Showing posts with label freud. Show all posts

Monday, October 15, 2012

Day 61: Education Fraud Part 22 – Medicalization of the Education System Part 10 - Self-Forgiveness on 'Professionals involved in the medicalizing process' Part 3

- It has been argued that, in the United States, educators have come to embrace ADD/ADHD and drug therapy as a result of decreased access to the use of traditional educational social controls of physical discipline and student expulsion or suspension (Kiger, 1985)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define education as a system of controlling children's behavior and thinking

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that children are not yet capable of understanding self responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect people to exists within certain morality parameters, set up by and through people who have not yet self honestly looked at the design of emotions, feelings, memories, reactions and the general nature of thought and how it influences people's behavior - but then to expect children to grown up within this structure of human psyche that has over time proven to be unstable and ineffective - as we can see by the consequential outflow that has become 'an ADHD child' or a child with Cognitive/behavioral Difficulties.'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, even though the proof is here that we do not yet grasp the design of the Mind and we do not yet fully comprehend the consequences of the current accepted way of Mind-behavior called Consciousness and 'Human-Thought - to continue giving such power to the current Psychology and Education Systems, which clearly do not yet have a grasp on why the human has become increasing violent, unstable, unpredictable and emotionally volatile - but instead to place generation after generation of children through the same brainwashing, simply because those were the accepted ways of preparing a young child - the same as what we were subject to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the Education System to stand as the responsible party that is apparently above reproach, when clearly the system of Education is flawed as we can see - as the human more and more disregards others and the physical reality in the name of inner energetic experiences based on self interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as parent to simply allow educators to use drugs to control and manage my child's behavior, instead of realizing that they do not have the answers and that they too are trapped in political agendas behind why human nature is exploited and controlled for the personal gain of minority groups, who profit from the fucked up nature of the human.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stand as self responsibility and to act out abusive behaviors towards my world and others - which then manifests as the education system having to implement control measurements in the form of physical punishments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the behavior of the child to be so rebellious and reactive to its environment/rules/expectations, that after a while the education system has to place a ban on physical punishment in schools, indicating that there is a maladjustment in how the humans behavior develops, due to the imprinting of images through media, television, the internet and the examples that are set for children through the behaviors of the parents and the rest of society.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait until the education system has to ban physical punishment in school, forcing teachers to turn to drugs to control children, due to the fact that I as human, as parent have never considered what we have become as the human as the way we think, behave, speak and live - whether it be in secret or in the open.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not really care about what happens to the world, about what I participate in, what I do to others, what I say about others, what I think/believe about others or myself - but when my child starts behaving in the exact same manner of not caring and not wanting to stick to society/parental/morality rules - then I go up in arms and subject the child to drugs and punishment, as I simply repeat what was done to me by my educators/parents when I was a child, instead of stopping and changing all of these patterns as they exist by taking responsibility for myself, my world and how i prepare my children to be fully functional beings, considerate of themselves and other as Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the current education system which controls what we teach children and how children must understand the world and live in it - which comes directly from the control of the human into accepting the current world systems of money, into which they will be walking into, in order for them to survive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this control of the information and development of the children into organic robots that compliantly accept the system, no matter how much abuse is directly and indirectly caused in the name of money and greed - while at the same time leaving the parents and educators with little, restricted or no solutions as to how to direct these conflicted, outward/reactive behaviors - all because those who control human behavior for money understand that to allow further friction within society, ensures that the false leadership and authority that currently exists, will always be depended upon, as humanity believes we require the sciences and governments to solve our problems for us - because we have never considered self-responsibility and self honesty.

Therefore as the parents refuse to take self responsibility for who they became, what type of world they create and then what their children became - the outflow of that is a world in peril, with Capitalists profiting from the conflict, fear and need for outside forces to control human behavior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as educator and parent, to refuse to see that my child - is representing the next generation of the human race which is not the living image of what is best for all, but mere characters surviving according to the ego - as each human tries to be famous and have their special experiences, regardless of the cost to other lives. That is why we are seeing children expressing themselves in ways that irritate and concern the parent - however if the parents were to really look at the child's behaviors - they will see that the child mirrors what they see at home, on television, on the internet and around them in the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this cycle of perpetual bullying and lack of self responsibility from the child and adult to continue in ever increasing cycles, where children are behaving more and more 'outwardly/reactive' and the 'authorities' are proclaiming that there is less and less educators and parents may do about the behavior - other than of course supporting a multi billion dollar drug industry that keeps the population addicted, dependent and believing the human is 'flawed'.

I commit myself to develop a world system that removes money-determined research/policies and implementation of living standards - to a system that firstly exists to support Life, where the 'systems' that currently exist will purely be there as support foundation from which information is drawn and life-support-modalities can be designed according to.

Equal Money System - Education Goal:

"Education in an Equal Money System will prepare Each Human to become a Self-Aware, Responsible Part of the Human Race that lives a fulfilled and Extra Ordinary Life of Excellence, Happiness and fun. Equal Money will Ensure that every Citizen is Effectively Educated to Live in Harmony with Plants, Animals and the Environment in General."

http://equalmoney.org/goals/4-education

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Day 35: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 19

This is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-34-international-crime-research.html

Please refer to: Day 24: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 8 for background information, on how and why I will be walking the characters of Criminals/Offenders.

To recap: the following blog is written from the perspective of familiarizing myself one and equal with the mind, character and personality of someone who watches/consumes child pornography. By walking equal to the mind of the user, I am able to draw from it, the contributing factors from the initial thought to the decision that is made to watch child pornography and how the mind is further fueled through backchat and behaviors, until in time, the characteristic is defined and directs the being into action, through an accumulation of memories, thoughts and experiences. What follows is specific self-forgiveness on the characteristics within the write-up.

“When I was offered a job in another city she cried and said that she could not leave her family, whom she was very close to -so we stayed. I became increasingly irritated with her from that point on and started seeing her for what she was – a weak minded girl who was to afraid to be away from her family even though she was now married. My resentment turned into spitefulness – she wanted to try for a baby – and I said ‘ I was not ready’. This went of for two more years as I continued to lie about why we could not yet have a baby – she was suffocating me by restricting my choices in life I would do the same to her. We started fighting about everything – money, family, friends, babies, and careers – eventually we both acted from spitefulness whenever we had a chance. I noticed in our arguments that her family must have been fueling her resentment towards me for not ‘being ready’ to have a baby – as she would let slip ‘well you know my sister thinks that…’ This fueled my resentment as I made a decision one day to just ‘ignore the bitch’.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design a relationship, which becomes about conflict, resentment and blame.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take self-responsibility for who I had become in relation to my relationship and what I was accepting and allowing to unfold within myself and the relationship.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize my self responsibility on how to walk through these points, what to apply within myself and when to stop the relationship as soon as both beings accepted ourselves as the results of the relationship, instead of remaining directive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stop my participation in blaming, resentment and conflict – where instead of stopping the game this relationship had become – I gave my power away to the entire concept of ‘staying together for the sake of relationships’ – and therefore compounding the anger and resentment into a possession.

