Day 147: Living by the principle of what is best for all part 1

Day 143: From Criminal to Principled Living

Day 144: Realising and Living my utmost potential part 1

Day 145: Realising and Living my utmost potential part 2

Now I walk the second Principle in the ‘From Criminal to Principled Living Series’:

2. Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

For many who would read this principle, it might sound too ‘out there’, too ‘far fetched’, like something that only a person into spirituality or enlightenment would write. One’s Mind tends to look at that entire statement and either hit a blank, or react in anxiety at the enormity of it, or simply disregard the Principle as something that is rather ‘impossible’ for a ‘mere mortal to achieve’. Let me walk you through what I realized about this Principle a few years ago:

When I started exploring my own mind, it entailed looking at my own pre-designs, meaning who I had become due to genetics as well as the pre-programmed mind sets, personalities, and general ‘make-up’ of who I was as the baseline of my mind’s existence. Each human has this and pre-programming obviously means ‘pre’ – therefore indicating ones design that is hardwired into you from the time of conception until birth. It is those traits we inherit from the Conscious outline of the Human Psyche together with the traits that we inherent from our parents and the generations before them.

Therefore one’s ‘pre-programming’ is already in many ways that which makes it very difficult for any person to change, the moment we realize we are faced with a pattern that is not supporting us to be the best we can be as a ‘human’. For example my pre-programming consisted of for example: being a black sheep, being depressed, giving up on life, sabotaging myself and heading into a life of despair and maybe even suicide. I was predesigned to end up being an ADHD Emo/Chrystal child, into black arts and magic, who would either turn by gifts like intuition and the ability to see the dead into a ‘positive’ life path such as becoming a light worker and choosing to help others as a ‘worker of good’ instead of harming – OR I would have ended up working in a low wage job, with black Emo hairstyle, and a pentagram hidden under my shirt. I suspect that – and this I could do as I walked by life if I had NOT reached this point of change – I see that in the end I probably, if I had gone down the darker personality pre-programmed designs, would have started using drugs or even committed suicide.

At some stage in my life, many years ago, I dabbled with both pre-programmed designs at the same time. I was working as a Alternative Healer to find ways to support people and animals, while at the same time being a Pagan, who practised magic and dabbled with demons on the Ouija Board. Some years I dabbled more into the occult, the ‘darker’ side of me and other years I would lean more towards the ‘white light worker in me’. Talk about being in conflict over ones pre-programmed designs. At all times, however no matter which direction I leant to – I was always in conflict over my thoughts, my emotions. I was, as most humans are, in conflict about myself and who I was within the world and then who i wanted to be in the world but could not be, due to money and pre-programmed limitations such as inherent depression. At times I fought the world system, where the ‘darker’ character in me would come out and fight and cuss and blame ‘society’ and religion and my parents etc, blaming everyone for my locked in feeling where I wanted to just be left alone to do my own thing, but was always being contained by either a lack of money or societies rules. Then I would give into the perceived pressure, and realize that to survive in this world I had to work and to survive, so within this I ‘chose’ to follow an interest which was healing and the art of understanding the metaphysics of the human mind and body and how energy worked. So I studied Kinesiology, Reiki and Energy healing, but all the while I felt constantly overwhelmed by depression – something that I inherited from my father, but which also existed as part of my pre-programmed design to give up on myself and exist in conflict my entire life…

to be continued

Day 88: International Crime Research: Mass Murderers Part 2: Mass murder by individuals

This blog is a continuation from:

Day 87: International Crime Research: Mass Murderers Part 1


Taken from Wikipedia:

Mass murderers may fall into any of a number of categories, including killers of family, of coworkers, of students, and of random strangers. Their motives for murder vary. A notable motivation for mass murder is revenge, but many other motivations are possible, including the need for attention or fame.Examples of mass murderers include James Eagan Holmes, Adam Lanza, William Unek, Campo Elías Delgado, Jeff Weise, Woo Bum-kon, Martin Bryant, Ahmed Ibragimov, Baruch Goldstein, Robert Bales, Omar Thornton, Nidal Malik Hasan and Charles Whitman.

