Day 26: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 10

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-25-international-crime-research.html



Please read the following Blog with regards to the Development of the Secret Mind 

“…the Secret MIND is Creating the Main Character that Creates this Damaged World, as the Secret Mind is Created By Damaged Memories that Converged in a Hidden Dimension as Files creating Life as We Live it as the character of this World.”

Self-Forgiveness on:

(taken from Day 25 – Child pornography Part 9)

It was a sudden interest in the images that developed due to a response from my body, which was then fueled by my mind through justifications as to why these images are enticing. From there I experienced a combination of initial mistrust towards my own experience, but this did not last long as the energy of shame and guilt towards my own sexual reaction, turned to a new thought which surfaced where I simply knew that I liked it. Somewhere from within me, from within my mind I became more and more comfortable with seeing images of naked children, having thoughts about their flesh which I would normally have about woman and then empowering my mind through further thoughts which made me feel alive with energy, as I was pulled between morality and sexual pleasure. I identified within myself – that a part of me was seeing the child’s body symbolically – as if seeing the shape of their bodies and the innocence they represented, triggered an interest within me, which was channeled by me into sexual pleasure. The other part of me concocted images and combined them with irrational thoughts, which led me time and time again after that to seek the same experience. At times especially in the beginning I would experience shame after I masturbated, however if I then for a few days would stop masturbating to child pornography and attempt to use adult porn, then I would almost feel numb during the whole experience and once I would return to the images of naked children, it felt as if my body became ablaze with sexual energy. At times I would rationalize this to myself as ‘well it is happening to me therefore it must be a natural part of myself that requires expression’ or ‘maybe it is not about the child but about how the child represents the confined placed by society on sexuality – therefore I am responding to an image which is condemned by society, through which I may experience the ultimate release.’



After a few years of using basic imagery only occasionally – only enough for me to rationalize as acceptable and not ‘out of my control’ – I started thinking about whether different images contained different experiences. I wanted to understand more and see if I could open myself up more. I found a website after a very specific search and came across a link to a website where the owner would give out links to images depending on your level of involvement with the website. Obviously as a beginner I had to start somewhere – so I decided to push ahead and after a few months I received anonymous links to images that were very different to what I was use to. As I watched these pictures I allowed myself to feel what these pictures did to me. In the end I distinguished between specific images to which I had specific experiences and from this my fascination focused itself ultimately to the acquiring of specific footage and imagery that would stimulate me. I found my mind reacting to the images with short burst – which at times were unidentifiable as the thoughts moved so fast. All that I would experience were short sentences, followed by physical sensations throughout my body, and if I kept flicking through the images, I could build the physical reactions until I would have my orgasm. Something inside of me always drove my reactions to these images and therefore the game became about knowing which pictures meant what to me as I had come to know what sensations or thoughts triggered my responses to the images…”

The Secret Mind and Damaged Files.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge my hidden memories within my secret mind – where from childhood I placed all pictures, values, judgments and ideas pertaining to myself, others and my environment.



I commit myself walk in each moment as the breath, as my physical body, only considering what would be and is best for all in each moment, therefore eventually equalizing myself as what is best for all – as I no longer have to tie loop and live out the future as the past memories where I charged moments with values based on secret desires, hopes and fears.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design a secret mind, which allows for the development of characters, within which I will live out my life as if these characters are real.



I commit myself to stop participating in the design of trying to protect myself from the future and in doing this – I also realize that for all to stop designing the future which is an attempt for all to avoid fear and death – in which we create the fear and death as we cycle through the creation of ourselves – I have to create a world where all can live free from fear, instead of fighting the mind for eternity - where we create spirituality as means to quieten the mind –while still forcing beings into life situations generating fear and mistrust.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of a mind which exists in separation from the physical, as it’s purpose is to design characters for me to access, throughout my life, in which I get to avoid self responsibility by shifting dimensions into characters – so that I as ‘individual’ can seek happiness and avoid discomfort in life. 

I commit myself to learn and share how to direct myself in this physical reality and by doing so finding ways of working with the physical to sustain life here in the physical, without harming – so that we may clear the files and the systems through which we create these files, through which we created this damaged reality.



I commit myself to see, realize and understand what it would mean to walk as self responsibility – so that I no longer accept and allow mind systems and mind files to exist in hidden parts, which serves no other purpose but to create characters that contribute to the damage of life as ourselves.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design the mind as a holding place for memories – from which I design characters for myself to access throughout my life, so that I never have to walk one and equal to what is really happening in this physical reality – and where I am able at all times to avoid conflict, pain and abuse I inflict towards others or that is inflicted towards me -to rather shift into another character that exists as the memories which take me into character – to best deal with the situation I am faced with.

This character to deal with the situation I am faced with, purely exists for the survival of myself as a mind system – therefore who I have become now is not what is best for all as myself – but a memory bank of information designed to protect the mind.

I commit myself to see, realize, understand and share how we damage this reality through the hidden files that we store as memories in the mind – which consists of parts of information which have certain values – which cause us to blindly follow the information as it surfaces in moments called characteristics..



