Day 162: The Paranormal Series part 23 - Demons vs. Angels part 10

This blog is a continuation from:

Day 149: The Paranormal Series Part 13 – Demons vs. Angels part 1

Day 152: The Paranormal Series Part 14 – Demons vs. Angels part 2

Day 153: The Paranormal Series part 16 - Demons vs. Angels part 3

Day 156: The Paranormal Series part 17 - Demons vs. Angels part 4

Day 157: The Paranormal Series part 18 - Demons vs. Angels part 5

Day 158: The Paranormal Series part 19 - Demons vs. Angels part 6

Day 159: The Paranormal Series part 20 - Demons vs. Angels part 7

Day 160: The Paranormal Series part 21 - Demons vs. Angels part 8

Day 161: The Paranormal Series part 22 - Demons vs. Angels part 9

"So both J and myself would confide in each other when we had arguments with family and from there our magic started developing from 'white magic' which as I explained above as the 'innocent' type of spell casting, to 'grey magic' where we would cast spells to 'bounce' what people did, back to them. LOL. Anyways so basically this meant that if somebody was mean to us or would try and hurt us etc, we would cast a spell so that whatever they did to us would go back to them 3 TIMES!! As I said, looking back now I can giggle about these things, because seriously it shows me, how religion shows firstly how effective the human imagination is in created our own self interest, but to also be able to live out and express all the nasty, thoughts and emotions that we have towards each other and ourselves, while supressing our fears of each other, but under the guise of 'spirituality, or 'religion'. Makes it all sound so plausible and innocent when you are getting away with all kinds of shit in your mind towards yourself and others…"

Artwork: https://www.facebook.com/marlen.delrazo

In the past I received many emails and comments on the videos I did about my Wiccan and Demon Possession experiences - where people misunderstood many of the things I explained. So perhaps I will address those questions here, because I see how sometimes speaking directly about my past and what I have come to realize about it - from a 'direct' translation' perspective creates confusion in some people - where for example due to again the 'filtering system' of the mind, where a person will directly equate what one says to their own point of reference - people will misinterpret what I am saying based on their point of reference. So now after writing about my experiences both in the book that I did (part 1) and doing the videos - I will explore new dimensions of those experiences in this blog - using the opportunity to slow down more and to consider the questions people have had about why I say what I say.

Artwork: https://www.facebook.com/marlen.delrazo

For example people responded to my video series where I explained that I was a wican AND used the Ouija Board to communicate with my guides and spirits, by saying that this could not be 'true wiccanism' if I used a Ouija Board. So I will use this opportunity to refer us back to the 'filtering system' that I wrote about back in a previous blog - where to make an assessment and comparison between one person's beliefs and practices to ones own practices -only happens if one has set in stone how you believe reality works and that your way of doing it is the correct way. This will be where we again just like our parents and grandparents, who insisted that their ways and religions and governments are 'the law' - are creating belief systems within ourselves of 'how things work' - whereby we filter what others do through our belief systems and will either respond 'yes that is acceptance or correct' or 'no you are wrong!'.

What I have realized over the years is that none of us really understands how reality works - is that not so? I mean for a moment consider how each one of us came to accept the religions that we did. For example for most, religion is either something that was passed down or 'forced' down by your parents and family or your religion became something you found on your own terms, by comparing what 'feels right' to you about yourself and life, and thus as the example that I gave about Wiccanism, it is something that 'resonated' with me. What this means is that ones pre-programmed personality designs are resonating with those aspects within the religion which would be amplified or supressed by the religion of choice. Thus indicating that firstly religion is not really a choice, because it is something that is mostly 'passed down', and if one note back to the creation of religion, you will see how and why at the time religion as control systems were implemented. Secondly if one is 'choosing' a religion according to what 'resonated with you' this as I found merely indicated to me what was suited to my personality. And within this what I realized about myself through the religion that I chose was invaluable.

Therefore, one is able to learn a lot about where one is not fully taking responsibility for oneself, by the religion that we 'choose'. For example in religion what I found is that it gave me something outside of myself to live for - instead of living for myself and sorting out my own mind and my own life. Religion gave me strength in the belief that deities and energies and cosmic forces were 'looking out for me' and 'changing my life' instead of me being my own strength, my own guide and changing myself so that I could life a productive life. Religion gave me morality rules and concepts to follow - which were mostly based on make believe, but again this gives the mind something to focus on, where I 'felt good' about the life I was living and about my 'standing' - instead of realizing that I was attaching 'who I am' and 'what I do' and 'how I live' to a feeling, instead of just living here in this physical body, in this physical reality. Another example is that religion gave me a scape goat - if I did something wrong I could explain it away to some dark energy or a plan that coincided with some god or a cosmic journey, while on the other side of the coin, asking forgiveness from some god or a cosmic force - without realising that in 'asking for forgiveness'; to another or even some invisible made up being, I was abdicating self responsibility, and therefore not changing my behaviour and being the responsible factor that is actually doing 'the living'.