Revenge: Thought (picture)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto a picture of what I believe is the wrong doing of another, to me or something I value,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing when and after holding onto this picture as a memory of what I perceive was done to me by another, to use the picture as a way of feeding existing fears, angers and resentments I have developed throughout my life, in relation to similar points.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this picture as an animated thought to 'pop' into my mind from time to time, after which I will start negotiating inner reactions towards this memory as picture - whereby I am now slowly starting to create an energetic charge in relation to this picture

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge this picture energetically (negatively) due to pre-programmed likes and dislikes, which are now creating conflict within me as I battle between my ego, which wants me to win, to succeed, to be right over others and therefore this internal battle is created from the vantage point of how do I win in the future over others using the past, as memories from which I will plot my next step.

Backchat/Inner conversations:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to now start having internal conversations with myself based on this picture that pops into my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the picture, to now create scenarios based on the what ifs, the ways I should have or could have dealt with the past, which is basically me not looking at the fear reaction I experiences in relation to the past memory, but instead now conjuring up ways of fighting in the future to be the winner - therefore becoming the one that harms others in self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to CONvince myself in my mind that others are at fault, not allowing myself to realize that the actual experience within me is one of an emotion reaction of doubt, fear, annoyance, embarrassment.

Myyy PRECIOUSSS!!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use inner conversations to plan how to in the future act in a way that will allow me to win over the other person, instead of realizing that my emotional reaction is fear based, the fear of losing face, of looking bad and of losing out in life - wherein I am not willing to realize that the war/fight/stance I plan in my head to be spiteful or get back at another - is actually only as a result of my fear towards what I perceive others are doing or are able to do 'to' me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this inner dialogue to become 'the how' I deal with people and situations, not realising that I am now more and more distancing myself from this actual reality, from the conversations required between myself and others to practically find solutions, instead of rash, final actions and harsh words where I 'deal the final blow' as reaction - to 'be the winner'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to now create internal conversations around the idea of getting revenge on another, in my beLIEve that this will correct the past and allow me to 'feel better about what happened, without me considering the practical implications of such an act, in that it only serves to exacerbate the emotion/feeling energy systems, and has no practical purpose for this reality - as it only creates further cycles of anger and revenge.

Day 76: International Crime Research: The Psychology of Crimes Against Life: Heuristics Part 2

This blog is a continuation from: 

Day 74: International Crime Research: The Psychology of Crimes Against Life: Heuristics Part 1

 In the previous blog,  I walked the Thought dimension on the Representativeness Heuristic. Next I walk the Imagination and Internal Conversations/Backchat/Voices in the Head Dimensions.

Imagination Dimension - Definition: "In this Dimension one’s Mind will wander off in imagining doing/seeing/creating all sorts of different things/experiences – it’s essentially the dimension/domain within the Personality that the Personality will use to ‘motivate’ one’s decision from Reality into and as the Mind."
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/character-dimensions-introduction-day.html

Imagination Dimension: Seeing myself wearing cool clothes, having a cool, intelectual demeanor and therefore attracting the type of friends that make me feel good about myself as when I am with them I feel cool and pleased with myself and who I have become.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a separate reality within my mind, within which i may create this scenarios and fake realities, which are separate from my actual reality I exist within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create this separate reality by placing into it layers and layers of desires, comparisons to other people, conflicts, emotions, feelings, hopes and secret wants - to within this get to live out these hidden desires/wants/needs - so that I do not have to be self honest about what lies underneath these wants/needs/desires - which are always based ion not accepting self for who and want aself is, but through time to 'give into' peer and societal pressure, through which I manipulate myself into believing that I am not good enough and need to be something more or something different -after which society/others will accept me, which means I can accept myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to completely de-value and invalidate myself, by moving away from myself as one and equal with this physical body and myself as part of the physical reality - by running away from what I am facing as what I am allowing my situation to become - by rather giving into the situation and 'becoming something else by first preparing the point within my mind, where through imagination I am changing me into what I believe with please others, so that from there I may already possess myself into this energy experience of 'being cool' - so that from there I will mask my outer reality with this mental possession energy experience of 'coolness'.