The secret mind of each is eventually created through all the Damaged Memories that Converge in a Hidden Dimension as Files creating Life as We Live it as the character of this World.



Therefore



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing damaged memories into hidden dimensions as files – through which I created me as pedophile –directed into and as the actions of abusing a child due to the energy charges I have given memories and the information and symbols they contain as the value system that each moment as picture or word is laden with.



I commit myself to defuse these energy charges through breathing and self forgiveness – until I exist as my physical body, breathing here, living – where I am actually here – and not stuck in my mind as repeating memories creating more memories trapping me further and further into dimensions of the mind.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as pedophile to place pictures from my youth into my secret mind based on the damaged moments I experiences, as I connected certain values of how I believed things should be, based on previous memories to the current moment and when my expectations were not met – the moment was damaged in that I judged the moment and placed the event into a file such as disgusting, avoid, shameful, embarrassing etc.



I commit myself to stop creating damaging moments, in which I allow abuse as myself towards myself and others which then programs the memories of those involved – until they too one day abuse as they become and accept the pattern, as they learn that apparently life is about trying to avoid pain and give oneself happiness at whatever cost – which in the current system always has a cost for another – as all are trapped in the same cycles of have/have not, with/ without – as capitalism and the principles of human greed dictates it so.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create files in my secret mind where these damaged memories were placed, simply due to the fact that all around me parents were acting out their secret mind damaged files with no self responsibility or solution on how to solve the world problems – which is everybody living our damaged files – which then becomes society as the living of damaged files.



I commit myself to stand as example to the children of speaking and living in ways that are self responsible and do not harm myself or others – where files of memories are created, in which the child grows up repeating the sins of the fathers and allowing themselves to merely exist as memories instead of here in their physical bodies – due to the example that is set.


Artwork by: Joe Kou
http://www.facebook.com/joekou

Day 7: South African Crime Research - The Voice of the Victim

The Victim Impact statement

The Victim Impact statement is used within South African law, as a written document by a victim, whom is the person who suffered personal harm (physical, psychological, social and financial) as a direct result of an offense (The South African Law Commission 2002:68). 

A victim impact statement differs from the general victim testimony in court, as it allows the victim to ‘personalize the crime’ and to ‘express their anguish, pain and devastation caused to them, so that the consequences of the crime may be understood by all involved in the law proceedings.

A criminologist compiles the victim impact statement to contribute towards a ‘more balanced view’ between the various components such as the seriousness of the offense, the physical harm, psychological harm, evidence provided, testimonies. Therefore the purpose of the victim impact statement is for those involved in the law proceedings to get a glimpse into the actual experience of the victim, as a means of grasping the seriousness of the crime on the life of a victim. (Criminology and Security Science 2012: 77 – 85) 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of crime within my world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing no real solutions to be found for the existence of crime and to instead have to manipulate the jurors and judges through emotions and feelings to find it within them to relate to the victim and punish the perpetrator, without any clear understanding of how and why crime exists.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of victim impact statements, instead of getting to the direct cause of why people commit crimes and to address the issue directly, equally for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the use of inner conflict within beings to fuel the current situation within the world based on anger and fear towards each other.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stand firstly for the end of all crime, by ending all crimes against life, as that which I have already manifested as the world systems, which by definition abuses and separates and forces people into abusive lives, which then has the outflow and consequence of further abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing ignorance to exist within me as an idea and opinion that bad people commit crime and should be punished.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the real evil that exists in this world are those who stand by and enjoy the fruits of the abuse that is done towards the humans, animals and planet earth whom are in positions and whom have no say and have no choice but to survive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the capitalistic system, on which we have built this deceitful acceptance of abusing beings on this planet for the profit and greed of a minority while the rest of us as the elite who benefit from capitalist, sit back and pretend ignorance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing money to be the driving force behind everything I do on this planet, as the driving force of me as survival.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing money to be my life and that which motivates me, instead of me being motivated to live life and to see life equally being lived by all, with no fear and hatred and greed being the driving force of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing greed to exist in this world and to use that as an excuse for why we can force billions of beings into survival daily where most do not have sufficient needs met, forcing many into survival based abusive practices to feed themselves and their families.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the period of waiting to see what happens, where the end result is people having to write out emotional letters placing themselves as further victims within the system, instead of priority being given to the welfare of each.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore the effect that our current world system has on the beings that inhabit this planet, and instead of acting to solve the problems, to postpone the inevitable, waiting generation after generation for suffering to compound until it is too late.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the victim, the one that waits for somebody else to change my world, to change me and to stand up for the life within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the victim, because growing up I believed I was nothing and that some god or man would come and take care of me, through which I abdicated my self-responsibility and my self-will – to stand before the system dependent and without a voice, accepting life without question.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the perpetrator – the one that wants to take from others, without considering and applying myself here within practical self-responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of the perpetrator within me, the hiding and sulking and blaming others for the decisions I have made in my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become the judge and jury who judge others for their actions, without considering my part in this reality and that which I have directly and tacitly agreed to by accepting out current reality as it is.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the perpetrator – the one that wants to take from others, without considering and applying myself here within practical self-responsibility.

