Showing posts with label guides. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guides. Show all posts

Friday, November 14, 2014

Day 172: The Paranormal Series part 33 - Demons vs. Angels part 20

This blog is a continuation from:




"when I would ask them about why 'they' allowed this person to come into my life, they would answer that - and here things get even funnier - that it was because of my specific role in the 'design of heaven'. One day I am again angry and frustrated and hoping that somehow my guides would help me to change things by telling me what to do or by miraculously being able to change my reality from some greater 'scheme of things'. But again the guides tell me that my suffering up to this point had been a very specific part of what was to come in my spiritual training and that now was the right time for me to be told what this special 'spiritual path' was, as they could see that I had dedicated myself to my spiritual life and was at peace one could say with the fact that I would never really fit into the 'world system'."

So, with the boyfriend things carried on. I had introduced him to my spirituality and he decided for the most part to participate in Wicca as well, and obviously this created a great 'hope' in me, a positive feeling that perhaps things would change. Perhaps the guides would be able to intervene and assist him to sort out this dark side of himself- this madness.

Time went by and nothing changed. As I mentioned in previously blogs the guides mentioned to me one day that they had been preparing me for the beings that would be arriving to take over my spiritual training. So on this particular day that they opened up this point to me, they explained to me that there existed a hierarchy of spirits in the heavenly existence between God and the humans. By God what they meant ofcourse was not a big guy in the sky with a beard but more the life force which was responsible for and created everything. They explained that this Life Force or as some would call it 'God' created actual beings that would represent him in a form that could work with and communicate with humans.

Each form for example represented an aspect of 'God' and each form was a combination you could say between a human and God - therefore the God force or life force was placed into a beingness similar to that of a human spirit. These were called 'Gods'. Then underneath them so to speak you had your guides and masters and such beings who existed in the heavenly existence. Guides for example were human beings who had crossed over and after many years of dedication to the work of 'Heaven' and 'God' these souls would become guides to help humans.

These guides came from various different religions, so for example they explained that they were Wiccan guides who specifically worked with Wiccans who summoned them and asked them for support. Therefore each guide would be placed with a human according to where they were in their spiritual 'path' so to speak or according to their religious choosing. In the end - as they explained it - the guides knew that all of it eventually came together to create one point as Life, but that different religions were created based on how people perceived different aspects of Life and that the guides were there to work with a being according to how they were developing specific aspects of themselves - which would then be based on whichever religion the person chose to work with. For the humans who were more receptive to 'everything' they would obviously draw guides who would assist and support them in expanding their knowledge. But it was not the purpose of the guides to push or influence a human before they were ready because the whole point of 'spiritual development' was that the human was responsible for developing ourselves.
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Friday, November 7, 2014

Day 170: The Paranormal Series part 31 - Demons vs. Angels part 18

This blog is a continuation from:



"The trigger as I mentioned could be anything. We could be talking about the weather and I would say how I enjoyed cooler days because then I could go walking in nature and he would all of a sudden change in his body posture and facial expression to 'something else'  - almost as if he was breathing in a demon - and then he would reply 'yes I bet you love going for walks in nature with your male friends because then you can have the privacy to f*ck them' and BAM this would then simply escalate into accusations, death threats, insults and physical abuse. His favourite was to threaten to kill myself, my fiends or family. Sometimes he would get on the phone to a friend of his whom he claimed worked as a bouncer in a night club and on the side he worked for money laundering companies who would have people physically beaten up for not paying their debts back. So often, he would in the middle of one of these arguments get on the phone and call this guy and 'ask' him to come and 'take care of a problem for him' and this would then mean hurting one of my fiends or family. Obviously, because I did not know what either him or his 'friend' were really capable of, at first I would try and laugh it off, but the one day he called the guy and after ending the call said 'ok he's on his way' and after a while I started panicking that this could be for real and started pleading with him to stop."