I commit myself to, as and when I am faced with any picture movement, as imagination playing out, to stop participating in the scenario in my mind, whereby I will stop the existence of imagination, as I align myself to my physical and what is required for me by me to exist within and support my physical body.


Internal Conversations/Backchat/Voices in the Head  - Description: "This is where one would have conversations with oneself as a Personality in the Mind. Thus, Internal Conversations/Backchats would come up/manifest as words, sentences, short statements that can vary in length/intensity."
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/character-dimensions-introduction-day.html

Internal Conversations/Backchat/Voices in the Head: 'I am going to give myself a total make-over and wear the stuff that famous hollywood people wear. I am sure if I do this then I will be recognized by others as being cool."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create internal conversations through which I support myself into this illusionary belief world of who I am as a picture and as energy.


I commit myself to stop participating in talking to myself through internal conversations, whereby I go around in circles around an issues which is always based on attempting to win or attempting to convince myself of the validity of the reality within my mind, instead of immediately looking at a point and using common sense practicality to observe what would be the best outcome or solution within that situation and within this I commit myself to stop the energy-mind relationship which exists as a survival mechanism of the mind, whereby I have become separated from myself as a physical being, into an illusionary energy being that exists only inside the Mind, and which exists to survive according to its energy needs, regardless of the abuse that we allow in this reality due to us chasing the mind-energy experience, which will overlook the consequences to the physical, to have its energy addicted experience.

Art by: Damian Ladesma

Day 24: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 8

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-23-international-crime-research.html


Deconstruction of the Personality/Character of the Criminal.


In the next section, I will focus my self-forgiveness on the conscious ‘thought-processes’ i.e. backchat that a person follows from the point of becoming aware of an initial reaction towards for example imagery of children and how reactions coupled with thoughts, leads the person to the act by ‘watching child pornography.


What one will observe within how the mind functions, from the moment we have an initial thought, to the point where we act on our thoughts – is that there exists a line of information consisting of thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, reactions etc. – until one gets to the final decision to act upon what one believes to be a single decision in ‘the moment’. Here one is able to look into the mind and follow the time line back from an action or thought (such as watching child pornography) to its origin and how one from the original thought participated in fueling further thoughts, pictures, feelings, emotions, memories and physical behaviors to get to the decision to the act on ones decision.


In my previous blogs I applied self-forgiveness around the scientific research and ‘facts’ around child pornography and Bipolar Disorder. Now I will write out the backchat design of the perpetrator/offender and from there apply self-forgiveness accordingly. The ‘backchat design’ which becomes the ‘character of the individual consists of all accumulated thoughts, which over time become the being as the physical movement and behavior.


The perpetrator/offender exists though as one dimension, one character within the major character of ‘child pornography’ as it exists as a ‘character’ of the world. Therefore if the world exists as it currently does as a conglomeration of ‘characters’ – called humans – then child pornography is an example of one characteristic of our current world. Therefore the Child pornographer is a ‘character’ within the world characteristic called ‘child pornography’. The child, its family, the reaction of society to the reality of child pornography, the police, the politicians, criminologists, psychologists and law enforcement – all exist as characters in the world problem of ‘child pornography’. Each ‘character’ responds in his or her way depending on the role they have come to accept themselves to be as and this is how we have all come to accept ourselves and everything that surrounds us – as characters playing in the game we call life.


Therefore my main focus is to show that all experiences in this world are based on humans playing characters determined by the script within the mind. If we stepped out of the role of character for a moment and looked at what was going on around us – we would be shocked and horrified that we have allowed ourselves to be mere characters in this play called life, instead of standing up for what is best for all.


One could ask yourself the question – why am I saying that we are merely playing characters and not standing and applying ourselves as life? Well – the fact that abuse and other crimes against life happen each and every day in the smallest and largest of forms in our families, societies, religions, politics, entertainment, capitalism, relationships, etc. – shows us that we are obviously not standing as life in the physical – because if we were life we would be and live what is best for all as life – and not sit by idly watching as life is abused on this planet.