So with all religion one is able to see how and why one walks this religion and wears it like a cloak. What does it do for you? Why do we create this 'cloak' which protects us, hides us, changes us and gives us rules to live by? Why do we externalise ourselves into Religion instead of us being the directive principle? Is it because without religions man would fall apart? Does religion first show us the diversity of the human mind fucks, where as I mentioned previously religion allows the human our self interest, where we create self interest of 'WHAT I WANT' and our religion allows us to explore and justify 'WHAT I WANT' because no one can argue with me if I say that my god wants this or god gave it to me, or 'but the bible tells us so.' I mean golly gosh who is going to argue with a god? So this is our way of justifying how we want to live life and then we throw religion in the face of any person who argues against us. You cant pick a fight with god now can you? (not saying I believe god exists, merely drawing a parallel between the idea of a god exiting in ones mind and what this means in totality for human behaviour). For me it was also a matter of 'feeling loved' through 'belonging' and through the words that came through either in books or on the ouija board.' All of the above where some of my reasons for the religion/belief systems I chose...

Day 133: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 3

This is a follow up from:

Day 131: The Paranormal Series - Ghosts and Demons Part 1

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and.html

Day 132: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 2

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-132-paranormal-seriesghosts-and.html

 

“Now, this is where I know most ghost enthusiasts will kick up a stink and complain to me that many ghost hunters will actually attempt to assist the ‘ghost/demon’ to ‘go to the light’ so to speak. But you know what? This is like saying to the room full of children – ‘its ok, don't be scared, go through that door over there, I have read in an old book written and rewritten by humans who are known for fabricating stories and inventing ‘knowledge’ to control people or to drive/impulse/manipulate the human for profit - that what is behind that door is ‘nice’. The fact is many ghost hauntings and possession cases re-occur and that the exorcist and demon hunters don't ACTUALLY know ‘what is behind the door’ (the white light) but are trusting sources from books – where they themselves have never actually been able to look behind the door …. So would you do that to a child? So for example when I had my ‘aha’ moment where I experienced shock and shame at my antics – what I realized was that firstly ‘why would a God allow beings who at the moment of a traumatic/confusing/angry death clinging to their bodies or homes or objects –why would such a God punish them by saying ‘well you wanted to stay there so weh…’”

 
If you have ever watched ‘ghost hunting/paranormal investigator’ type documentaries, then you will know what I am talking about. As I said before I have watched many documentaries/ghost movies and ghost hunter videos on youtube etc and a while back in preparation for this series, I went onto Youtube and watched some ghost hunter type documentaries to have a fresh view on how paranormal investigations are being done as of late.

1987 Paranormal Investigator

2013 - Paranormal Investigators or Rock Band?

The first thing that I noticed was the difference between ghost documentaries now and what they were like about 10 years ago. The emphasis back then was filming and documenting paranormal activity. Obviously I am not referring to the intentional creation and spreading of falsified ‘paranormal phenomena’ on the internet, but simply stating that the difference between what was filmed and presented many years ago to what is presented now is that back in the day the emphasis was on the paranormal. Now the emphasis is very much about the ego of the paranormal investigators and the entertainment value. Let me walk you through an example. The first ghost hunting series that I attempted to watch, was filmed by a group of 4/5 young men, each one looked like he had spent allot of time at the gym and spent plenty of time before filming gelling and prepping their hairstyles.


Then they opened their mouths and this is where my jaw dropped, because it become like a scene from a rugby player’s locker room, all of them preparing their ego’s for some big attack that is about to take place between themselves and this disembodies soul. As they started walking through the haunted location, the presenters themselves appeared to go into more and more of a possessed state as they started shouting challenges to the ghost/demons who occupied the building and each one’s threat to the ghosts was out done by the next.

For example they would shout things like ‘common, move something dammit!, is this all you’ve got, I’m not scared of you, show me what you’ve got!’ Now the demon/ghosts probably took one look at these Johnny Bravo looking characters and either left of thoroughly would have enjoyed the egotistical male energy that was oozing off these lads. So by the end of their tour through this haunted location, the 'Johnny Bravos’ were thoroughly disappointed by the no-show of the ghosts after they shouted so many threats and promises. If demons and ghosts were to roam those halls, I bet you a million dollars that they were not as inactive as the ‘hunters’ thought they were and would have been sapping their energy and probably encouraging the ego’s to extremes.

