This is a continuation from:
Please refer to Day 9: International Crime research - Bi-Polar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 2 for background information on Family Dynamics and Environmental factors as primary cause for Violent Behavior in people diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing family to become the breeding ground for dysfunctional humans.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing family to exist as the platform from which information is passed along from dysfunctional, dishonest humans into our children.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the family environment to contribute to the dysfunctional behaviors of children, without it being questioned and without parents receiving effective education and evaluation before and during the period of raising children – and that myself as a member of society has come to accept the dysfunctional human as natural and acceptable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the dysfunctional human to exists as a time line of influences based in DNA, environmental factors, ineffective education, ineffective examples as the current human and the contribution of the general mind fucks that mold our children into the adults we see today.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing parenting to exist based on Fear of survival, competition, greed etc. – in which we prepare our children to fight for survival in the system and with each other.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to raise children according to the current human values such as beauty, fame, jealousy, ignorance, blame, addictions, abuse etc.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame other parents for fucking up their children, without considering and realizing that unless I am teaching my child in all ways how to act within self responsibility and common sense as what is best for all – and I too force my child to develop its mind according to any form of illusions – then I am also responsible for the world as it is as I am shaping the generations to come and holding the past in place.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the family environment to exist as the place where I teach my children how to exist based on polarities of good and bad, where I take the child from being born into the physical and encourage the child to develop a mind system based on beliefs, backchat, emotions, feelings – until by the age of 4 or 6 the child is already existing purely as a pre-programmed system.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condition my children through reward and punishment to believe what I want them to believe and do what I want them to do, simply because this was done to me by my parents and simply because I exist in such fear of the world, that I enforce my fears on my children.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forgot that children can be a fresh start into and as life and instead of me preparing the world to support my child, I mold my child to become a personality that will survive in our current world system, regardless of the fact that I can see how abusive the world has become.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to teach children to attach values to this physical reality, even though I have seen from my own experience the abuse that exists in this world because of the values we have given ideas, beliefs and pictures, in which we honor the mind as energy, with no regard for the abuse that happens as each defends their self-interest.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to subject my child to my behaviors and pattern of backchat and dishonesty, without realizing that the child is busy copying my behavior.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing violence, abuse and dishonesty to exist in the family environment, and by doing so I am molding my child from a being born into the physical – to a copy of my behaviors, while I profess that I love my children.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing environmental factors to mold my child into depression, irritability, elated moods and expansiveness, as attempts by the child to either avoid pain, discomfort, punishment, disappointment or as an addiction to the energy system I trained them to become from young. This energy system I developed within my child by attaching energetic reactions to things, places, pictures and people and then training my child to react in similar ways. The child then gives the things, places, pictures and people a value according to how they experience themselves, and then learn to abuse all life in the name of judgment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my home and family environment to become a breeding ground where I teach my children about conflict because the child observes the parents in conflict over money and their inner battles.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the home environment to be the foundation from which the child learns the behaviors that are eventually diagnosed as Bipolar, while not seeing that the home environment, schools and the environments within the system I accept for my child is directly responsible for who and what my child becomes. Within this I also realize that my DNA was the starting point from which the child came into this life and that if I do not clear myself within who I am – and simply regard myself, my past memories that influence me and my living expression as suitable without really considering what this means - my child will grow up into a dysfunctional being trapped in layers of information from myself and that which I subject them to while in my environment and within society.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the word Love to teach the child how to manipulate others, through feelings and emotions, for their own self-interest.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate the word Love with family, in which I teach my child that if they love me they will do as I say and that for me to love them I have to manipulate them into becoming and being the perfect soldier within the system, to protect the family name and to not embarrass the family by doing anything that could be judged by others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate the word family with trust, in which I teach my child that they cannot trust themselves, because they have to trust the parent who is a living copy of their dysfunctional parents and to trust a god who supposedly placed them on this planet to allow and endure suffering without any solutions. Thus, I teach my child to trust abuse and suffering and to trust the family unconditionally, in which the child starts to accept the world system as it is and even starts participate in it willingly as a means of winning in life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use words and behaviors to manipulate the child into changing themselves to please the parents, whilst not realizing that everything I as the parent believe, think and feel is programmed into me through my parents, the media, myself as my fears and desires.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to teach my children that love is conditional and to only Love those things that bring them personal enjoyment, regardless of the evidence before us that this behavior which all currently practice is having a direct impact on the world, as countless beings are abused daily in the name of profit and personal enjoyment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to teach my children to seek pleasure in life while avoiding discomfort, which inevitably means that we create a system which is designed around seeking joy to avoid discomfort, regardless of the fact that this directly results in us creating a world where we argue and fight amongst ourselves as we seek enjoyment at the expense of others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have children regardless of the fact that I am unable to support the child within my environment or financially.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid taking responsibility for this planet, whilst adding to the population, not realizing that unless I change what is here now, my children will either end up suffering or end up being supported within the Capitalistic System which causes suffering for others.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the family is there to support each other to become the most effective, functional beings on this planet, instead of what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become now.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to support my family in realizing themselves as Life, but instead I have accepted myself and my family as subject to what has already been accepted about humans as human nature – thus opening the door to allow ourselves to repeat the past while evolving more and more into mind possessed humans.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to subject myself and my children to inner experience I feel I have no direction within, instead of walking within common sense application, equal and one to my child to no longer accept and allow inner experience to influence who I am here and who my child becomes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design a world where children and the experience of children, is subject to money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design a world where children become accustoms to having to stake their claim for attention and fame and through this defining themselves according to the mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design a world and a family system where my children have become accustomed to using depression as a means of manipulating themselves and the world, according to attaining their desires, based on what they see through the media, in comparison to others and where they have placed their self worth according to what others say and think.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the family environment as a teaching ground where I develop the child’s mind into that of a fully functional system, where the child no longer is able to fully express itself without is being locked into a societal value system according to which all function.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop the child’s mind to respond and react to certain stimuli – thus programming my child from the physical into a system, based on various factors such as fear, desire, jealousy, emotions, feelings, self ineptest, survival etc.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate children in such a way that eventually the child only functions according to elated moods to avoid the polarity opposite experience of sadness based of self judgment, taught to them through the adult as the adult attempts to mold the child through rules, values, culture and religion into ‘the perfect human’ as it is currently understood and lived.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design situations within which I place my children, which eventually due to its impact on the child, forces the child into behaviors to align themselves or avoid the point – which then get labeled Bipolar disorder or ADD or ADHD (and various other childhood behavioral problems).
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to observe why my child has a behavioral or mood disorder and the cause of it within SELF-HONESTY, and instead to describe and justify the reason as being ‘some scientific reason’ or ‘gods will’ or ‘an imbalance in the brain’ – instead of deconstructing the disorder/behavior – even as far back as the parental DNA time lines – to find the building blocks as events that have imprinted itself onto the child’s mind – causing the mind to program into itself the living behavioral manifestation of a ‘behavioral problem’. By doing this I am placing the responsibility here with myself as parent and within how I have not effectively cleared my DNA – so that the past stops repeating itself within my child and me.
For further Reading:
Day 18: Day 18: Dementia – The Rotten Child Syndrome
Day 19: Rotten Love
Day 21: Success and Reward
Day 43: Parenting Patterning Fear and Control
Day 46: TRUST ME!