“We started leading separate lives – she spent most of her time with her family and I spent all my time on the Internet surfing gaming sites and utilizing porn as a substitute for my wife. I would use porn extensively to masturbate while Lucinda was visiting her family. Sex obviously became a massive problem – as I knew that she was trying for a baby and I did not want to start a family with this woman. I worked in a dead end job for a basic salary, where as all the jobs I could apply for, I could not, as I knew she would not be willing to move away. Each time we discussed potential job opportunities she would start crying about me not loving her and her sick father needing her and blah, blah, blah…”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deliberately become resentful in my words and actions, due to how I was experiencing myself within the relationship.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a picture in my mind of how I hated my partner or how immature I saw her/him, and from this used thoughts to fuel my anger – where I would find ways of acting out against her and the relationship.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to these thoughts through anger, spite, rage, resentment, until I experienced a physical reaction as I started changing me in my behavior, the way I talked, walked and physically carried myself when around the other person and when thinking of the person – therefore locking into my physical body this pattern consisting of the original picture, the backchat thoughts and reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use pornography as a means (after thinking about it) of excluding my wife and being spiteful by masturbating to pictures of other woman.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to through the picture I held of blaming my wife to the thoughts around wanting to spite her, to use hard porn as a means of satisfying this new need to hurt others and to derive pleasure from feeling sexually gratified through seeing sexual submission, control and pain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop this pattern as character of ‘hard porn’ watcher as I accumulated all my backchat and the energy I experienced from this pattern into and as the experience of watching this porn, as it became the only way I could experience revenge towards my partner and woman in general.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to watch illegal porn due to my belief (during the thought creation phase) that I was in control of what and who I could harm or enjoy in my masturbation fantasies – as a means of striking out at the world and my partner, whom I blamed for my inner experience and character.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to watch child porn because I gave up within myself and blamed the ‘lack of morality’ of another as to why I will now ‘punish others/the world’ by being ‘immoral’ and acting in ways that I knew would harm others or the morality of others and through this morality game ensure that I become the powerful one by showing all through my secret acts that I am powerful/in control.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide behind these multiple layers as my reactions to experiences in my life, and through this layering of thoughts, backchat conversations and decisions I made, to make a decision directed by my possession – to find sexual gratification in watching child pornography.

I now see, realize and understand that the decision to watch child pornography had many hidden dimensions to it, all accumulated decisions which fueled further decisions into who I became as child molester – as a character in which I in the end, ultimately used for self-importance, self-gratification, self-empowerment and through many, many dimensions ultimately concocted the belief and idea within myself to achieve sexual gratification as I had labeled it within my Psyche to ‘sex with the young/minors/the innocent/children’.

I commit myself to show tat as we design ourselves as conditions, characters, personalities, offenders – all ways of being as humans – there are solutions to understanding the multidimensional aspects by getting to know oneself and your past.

I commit myself to walk the path of self-forgiveness as I have seen how this has supported me through experiences I ‘thought’ I could never change – and through walking self forgiveness as a solution for what I faced I have proven that it is a solution to for all. Obviously within this we are to take into consideration the entire design of the being, and from there assess how to best support the individual. In an Equal Money System for example, we will not be limited by money to be able to present solutions based on effective clear research. In an Equal Money System, we will effectively get to the bottom of the human and how we have programmed ourselves as there will be no limitation financially or politically to what we can do and that will influence the outcome.

Further Support: Freedom Blogs:

The birth of Practivism - Volume 1

Freedom Blogs - The Birth of Practivism - Volume 2

Freedom Blogs - The Birth of Practivism - Volume 3

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Day 29: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 13

This is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-28-international-crime-research.html

Please refer to: Day 24: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 8 for background information, on how and why I will be walking the characters of Criminals/Offenders.

To recap: the following blog is written from the perspective of familiarizing myself one and equal with the mind, character and personality of someone who watches/consumes child pornography. By walking equal to the mind of the user, I am able to draw from it, the contributing factors from the initial thought to the decision that is made to watch child pornography and how the mind is further fueled through backchat and behaviors, until in time, the characteristic is defined and directs the being into action, through an accumulation of memories, thoughts and experiences. What follows is specific self-forgiveness on the characteristics within the write-up.

Pedophile Character: Man who watches child porn as a substitute for women/men

“ Growing up I had difficulty around woman, I always found myself from about the age of 11 onwards, to be aware that girls are different to boys and from what I had read and been told by my older brother – apparently girls would one day be a very important part of my life. Becoming a teenager, I brought with me the memory of pictures I had seen in porn magazines and ‘adult education’ books – where a man meets a woman, takes her to dinner and bangs her brains out. According to romantic novels he might later on marry her.

When I reached pubescence I developed acne and no matter what creams my mother bought me, I would always have red marks and pimples on my face. By the age of 15, I knew that I was interested in girls and like most boys my age developed masturbation fantasies around girls in my school. I remember the one day I was sitting in class and I heard the girls sitting at the table behind me, talking about me. Shelly was asking Valerie whom she was going to invite to her birthday party. Shelly would mention people in the class’ names and Valerie would respond with a ‘yes’, ‘no’ or some personal insult to clarify her discontent towards that boy or girls and the reason why they definitely would not be invited to her birthday party. I was following their conversation, because I was intrigued to know whether I would be invited to this party. The only other parties I had been to were that of my guys friends and I had never been invited by a girl to one of their birthday parties. That seemed like something that was reserved for the semi popular/cool or attractive guys. The nerd were only invited by other nerds and nobody paid any attention to who was being invited to their parties. This in itself caused a tingle in my belly, as I knew that being invited to Valerie’s party would mean the beginning of this phase where we now start treating each other in different context’s then mere ‘children’. As Shelly whispered my name my stomach tightened and I unconsciously held my breath. From all the nasty comments I heard Valerie make about some of the other boys and girls, I couldn’t help but wish that she would magically see me as someone cool enough to get invited to her shindig. Shelly whispered my name and Valerie’s response was ‘gross’. Shelly spurted out a short giggle and both girls tried to suppress their laughter into their hands before they continued onto the next unsuspecting victim. An ice-cold rod shot up my spine into my neck and face and a cold flash crept its way into my belly – as my worst fear had been realized: I was ugly and the girls hated me.

During my teenage years the girls mostly ignored me and I learnt to accept that I was not handsome or cool enough for the girls I liked. By the age of 17 I dated a girl for a few months but she wanted to wait for sex after marriage so I did not score and therefore felt even more withdrawn from this reality that I felt I was supposed to be in with the other young men, bragging about their girlfriends and whether they scored with them or not. So I distracted myself during breaks to not have to watch and be part of the socialization of the horny teenagers outside, and followed my interest, which was to play on the computers in the library. I developed an interest in computer programming and after graduating I studied to become a computer programmer.

By the age of 19 I fell in love with a girl, who after 6 months decided to sleep with one of the guys I worked with. I was furious – as I treated her like a queen and spent all my hard earned cash on her. After that relationship I met Lucinda, a girl who worked in the office next to me. We fell in love and got married when I was 23. We were married for 4 years during which time – we fell out of love, as we realized that our interests changed and she was too attached to her family. When I was offered a job in another city she cried and said that she could not leave her family, whom she was very close to -so we stayed. I became increasingly irritated with her from that point on and started seeing her for what she was – a weak minded girl who was to afraid to be away from her family even though she was now married. My resentment turned into spitefulness – she wanted to try for a baby – and I said ‘ I was not ready’. This went of for two more years as I continued to lie about why we could not yet have a baby – she was suffocating me by restricting my choices in life I would do the same to her. We started fighting about everything – money, family, friends, babies, and careers – eventually we both acted from spitefulness whenever we had a chance. I noticed in our arguments that her family must have been fueling her resentment towards me for not ‘being ready’ to have a baby – as she would let slip ‘well you know my sister thinks that…’ This fueled my resentment as I made a decision one day to just ‘ignore the bitch’.

We started leading separate lives – she spent most of her time with her family and I spent all my time on the Internet surfing gaming sites and utilizing porn as a substitute for my wife. I would use porn extensively to masturbate while Lucinda was visiting her family. Sex obviously became a massive problem – as I knew that she was trying for a baby and I did not want to start a family with this woman. I worked in a dead end job for a basic salary, where as all the jobs I could apply for, I could not, as I knew she would not be willing to move away. Each time we discussed potential job opportunities she would start crying about me not loving her and her sick father needing her and blah, blah, blah.

After another year Lucinda tells me one day out of the blue – that she has been seeing another man, whom she works with, and that she is pregnant. The shock hit me so hard that I simply sat there starring at her. Then the shock mutated into rage as I realized that yet again I was deceived by a woman into giving up my life and getting nothing for it. I moved out of our apartment into a small one bedroom apartment on the other side of town – closer to my work. This is where I spent the rest of my time – from work I come home and I surfed the web, playing games until late at night. I used porn sites as I had done before, but now that I was living alone for the first time in years, combined with this seething rage – I started looking for specific porn. Rape porn and sadomasochism – were the only forms of pornography that gave me release. I enjoyed watching woman being abused and eventually only used hardcore porn sites.

From there due to the types of websites I was already using, I found my mind constantly chasing me to find more and more absurd and hardcore porn. I would feel a rush of power as I masturbated to these scenes where woman were being hurt, embarrassed, mutilated. My thoughts when alone at home were always around which new category of porn I could investigate. I went through various sites and then I came across child pornography. The sensation as I flicked through some of the images were triggered by thoughts linked to sheer vengeance towards my ex wife and the baby that she wanted to have with another man – and how she wanted what she wanted without giving me what I wanted. The child before my eyes as a victim to what I could do – became the new source of hatred I used to feed this frenzy I constantly felt around the desire to masturbate. I watched child porn while I masturbated not because I found the children attractive – but the sense power overwhelmed me. In that my mind developed new thoughts, new sensations in my body as my addiction used my rage to fuel itself. After using child pornography for years – I could no longer tell the difference between a normal sexual attraction to a woman and this link I had created between my anger and the rush I felt from watching child pornography. To me sexual pleasure was derived from my secret reality I could access on the internet.”

If you read the story above – you will notice how the abuser's mind works in layering of information over time – in which the person has an initial experience or thought and from there uses backchat as thinking to fuel further development into the point. So looking at memories – we see here that each time we experience something we store the experience in the mind as memory. Then at a later point one uses the memory in ones current experiences to compare how one will now face the current experience one is in. Therefore for an abuser for example – one is looking at a character that is created from layers and layers of memories – each one fueling the current experience – until the current experience is then existent as memories with the latest information of how the person experiences themselves. The original personality design of the person, as one can observe in the story, creates the initial foundation point from which the person starts building their experiences. A person, who is for example pre-designed as the personality construct of sexually addictive, will develop and build more specific sexual addictions around the experiences they have had. Add to that the tendency as personality to distance oneself from responsibilities or problems one is facing, together with the personality of ‘blame’ – and one has a specific character design that comes together as seen in the example above. Add to that all the likes, dislikes, fears, behaviors and other patterns already existent from childhood – and you have the makings of a character – whom to the next person might appear absurd or even strange -but look for yourself; each design element – one could call it of the character of pedophile, is a combination of thousands of minor factors, that once glued together as the ACCEPTANCE and ALOWANCE of the individual, becomes them in their totality and appears to the individual to be normal as ‘who they are’.

in the example above, if one starts walking the time line of how he designed himself, one can see that as a young man he was faced with desire for recognition based on the value system he was taught from his parents, the media, his peers and siblings on what it means to be a man or a woman and at what stage one should start showing an interest in girls. Here the person stepped into a pre-designed role which was designed through society – into what is the acceptable human experience and that if he is to be a ‘normal’ young man’ he would follow the character of being accepted by the opposite sex. As humans, for example we are trained from young to fit into these sexual identities or characters and are also taught that to accept oneself you have to be accepted within the role that is predetermined for you by society. This is the first step into character – as we believe we should become what others have hinted or directly told us to become through ways of education. We are also taught, that if we do not manage to become the character set out for us, then there is something wrong with us, and then we are also through the education given to us by our parents, educated on how to react emotionally and behaviorally if we are unsatisfied with our experience. What a dichotomy we have created – we create rules according to what it means to be human , and then we create emotional dis-stress if we cannot fulfill those roles -through which we furthermore fuck ourselves into the role of victim to our own victimization. All humans complain about how uncomfortably it is to be depressed, sad, angry, secluded, worried etc as an experience of ourselves if we do not meet the standards of society – and yet nobody is willing to change those standard -fascinating how the human is a sucker for punishment.

This young man was faced as we all have - with the multidimensional nature of himself within who he believed he should be. This was then contradicted by how the girls responded to him – based on the characters they had come to accept themselves as, within the world and societal systems. His reactions to how he was treated was programmed by him as the memories together with the feelings, emotions and thoughts he had in that moment – into and as himself as a dimension of himself. He then throughout his life added experiences to this character until it became his personality – where in the end the pedophile is acting from these dimensions in which he has programmed the layers of information about his life experiences.

So – even though I have only walked the characters of two pedophiles –realize – as you can see from yourself if you were to place yourself in the ‘shoes’ or ‘character’ of a pedophile – that thousand of different pedophile characters exist in this world –as each person develops him/herself differently according to different memories. Each one’s life experiences and pre-programming is different, which results in each character being slightly different. The key here however – is to see, realize and understand the complexity of how the mind created the ‘here’ of who I am – based on the accumulation of moments as memories and by storing the information into and as the mind – where we have become the living manifestation of memories – which are our characters as we try and live out the past experiences. This is how the mind as the conscious, subconscious and unconscious functions – it is a machine that uses memories to imprint who and what the mind should be based on the value system we give the memory in the moment. And the minute we go into the mind and participate in the ‘here’ moment which is simplistically me here in my body, breathing and participating in my world – and I shift into the mind and participate in reality through my mind – by seeing a and experiencing ‘here’ as any value system laden with information – then I am programming me into and as a memory. Now my next moment will be the same – where I am constantly shifting from one mind dimension to the next as I move through the layers of information that were implanted into me as my childhood memories where my parents and teachers started brainwashing my moments by giving them information values – where I now constantly move through dimensions in the mind to access the characters of me I want or need to me here – based on all the layers of information I had already programmed before. So my character now becomes a memory regurgitator as I attempt to live out the good memories or avoid the bad memories.

As you can see from the example of the pedophiles -and this is applicable to ALL of us – not just the ‘criminal/offender’ - is that his experience became that of trying to either run away from bad memories – by aligning his characters to new choices that would allow him to avoid pain/humiliation – or he made his character choices based on the memories of what he had come to believe to be ‘good/happy times’ – and so he moved into the character of seeking happiness and fulfillment. What eventually happens is we create many characters as combination of the two polarities –because we are constantly trying to adjust our characters to avoid pain and experience happiness. Each time we shift into a new character, we compiled from all the memories that we were satisfied contained ‘positive experiences’ – either from our own past or from what we saw others having – we are running into new variables as obviously our environment and other people and such factors will not go according to our plan – but will again force us to shift into new characters by either attempting to change our character to avoid that point or by forcing change in our environment/others.

So what can we tell about the pedophile as the character he has become? As you can see the individual is not really sexually attracted to a child – as a practical physical, sexual expression point with another consenting individual with whom you are sexually fairly compatible with. No - The individual is sexually ‘attracted’ – because his character in that moment is loaded with information based on past events that have now symbolically come together to play out as the pedophile. This individual believes he is attracted to the child – because he believes the end result of the character – however as observers we can see that there are multi dimension and layers to who this individual is as ‘pedophile’. His/her character exists as a layer of information starting with how he was programmed as a young man – and from there be designed himself as character in reaction to what he experienced in his world. The mind in that way is ‘simplistic by nature’ in that it takes moments and imprints it into itself and the symbolic value given to that memory. Due to how the mind functions as a character in relation to the other characters – we can see that the mind function to continuously adapt and change the character to be able to survive between all the other characters we have all come to accept.

So this manifestation of the pedophile for example, merely shows us the multidimensional nature of ourselves and how we really are the creators of ourselves. Therefore to truly understand the mind of for example ‘the pedophile’ – it is necessary for one to walk the time line of this being’s design -how his character was created. Only then can one delete the character – as one takes self responsibility for the parts of the character – by looking into the dimension into which he/she shifted when he/she experienced the information – and by deleting the dimension by bringing it here and applying self forgiveness on the dimension.

So the solution for example is not to say ‘stop being a pedophile’ as remember in the background you could say – running on automatic is the individuals mind creating characters automatically – I mean if this was not the case – we would not be seeing any person–which when dissected has a time line of information placement points which then equates to an end result. These end results we have come to call human and human personalities. For us to stop the world characters of abuse in all it millions of forms we have to go to who is implementing and doing the abuse – the human. Therefore we have identified that the human is the character that is applying abuse on this planet. Now to understand how we all abuse and allow abuse -we go into the character one has become as the abuser – to understand how the character was created – and by doing this we delete the memories that hold the vast networks of information which all come together to create ‘my current character’.

Please realize that even thought I basically write out an entire life story for this individual – I am still only touching on maybe 10 to 20 memories that made up the character of the offender. This is merely an example I am walking for each offender. Realize that there are millions upon millions of moments from birth that are imprinted into the mind as memory – which later became the present day character of the individual. Therefore in my example I bring across the childhood memories, the feelings, emotions, thoughts, behaviorisms, the DNA, the environmental influences, the cultural programing etc. This is not even touching on the Soul Construct Design of the individual according to how the Soul Construct use to work – as who they being was designed to be this life time before they were even placed into their human life. This in itself is a vast topic and does not require of us to go into to understand our characters now – because all we need to understand and see -is how we designed our characters from childhood – and in that we have sufficient data on the character we are now.

In my next Blog I will apply Self-Forgiveness and Self-Commitment Statements on the Character above.

(Please note that in my blog I use fictional characters, stories and names)

Monday, July 2, 2012

Day 23: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 7

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-22-international-crime-research.html

Research taken from: http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/ Legal Issues Raised by the Regulation of Computer Child Pornography

Along with all the truly remarkable--even lifesaving--tasks which computers perform, the development of computers and the advent of on-line communication has introduced serious challenges into every area of the law. Many questions have yet to be answered. For example, in each nation across the globe, who is legally liable for material placed on a bulletin board system, an on-line service or on the Internet" The individual who introduces the material into the system, the systems operator, the producer of the material, and/or the person who downloads it" There are further questions. In the case of pornography transmitted by computer, the origination of the image may be in a jurisdiction in one part of the world where the image is legal but it may travel to another where the image is patently illegal. Should the global network be dominated by the strictest standard or the most tolerant" Furthermore, should not consenting adults be able to engage in e-mail interactive chat sessions which describe "objectionable" materials since these same communications might not be criminalised it they were face to face, by regular post, or by telephone" The possibility of creating computer generated pornography has produced a myriad of additional legal issues that are difficult to resolve. Civil libertarians argue that if computer generated pornography involves no real child victim, laws based on protecting children would no longer apply and regulation would be an unwarranted restriction of free speech. They argue that because there is no absolute scientific data that demonstrates a causal connection between the use of child pornography and the commission of crimes against children, there is no reason to restrict its transmission on the Internet. They might also point out the difficulty of determining the "age" of a "child" depicted in a computer generated image. Child advocates voice the position that the harm of child pornography extends far beyond the individual victim. They assert that children as a whole are the victims of computer generated pornography which displays child victims as sexual objects. Many law enforcement officers argue that the harm reaches beyond the individual child when pornography is used to seduce other children. They add that neglecting to prohibit computer generated child pornography could well re-establish the commercial trade--filling bookstores with computer generated images, de-sensitising society and fuelling demand for such material. Additionally, if it becomes impossible to distinguish computer generated pornography from that which depicts an actual child, prosecution of " genuine" child pornography would become virtually impossible and child pornographers would be furnished with another avenue of defense.

Stopping for a break on a walk in Nature - to
write our Journey to Life Blogs, with Andrea, Lindsay, Niklas,
Malin and Rozelle

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to have become so desensitized by abusive images in this world that I will allow abuse to escalate to the extent that it has – and at no point stand up as the voice to stop abuse, but instead turn the point around within my mind through backchat, where I will rationalize and excuse-away the abuse, until I can comfortably set the problem aside inside my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify the use of child pornography as someone else’s problem, the government’s problems and the problem of ‘irresponsible parents’ whose fault it is for allowing their children to end up being abused.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify that child pornography only exists because there are people in the world who are ‘mentally deranged and sick’ - not realizing that any and all sexual addiction and the participation therein exists due to me being maladjusted in my sexual responses– and therefore if I am not self responsible within sexuality and use my mind as fantasies and secret desires to influence my sexual behavior – then I am responsible for myself as abuser.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the impact that child abuse and child pornography will have on the world, will only be subject to children who are of lower socioeconomic value than my own and therefore it does not bother me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify that because these children were forced into these situations by the abusers and were not protected by the parents – that it serves the parents right for not protecting the children and therefore I can continue allowing child pornography as it serves as warning and punishment for those who do not protect their children.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that these children who are abused are already accustomed to abusive lifestyles and therefore within my mind I separate myself from these children and see them as less than myself and less than my children.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and believe that due to these children mostly coming from broken homes or poor homes, that these are merely ‘victims of our society’ and therefore not deserving of equal rights to be protected by the system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing society to push these children aside through judgment and perception that it is their fault for what happened to them due to the socio economic situation they find themselves in or for their parents apparently not protecting them sufficiently – which only exists as justification and reason for society to continue participating in the Mind – as the foundation from which all abuse is designed on an individual and global level.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be spiteful towards these children by secretly believing – well some children are special and are therefore taken care of and others are not. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself through family to allow such a mind set of ‘my children are special’, through which I will justify separating my family from the rest of the world, which consequently has had the effect of each family looking on as other families/individuals are abused in the name of profit and human self interest.

I commit myself to reveal the structure of family as the point of separating ourselves and our family members from the rest of the world and using family as the justification why my bubble is special and I only have to protect my family-bubble – and that this serves as the reason why all families accept and allow abuse t happen to other families.

I commit myself to show how humanity has desensitized ourselves to the abusive that happens and how we refuse to accept self-responsibility as the users and abusers on this planet. I commit myself to show that Capitalism is not even the real problem – as Capitalism merely exist as the system that we as the Consumers and Capitalists give permission to on a day to day basis – therefore if children are being exploited for money it is firstly because we are not self responsible within sexual expression – and secondly that we will sit by and watch as Capitalism continues to exists to support us, while making profit from abuse to support us.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Day 22: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 6

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-21-international-crime-research.html

Research taken from: http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/

USES OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY – continued

5. Blackmail: Sexually explicit images are used to ensure the lifelong silence of the victimised child by threatening to show the pictures to parents, peers or others. Child victims will not always report pictorial records--even if they report sexual abuse--because they may be ashamed of what happened to them as well as of their participation in the pornography.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing blackmail within this world, due to human greed and self-interest – through which by the sheer nature of blackmail we accept ourselves as the abusers of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to blackmail people as a means of requiring money instead of taking self responsibility for myself within providing for my own means – whereby I will align myself to abuse for money instead of Self responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing blackmail, whereby I am disregarding the experienced for the other person, and only looking out for my own self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing blackmail to exist around the principle of secrets, whereby someone can blackmail me based on revealing my secrets to the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing secrets to exists within my world, where I act in ways that I would not reveal to others due to my actions not standing as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a world where blackmail has become such an extensive means of obtaining money due to us having conflicting moral within society, where we will judge certain actions as so immoral, that we have to hide these actions, even though as the high incidence of blackmail shows - we still live out these immoral actions, but as a society approve of the action of hiding or suppressing what we do.

6. A medium of exchange: Child pornography is used as a means of establishing trust and camaraderie with other pedophiles and molesters and as proof of their good intentions when establishing contact with other exploiters. It is a medium of communication with fellow exploiters in public and private sex markets.

7. Access: Some exploiters exchange pornography to gain access to other markets and to other children

8. Profit: Although most do not sell child pornography, there are some paedophiles and child molesters who sell home-made videos and photos on a one-to-one basis. Some child exploiters sell their self-produced materials to finance trips overseas to popular sex tourist destinations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have minimized the quality of life to simply exist as something that I can sell and trade for my own self-interest and greed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing capitalism to turn everything into profitable material – and by accepting and allowing this I have admitted that I have no worth, my family has no worth and anything I do has no worth, as it all gets equated to a point of profit within capitalism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only complain about life being equal to profit – if it affects myself or my family, where I will cry and moan, but if I see it happening all around me to billions of beings each day, I turn by back and pretend I did not notice or pretend that it is not me that is responsible as I am the one that profits from living in this system that uses life for money.

THE CONNECTION BETWEEN CHILD PORNOGRAPHY AND CHILD SEX ABUSE CRIMES

Some social scientists interpret the research to indicate that the use of child pornography is a precursor to other sex crimes and that child pornography is fuel to feed the obsession of paedophilia; Child Pornography and Sexual Exploitation: European Forum for Child Welfare Position Statement, 3 (Nov. 1993) [hereafter EFCW Position Statement] (citing studies that support this thesis). others conclude that it is a safety valve that prevents such crimes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the justification of allowing child pornographers to use child pornography as a safety valve – where I say that at least by only looking at pictures the abusers are not actually abusing real children – not understanding, realizing and comprehending the type of world I am creating where I mask these abusive intention with clever words and justifications, to protect my right to abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the excuse of ‘at least they are only masturbating to pictures of children’ as an excuse to justify the reason why I can masturbate to picture of people, creating a world where we mask our inner behaviors with reasons and excuses – without properly investigating mathematically how abuse unfolds from the abuse we allow within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing child pornography to continue existing on the Internet, even though research indicates that child pornography exists in most cases as a prelude to the actual act.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate the actions on the internet from reality – not realizing that the actions on the internet reveal what people are really doing inside and out – and is not merely just a make believe world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give permission to the internet as a secret reality that is apparently only 3d- where I allow others their secret fantasies as long as they allow me my secret fantasies – where the internet has grow to such an extent that anything and everything is allowed under the guise of ‘its only a virtual reality and not real.’

I commit myself to show how the human has allowed itself to separate its actions into realities that are always justified as acceptable by society due to it existing in a bubble called religion, internet, culture, family, relationship, sport, entertainment, individuality, free-will – and to show that these bubbles are how we protect the deception that we clearly see and understand – however never want to take responsibility for equal and one to its existence.

Further Reading:

Success and Reward

The Visible and Invisible

Day 53: Slavery Exploiting Sex, Life and Labor in the Consumerism Concentration Camp

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Day 18: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 2

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-17-international-crime-research.html

Research information taken from: http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/

II. SCOPE OF THE PROBLEM

Child pornography is an international phenomenon. Most of the data that exists regarding the extent and nature of the problem has focussed on North America and Northern Europe--regions which have played a key role in the production, distribution and consumption of child pornography. "The U.S. market for child pornography is widely thought to be the most lucrative in the world." Child Pornography and Paedophilia: Report Made by the Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations, U.S. Senate, 99th Cong. 2d Sess. 34 (1986) [hereinafter U.S. Senate Report]. In developing countries, the reality of child pornography is dwarfed by the magnitude of other problems such as poverty, infant mortality, illiteracy, hunger, and disease and often there is little reliable data on the subject. Nonetheless, the pornographic exploitation of minors is a phenomenon that exists throughout the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue to support Capitalism, even though there is sufficient evidence that Capitalism functions on and profits directly from Abuse that exists in this world, and that most forms of Abuse would be eradicated or prevented if we remove the necessity for people to survive in the money system, and if we remove the principle of greed and profit.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing countries to be separated according to ‘developed’ and ‘developing’ which is a breeding ground for abuse within capitalism, as we separate countries according to these standards, where the developing countries battle for access to basic requirements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this division to exist based on profit and greed of the rich whereby we deliberately play games with lives, by holding onto this lie that countries have to develop and earn the right to have access to more resources, instead of realizing that firstly we live and are given life equally – therefore the real evil is to hold countries prisoner according to the standards of ‘development’ within Capitalism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse people based on this principle within Capitalism of Developing – in which I will standby and justify why people do not have access to food, water, shelter, medical supplies, education – simply to advance the rich countries and thus to advance myself within my economic class bracket.

1. Identifying the Victims

Girls and boys of all ages, including infants, are used to produce pornography around the world. Estimates of the number of children worldwide involved in child pornography range from thousands to hundreds of thousands. As to the gender of the victims, Federal Bureau of Investigation ("FBI") personnel estimate that over 50% of all child pornography seized in the United States depicts boys rather than girls. Canadian Customs puts that figure at 75% for Canada. The data regarding childhood sexual abuse in most countries, including the U.S. and Canada, does not reflect the same predominance of boy victims. Virtually all studies have predominance of boy victims. Virtually all studies have found higher sexual abuse rates for girls. Ann Wolbert Burgess &Christine A. Grant, Children Traumatised in Sex Rings, 4 (1988). In contrast, in Japan, it is female minors that are predominantly exploited in pornographic material.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place value on the image of woman or men as having certain sexual response points within me, based on the value I attached to ‘bodies’ from what I was taught since childhood and through media and pornography.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become so obsessed by the female or male form and the sexual erotic value that has been attached to the forms, that I have compounded desire to such an extent within my mind, that I now find rationalizations within my mind as to what stimulates me, even if it means finding the body of a child or animal attractive.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that within sexuality, the importance has been placed on the absolute sexual gratification, which we compound and intensify through fantasies and desires. Therefore I realize that within the mind, as I compound and intensify my sexual fantasies and obsession, I am in fact designing an entity within me as I insist on fueling sexual fantasies based on pictures. Therefore I realize that the mind of the pedophile exists as the compounding of sexual fantasies based on pictures and desires, and that my mind as it exist within sexual possession as the entity I have manifested through my accepted and allowed participation in backchat and giving value to pictures – is no different that the fantasies justified within the mind of the pedophile as he/she justifies how they participate in secret fantasies to achieve the ultimate sexual experience.

Therefore - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify the compounding of sexual energy within my mind until it possesses me within the physical, while not realizing that the mere fact that I admit to having uncontrollable sexual urges that overflow in me while watching porn and masturbating to pictures depicting the most vile sexual energizing pictures –indicates to me that my possession within and as sex energy is no different that that of any other sexual abuser.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that if I continue to place value within shapes, forms and pictures as what is currently done to sexuality and the female or male form – then I am equally responsible for creating a mind reality with regards to sex and sexuality – which then becomes the basis from which all humans justify their mind and how and why they are allowed to abuse the physical within their fantasies and within the physical action of doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condone sexual abuse that I find gratifying within my fantasies while judging the person who watched child porn, not realizing that the dimensions within which the mind gradually designs these obsession works exactly the same for all humans – and that for us to stop the sickness which has become sex as it is designed within and for the human mind – we all have to take self responsibility for our thoughts and the value system we give to sex and the male/female form – within our mind – to purify sexuality so that it becomes a physical expression point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire a specific male form with which to have sex, and in this judgment through which I misalign myself as the mind from the actuality of the physical form – I am within myself giving permission to the abuse that exists due to judgments of form which fuels desires to the extent of fantasies based on the secret mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed through and as the secret mind – where I hold onto all sorts of disturbing images of rape, young flesh, innocent children, animals, objects, gang rape, violation, bestiality, submission, force, power, desire – where I allow myself to masturbate to secret mind images, while judging others who do the same.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place such a value on male/female form through participating in and justifying the existence of models, beauty, youth, fashion, etc – not realizing that I am directly participating in the design of sexual abuse through that - which I support within myself – be it openly or in secret.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that to hide my sexual desires is exactly the same as living them, because by participating in the desires within my mind through the generating of energy which leads to the release as good feelings, or orgasm, has the same result in our reality – where people are now allowing themselves to no longer suppress the desires, but to live them out. Therefore I realize that the key to stopping sexual abuse such as child pornography, starts with me clearing out the clutter within my mind, whereby I use self honesty firstly to reveal to myself what it is that I am really busy doing within my mind to get that energy fix or orgasm. Then I apply self forgiveness to stop this masked energy pattern I call ‘my secret fantasies’ and no longer accept and allow this abuse of the physical form within myself, as I at the same time no longer accept and allow child pornography to be an acceptable form of income as part of the capitalistic system.

I commit myself to stop the fantasies and obsessions within my mind, as I realize the consequence it has within this world as hidden fantasies do not remain hidden, but by the nature of the mind as backchat eventually directs people one and equal into action – as we have come to believe that the mind is real.

I commit myself to develop practical physical touch and communication and mutual appreciation between myself and another, where no fantasies direct who and what I am, but instead sexual expression exists as me expressing my physical form free from judgment, in effective self movement – without abusing another for my enjoyment.

Margarat, H. (2004, August 2). Child pornography: an international perspective. Computer Crime Research Center. Retrieved 21 June 2012 from http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Day 13: International Crime Research - Bi-Polar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 6

This is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-11-international-crime-research_15.html

Self-Forgiveness part 5

Bipolar Disorder and Depression

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use depression as a state of being when I am angry at a situation or myself, as a means of manipulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression as a means of punishing myself when I perceive that I have done something wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this pattern to develop from childhood, where I would go stand in a corner and look saddened by what I have done – which is how parents and teachers train children into depression as a means of self-punishment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing self punishment to exist in a world where all punishment and reward always exists around obtaining what we need within self interest and where we manage to obtain this through the reward system of money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression as a means of withdrawing from myself, when and as I feel that I am overwhelmed by my life or a particular situation in my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use depression as a means of withdrawing myself form other people and situations, due to fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to withdraw from situations due to fear, wherein I have not yet taken self-responsibility for myself in my world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression as a genetic trait – in which I have been told from young that my father had depression and therefore when I started experiencing depression, allowed myself to go into the experience, until it became a complete pattern, to which I added places, names and situations that would be the cause and trigger of depression – instead of realizing that I triggered the depression myself in each situation through the thoughts I allowed and through allowing myself to become the energetic pattern of depression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression to exist within my partners, due to me developing an inherent belief that I was no more than my past and no more than who I had become as depressed person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression to exist as a polar opposite to happiness, which become a cycle that I lived as throughout my entire life – where ‘me’ as the being no longer existence, because after years of diligent practice – all I became and existed as -was this pattern of depression followed by me attempting to achieve ‘happiness’ after which I would spiral back to depression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in depression as a condition, which was prescribed through parents, teachers and doctors and by implication indicated a world and a beingness which we could not change and had to accept.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Bipolar Disorder to be a classification system according to which we categorize those who exists within the mind in states of being that are not functional and which reflect to us the dysfunctional nature of human beings we have come to accept as normal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Depression as an experience where one gives up due to having no solutions to ones life problems, instead of finding solutions to the problems we face.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to give life to myself as a life worth living here on this planet, by standing up and for equality and oneness in all ways for all beings – to stop the inner battles of depression and Bipolar disorder – as a direct indicator of the nature we have become as victims to our own allowances and the evolution of the Mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression to exist in my world, where I would much rather accept the labeling of depression, then to look into why people experience depression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression as a title we give to experiences that we create – by giving power to our minds – instead of learning how to direct the mind, so that depression does not exist.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression to exist, which eventually manifests within the DNA of the being, which is then passed down from generation to generation as an acceptable form of mind possession.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become possessed by my mind through emotions and feelings, until I depress myself into a form less than human = de-human = demon.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to depress the beings with which I share this planet, by allowing an economic system which abuses all life as it has no regard for what is best for all – but instead only serves what is best for those with money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to depress the beings with which I share this planet, until nothing is left and then I blame others and hope for a god to save me, instead of realizing that the only way I will change what is here is by actually changing myself from depressed to life and by changing the world to support me as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression, as a means for people to shut up and accept the current life we exist in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression in which we suppress ourselves through the norms of society, culture and religion to fit into a picture of ourselves as the fear of humanity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing depression as a teenager, where I accepted that the only way to avoid pain as the experience of the mind based on the illusion of pain, was to avoid the experience instead of transcending it, and to give it power by submitting myself further into a form of submission.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach certain words to the experience of depression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘become depressed’ if and when I hear these specific words, to which I have attached certain values, which protect my ego, through the avoidance system of depression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘become depressed’ if I see certain pictures before me, to which I have attached certain values, which are either in alignment or contradiction with my secret desires – after which I will use thinking, feelings and emotions to ‘become depressed’ and to fuel my depression with justifications from within the Mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘become depressed’ when I experience loss or bad luck or disappointment – which are all experiences carved by capitalists to ensure that I remain addicted to the pleasure of seeking enjoyment through obtaining goods.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design depression throughout the generations, where I forced beings into life situations that were not fully supportive simply to appease the go of the individual.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design depression due to generational conflict within beings, as I forced more and more beings to submit to the will of culture, society, religion, politics, sexuality, individuality, free will, capitalism, until we have reached this point where most experience some form of depression automatically as the memories of the cells ignite under stressful circumstances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program depression into my DNA for the future generations each time I submit myself to self manipulation to please others and to remain trapped in a system of politics and capitalism, which I claim I don’t want to change because I have already accepted depression and victimization as human nature.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program depression into my DNA for the future generations, each time I play mind games with myself through backchat where I devaluate myself in the image and likeness of self deception.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program my DNA with Bipolar Disorder, thus ensuring that the future generations are also trapped in the same patterns, simply because I have accepted it so.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use energy within my body, to manipulate myself into moods.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself into moods, as I have accepted myself as less than self responsibility and self honesty within doing what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing chemical imbalances to exist within the brain, as a system of pre-design which inflicts onto the human a life subject to a design which neither the scientist or religious people are able to direct.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use abdicate self change to a god, while at the same time not questioning this god why he designed a mind that has depression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame a god for giving me depression, instead of realizing that all aspects of the human mind and human design is here for me to understand, unless I use money and control as an excuse to not investigate the physical and how the human is designed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the veil of deception which exist as science to exist as the apparent reason why we cannot fully support people with depression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing science to exist as the front from which capitalists keep people sick so that money is made from the medical industry.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing science to withhold research necessary for us to understand the design of the physical and for me to allow money to be the reason behind why information is withheld about the human physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worship science, while admittedly they are unable to fully understand the pre-programmed design of the human, to understand all cases of depression and to self honestly highlight how a being participates in depression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worship science as an authority on depression, while admitted scientist and psychologists do not fully understand how a person participates and experiences depression because they self honestly do not want to admit how the money system for example affects people and how human feelings, emotions and thoughts affect us.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Day 12: International Crime Research – Bipolar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 5

This is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-11-international-crime-research_13.html

Self-Forgiveness part 4:

Bipolar Disorder and Hyperactivity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing backchat thoughts around excitement as a trigger point, through which I access and highten the energy within myself, to allow myself for a moment to experience greater levels of energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use hyper-activity as a means to encourage myself to move myself into action, to complete a task based around fear of survival – instead of moving myself without fears as backchat directing my every step.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the energy within myself to compound around procrastination, which then comes to a point days or weeks later where the compounded energy around guilt and regret manifests as the energy of hyper-activity, after which I crash back into the old pattern of procrastination, not caring and laziness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Hyperactivity as the original design to begin within children where we use energy to hype the child into a state of hyperactivity by pushing them through trigger words linked to likes versus dislikes and fear – to become exited and hyperactive, instead of teaching our children to live practically in the physical, moving oneself here as the breath, treating all situations and places and people as equal, not valuing one situation or face more than another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the adult to develop this pattern of hyperactivity within children by exiting them through words, pictures and behaviorisms and through this teaching the child to attach certain values to certain things in our world, which teaches the child that it is ok to ignore, disregard or abuse other things/people, because it does not give the same energetic feeling.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the above pattern to develop in our children, which has developed the consumer-child, as they learn to immediately attach values to everything they come across and to react energetically within judgment to people and things – while they consume the energy they experience from participating in consumerism – eventually requiring more and more to experience more energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the above pattern to exist in our children as we turn all things on this planet into consumer products for the energy experience we all desire as ‘heightened energy or states of hyper-activity – through which we have learnt to completely disregard what we have done and become and to place everything only according to brackets of energy consumption within ourselves, instead of its equal and one value as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing children to become addicted to energy through which they then become hyperactive, as the ‘chemical substance’ that is used to control the consumer market into greater levels of addiction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program the physical from childhood into chemical reactions, designed around pleasing others in an attempt to appease my mind, which from childhood was taught that in order for me to accept myself, others have to accept me – therefore within myself I developed Bipolar Disorder as I rush and push myself through backchat as I worry if ‘others like me.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing children and adults to be brainwashed that food is good for you if it is sold in the shops and advertised on tv, with no investigation of the real effects that food sources have on the physical and how it directly compounds within the beings to eventually rewrite the beings into a chemically induced system that responds to words and pictures linked to the energy rush experience – thus making it easier for corporations to manipulate people through images and words linked to the energy experiences – previous programmed into the being from childhood.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of ‘hyperactivity’ within me as a state into which I possess myself when I try and manipulate myself into feeling ‘good’ about doing something, and to avoid the negatively associated feeling with what I am doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing scientists to avoid the real issues behind why adults and children become hyperactive, and instead labeling the person, describing methods to deal with the symptoms and medication – while accumulating a nation of energy addicted beings, who will abuse all life on this planet, as we are currently doing and have always done for self interest and greed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not directly see what is happening to our children as they go through experiences of hyperactivity and instead of labeling it as ‘normal childhood phases’ to actually investigate the source and origin of the child’s behavior due to energy addictions and food, to find solutions to what we are doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage hyperactivity in children through encouraging such energetic and sugar induced behavior, because I believe that hyperactivity is actually me encouraging and allowing my child to ‘live fully and express themselves’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I believe that to encourage my child to express themselves fully, regardless of which behaviors they are copying or acting out and what the real design is behind how the child is behaving – allows me to feel more alive if I see a child running around and laughing, playing, expressing – which means that even if the child’s behavior goes into hyperactivity I still feel that the child is the manifestation of Life, which I have somehow lost and am now living through the child.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to diminish within myself and within my expression, due to me believing that adults must express themselves a certain way – thus forcing life as a fake behavior of movements, and sounds and ideas into my children, who then become addicted to energy as I watch in appreciation of what they are apparently living ‘for me’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I believe that children are apparently free and without worry – which means that children can get away with any form of expression, regardless of the fact that most children these days are developing ADD and ADHD and other behavioral problems – which is directly showing me that how I am designing the expression of the child – has become systematized and in the end manifests in some children as dysfunctions – which then later manifests as adults who abuse themselves and life as they live according to the designs of what the parents were really thinking when they educated the child and encouraged the child in its expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I use memories of my past experiences where I either attached good values to my experiences or negative values – either way I am filtering through to my child, my own fears, and judgments about life and expression – thus turning my child into a copy of myself as those aspects of myself that I am actually regretting, fearing, wanting or the hidden parts of myself which I have denied, but which manifest within my child as their DNA. Therefore the child in most cases manifests as a ‘little demon’ because it exists as the information I have not effectively processed within myself or taken responsibility for but instead ‘suppressed’ within my mind – which now exists as the core information from which the child is designed – leaving the child unable to understand or even direct their experience – because they are not yet aware of how they are designed as the DNA of the parents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage hyperactivity in children, because as an adult I allow my child to manifest in DNA as a copy of the aspects of myself that I did not effectively direct within what is best for all – and instead of taking self responsibility for myself using the child as a mirror – to effectively support myself and the child equally – I run and hide behind more adult deceptions while professing to the child that he/she ‘must not do what I do’, thus teaching the child that inner conflict is acceptable to fear and hide from self responsibility – thus creating Bipolar disorder within the child as I ‘train’ him/her to avoid certain experiences of the mind by shifting yourself in the mind to more pleasant ‘happy/fulfilling’ experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing science to exist behind a veil of deception, where they claim to be those who ‘understand how the mind works’ yet they cannot directly speak the truth of what we are doing to the children and ourselves.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing scientists to lie and deceive by lying about the causes of mental illness, because what they say is done in such a way, to protect the system and to protect capitalism, which I have realized, simply by being self honest in my observation, but allow in anyway because I protect capitalism as well, do to a fear of death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept what scientists say as they protect Capitalism, because I trust the Scientists and what they say as the ‘authority’ of how people function, without standing equal and one to who they are – as people stuck in the same fear of survival as I am – thus giving myself the opportunity to stop participating in the lie – and to see directly through what is being allowed – to speak up and stand as the solution and the voice to the solution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Hyperactivity to exist as the manifestation of the design of myself as I have taken ‘activities’ – which are the basic practical points that require direction in our world for us to live – and sped them up to become more and faster – thus Hyper – so that more deeds can be performed each day by the slaves within capitalism to make sure that we get money for our actions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop and design Bipolar disorder through generations of programming these behaviors into and as the mind as a life application which first exists as the personality of the being and then becomes the DNA of the being, to be passed down to the future generations, through mother and father together.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop and design Bipolar disorder through generations of programming these behaviors into and as the mind, due to my allowing the Fear of Self, and Fear of Survival, and to allow thought based patterns around which I go from seeking the experiences of elated moods and expansion to avoid the negative emotions and experiences – which becomes an energetic mind pattern which drives me through fear into hyper-activities, where I am always living according to this cycle.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop and design Bipolar disorder through generations of programming these behaviors into and as the mind – through which I have participated in the points mentioned above which make up and construct my mind in its entirety, which then gets called my personality – which is then accepted by myself as it is accepted by other people – simply because ‘it is human nature’ or ‘how god made me’ – which is how we as humanity allow ourselves to become dysfunctional and how over the generations we have designed and manifested Bipolar Disorder due to the previous generations and how we construct ours minds into a Pre-Programmed Design.