Showing posts with label alcohol. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alcohol. Show all posts

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Day 105: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 9



This blog is a continuation from:


Day 96: International Crime Research: Drug use Part 1

Day 97: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 2

Day 99: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 3

Day 100: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 4

Day 101: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 5

Day 102: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 6

Day 103: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 7

Day 104: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 8



Reaction Dimension of the drug user within Social-situations:

"Reaction Dimension:
Here one will Identify the reactions of emotions and feelings that ‘substantiate / animate’ the Character/Personality; what reactions of emotions and feelings, essentially did one utilize to manipulate oneself with, to fall back into the Mind/Personality instead of standing here with self in stability as Breath. Within this, we’ll use, as Personalities, specific emotions and feelings to activate specific behavioural patterns/habits to in/as this process validate why/how it is that we are a Personality and so in this attempt/try to make a Personality “more real”. Essentially saying “well, I am experiencing this and my behaviour is like that and this is who I am and so I cannot change” – when, all the while, we’re actively, within the Mind participating in creating the experiences and behaviour from the thoughts, to the imagination, to the internal conversations/backchat – sabotaging and compromising ourselves deliberately in the Mind to manifest/validate/materialize our wants, needs and desires, rather than our responsibility to ourselves, our physicals and our lives in this World.
So, to identify the Reaction Dimension is to have a look at what emotions/feelings manifested within one’s Mind in the Physical within and during the Personality Possession."
Source: http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/09/character-dimensions-introduction-day.html



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within perpetual cycles of emotion and feeling polarities, where I exist from day to day to live for the positive feeling experience such as joy, and to avoid the negative emotions such as sadness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to grow up believing in the CONcept that who we are - are our emotions, feelings and thoughts -

within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realising and understanding for myself throughout my life, from observing my experiences, that these cycles of energetic experiences are truly not supportive of me as they by nture are uncomfortable, lead to abusive self practises and contain the being within continual struggles and depression/angst.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that emotions/feelings - once I for a moment stop participating in them, do not change me as what remains when those 'cycles' end is me consistent here as a living, breathing expressive being -

then I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize and see the common sense that surely it is not a system of the mind that indeed supports me, but only exists as a constant battle, a and is system that requires my understanding and directing, instead of blindly following, where I eventually accept a life around who I am as my thoughts, feelings and emotions, instead of living self responsibility in self honesty as what is best for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop my personality from childhood into adulthood, around my emotions and feelings, whereby I live in an attempt to alleviate the discomfort I experience from allowing my own emotional patterns such as jealousy, anger, conflicted and the 'polarities' between which these points swing - which we call the seeking of the pleasures of life - which would exist as the polarity struggles between feelings and emotions such as: joy/sadness, hope/hopelessness, fear/brave, have/have not, beauty/ugly, joyful/depressed etc.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop my personalities in life according to winning people over with my more positive, pleasant feelings and representations of thoughts around me being a good, pleasant, fun person, instead of realising that I am not really living, I am merely learning how to manipulate my environment and those around me, to appear more pleasant and to fit into social groups - which again only exist so that I do not have to face my fear of being rejected and the fear of fear itself.

therefore,

when I realised that I am unable to maintain or avoid these emotional and feeling reactive patterns, I then attempt to avoid or accentuate these traits by using drugs, which allow me to step away from my usual personally traits - which are the 'real me' as y mind, my 'consciousness', into different characters and personalities which I have already imagined within my mind would be 'cool', 'special' and unique' and which would allow me to be accepted by the peer groups I wish to belong to.

therefore,

I realise and forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in this program I have given permission to on my behalf, where I insert commands that are feelings, emotions and personality designs that act in accordance with my fear of being rejected by others,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blindly follow my personality designs which automatically have now used internal conversations of 'not being good enough' to direct me to the apparent 'choice' to use drugs as a solution to the conflicts I experience while in the presence of others - not realising that there is obviously a problem with either myself and the fake reality in my mind that I give more power to over the real physical reality - or that there is a problem with the social reality I participate in - either way the fact that I choose to use a drug to stand in for me as I fear these 'realities' - which are all externalisation's of me as my mind - indicates that I will abuse my physical body and he outcome my decisions have on the physical reality - to supersede 'fakeness' over what is real for my apparent 'experiences' of 'joy', 'happiness' and pleasure'. In this I have not seen and realised that these concepts of joy and happiness and specific to each person - as you will find that each human has created their own mental picture of what it would mean for us to be 'fulfilled' and 'happy' where we will manipulate the physical reality to achieve this experience of internal happiness. Using drugs is an example of where we will manipulate the physical body into a fake chemical experience of 'joy', 'happiness' and 'fulfilment'. Therefore it brings one back to the understanding that we have separated ourselves from our physical bodies as a parasite of the mind and from our physical reality - just to have 'experiences' within the mind. The physical pays the dearest price for the humans to exist in happiness bubbles in the mind...