So - that raises the question – if the human can sit by idly, continually accepting society and the world systems to function the way it does and not realize our responsibility to change the world – then where are we? We are tied into survival as the mind as characters, in which we have come to believe ourselves as real, however if one trace your life back to childhood – you will see that you have systematically been programmed by your parents, peers, educators, religion, politicians etc. into characters that are called human – but what are we really? We exist to survive according to the rules of the system, through which we split ourselves into millions of different characters to survive in society, the money system, relationships and the family system.


One can trace your life back and record second by second how our choices were always made for us, by pre set rules and those who had control and power over us. We then grow up accepting that the way the world functions is normal and we become the characters necessary to survive in the world –so that we too can become the best we can be – however the best we can be is according to the predetermined, predesigned characters – that were designed by other characters who want to control and direct for the purpose of ‘my life’ and ‘what I want’ and ‘my happiness’. So – we are all creating ourselves into better, bigger, brighter characters to outshine ourselves in a system design, created by those who have gone before us – as they designed the system within which they had to survive according to the rules set by those surviving and fighting before them…. Quite a fuck up we have created. And this character game we call ‘Life’. So - it is not just a matter of observing the criminal/offender and their 'character designs - but to alos observe ourselves as society to see who and what have we become in the face of Abuse.


In my next blog I start by looking at the different character designs of ‘producer of child pornography’ and ‘consumer/distributor of child pornographer’ –and by tracing the backchat/thought design of these perpetrators, I am allowing myself to take self responsibility for the components that come together to eventually lead to the mind of a child pornographer. By taking self responsibility for all parts of the mind of the child pornographer – I am standing One and Equal to to the design as myself, defusing it as myself within the self responsibility that I take and of course seeing where I am reacting to any thoughts and pictures that exist within the child pornographer as I walk the time line of the mind of the child pornographer.


Why do I walk the time line of the mind of the child pornographer? So that the pattern is fully revealed to me, in which no stone is left unturned as a behavior that in time if suppressed through fear or denial could mutate or project itself energetically into a ‘sexual addiction character’, due to my participation in the same thoughts, without understanding of how these addictions are designed within the mind. In walking the path of the criminal I am forgiving myself and deleting the character within myself – in whatever dimension it may exist, so that at no stage I allow these ‘characters’ that abuse life to ‘surface’ within me and become me. By doing this, we as the current generation and the bodies that will bring forth the future generations will no longer create and exist as ‘characters’ supporting abuse in this world, but to learn what it means to Life fully here in the Physical.

For more information on the Design of the 'Character':

Day 78: Stepping out of character

Day 79: Stepping out of character with LOVED ONES

Day 13: International Crime Research - Bi-Polar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 6

This is a continuation from:



http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-11-international-crime-research_15.html

Self-Forgiveness part 5

Bipolar Disorder and Depression

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use depression as a state of being when I am angry at a situation or myself, as a means of manipulation.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression as a means of punishing myself when I perceive that I have done something wrong.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this pattern to develop from childhood, where I would go stand in a corner and look saddened by what I have done – which is how parents and teachers train children into depression as a means of self-punishment.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing self punishment to exist in a world where all punishment and reward always exists around obtaining what we need within self interest and where we manage to obtain this through the reward system of money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression as a means of withdrawing from myself, when and as I feel that I am overwhelmed by my life or a particular situation in my life.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use depression as a means of withdrawing myself form other people and situations, due to fear.




I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to withdraw from situations due to fear, wherein I have not yet taken self-responsibility for myself in my world.




I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression as a genetic trait – in which I have been told from young that my father had depression and therefore when I started experiencing depression, allowed myself to go into the experience, until it became a complete pattern, to which I added places, names and situations that would be the cause and trigger of depression – instead of realizing that I triggered the depression myself in each situation through the thoughts I allowed and through allowing myself to become the energetic pattern of depression.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression to exist within my partners, due to me developing an inherent belief that I was no more than my past and no more than who I had become as depressed person.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression to exist as a polar opposite to happiness, which become a cycle that I lived as throughout my entire life – where ‘me’ as the being no longer existence, because after years of diligent practice – all I became and existed as -was this pattern of depression followed by me attempting to achieve ‘happiness’ after which I would spiral back to depression.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in depression as a condition, which was prescribed through parents, teachers and doctors and by implication indicated a world and a beingness which we could not change and had to accept.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Bipolar Disorder to be a classification system according to which we categorize those who exists within the mind in states of being that are not functional and which reflect to us the dysfunctional nature of human beings we have come to accept as normal.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Depression as an experience where one gives up due to having no solutions to ones life problems, instead of finding solutions to the problems we face.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to give life to myself as a life worth living here on this planet, by standing up and for equality and oneness in all ways for all beings – to stop the inner battles of depression and Bipolar disorder – as a direct indicator of the nature we have become as victims to our own allowances and the evolution of the Mind.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression to exist in my world, where I would much rather accept the labeling of depression, then to look into why people experience depression.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression as a title we give to experiences that we create – by giving power to our minds – instead of learning how to direct the mind, so that depression does not exist.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression to exist, which eventually manifests within the DNA of the being, which is then passed down from generation to generation as an acceptable form of mind possession.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become possessed by my mind through emotions and feelings, until I depress myself into a form less than human = de-human = demon.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to depress the beings with which I share this planet, by allowing an economic system which abuses all life as it has no regard for what is best for all – but instead only serves what is best for those with money.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to depress the beings with which I share this planet, until nothing is left and then I blame others and hope for a god to save me, instead of realizing that the only way I will change what is here is by actually changing myself from depressed to life and by changing the world to support me as life.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression, as a means for people to shut up and accept the current life we exist in.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression in which we suppress ourselves through the norms of society, culture and religion to fit into a picture of ourselves as the fear of humanity.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression as a teenager, where I accepted that the only way to avoid pain as the experience of the mind based on the illusion of pain, was to avoid the experience instead of transcending it, and to give it power by submitting myself further into a form of submission.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach certain words to the experience of depression.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘become depressed’ if and when I hear these specific words, to which I have attached certain values, which protect my ego, through the avoidance system of depression.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘become depressed’ if I see certain pictures before me, to which I have attached certain values, which are either in alignment or contradiction with my secret desires – after which I will use thinking, feelings and emotions to ‘become depressed’ and to fuel my depression with justifications from within the Mind.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘become depressed’ when I experience loss or bad luck or disappointment – which are all experiences carved by capitalists to ensure that I remain addicted to the pleasure of seeking enjoyment through obtaining goods.




I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design depression throughout the generations, where I forced beings into life situations that were not fully supportive simply to appease the go of the individual.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design depression due to generational conflict within beings, as I forced more and more beings to submit to the will of culture, society, religion, politics, sexuality, individuality, free will, capitalism, until we have reached this point where most experience some form of depression automatically as the memories of the cells ignite under stressful circumstances.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program depression into my DNA for the future generations each time I submit myself to self manipulation to please others and to remain trapped in a system of politics and capitalism, which I claim I don’t want to change because I have already accepted depression and victimization as human nature.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program depression into my DNA for the future generations, each time I play mind games with myself through backchat where I devaluate myself in the image and likeness of self deception.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program my DNA with Bipolar Disorder, thus ensuring that the future generations are also trapped in the same patterns, simply because I have accepted it so.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use energy within my body, to manipulate myself into moods.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself into moods, as I have accepted myself as less than self responsibility and self honesty within doing what is best for all.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing chemical imbalances to exist within the brain, as a system of pre-design which inflicts onto the human a life subject to a design which neither the scientist or religious people are able to direct.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use abdicate self change to a god, while at the same time not questioning this god why he designed a mind that has depression.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame a god for giving me depression, instead of realizing that all aspects of the human mind and human design is here for me to understand, unless I use money and control as an excuse to not investigate the physical and how the human is designed.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the veil of deception which exist as science to exist as the apparent reason why we cannot fully support people with depression.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing science to exist as the front from which capitalists keep people sick so that money is made from the medical industry.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing science to withhold research necessary for us to understand the design of the physical and for me to allow money to be the reason behind why information is withheld about the human physical body.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worship science, while admittedly they are unable to fully understand the pre-programmed design of the human, to understand all cases of depression and to self honestly highlight how a being participates in depression.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worship science as an authority on depression, while admitted scientist and psychologists do not fully understand how a person participates and experiences depression because they self honestly do not want to admit how the money system for example affects people and how human feelings, emotions and thoughts affect us.

