Day 134: The Paranormal Series Part 4 - A Psychic’s Gate Keeper (part 1)

          Day 131: The Paranormal Series - Ghosts and Demons Part 1

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and.html

Day 132: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 2

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-132-paranormal-seriesghosts-and.html

Day 133: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 3 

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and_19.html

I will be starting this Blog Series, by walking through the ‘Journey’s into the Afterlife’ Interview Series – which follows  examples and explanations of what heaven use to exist as, the design thereof and the truth of why heaven existed in its multi-faceted nature. We will hear about guides, masters, gate keepers, one atom gods, higher selves etc – all giving their perspective on how and why they existed within the greater design of ‘the Afterlife’ and the Human ‘Soul Construct’. From there I will move onto the Series about Demons and walk through the interviews done by the Demons, to better understand the greater picture of what Demons did, what was not understood about demons and how demons relate to the human experience. From there I will take a look at the quantum mechanics of how paranormal events occur now and how the Human Mind as the Quantum Mind is designed and creates Paranormal-Mind experiences.

“We had to make sure the knowledge and information in the minds of human beings of what heaven is remains in tact – and that if we did bring a being to actually communicate, that the being communicate in line with the heaven existence and how it existed and that they would not distribute any information about the heaven existence, other than what the being had been instructed to say, or speak, or do. So if one have a look at the messages through psychics, loved ones and things like that, the messages would always only be in the context of the personal relationship that the being that had passed over had with the being that was still on this physical earth; there was never any knowledge and information extended about exactly where they were within the heaven existence or what they were doing in the heaven existence exactly… I mean it was really very easy to manipulate the knowledge and information that was being channelled or communicated through from the heaven existence to humans in this physical reality.”
                                                                           - Interview with:  a Psychic’s Gate Keeper

For the full context on which I base my self forgiveness please listen to the following interview:
Journeys into the Afterlife - A Psychic's Gate-Keeper

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have to protect ‘heaven’

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question why heaven would require protecting, as this indicates to me a problem between the reality of what is ‘out there’ as the truth and who beings really are and what is behind the ‘gates of heaven’ that require protection.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise or question that if heaven has be be separated from the truth or from reality – then this is not heaven, because heaven in essence should be the place where all beings are able to come to rest and if they are not in a position to fit in with heaven as a place of rest, then I would ask the question, why heaven separates itself from those they are unable to assist, and then why this is still called heaven if it exists in separation from the truth of who beings are when they die.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question the existence of heaven if as noted above, heaven is unable to assist all to be a part of heaven, thus removing itself from the needs of the afterlife, thus indicating that the real purpose of heaven is not about the ‘everlasting rest’ of ourselves when we cross over and thus;

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the story behind what heaven is, and this is not just from what comes through this information source as the Portal, there are many references in many religious and spiritual books that refer to this separation between for example heaven and the demons/ghosts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the gate keeper that ‘keeps beings in line with what heaven is about’ and to not allow them to sway from the prescribed information about what really goes on in heaven.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be this gate keeper that enforces a lie about heaven, upon earth, and in doing so not really addressing the hidden problems about what heaven really is while also allowing the continued separation between the ‘heavenly beings’ and those who are unable to find eternal rest, as heaven indicates its purpose to be.

I forgive myself therefore for accepting and allowing the same problem to exist on earth in essence, where the homeless, the criminals, the insane are all rejected, pushed aside and separated from society, without truly creating safe spaces for those who are for example elderly, or disabled or insane, but instead leave them to rot and be abused in government run facilities by staff that are underpaid and not monitored and for criminals and homeless people to not be understood as a product of our money system and societal value systems around rich vs. poor etc.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the facilitator of a persons pre-programmed life designs and to never in my role question why this pre programming would be necessary – and to never question what is it about existence and human life that require pre-designs?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become depressed at the idea of dying

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto a  belief that if I die I will not experience a life that I always desired to live

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear death, because death would imply the end of me as the mind and myself as a personality, which I have defined as who I am as the living expression of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear death, as I have become accustomed to existing inside a personality structure that lives for and as thinking and surviving.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid the fear of death, by participating more in entertainment and energy and thinking – so that through my activity and keeping busy as the mind – I am able to forget that my mind will one day no longer exist, and through this cycle I am obviously feeding my own belief in who I am as this mind system that requires to ‘live’ and thus I keep this cycle of fearing its end going, by perpetually choosing the avoidance and entertainment of myself to forget, instead of realizing myself here in my body and utilising the life in this body to live to the fullest and to use the opportunity to change the fear systems for all people based on lack and survival to that of fully living, so that we may get to a point of satisfaction with our one life, which will allow all to stop fearing life and stop fearing death as the endless cycles of struggling within our minds and physical.

Day 133: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 3

This is a follow up from:

Day 131: The Paranormal Series - Ghosts and Demons Part 1

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and.html

Day 132: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 2

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-132-paranormal-seriesghosts-and.html

 

“Now, this is where I know most ghost enthusiasts will kick up a stink and complain to me that many ghost hunters will actually attempt to assist the ‘ghost/demon’ to ‘go to the light’ so to speak. But you know what? This is like saying to the room full of children – ‘its ok, don't be scared, go through that door over there, I have read in an old book written and rewritten by humans who are known for fabricating stories and inventing ‘knowledge’ to control people or to drive/impulse/manipulate the human for profit - that what is behind that door is ‘nice’. The fact is many ghost hauntings and possession cases re-occur and that the exorcist and demon hunters don't ACTUALLY know ‘what is behind the door’ (the white light) but are trusting sources from books – where they themselves have never actually been able to look behind the door …. So would you do that to a child? So for example when I had my ‘aha’ moment where I experienced shock and shame at my antics – what I realized was that firstly ‘why would a God allow beings who at the moment of a traumatic/confusing/angry death clinging to their bodies or homes or objects –why would such a God punish them by saying ‘well you wanted to stay there so weh…’”

 
If you have ever watched ‘ghost hunting/paranormal investigator’ type documentaries, then you will know what I am talking about. As I said before I have watched many documentaries/ghost movies and ghost hunter videos on youtube etc and a while back in preparation for this series, I went onto Youtube and watched some ghost hunter type documentaries to have a fresh view on how paranormal investigations are being done as of late.

1987 Paranormal Investigator

2013 - Paranormal Investigators or Rock Band?

The first thing that I noticed was the difference between ghost documentaries now and what they were like about 10 years ago. The emphasis back then was filming and documenting paranormal activity. Obviously I am not referring to the intentional creation and spreading of falsified ‘paranormal phenomena’ on the internet, but simply stating that the difference between what was filmed and presented many years ago to what is presented now is that back in the day the emphasis was on the paranormal. Now the emphasis is very much about the ego of the paranormal investigators and the entertainment value. Let me walk you through an example. The first ghost hunting series that I attempted to watch, was filmed by a group of 4/5 young men, each one looked like he had spent allot of time at the gym and spent plenty of time before filming gelling and prepping their hairstyles.


Then they opened their mouths and this is where my jaw dropped, because it become like a scene from a rugby player’s locker room, all of them preparing their ego’s for some big attack that is about to take place between themselves and this disembodies soul. As they started walking through the haunted location, the presenters themselves appeared to go into more and more of a possessed state as they started shouting challenges to the ghost/demons who occupied the building and each one’s threat to the ghosts was out done by the next.

For example they would shout things like ‘common, move something dammit!, is this all you’ve got, I’m not scared of you, show me what you’ve got!’ Now the demon/ghosts probably took one look at these Johnny Bravo looking characters and either left of thoroughly would have enjoyed the egotistical male energy that was oozing off these lads. So by the end of their tour through this haunted location, the 'Johnny Bravos’ were thoroughly disappointed by the no-show of the ghosts after they shouted so many threats and promises. If demons and ghosts were to roam those halls, I bet you a million dollars that they were not as inactive as the ‘hunters’ thought they were and would have been sapping their energy and probably encouraging the ego’s to extremes.

So this left me with the distinct impression, that these lads had absolutely no interest in the fate of these ‘souls’ but instead were there to chase things, and show off their ‘fearlessness and skill’s. Even though I had reached my limit with all the ranting and spearing, I decided to carry on and watch another episode. Again these lads with their well gelled hair and matching ghost hunter t-shirts set forth through the next haunted location, where it did not take long for the lad in front to start yelling threats and obscenities as the ‘demon/ghost that they suspected haunted this location. He even went as far as saying to the ghost/demon ‘common we know you hurt the people who use to live here… you think you are so brave, why don't you attack one of us and show us how big and brave you really think you are.’ Obviously at this point I am wondering what performance these lads are going to produce, because obviously if they are pushing for the ghosts to perform, either one of them is going to be attacked or they will have to fake an attack to keep the viewers interested.

I continued watching to see what would transpire, and true as bob a few minutes later one of the strong body builder looking Johnny Bravo’s start screaming like a girl clutching his face. He claims that ‘something smacked him in the face’ which is obviously what they had been waiting for, however what got me giggling was ‘how he reacted’ – screaming and cussing and carrying on as if he was upset by what this demon had done. I am thinking, ‘but wait a minute you were threating and pleading with this ghost/demon just a  few minutes ago: ‘why don't you attack one of us and show us how big and brave you really think you are’ and now that the demon'/ghost has done exactly that you complain and act as if you were completely innocent in the whole thing?

So that is just one example of the strange logic of the ghost hunter. I mean getting back to my example in my previous blog, of us watching a room full of hungry, lost, distraught children and getting a kick out of watching them run around in circles crying; This example of the Johnny Bravo ghost hunters is taking that example to the next level where you would actually taunt the lost, frightened children and make them cry even more. I mean we see examples of animal abuse on the internet/television where people will for example catch wild animals like bears and tigers and then put them in cages and poke them with sticks while the hunters drink beers and film themselves – this is the exact same thing.

I continued to randomly pick ghost investigative videos on Youtube and continued to be perplexed at the obvious level of self interest and the tactics used by the investigators to ‘up’ the level of entertainment value. Each ghost hunting team had its own technique – because unfortunately even for those who were genuinely interesting in documenting paranormal activity – their ratings would be influenced by whether the viewers lost interest or not. For some this did not matter, as they posted their videos regardless of how many views they got and during the investigations very little if anything would ever happen. This to me was more accurate in terms of the real time discovery and documentation of paranormal activity. For some there was action every 10 minutes, which obviously reeked of fakery. Unfortunately as with our taste in movies and music, one thing that stands out the most about the entertainment industry is definitely not the story or the music talent or the lyrics, it has become about the viewer/user, wanting a specific experience and the music/film industry has to cater for the human experience. That is why the movies we are seeing for the last 7/8 years are all the exact same story lines and the focus is always on the same factors such as sex, relationship dynamics, love, money, deception, etc. Same with the music industry  - as Myley Cyrus said herself after being interviewed about her rather strange performance a while back  - she admits that she can make crap music and crap music videos because her fans will always be there.

Getting back to the point why I am doing this blog series, I realized that I was participating in the industry that traps animals in cages and pokes at them with sticks for entertainment. At Desteni, we have been researching the existence of ghosts and the paranormal and I suggest if you are interested in this subject matter – to please follow this link to our demonology website where you will find the video and transcriptions of our series done on Desteni and Demons. From this you will be able to get a better understanding of the approach that I will be taking with this blog series. I am not supporting the existence of ghosts, I will however be walking a series of self understanding and self forgiveness on how demons/ghosts use to exist and how myself and other ‘paranormal enthusiasts’ continue through the mind to create paranormal experiences.

Next I will be walking each of the interviews that we did on Eqafe where it is explained how ghosts use to exist and how people experience paranormal events now – thus I will be exploring my own ‘quantum mind mechanics of paranormal events.’

Day 132: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 2

This blog is a follow up from:
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and.html

“My fascination started after my father’s death – where I realized that I could actually sense and at times see an outline of him in my home. This I initially connected to a simple fascination with my father and the questions that were left unanswered after he died. Therefore I was not really sure if I was really seeing/sensing him or if my underlying fears and desires were the cause of my experiences. I felt lost without him and I also felt guilty for him dying – because I connected his heart attack to him having to much stress which caused him to have the heart attack. This burden I carried with me for many years until I discovered Desteni and was supported to let go of the guilt, the fear, the dependency , the inherent desire to be with my father and to slowly learn to give myself back to me and live my life…”

What opened up for me though from about the age of 17 onwards was a peculiar ability to continue to sense and see spirits. Therefore from being able to sense and at times see my father – I developed an ability to also detect other ghosts and demonic beings. This peaked my interest in the paranormal even more and it was then that I started dabbling with Wiccanism and then Paganism and the Ouija Board – where I had an insatiable desire to communicate not only with my farther but with ‘dead people’ in general. Years later, I could explain that my fascination with ‘the dead’ largely had something to do with the fact that I really did not enjoy being around the living lol. I found conversations with the living to be very tiring and this I realized was due to the fact that I had depression due to how I was not dealing with my fathers death and the strained relationship I had with him before he died. So all in all – my 'fear of being without a father’, which is an inherent programmed design in all people and my guilt at my father dying drove me to wanting to in a way punish myself for my fathers depression that he had all of his adult life, which ended in him making a decision to provide for his family in spite of his painful childhood – after which he died from worrying about money to take care of his family.

All of this weighed so heavily on my shoulder and I delved deeper and deeper into adult depression – which caused me to have an uncanny/strange kind of character  - where I would be the odd, gothic looking girl in the back – who would cringe at the sight of humans at a party – and look forward to the time that I could go home to talk on the ouija board with ghosts lol. So my fascination with the supernatural around the age of 17 led me to reading ample books – which of course when my grandmother found out, caused her to have a fit and confront my mother about these un-godly satanic books that she was allowing her daughter to bring into the house. Funnily enough, my mother was so sick of her mothers tyrannical rants that she stood up to her and said ‘man leave her alone, she can read what she wants’.

After this I met a Wiccan at a party and soon after that we not only became friends but I joined him in his religion which kind of transmuted from Wicca to Paganism as we explored more and more ‘the darker side of things’. Anyway, I speak about my Wicca/Paganism/Ouija board adventures enough in all of the articles and videos referred to above – so I will skip to the next part.

Around the age of 24 I started studying Kinesiology because my second passion became about alternative therapies and assisting people. In my spare time i decided to study parapsychology – because this was what i really wanted to do but obviously career wise, in South Africa this does not give one an option for a paying career, so I simply did it because it was my ‘passion’. I joined an online course which was based with a paranormal Research group in Manchester, England. I only studied the first year of Parapsychology after which I was invited to come and live with the people who I am currently working and living with. More information on Desteni and the Portal above.

So you might be asking ‘why are you doing a blog series on the paranormal if your blog is about ‘Crime’s Journey to Life’. You see an interesting point that I touched on in my blog, which I referred to above, called: Ghost hunting – is where I realized one day that I was essentially using the distress of another being, caught on this earthly plane due to whichever distressful situation they experienced during death – to entertain myself with. It was the same as having a room full of hungry, distraught, sick, frightened, disorientated children and watching their distress and lostness to experience a thrill. Therefore what I am doing to myself and in essence to another being, even if it is a ‘ghost’ is using their distress and fear and confusion and vulnerability for my entertainment  and from my perspective this is saying about me that I abuse others vulnerabilities and obviously will allow the same to be done to me for the entertainment of others – and this is a Crime against Life. Just like people who justify that animal abuse is ok because they ‘beLIEve’ animals don't have ‘souls’ thus don't deserve equal life rights or that the animal kingdom is there to ‘serve man;’ – the same applies here – we are as ‘ghost hunters’ admitting that we believe or ‘know’ that ghosts exist as the disembodied essence or ‘soul’ (and the apparent value we give to a thing called a ‘soul’") of human beings –and yet at the drop of hat we will use their situation for our own entertainment value. Therefore you will note that as soon as a human or other life form on this plant is in a vulnerable position where it cannot defend itself – then within Capitalism as the ‘need for humans to survive’ or within the drive for human self-interest (as in this case for entertainment) we will find excuses to abuse/exploit that life form.

Now, this is where I know most ghost enthusiasts will kick up a stink and complain to me that many ghost hunters will actually attempt to assist the ‘ghost/demon’ to ‘go to the light’ so to speak. But you know what? This is like saying to the room full of children – ‘its ok, don't be scared, go through that door over there, I have read in an old book written and rewritten by humans who are known for fabricating stories and inventing ‘knowledge’ to control people or to drive/impulse/manipulate the human for profit - that what is behind that door is ‘nice’. The fact is many ghost hauntings and possession cases re-occur and that the exorcist and demon hunters don't ACTUALLY know ‘what is behind the door’ (the white light) but are trusting sources from books – where they themselves have never actually been able to look behind the door …. So would you do that to a child? So for example when I had my ‘aha’ moment where I experienced shock and shame at my antics – what I realized was that firstly ‘why would a God allow beings who at the moment of a traumatic/confusing/angry death clinging to their bodies or homes or objects –why would such a God punish them by saying ‘well you wanted to stay there so weh…’

In the next blog I  will expand on this point with another example.

Day 131: The Paranormal Series - Ghosts and Demons Part 1

For those who have watched or read my experience with Demon possession, with know that I have a long history with exploring the unexplained, ghosts/demons, the paranormal and I have dabbled with Wiccanism and Paganism. If you have not read/viewed my history – you are able to find my documentation here:

• 2008 I was a wiccan - Andrea 1 and My experience with Wiccanism and Magic

• For the rest of the series: Andrea's Journey with Demons

• What are Demons - Part 1

My process from there to understanding myself, my possession and demons:

 

1. Interviews from the Farm 22: Talking Andrea and Portal Authentication with Jack

2. http://forum.desteni.org/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=20

3. http://andrearossouw1.blogspot.com/2013/01/changing-my-thoughts-will-change-me.html

4. http://andrearossouw1.blogspot.com/2012/02/self-forgiveness-and-writing.html

5. Ghost hunting

6. Demons, Demon Possession and Entities part 1

7. Demons, Demon Possession and Entities part 2

8. Demons, Demon Possession and Entities part 3

9. Demons, Demon Possession and Entities part 4

More information on the ‘Portal’ and the History of ‘Desteni’

 

1. The History of Desteni Session 1

2. The History of Desteni Session 2 - Discovering Heaven

3. About the Demonology Website

4. Demon Possession in Modern Times

 

So the reason why I wanted to walk this blog series is as follow: I have always been a great fan of ghost hunting/paranormal investigation stories/movies/documentaries. Like any ghost hunting enthusiast – I would experience an absolute thrill each time I could sit and watch a documentary on youtube or watch some scary movie about ghost hunters exploring/investigating haunted location – or some movie about demonic possession - where my heart would beat a little bit faster as I would wait in anticipation for some proof of life beyond death or to get a glimpse into the activities of some invisible force. I had an insatiable thirst to see or experience ghostly phenomena and I was absolutely fascinated by the intricacies of the mere existence of a thing like a ghost – ‘who are they, what are they experiencing and what are they capable of?’ Now these are the questions we ask ourselves, as ghost hunting enthusiasts, but what we are really experiencing is thrill seeking and the desire to understand more about life after death. For myself, I not only viewed the documentary/scene/video that I was watching from a thrill seeking perspective, but I always wanted to understand who or what do we become when we cross over – for us to become demons/ghosts bound to a person, location or object.

My fascination started after my father’s death – where I realized that I could actually sense and at times see an outline of him in my home. This I initially connected to a simple fascination with my father and the questions that were left unanswered after he died. Therefore I was not really sure if I was really seeing/sensing him or if my underlying fears and desires were the cause of my experiences. I felt lost without him and I also felt guilty for him dying – because I connected his heart attack to him having to much stress which caused him to have the heart attack. This burden I carried with me for many years until I discovered Desteni and was supported to let go of the guilt, the fear, the dependency , the inherent desire to be with my father and to slowly learn to give myself back to me and live my life.

To be continued…