Behavioural Dimension to continue...



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Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Day 99: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 3


This blog continues from:

Day 97: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 2 
The causes are those aspects of our current reality that no person, that I have met thus far really, actually wants to face or even change. In the documentary they also speak about this point quite clearly - where most people understand that to go against the systems that cause the suffering and discomfort which are the real reasons behind why we do what we do such as the use of drugs, and the obsession with entertainment, celebrities and the self image created through the media - to go against these 'causes' could cost you your comforts in Life and your health and safety. We are constantly bombarded with images of America etc bombing countries that dared go against the ultimate force - and we constantly see CNN-type images of protester beings shot, set on fure etc - and how their choice of 'standing' mostly costs them their lives - and within the quantum Mind (how the mind really functions at a quantum level) we process and decide to not 'fuck' with these system that could discriminate and hurt us if we stepped out of line. Each person just wants to actually live a nice, fun live and therefore the idea for most of giving that up to be a revolutionary or an activist, seems like... hard work and potential pain and suffering. So, why bother - it is not my generation that will see the end of this debacle we see unfolding before us.

The causes behind drug use:

As discussed in part 1 and 2, the reasons given for drug use, which have become globally acceptable, are always the acceptable sounding reasons, which leave all of humanity, either stunned in hopelessness as we watch how people use chemicals to forget about their life experiences, or a sense of awe or respect that this individual has found some freedom to express him/herself within life by using the drug to party or seek spiritual enlightenment. It has become almost a taboo topic, to question drug use, as it is now seen as a comfort zone for those who get trappled by the system we have created or an outlet, for those brave enough to insert a chemical into their bodies. It is the era of 'coolnes' to step beyond human fears and use substances to improve ones experience.

The same goes for alcohol use, governments and corporation make tons of money of the alcohol industry therefore even though alcohol is responsible for countless deaths a year, no government is willing to place a ban on alcohol as this is the prerogative of capitalists to make money - no matter what. The public consensus is that alcohol provides any person with a bit of money in the wallet with a weekend escape - a way to feel better about one's life, even though your life is not really better - so humanity - as the strange beings we have accepted ourselves to be - have all agreed that instead of sorting out our reality - so that our children dont have to gro up and become drug addicts - we rather leave things as they are, under the false hope that 'one-day' things will go better'. Shame - generation after generation humans are born into the same lives - where we all at some point or another experience emotional, physical or financial turmoil to the point where most adults are addicted to some form of substance reliance - and yet - we still cling onto the hope that miraculously somehow it will get better for us - like living in a lottery where one day things will change for me. The fact that there are billions of other 'mes' also hoping for the same thing and also therefore standing the same minuscule chance of having their lives turn around - means that the chance of 'me' really having a better live is really small. We all stare at pictures of celebrities and hope that we will one day be that person - but we wont you see - the celebrities and elites are specifically in those roles only because they are the minority which exist in positions within society where they have that one small thing no-one else has - which is the whole reason why the polarity of rich/poor exists.

Nobody wants to see this polarity system we have come to call life - and the harm that it really causes. We are constantly in internal battles fighting with ourselves and others to compete with and win the spot of celebrity and elitist - we do not see that human life on this planet - has become a race to have more money than others - with the comparison and motivation point being those who live in absolute poverty and die each day in fear and discomfort. According to the laws of Capitalism for example which has become the law of human life - to succeed and to prosper as a human, you have to gain and you have to 'better yourself' as in 'have more than others'. Even spirituality - has become an energy equivalent of the 'richness' of spirit, a race throughout ones life to be better than other souls and to appear better to ones adversaries because one has apparently obtained some higher consciousness or ability. This is all the game of money and capitalistic-energy exchange where either one has devoted ones life to obtaining more money than others - which results in the comforts one would call 'a heavenly/blissful existence' - or one then would seek out the more spiritual-energetic experience - where one claims to devote ones life, not to monetary riches, but to the riches of character and of the soul - all of it make believe concepts conjured up through Capitalists to sell products through the media to the wanting human, using feelings and emotions and ideas of happiness to lure all humans through our greatest desires. Once you have been caught on the hook of Capitalism, which if you dare to be self honesty you will see, as I have - that there are millions and millions of various types of hooks one would become enchanted with - just like the fish in the water who look through the murkiness, to identify their one pretty picture, the shape or colour of the bait that they have been programmed to respond to and in a moment the fish changes into the prey - the one that will swim towards the bait, wishing for that morsel - fearing that its live could be in danger if this is a trap - but non the less being compelled by a hunger in that moment for that specific type of bait.


The human Capitalistic drive is and has always been the same - triggering human responses through our base design of addictions to feelings, emotions and experiences that just like a drug - brings us closer to 'energy-happiness' - therefore from our youth we are taught that happiness has its price and that happiness is connected to how one lives and how you design your life within this world, while competing with others and the only way to have what others do not have, allowing one to feel happy, is to outshine other humans by buying ones 'betterness' in the form of whichever brand or item would give one the experience of happiness/status. These concepts we live by as consumers, have really become the pinacle and cornerstone of human existence - to live for and as consumers and through this to purchase our lifestyles which contains numerous items and experiences which give us pleasure and the feeling of fulfilment. Even something as simplistic as buying the next best big screen tv - more often than not has very little to do with any practical consideration about the requirement of a 'big screen tv' - it has to do with an energetic charge linked to the masturbation system of the mind - whereby after purchasing ones new exuberant item, we experience a sense or relieve and sense of completion and happiness at having this newest, 'bestest' item which others do not have - thus giving one the false experience of gratitude to life and within ones life - but who and to what are we really grateful for?

We live to survive in varying degrees - from day to day hand to mouth survival - to the survival of the fittest humans with the competing life styles - either way in itself, this 'survival' drive of the human - has also become our worst enemy one could say - and this we are seeing in the reality of how many people are really addicted to substances that allow them to suppress, forget and hide how they really experience themselves - be it the rich, the poor, the successful business man/woman, the emotional teenager or the happy spiritual types - the question is what are the causes behind why a society that proclaims to 'love life' are escalating in the use and abuse of drugs?

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Day 97: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 2



This blog is a continuation from:

Day 96: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use



The next part of the Documentary focusses on the drug users, who get together, take a drug like ecstasy, and allow themselves to spend an evening of conversation, and allowing themselves to experience closeness and a new found comfort with those on their company and with themselves. This type of drug use, allows the user to develop self intimacy and self expression, where the drug allows them to let go of fear and inhibitions and be more open and expressive. Here one would classify drug use within the same context's of using it to either heighten or suppress experiences for the user, allowing one to step out of one Mind-Personality suit, so to speak - to for a few hours experience that which you are not usually able to give to yourself.

Obviously, there are various reasons why people take drugs - the main contexts that one is able to see stepping forth though, is that the drug connects to the users mind and changes, suppresses or heightens certain mental aspects for the person on their behalf, this obviously depends on the chemical compound i.e. the purpose of the drug.

Each drug user will give a reason for using the drug, and that reason is how the person defend their use of drug. If one then look behind the reason, which is usually the beautiful things like 'expression' spirituality and heightened levels of consciousness' you will see the cause behind why people use drugs. The causes are for example depression, anxiety, Fear, wanting to forget, Pain, Worries, Suppression of Emotions such as Anger, Jealousy, to alleviate the discomfort around poverty and lack of money to purchase what others have etc..




The drug user and the drug culture will always stop at the Reason given for using drugs, and for most the trigger points of using specific words like spiritual enlightenment or opening oneself up to having a good time - is the universal triggers within each, to continue allowing and accepting these Chemical-Mind Relationships -because within most human beings a desire exists to be able to escape their mundane experience in Life, and to have the happy, joyous experience. However, by providing a Chemical crux from which people can skip ahead to the desired outcome, nobody really wants to look at the actual causes.

Therefore as a society, we have come to accept the causes of suffering and discomfort - as part of 'Life' and therefore we have all fallen into the marketing trap of consumerism of -buying the apparent solution to the discomfort. However, as any person is able to see , it is not the solution to the problems, for example if human beings have over the last 60 years become increasing addicted to the experience of 'Energy; existent within and as polarities of happy and sad - then this in itself shows how we will accept life situations where people endure sadness/abuse in life, and that the cure is to seek happiness. Nobody has ever changed the value systems of our Society so that these Polarity systems no longer have to exist. Consumerism functions according to these Human-Polarity Systems, therefore those who study how the Human Mind functions, will not reveal that they understand the problem and that there are solutions to these Self-Abuse Systems - instead - because everyone is dependent on an income, we all Lie to the consumer, selling them the product which is always about accepting hardships/pain/suffering and then participating in whichever drug like consumerism, entertainment, drugs, sex etc until the 'bad experience goes away'.