More stories and material related to depression:

41 -aggression and depression


Being Fat or Skinny - That's The Question


Day 40:Mania and Depression


Day 48 -Walking Myself Out of Depression


Day 49 - Walking Myself out of Depression pt 2


Day 1: Stopping Depression - Part I


Life Review - Why I Accepted a Life ofEnergy Disorder


Self as Origin Taking Responsibility

Day 12: International Crime Research – Bipolar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 5

This is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-11-international-crime-research_13.html

Self-Forgiveness part 4:

Bipolar Disorder and Hyperactivity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing backchat thoughts around excitement as a trigger point, through which I access and highten the energy within myself, to allow myself for a moment to experience greater levels of energy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use hyper-activity as a means to encourage myself to move myself into action, to complete a task based around fear of survival – instead of moving myself without fears as backchat directing my every step.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the energy within myself to compound around procrastination, which then comes to a point days or weeks later where the compounded energy around guilt and regret manifests as the energy of hyper-activity, after which I crash back into the old pattern of procrastination, not caring and laziness.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Hyperactivity as the original design to begin within children where we use energy to hype the child into a state of hyperactivity by pushing them through trigger words linked to likes versus dislikes and fear – to become exited and hyperactive, instead of teaching our children to live practically in the physical, moving oneself here as the breath, treating all situations and places and people as equal, not valuing one situation or face more than another.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the adult to develop this pattern of hyperactivity within children by exiting them through words, pictures and behaviorisms and through this teaching the child to attach certain values to certain things in our world, which teaches the child that it is ok to ignore, disregard or abuse other things/people, because it does not give the same energetic feeling.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the above pattern to develop in our children, which has developed the consumer-child, as they learn to immediately attach values to everything they come across and to react energetically within judgment to people and things – while they consume the energy they experience from participating in consumerism – eventually requiring more and more to experience more energy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the above pattern to exist in our children as we turn all things on this planet into consumer products for the energy experience we all desire as ‘heightened energy or states of hyper-activity – through which we have learnt to completely disregard what we have done and become and to place everything only according to brackets of energy consumption within ourselves, instead of its equal and one value as life.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing children to become addicted to energy through which they then become hyperactive, as the ‘chemical substance’ that is used to control the consumer market into greater levels of addiction.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program the physical from childhood into chemical reactions, designed around pleasing others in an attempt to appease my mind, which from childhood was taught that in order for me to accept myself, others have to accept me – therefore within myself I developed Bipolar Disorder as I rush and push myself through backchat as I worry if ‘others like me.’