I commit myself within equality to stop the abuse that I allow in my world in the name of greed and self-interest.

I commit myself through writing to reveal that within my world, within myself which does not serve life on this planet.

I commit myself to reveal to myself the practices and ideologies that are based on lies and deception.

I commit myself to stop emotionally feeding off the suffering of others in the name of self-entertainment.

I commit myself to re-write myself as the living word into a being that can be trusted and who will stand for all life, and to serve life as what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop the crimes against life that I have come to accept as myself – where I live in a world where starvation and abuse is acceptable because we make money from it.

I commit myself to find ways to stop any and all forms of abuse and to not ‘beat around the bush’ about why crime exist, but to directly see and communicate the lies we have come to accept as our society, for all to see and hear.

I commit myself to stop the genocide of life, before it is too late and there is nothing left of us but our ugly nasty entity minds that devour and consume everything round us.

I commit myself to stop participating in the rotten child syndrome, through which we feed of the spoils of the earth, watching countless beings suffer and crying for mercy once it is too late.

I commit myself to see, hear and understand what it is that I am required to do to bring about a dignified life for all.

I commit myself to not accept the existence of crime as normal and to not accept any justification for abuse and crime, as no reason could possibly exist for us to abuse each other, this planet and nature.

I commit myself to stop participating in the energy reactions of listing to someone’s crime story in which I allow my curiosity to have reactions direct me to maintain my world of abuse and torture where I will deliberately turn a blind eye to what is happening in my world because it stimulates my mind.

I commit myself to bring about a world system that is best for all, so that all may have their basics needs met and have equal opportunity to love and express here in dignity and in full expression of life as the physical.

I commit myself to bring about a new economic system that will benefit all who live on this planet and to transform my old ways of living and being as the crime against life into something new – which will be the living manifestation of what is best for all.

Day 5: South African Crime Research - Radical changes made to rape laws

The University of South Africa’s Criminology and Security Sciences Study guide (2012) – refers to a new legislation that will change how rape cases are prosecuted in South Africa. Through changes to the rape laws, the following factors will help prevent secondary victimization within rape cases:

1.       The rape victim’s sexual history may no longer be taken into account, which will prevent the victim from being seen in a prejudiced light.

2.       The fact that the victim had a promiscuous sexual history does not mean that the perpetrator is entitles to rape her.

3.       An apparent lack of physical injury may no longer be used as an excuse for the offender or as a sign that the victim was not in fact injured (not fighting might have saved her life). 

4.       The fact that there was a relationship between the rapist and the victim does not excuse the rape or imply that she consented to the act.

5.       The bill also counteracts duplication and delays, since victims will not have to repeat their testimony (secondary victimization).

6.       The bill seeks to expediate the finalization of serious criminal cases, especially those of a violent nature, to punish the perpetrator of serious offenses appropriately and to prevent the secondary victimization of complainants.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing rape to exist in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing rape to exist in this world due to the value that has been given to sex and pictures.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give value to sex and masturbation to such an extent that I will sometimes be overwhelmed by the energy until it directs me into action, just like the energy of a rapist that is moved and possessed by energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the justification of ‘but sex and masturbation is nothing like raping someone’ to exist within my mind, through which I will secretly continue fantasizing over pictures and other beings, hoping to have sexual relations with them and with the people in porn movies until the entity I create possesses me and directs me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of porn movies, due to my inability to effectively express myself here in my physical body with another physical body, without requiring stimulus and the hidden meanings within my secret mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to turn sex into something disgusting based on dominance and the energy of fear, repulsion, erotica, arousal, through which I have tacitly agreed to the existence of the energy of the rapist within my mind and within society.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear sexually as the expression of myself, to such an extent that I have to turn sex into a perversion, through which I have agreed to all the countless forms of sexual abuse that is happening in the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the idea that if a woman was dressed provocatively, she deserved to be raped.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing any pictures and ideas in my mind linked to rape, which causes and has caused me to get sexually aroused.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait for governments to ‘do something about rape’ instead of me taking direct self-responsibility for rape in this world as parts of it exists within me as my mind, as pictures linked to desires.

I commit myself to stopping any and all forms of sexual abuse within myself towards myself and towards another

I commit myself to stopping the apparent need for governments to stop abuse in my world, by observing myself within who I have become to see how I am living out the designs of abuse within myself.

I commit myself to stopping sexual fantasies and secret mind desires – and to learn to effectively direct myself here in my physical body

I commit myself to self-honest self-expression within sex and to stop any form of sexual abuse within my relationship/agreement.

I commit myself to develop effective communication within myself about what I am experiencing and to direct my experiences in the breath, through self-honesty and common sense, to stop the energy entity build ups, which lead to eventual abuse in my life and this world, as what others will also come to accept as ‘sex’.

I commit myself to stop any and all forms of sexual abuse through the media and the acceptance of sexuality as it currently exists today.

I commit myself in stopping patterns of sexuality in which I exist that are not what is best for all.