spiritualized or philosophized in how I approach Life - that was the day that I separated myself from the consequences that my existence on earth has on the lives of others and completely turned suffering into a game or right and wrong that I play in my mind - where I keep myself trapped in accepting the system as it is because I take the time to play the morality game in my mind going from 'feeling bad' about the abuse I see, and then justifying its existence, until i get to continue with my life through 'mindblindness'.
I commit myself, when as as I see myself turning a blind eye to the existence of this reality as it is, to stop, breathe, bring myself back here in my physical body, which is existing equal and one to this physical reality - where i remain self honest about what is really going on and how the problems are created.
I commit myself that if at any point a justification comes up within me to make me blind to the world around me, that i will always use the basic maths of 1+1 = 2, to get to the answers of how something was created, how to stop the existence of the problem and how I will have to change myself to no longer accept and allow the problem to exist, as myself, equal within the responsibility of how the problem was created.
therefore I commit myself to no longer accept and allow suffering and abuse, not just as an idea that exists as some humanitarian, philosopher or religious concept, but an actual living self movement, where I stop and change the suffering/consequences according to what is best for all, as the living changes that will have to take place for suffering to no longer exist.
First step in stopping the Economic abuse, that forces all beings on this planet into compromised lives: