This is a continuation from:
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-37-international-crime-research.html
Please refer to: Day 24: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 8 for background information, on how and why I will be walking the characters of Criminals/Offenders.
To recap: the following blog is written from the perspective of familiarizing myself one and equal with the mind, character and personality of someone who watches/consumes child pornography. By walking equal to the mind of the user, I am able to draw from it, the contributing factors from the initial thought to the decision that is made to watch child pornography and how the mind is further fueled through backchat and behaviors, until in time, the characteristic is defined and directs the being into action, through an accumulation of memories, thoughts and experiences. What follows is specific self-forgiveness on the characteristics within the write-up.
This blog continues with the character design perspective of Society and Family in relation to Child Pornography.
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In this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is natural for me as parent to allow a child to accept that one can use your environment to deal with mind possessions and emotional states, which one will develop into its ultimate form into adulthood – and that it is consequently alright then – to project ones anger and frustration onto what is here, which are usually the life forms that cannot defend themselves.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a parent to encourage the development of the ego and emotional states like rage and jealousy and comparison, by encouraging children for example to play sports and to turn that into the massive abuse of the physical that it has become today – where it becomes about the exercising of mind possession and no longer in anyway whatsoever exists as a form of physical expression, equal and one to what the physical is within its own movement and structural design.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide my sexual agendas and secret desire far away in my mind, where I can use them within fantasizing and masturbation – while denying that I have these secret desires – therefore manifesting a separate compartment in the mind where secrets are hidden – which through my own guilt of participation – I will judge others who do the same – while not realizing that the mind as I have allowed it exists the same for all – and that if I don’t bother taking responsibility for my thoughts – then a person like a pedophile is not going to bother either.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself when I react in shock to what pedophiles do in their mind, to create an energetic charge through the acceptance within myself of ignoring secrets instead of directing them, as I have found I have done within my own mind. This energetic charge I programmed into the physical – to ‘come up’ in moments where I judge others acting out their fantasies – where the charge will bring up the programmed thoughts, backchats, and reactions into physical responses wherein I will deny, judge, condemn, attack etc – all to not have to face my own inner realities but to focus my attention on aligning others to my morality and ideas.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to generate energy through these secret fantasies within the mind due to the hidden nature of them, through which I react sexually – allowing myself in the end to accept my own sexuality as a manifestation of hidden suppressed desires – but will judge this in another person – not realizing that the sex and masturbation system as it exist within me – where if at any given time I give permission to information movements that trigger sexual reactions – are in fact the same sexual fantasy systems that exist in all abusers.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as society to label these secret sexual fantasies according to acceptance, where in society the characters that abuse sexuality through cheating, hidden desires, pornography, infidelity, nymphomania, promiscuity etc – are accepted because all god fearing people direct their sexuality according to these categories and sub-categories.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to label other sexual preferences as unacceptable in society because if it happens to my child, then it is unacceptable – but if we can create dividing lines between the harm that is really existent in reality for all to see and the secret fantasies most people participate in – then as a society we accept that we will all continue branding some actions/behaviors/fantasies as taboo – while others, even though frowned upon – are actually an acceptable part of society – so much so that wives and woman will become the very sexual symbols in society that fuel the exact system in men that direct them into sexual abuse through acting on fantasies first in the mind and then through action.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept my role within these sexual accepted forms of self abuse, in which I have decided as woman a long time ago that I will rather swim than sink, meaning if I also want to get married and be seen as attractive – whereby I will bag a man that can provide for me and provide stable DNA for my character offspring – then I too even though I can see how harmful it is if I stop for a moment and become self honest – but I will rather adjust myself through pretty things and appearances – to also follow the norm and not upset the applecart – because in the end my mind’s survival is after all also on the line here – and I cannot handle being told I am ugly and never catch a man – thus continuing my character offspring (offspring).
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condemn people who abuse children or woman sexually – while never considering how society creates condemnation within specific categories, while allowing other deeds or actions such as war, famine, starvation, corruption, discrimination, poverty, minimum wages, withholding of basic human rights as food, water, housing, abuse, etc.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this categorization of abuse to exist whereby the politicians and governments have already predetermined through religion and morality which human actions/deeds/characteristics are acceptable for the survival of the rich and powerful – while condemning other actions/characteristics –and as society my focus is then led to believing I should accept some forms of abuse while condemning others. Why is it for example that child abuse and child abusers are classified as the ‘lowest of scum’, while politicians and governments who for example made the laws according to capitalism that you cannot eat if you do not have a piece of paper called money – are called heroes and ‘doing the right thing?
Therefore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be distracted by these crimes such as child abuse and the emotional reactions people have to them – so that I do not have to really look at the crimes against life that happen every day, every second that support me to be able to eat and have my basic needs.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play the character in this world of emotional reactive to child pornography while not standing up for all life and insisting on a change in leadership which will stop ALL abuse, not just the ones I have been pre-programmed to react to emotionally.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stand up for ALL LIFE, equally within Oneness and Equality – seeing, realizing and understanding for myself that all abuse is happening at the same time, because we are all allowing characters of the mind to direct who we are and what we become. Therefore I realize that even though there are different dimensions, as I have illustrated above to the child porn issue be it from a religious aspect, family aspect, political aspect or societal aspect = what is clear to me is that if I loose focus on what is going on in the world as the abuse and atrocities that exist so that I may live a comfortable life – while crying over child abuse – then it is not a blessing I am bestowing upon the planet calling myself a caring, companionate, good human being. I am in fact part of the problem, but realize as I have indicated through walking the mind-timelines in all the previous blogs – that the answer is not out there in religion spirituality, philosophy etc – it is and begins with me and within me – me addressing the characters and the beginning of the designing of characters within me, due to the nature of myself as self-interest. Therefore to not address the basic character designs of the human pre-programmed tendencies that exist in ALL humans – means that we will not be able to sort out the more ‘complex’ character designs such as the child abuser.
What I have shown for example in all previous blogs, is how one can walk an end result backwards in time – one can identify the major points, write them down, and apply self forgiveness within pecificity until one stop each and every character point which glues together with the other points to in the end create a ‘character’. So, in the global aspect of child abuse, specifically child pornography – realize that I am in no way ‘downplaying’ the reality of child abuse or how lives are affected by it. What I am showing in the basic self forgiveness done within this blog on points that we as society who ‘observe and judge these character manifestations from ‘afar’ – is that our reaction/response to what is happening in the world has not been equal and one to the reality of what is really going on. If this were so – then the billions of beings with voting rights, would by now have realized how we can change the world just by no longer voting for the same bulshit political parties. If we insist on a new economic system that honors all Life instead of how we can prosper within capitalism – and we ALL do this –then things will have to change. If we no longer accept and allow addictions within ourselves for example – and become self-honest, self responsible human beings – then we will see things changing.
So – to sit and watch – while not seeing reality but only reacting emotionally to one or two forms of abuse – is yet again a character design. To continue accepting the same inner realities that are the same in design as that of an abuser – is a character design. To continue supporting the world systems, that are not self honest and are motivated by greed and the empowerment of a few over others – is a character design. To claim one is not doing this while you for yourself are able to use basic math’s to see what all of society is doing – is a character designs. In the end we call this ‘the joys of being human’ – the choice to not see, realize, understand and act in what is best for all – is apparently a right for ones life time as these abuses are ‘not ones fault’ and is ‘someone else’s fault’ and does not exist in you so it is not your responsibility. The purpose of this blog, as I walk self-forgiveness, is as a mentioned, to show how one is able to see the equality and oneness of all humans within how we all design characters – and how characters from sexual addiction to watching child pornography – exists within all as a system design as the Mind equally existent within all.
Another perspective as a character of the ‘judgmental, powerless human’ – is to observe – next time we judge an abuser – lets first see if we can judge a child pornographer for not for example ‘knowing and understanding ‘ that it is ‘wrong’ to abuse children and for not doing ‘everything in his/her power to stop themselves to not abuse… while all the while we as humanity realize the immense suffering done onto Life on this planet, simply so that we can live as the Elite with food in our bellies and a car in the driveway. Why is it that no human says ‘if my comfortability’ and ‘individuality’ means the suffering and acceptance of abuse of millions of other beings – then I do not accept and allow my role as the character within it all. I change ALL abuse – not just the ones I have been programmed to react emotionally to. Therefore all abuse requires our attention. Some you will be directly aware of – as I mentioned due to how we are mind controlled and programmed to respond only to certain abusive situations – while funnily enough, when you talk to people about certain other forms of abuse – they will fight and argue that the abuse is justified or doesn’t really exist or is gods pan for humanity.
LOL.
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