Continuing from the section above:

I eventually tried different approaches to calming him down in these situations. I obviously in the beginning started with anger, telling him to stop and pointing out that what he was doing was abusive. This obviously did not work, so from there I would try pleading and begging and all kinds of negotiations and tactics, to see if I could link in or 'tap' into some part of his mind that would be appeased by a specific tonality or approach. Where from trying to 'stand up' to the abuse, I would go to just trying to tell him what he wanted to hear.

The one evening, when he was in one of his better moods, he explained to me that the reason for his jealousy and anger was because his previous girlfriend who he had been with for 6 years and nearly got engaged to cheated on him for almost the entire time, and with one of his best friends. So I tried to explain how 'loyal' I am and that it is not in my nature to cheat, but obviously this did not work. At this stage I had started introducing him to my spirituality and he started joining me on the Ouija Board, to communicate with my guides. I asked these guides if they could help him and they said that they could assist up to a point, but really that he had to let go of the past, the mistrust and the anger and live. They also said that his 'beingness' had become corrupted so to speak and that is why he would find himself now 'being taken over' in essence by this hatred and jealousy as it existed almost like a dark force inside of him - just like an entity. What would usually happen is that after D would abuse me, he would remain in this strange trance like state, like a demon with his lips almost always pulled slightly back like a demonic snarl and his shoulders would be scrunched forward. Like I said in my previous blog - it would be like something would come into or over him. Then after the abuse - like a few hours later he would snap out of it all of a sudden and would most often not even remember being abusive towards me or would only remember parts of it and then of course be very apologetic and want to 'make it up to me' with niceness and gifts and compliments They suggested that for him to 'find himself' - his innocence, which would allow him to clear the slate, he could try and connect with his 'inner child' lol. Anyway, this basically meant that the guides would work 'through me' and show me how to assist him in seeing his 'inner child' within himself and to speak the child back into him from a suppressed state, due to this entity manifestation within him. So we did this and he spoke to the child and a little voice came through his mouth which obviously was very intriguing and it spoke about how it was hiding because D had made the decision to allow the anger and possession to consume him. D then told the child that he was ready to let go and embrace the child again and D did some form of visualisation (as per my guides suggestion) of how to embrace and connect again with ones inner child.


Obviously this did not work either because after a few days he was back to his usual self. So the reason why I am sharing these smaller stories is to show how far along I went into and got consumed with spirituality to try and solve my problems. I am therefore walking the time line of events, or at least those that pop up for me in my memories, so that in my sharing I am obviously firstly for myself seeing and reminding myself of how change has to always be self and not a 'band-aid' method that works with good feelings to avoid negative feelings. That in actuality - all those years as I stuck to the really odd-ball situations, choices and people I chose to live with and for - this was really who I had become and the answer was always all along to change myself to no longer accept myself as for example 'abused' or vulnerable' or 'in need of guidance' or 'spiritual' etc...
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Friday, October 3, 2014

Day 159: The Paranormal Series part 20 - Demons vs. Angels part 7

This blog is a continuation from:



"At the same time 'the boyfriend' made it possible for me to study Kinesiology. This was another factor that caused me to not leave him. I simply kept reminding myself that if I left him, I would have to give up my studies. Therefore - as I mentioned in my previous 2 blogs -I developed a 'new age' light worker type of personality, focusing on helping others, as I more and more related to a life of misery, suppression and compromise. On the other hand I developed a 'darker side (Fear is the path to the dark side…fear leads to anger…anger leads to hate…hate leads to suffering - Yoda) - a coping mechanism to not really have to collapse in a heap, where I could vent and be angry and hate."

At the same time what had started developing in me was an increased fascination with 'the dead'. As I mentioned in the video series and book that I did on my 'demon possession experience' this all started around the age of 19. I went to a friends house for his birthday party. There I met another friend of his, whom was a Wiccan. I found this very interesting of course, due to the fact that I was always reading about the paranormal and alternative types of beliefs and happening in the world. So, I spent quite a while asking him questions about how his belief worked and of course when he mentioned that he was into communicating with his guides and other spirits on the Ouija board, that really peaked my interest. He invited me to come round to his house sometime and visit him, so that I could see how he plays on the Ouija Board and then he could also explain more to me about his spirituality. We didn’t want to continue talking to much about it, as we could see some people around the table looked a bit uncomfortable.

I decided to take him up on his offer and I contacted him a few days later. At this stage of my life I was unemployed, frustrated and did not know what I would do with my life. I had studied horsemanship after school, but could not find a job working with horses that I would enjoy and as I mentioned in my previous blog I could not find a permanent 'system' job due to affirmative action. Therefore only occasionally would I find a temping job that would last a week to a month, but generally I sat at home and entertained myself with my books. Therefore meeting this interesting character, with his interesting ways, gave me something new to focus on and to divert my attention from my own life.

The first day I visited him he showed me how he used the Ouija board. Looking back now and knowing what I know now about demons and what use to be 'ghosts' I have to giggle - but we will get to 'why' later on. When we got onto the Ouija board he introduced me to his 'spirit guides' - Isis, Thor, Diana etc, whom were all Wiccan guides/deities, as he explained it to me. Lol they explained to me that I was to a 'natural witch' and that it was no coincidence that I met this new friend of mine. This was very exiting for both J (we shall call him) and myself. I felt wanted and appreciated. They told me more about magic and about themselves and a part of me was slightly anxious, because reading about 'ghosts' is one thing but actually communicating with them was completely new to me - therefore I did not really fully know what to make of this new experience. But, I would definitely say that I was leaning towards a bit of excitement at this new prospect of this entire new realm that I was now being given insight into.

The next day J phoned me and asked me if I enjoyed my visit. I told him that I did and that I have been thinking about everything that he had told me about his spirituality and the guides and that I really enjoyed 'how it all sounded' - one could say that it 'resonated' with me. I explained that the principles of Wicca made sense to me. He told me that after he dropped me at home he went back onto the Ouija board and asked the spirit guides what they thought of me and so forth, and they told him that if I wanted to join him and them, that they would be my guides as well. After he explained this to me I felt this particular energy rise up into my chest - which one could in a nut shell call 'belonging', fulfilment, 'acceptance' and dare I say 'empowerment'. Probably here for the first time in my life I was not afraid, I was not subject to a persons anger, or their sadness such as I grew up with around my father whom had adult depression.

I felt like I belonged and that I was being given an opportunity to be someone and to empower myself. This is after all what all human beings strive for - self empowerment, self acceptance and to do and be that which one enjoys. So of course I was very much drawn to this new possibility and of course it also meant that I could escape my life as it was at that stage. You have to understand, and I am sure you are able to relate if you look back at your 'teens' - all of us grow up thinking, hoping and believing that we will 'go' somewhere in life, make something of ourselves, maybe even marry 'the love of our lives' and maybe just maybe end up having enough money to live comfortable lives of joy and bliss! I wanted this as much as any other young person who had just left school - therefore, having spent the last year walking the streets looking for a job, being humiliated, worrying about my future and having a relationship with my mother (with whom I lived) which was deteriorating day by day as she pushed more for me to find a work and me becoming more and more withdrawn and agitated - this obviously, as you can imagine did not paint a very pretty picture. I was being faced with a life that was obviously heading very much into the opposite direction of what everyone hopes and believes they will attain once they leave school and enter into 'adulthood'...
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Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Day 134: The Paranormal Series Part 4 - A Psychic’s Gate Keeper (part 1)

          Day 131: The Paranormal Series - Ghosts and Demons Part 1
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and.html
Day 132: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 2
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-132-paranormal-seriesghosts-and.html
Day 133: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 3 
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and_19.html

I will be starting this Blog Series, by walking through the ‘Journey’s into the Afterlife’ Interview Series – which follows  examples and explanations of what heaven use to exist as, the design thereof and the truth of why heaven existed in its multi-faceted nature. We will hear about guides, masters, gate keepers, one atom gods, higher selves etc – all giving their perspective on how and why they existed within the greater design of ‘the Afterlife’ and the Human ‘Soul Construct’. From there I will move onto the Series about Demons and walk through the interviews done by the Demons, to better understand the greater picture of what Demons did, what was not understood about demons and how demons relate to the human experience. From there I will take a look at the quantum mechanics of how paranormal events occur now and how the Human Mind as the Quantum Mind is designed and creates Paranormal-Mind experiences.

“We had to make sure the knowledge and information in the minds of human beings of what heaven is remains in tact – and that if we did bring a being to actually communicate, that the being communicate in line with the heaven existence and how it existed and that they would not distribute any information about the heaven existence, other than what the being had been instructed to say, or speak, or do. So if one have a look at the messages through psychics, loved ones and things like that, the messages would always only be in the context of the personal relationship that the being that had passed over had with the being that was still on this physical earth; there was never any knowledge and information extended about exactly where they were within the heaven existence or what they were doing in the heaven existence exactly… I mean it was really very easy to manipulate the knowledge and information that was being channelled or communicated through from the heaven existence to humans in this physical reality.”
                                                                           - Interview with:  a Psychic’s Gate Keeper

For the full context on which I base my self forgiveness please listen to the following interview:
Journeys into the Afterlife - A Psychic's Gate-Keeper

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have to protect ‘heaven’

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question why heaven would require protecting, as this indicates to me a problem between the reality of what is ‘out there’ as the truth and who beings really are and what is behind the ‘gates of heaven’ that require protection.

heavenI forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise or question that if heaven has be be separated from the truth or from reality – then this is not heaven, because heaven in essence should be the place where all beings are able to come to rest and if they are not in a position to fit in with heaven as a place of rest, then I would ask the question, why heaven separates itself from those they are unable to assist, and then why this is still called heaven if it exists in separation from the truth of who beings are when they die.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question the existence of heaven if as noted above, heaven is unable to assist all to be a part of heaven, thus removing itself from the needs of the afterlife, thus indicating that the real purpose of heaven is not about the ‘everlasting rest’ of ourselves when we cross over and thus;

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the story behind what heaven is, and this is not just from what comes through this information source as the Portal, there are many references in many religious and spiritual books that refer to this separation between for example heaven and the demons/ghosts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the gate keeper that ‘keeps beings in line with what heaven is about’ and to not allow them to sway from the prescribed information about what really goes on in heaven.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be this gate keeper that enforces a lie about heaven, upon earth, and in doing so not really addressing the hidden problems about what heaven really is while also allowing the continued separation between the ‘heavenly beings’ and those who are unable to find eternal rest, as heaven indicates its purpose to be.

I forgive myself therefore for accepting and allowing the same problem to exist on earth in essence, where the homeless, the criminals, the insane are all rejected, pushed aside and separated from society, without truly creating safe spaces for those who are for example elderly, or disabled or insane, but instead leave them to rot and be abused in government run facilities by staff that are underpaid and not monitored and for criminals and homeless people to not be understood as a product of our money system and societal value systems around rich vs. poor etc.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the facilitator of a persons pre-programmed life designs and to never in my role question why this pre programming would be necessary – and to never question what is it about existence and human life that require pre-designs?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become depressed at the idea of dying

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto a  belief that if I die I will not experience a life that I always desired to live

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear death, because death would imply the end of me as the mind and myself as a personality, which I have defined as who I am as the living expression of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear death, as I have become accustomed to existing inside a personality structure that lives for and as thinking and surviving.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid the fear of death, by participating more in entertainment and energy and thinking – so that through my activity and keeping busy as the mind – I am able to forget that my mind will one day no longer exist, and through this cycle I am obviously feeding my own belief in who I am as this mind system that requires to ‘live’ and thus I keep this cycle of fearing its end going, by perpetually choosing the avoidance and entertainment of myself to forget, instead of realizing myself here in my body and utilising the life in this body to live to the fullest and to use the opportunity to change the fear systems for all people based on lack and survival to that of fully living, so that we may get to a point of satisfaction with our one life, which will allow all to stop fearing life and stop fearing death as the endless cycles of struggling within our minds and physical.
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