So this left me with the distinct impression, that these lads had absolutely no interest in the fate of these ‘souls’ but instead were there to chase things, and show off their ‘fearlessness and skill’s. Even though I had reached my limit with all the ranting and spearing, I decided to carry on and watch another episode. Again these lads with their well gelled hair and matching ghost hunter t-shirts set forth through the next haunted location, where it did not take long for the lad in front to start yelling threats and obscenities as the ‘demon/ghost that they suspected haunted this location. He even went as far as saying to the ghost/demon ‘common we know you hurt the people who use to live here… you think you are so brave, why don't you attack one of us and show us how big and brave you really think you are.’ Obviously at this point I am wondering what performance these lads are going to produce, because obviously if they are pushing for the ghosts to perform, either one of them is going to be attacked or they will have to fake an attack to keep the viewers interested.

I continued watching to see what would transpire, and true as bob a few minutes later one of the strong body builder looking Johnny Bravo’s start screaming like a girl clutching his face. He claims that ‘something smacked him in the face’ which is obviously what they had been waiting for, however what got me giggling was ‘how he reacted’ – screaming and cussing and carrying on as if he was upset by what this demon had done. I am thinking, ‘but wait a minute you were threating and pleading with this ghost/demon just a  few minutes ago: ‘why don't you attack one of us and show us how big and brave you really think you are’ and now that the demon'/ghost has done exactly that you complain and act as if you were completely innocent in the whole thing?

So that is just one example of the strange logic of the ghost hunter. I mean getting back to my example in my previous blog, of us watching a room full of hungry, lost, distraught children and getting a kick out of watching them run around in circles crying; This example of the Johnny Bravo ghost hunters is taking that example to the next level where you would actually taunt the lost, frightened children and make them cry even more. I mean we see examples of animal abuse on the internet/television where people will for example catch wild animals like bears and tigers and then put them in cages and poke them with sticks while the hunters drink beers and film themselves – this is the exact same thing.

I continued to randomly pick ghost investigative videos on Youtube and continued to be perplexed at the obvious level of self interest and the tactics used by the investigators to ‘up’ the level of entertainment value. Each ghost hunting team had its own technique – because unfortunately even for those who were genuinely interesting in documenting paranormal activity – their ratings would be influenced by whether the viewers lost interest or not. For some this did not matter, as they posted their videos regardless of how many views they got and during the investigations very little if anything would ever happen. This to me was more accurate in terms of the real time discovery and documentation of paranormal activity. For some there was action every 10 minutes, which obviously reeked of fakery. Unfortunately as with our taste in movies and music, one thing that stands out the most about the entertainment industry is definitely not the story or the music talent or the lyrics, it has become about the viewer/user, wanting a specific experience and the music/film industry has to cater for the human experience. That is why the movies we are seeing for the last 7/8 years are all the exact same story lines and the focus is always on the same factors such as sex, relationship dynamics, love, money, deception, etc. Same with the music industry  - as Myley Cyrus said herself after being interviewed about her rather strange performance a while back  - she admits that she can make crap music and crap music videos because her fans will always be there.

Getting back to the point why I am doing this blog series, I realized that I was participating in the industry that traps animals in cages and pokes at them with sticks for entertainment. At Desteni, we have been researching the existence of ghosts and the paranormal and I suggest if you are interested in this subject matter – to please follow this link to our demonology website where you will find the video and transcriptions of our series done on Desteni and Demons. From this you will be able to get a better understanding of the approach that I will be taking with this blog series. I am not supporting the existence of ghosts, I will however be walking a series of self understanding and self forgiveness on how demons/ghosts use to exist and how myself and other ‘paranormal enthusiasts’ continue through the mind to create paranormal experiences.

Next I will be walking each of the interviews that we did on Eqafe where it is explained how ghosts use to exist and how people experience paranormal events now – thus I will be exploring my own ‘quantum mind mechanics of paranormal events.’

Day 132: The Paranormal Series – Ghosts and Demons Part 2

This blog is a follow up from:
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-131-paranormal-series-ghosts-and.html

“My fascination started after my father’s death – where I realized that I could actually sense and at times see an outline of him in my home. This I initially connected to a simple fascination with my father and the questions that were left unanswered after he died. Therefore I was not really sure if I was really seeing/sensing him or if my underlying fears and desires were the cause of my experiences. I felt lost without him and I also felt guilty for him dying – because I connected his heart attack to him having to much stress which caused him to have the heart attack. This burden I carried with me for many years until I discovered Desteni and was supported to let go of the guilt, the fear, the dependency , the inherent desire to be with my father and to slowly learn to give myself back to me and live my life…”