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing children and adults to be brainwashed that food is good for you if it is sold in the shops and advertised on tv, with no investigation of the real effects that food sources have on the physical and how it directly compounds within the beings to eventually rewrite the beings into a chemically induced system that responds to words and pictures linked to the energy rush experience – thus making it easier for corporations to manipulate people through images and words linked to the energy experiences – previous programmed into the being from childhood.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of ‘hyperactivity’ within me as a state into which I possess myself when I try and manipulate myself into feeling ‘good’ about doing something, and to avoid the negatively associated feeling with what I am doing.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing scientists to avoid the real issues behind why adults and children become hyperactive, and instead labeling the person, describing methods to deal with the symptoms and medication – while accumulating a nation of energy addicted beings, who will abuse all life on this planet, as we are currently doing and have always done for self interest and greed.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not directly see what is happening to our children as they go through experiences of hyperactivity and instead of labeling it as ‘normal childhood phases’ to actually investigate the source and origin of the child’s behavior due to energy addictions and food, to find solutions to what we are doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage hyperactivity in children through encouraging such energetic and sugar induced behavior, because I believe that hyperactivity is actually me encouraging and allowing my child to ‘live fully and express themselves’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I believe that to encourage my child to express themselves fully, regardless of which behaviors they are copying or acting out and what the real design is behind how the child is behaving – allows me to feel more alive if I see a child running around and laughing, playing, expressing – which means that even if the child’s behavior goes into hyperactivity I still feel that the child is the manifestation of Life, which I have somehow lost and am now living through the child.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to diminish within myself and within my expression, due to me believing that adults must express themselves a certain way – thus forcing life as a fake behavior of movements, and sounds and ideas into my children, who then become addicted to energy as I watch in appreciation of what they are apparently living ‘for me’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I believe that children are apparently free and without worry – which means that children can get away with any form of expression, regardless of the fact that most children these days are developing ADD and ADHD and other behavioral problems – which is directly showing me that how I am designing the expression of the child – has become systematized and in the end manifests in some children as dysfunctions – which then later manifests as adults who abuse themselves and life as they live according to the designs of what the parents were really thinking when they educated the child and encouraged the child in its expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I use memories of my past experiences where I either attached good values to my experiences or negative values – either way I am filtering through to my child, my own fears, and judgments about life and expression – thus turning my child into a copy of myself as those aspects of myself that I am actually regretting, fearing, wanting or the hidden parts of myself which I have denied, but which manifest within my child as their DNA. Therefore the child in most cases manifests as a ‘little demon’ because it exists as the information I have not effectively processed within myself or taken responsibility for but instead ‘suppressed’ within my mind – which now exists as the core information from which the child is designed – leaving the child unable to understand or even direct their experience – because they are not yet aware of how they are designed as the DNA of the parents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I allow my child to manifest in DNA as a copy of the aspects of myself that I did not effectively direct within what is best for all – and instead of taking self responsibility for myself using the child as a mirror – to effectively support myself and the child equally – I run and  hide behind more adult deceptions while professing to the child that he/she ‘must not do what I do’, thus teaching the child that inner conflict is acceptable to fear and hide from self responsibility – thus creating Bipolar disorder within the child as I ‘train’ him/her to avoid certain experiences of the mind by shifting yourself in the mind to more pleasant ‘happy/fulfilling’ experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing science to exist behind a veil of deception, where they claim to be those who ‘understand how the mind works’ yet they cannot directly speak the truth of what we are doing to the children and ourselves.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing scientists to lie and deceive by lying about the causes of mental illness, because what they say is done in such a way, to protect the system and to protect capitalism, which I have realized, simply by being self honest in my observation, but allow in anyway because I protect capitalism as well, do to a fear of death.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept what scientists say as they protect Capitalism, because I trust the Scientists and what they say as the ‘authority’ of how people function, without standing equal and one to who they are – as people stuck in the same fear of survival as I am – thus giving myself the opportunity to stop participating in the lie – and to see directly through what is being allowed – to speak up and stand as the solution and the voice to the solution.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Hyperactivity to exist as the manifestation of the design of myself as I have taken ‘activities’ – which are the basic practical points that require direction in our world for us to live – and sped them up to become more and faster – thus Hyper – so that more deeds can be performed each day by the slaves within capitalism to make sure that we get money for our actions.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop and design Bipolar disorder through generations of programming these behaviors into and as the mind as a life application which first exists as the personality of the being and then becomes the DNA of the being, to be passed down to the future generations, through mother and father together.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop and design Bipolar disorder through generations of programming these behaviors into and as the mind, due to my allowing the Fear of Self, and Fear of Survival, and to allow thought based patterns around which I go from seeking the experiences of elated moods and expansion to avoid the negative emotions and experiences – which becomes an energetic mind pattern which drives me through fear into hyper-activities, where I am always living according to this cycle.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop and design Bipolar disorder through generations of programming these behaviors into and as the mind – through which I have participated in the points mentioned above which make up and construct my mind in its entirety, which then gets called my personality – which is then accepted by myself as it is accepted by other people – simply because ‘it is human nature’ or ‘how god made me’ – which is how we as humanity allow ourselves to become dysfunctional and how over the generations we have designed and manifested Bipolar Disorder due to the previous generations and how we construct ours minds into a Pre-Programmed Design.