This is a continuation from:
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-11-international-crime-research_15.html
Self-Forgiveness part 5
Bipolar Disorder and Depression
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression as a means of punishing myself when I perceive that I have done something wrong.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this pattern to develop from childhood, where I would go stand in a corner and look saddened by what I have done – which is how parents and teachers train children into depression as a means of self-punishment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing self punishment to exist in a world where all punishment and reward always exists around obtaining what we need within self interest and where we manage to obtain this through the reward system of money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression as a means of withdrawing from myself, when and as I feel that I am overwhelmed by my life or a particular situation in my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use depression as a means of withdrawing myself form other people and situations, due to fear.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to withdraw from situations due to fear, wherein I have not yet taken self-responsibility for myself in my world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression as a genetic trait – in which I have been told from young that my father had depression and therefore when I started experiencing depression, allowed myself to go into the experience, until it became a complete pattern, to which I added places, names and situations that would be the cause and trigger of depression – instead of realizing that I triggered the depression myself in each situation through the thoughts I allowed and through allowing myself to become the energetic pattern of depression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression to exist within my partners, due to me developing an inherent belief that I was no more than my past and no more than who I had become as depressed person.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression to exist as a polar opposite to happiness, which become a cycle that I lived as throughout my entire life – where ‘me’ as the being no longer existence, because after years of diligent practice – all I became and existed as -was this pattern of depression followed by me attempting to achieve ‘happiness’ after which I would spiral back to depression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in depression as a condition, which was prescribed through parents, teachers and doctors and by implication indicated a world and a beingness which we could not change and had to accept.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Bipolar Disorder to be a classification system according to which we categorize those who exists within the mind in states of being that are not functional and which reflect to us the dysfunctional nature of human beings we have come to accept as normal.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Depression as an experience where one gives up due to having no solutions to ones life problems, instead of finding solutions to the problems we face.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to give life to myself as a life worth living here on this planet, by standing up and for equality and oneness in all ways for all beings – to stop the inner battles of depression and Bipolar disorder – as a direct indicator of the nature we have become as victims to our own allowances and the evolution of the Mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression to exist in my world, where I would much rather accept the labeling of depression, then to look into why people experience depression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression as a title we give to experiences that we create – by giving power to our minds – instead of learning how to direct the mind, so that depression does not exist.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression to exist, which eventually manifests within the DNA of the being, which is then passed down from generation to generation as an acceptable form of mind possession.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become possessed by my mind through emotions and feelings, until I depress myself into a form less than human = de-human = demon.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to depress the beings with which I share this planet, by allowing an economic system which abuses all life as it has no regard for what is best for all – but instead only serves what is best for those with money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to depress the beings with which I share this planet, until nothing is left and then I blame others and hope for a god to save me, instead of realizing that the only way I will change what is here is by actually changing myself from depressed to life and by changing the world to support me as life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression, as a means for people to shut up and accept the current life we exist in.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression in which we suppress ourselves through the norms of society, culture and religion to fit into a picture of ourselves as the fear of humanity.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression as a teenager, where I accepted that the only way to avoid pain as the experience of the mind based on the illusion of pain, was to avoid the experience instead of transcending it, and to give it power by submitting myself further into a form of submission.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach certain words to the experience of depression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘become depressed’ if and when I hear these specific words, to which I have attached certain values, which protect my ego, through the avoidance system of depression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘become depressed’ if I see certain pictures before me, to which I have attached certain values, which are either in alignment or contradiction with my secret desires – after which I will use thinking, feelings and emotions to ‘become depressed’ and to fuel my depression with justifications from within the Mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘become depressed’ when I experience loss or bad luck or disappointment – which are all experiences carved by capitalists to ensure that I remain addicted to the pleasure of seeking enjoyment through obtaining goods.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design depression throughout the generations, where I forced beings into life situations that were not fully supportive simply to appease the go of the individual.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design depression due to generational conflict within beings, as I forced more and more beings to submit to the will of culture, society, religion, politics, sexuality, individuality, free will, capitalism, until we have reached this point where most experience some form of depression automatically as the memories of the cells ignite under stressful circumstances.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program depression into my DNA for the future generations each time I submit myself to self manipulation to please others and to remain trapped in a system of politics and capitalism, which I claim I don’t want to change because I have already accepted depression and victimization as human nature.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program depression into my DNA for the future generations, each time I play mind games with myself through backchat where I devaluate myself in the image and likeness of self deception.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program my DNA with Bipolar Disorder, thus ensuring that the future generations are also trapped in the same patterns, simply because I have accepted it so.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use energy within my body, to manipulate myself into moods.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself into moods, as I have accepted myself as less than self responsibility and self honesty within doing what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing chemical imbalances to exist within the brain, as a system of pre-design which inflicts onto the human a life subject to a design which neither the scientist or religious people are able to direct.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use abdicate self change to a god, while at the same time not questioning this god why he designed a mind that has depression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame a god for giving me depression, instead of realizing that all aspects of the human mind and human design is here for me to understand, unless I use money and control as an excuse to not investigate the physical and how the human is designed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the veil of deception which exist as science to exist as the apparent reason why we cannot fully support people with depression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing science to exist as the front from which capitalists keep people sick so that money is made from the medical industry.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing science to withhold research necessary for us to understand the design of the physical and for me to allow money to be the reason behind why information is withheld about the human physical body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worship science, while admittedly they are unable to fully understand the pre-programmed design of the human, to understand all cases of depression and to self honestly highlight how a being participates in depression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worship science as an authority on depression, while admitted scientist and psychologists do not fully understand how a person participates and experiences depression because they self honestly do not want to admit how the money system for example affects people and how human feelings, emotions and thoughts affect us.
More stories and material related to depression:
41 -aggression and depression
Being Fat or Skinny - That's The Question
Day 40:Mania and Depression
Day 48 -Walking Myself Out of Depression
Day 49 - Walking Myself out of Depression pt 2
Day 1: Stopping Depression - Part I
Life Review - Why I Accepted a Life ofEnergy Disorder
Self as Origin Taking Responsibility
No comments:
Post a Comment