What opened up for me though from about the age of 17 onwards was a peculiar ability to continue to sense and see spirits. Therefore from being able to sense and at times see my father – I developed an ability to also detect other ghosts and demonic beings. This peaked my interest in the paranormal even more and it was then that I started dabbling with Wiccanism and then Paganism and the Ouija Board – where I had an insatiable desire to communicate not only with my farther but with ‘dead people’ in general. Years later, I could explain that my fascination with ‘the dead’ largely had something to do with the fact that I really did not enjoy being around the living lol. I found conversations with the living to be very tiring and this I realized was due to the fact that I had depression due to how I was not dealing with my fathers death and the strained relationship I had with him before he died. So all in all – my 'fear of being without a father’, which is an inherent programmed design in all people and my guilt at my father dying drove me to wanting to in a way punish myself for my fathers depression that he had all of his adult life, which ended in him making a decision to provide for his family in spite of his painful childhood – after which he died from worrying about money to take care of his family.

All of this weighed so heavily on my shoulder and I delved deeper and deeper into adult depression – which caused me to have an uncanny/strange kind of character  - where I would be the odd, gothic looking girl in the back – who would cringe at the sight of humans at a party – and look forward to the time that I could go home to talk on the ouija board with ghosts lol. So my fascination with the supernatural around the age of 17 led me to reading ample books – which of course when my grandmother found out, caused her to have a fit and confront my mother about these un-godly satanic books that she was allowing her daughter to bring into the house. Funnily enough, my mother was so sick of her mothers tyrannical rants that she stood up to her and said ‘man leave her alone, she can read what she wants’.

After this I met a Wiccan at a party and soon after that we not only became friends but I joined him in his religion which kind of transmuted from Wicca to Paganism as we explored more and more ‘the darker side of things’. Anyway, I speak about my Wicca/Paganism/Ouija board adventures enough in all of the articles and videos referred to above – so I will skip to the next part.

Around the age of 24 I started studying Kinesiology because my second passion became about alternative therapies and assisting people. In my spare time i decided to study parapsychology – because this was what i really wanted to do but obviously career wise, in South Africa this does not give one an option for a paying career, so I simply did it because it was my ‘passion’. I joined an online course which was based with a paranormal Research group in Manchester, England. I only studied the first year of Parapsychology after which I was invited to come and live with the people who I am currently working and living with. More information on Desteni and the Portal above.

So you might be asking ‘why are you doing a blog series on the paranormal if your blog is about ‘Crime’s Journey to Life’. You see an interesting point that I touched on in my blog, which I referred to above, called: Ghost hunting – is where I realized one day that I was essentially using the distress of another being, caught on this earthly plane due to whichever distressful situation they experienced during death – to entertain myself with. It was the same as having a room full of hungry, distraught, sick, frightened, disorientated children and watching their distress and lostness to experience a thrill. Therefore what I am doing to myself and in essence to another being, even if it is a ‘ghost’ is using their distress and fear and confusion and vulnerability for my entertainment  and from my perspective this is saying about me that I abuse others vulnerabilities and obviously will allow the same to be done to me for the entertainment of others – and this is a Crime against Life. Just like people who justify that animal abuse is ok because they ‘beLIEve’ animals don't have ‘souls’ thus don't deserve equal life rights or that the animal kingdom is there to ‘serve man;’ – the same applies here – we are as ‘ghost hunters’ admitting that we believe or ‘know’ that ghosts exist as the disembodied essence or ‘soul’ (and the apparent value we give to a thing called a ‘soul’") of human beings –and yet at the drop of hat we will use their situation for our own entertainment value. Therefore you will note that as soon as a human or other life form on this plant is in a vulnerable position where it cannot defend itself – then within Capitalism as the ‘need for humans to survive’ or within the drive for human self-interest (as in this case for entertainment) we will find excuses to abuse/exploit that life form.

Now, this is where I know most ghost enthusiasts will kick up a stink and complain to me that many ghost hunters will actually attempt to assist the ‘ghost/demon’ to ‘go to the light’ so to speak. But you know what? This is like saying to the room full of children – ‘its ok, don't be scared, go through that door over there, I have read in an old book written and rewritten by humans who are known for fabricating stories and inventing ‘knowledge’ to control people or to drive/impulse/manipulate the human for profit - that what is behind that door is ‘nice’. The fact is many ghost hauntings and possession cases re-occur and that the exorcist and demon hunters don't ACTUALLY know ‘what is behind the door’ (the white light) but are trusting sources from books – where they themselves have never actually been able to look behind the door …. So would you do that to a child? So for example when I had my ‘aha’ moment where I experienced shock and shame at my antics – what I realized was that firstly ‘why would a God allow beings who at the moment of a traumatic/confusing/angry death clinging to their bodies or homes or objects –why would such a God punish them by saying ‘well you wanted to stay there so weh…’

In the next blog I  will expand on this point with another example.