So if one were to peal the layer of any drug habit one will go one step back to the reason given, then if one take a step back from that you will see the actual cause. This cause, if directed effectively within our society would mean the end of this entire Abuse pattern with it's 'cause, reason and solution'. However the human as a consumer of Energy is already addicted to the energy experiences which are used by corporations to ensure our daily consistent participation in the Capitalistic system. Even if it is something as strange as forcing somebody to find money somehow to be able to feed your physical body after somebody else claimed ownership of the natural resources given to all by the physical by the physical. Under the laws and values of Capitalism, we have designed these very strange laws and rules, such as 'no health care, then you can suffer and die' - and yet everyone has accepted it because those who direct and manufacture these strange laws do so according to the Human Mind Systems of Energy Addiction - and that is why the populous follow whatever the governments and law makers and corporations throw at us, because they are always triggering our sense of survival within our Energy Dependent Mind Consciousness Systems.


I watched a fascinating documentary today called: "Obey' - which gives an effective overview of where we are at on the world, who directs what and where are we headed. I suggest watch it.

So getting back to drugs and the causes of drug use, no matter what the 'drug' is. If one look back for example at the two scenarios I extracted from the documentary, you will see that the main concepts around drugs use - the 'prettifying' of why people use drugs are always words like 'Love', 'enlightenment' 'enjoyment', 'bliss', heightened consciousness', the universe, 'oneness', 'letting go', cleansing', 'pleasure', 'comfort', 'courage' etc. Just like the description/explanation in the documentary 'Obey' the actual causes behind why any human entertains and distracts themselves within these fake realities, is really to cope with Life as we have come to accept it. Behind the pretty concepts like Oneness and Love, really exists boredom, fear, anger, jealousy, loneliness, fear of survival, etc. Mostly it allows the being to quieten their Mind, to be able to go into a Mind Reality where all is well, in fact there it looks like the universe and you get to travel amongst the stars and visit parallel universes and you gain access to knowledge not previous known etc.... an interesting journey for the participant who is drawn away from the conscious awareness of THIS physical reality into a Alternate Mind-Reality that amazes the Human, drawing them back, time and time again to the next drug experience. The Mind is very good at providing symbols, pictures, information and experiences with the guidance of course of the these Mind-altering chemical.

The causes are those aspects of our current reality that no person, that I have met thus far really, actually wants to face or even change. In the documentary they also speak about this point quite clearly - where most people understand that to go against the systems that cause the suffering and discomfort which are the real reasons behind why we do what we do such as the use of drugs, and the obsession with entertainment, celebrities and the self image created through the media - to go against these 'causes' could cost you your comforts in Life and your health and safety. We are constantly bombarded with images of America etc bombing countries that dared go against the ultimate force - and we constantly see CNN-type images of protester beings shot, set on fure etc - and how their choice of 'standing' mostly costs them their lives - and within the quantum Mind (how the mind really functions at a quantum level) we process and decide to not 'fuck' with these system that could discriminate and hurt us if we stepped out of line. Each person just wants to actually live a nice, fun live and therefore the idea for most of giving that up to be a revolutionary or an activist, seems like... hard work and potential pain and suffering. So, why bother - it is not my generation that will see the end of this debacle we see unfolding before us.

To be continued...

Monday, July 23, 2012

Day 31: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 15

This is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-30-international-crime-research.html#


Please refer to: Day 24: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 8 for background information, on how and why I will be walking the characters of Criminals/Offenders.



To recap: the following blog is written from the perspective of familiarizing myself one and equal with the mind, character and personality of someone who watches/consumes child pornography. By walking equal to the mind of the user, I am able to draw from it, the contributing factors from the initial thought to the decision that is made to watch child pornography and how the mind is further fueled through backchat and behaviors, until in time, the characteristic is defined and directs the being into action, through an accumulation of memories, thoughts and experiences. What follows is specific self-forgiveness on the characteristics within the write-up.




Pedophile Character: Person who watches child porn as a substitute for male/female sexual companionship.




“When I reached pubescence I developed acne and no matter what creams my mother bought me, I would always have red marks and pimples on my face.”



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that who I am is a picture.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that who I am is a picture who is dependent on picture perfect skin, represented by the pictures of beautiful, clean, clear skinned people in the media and in my school and that if I do not match these pictures I am condemned to a life of shame and separation from others.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in emotional turmoil, creating physical tension within my body, which has the effect of creating physical conditions within my organs and skin which reflect my inner changes and conditions.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the skin condition of acne, to represent fear, emotional conflict and hormonal changes.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exists in fear and anxiety as a young person, as I am made to change myself into a representation of who and what I should be to fit into what my parents want, what society expects from me and how I should adapt my thinking to fit into society’s systems of being and self-acceptance.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing mind consciousness systems to exist within me based on conflict and fear, wherein as soon as I am faced with emotional turmoil, another system kicks in and creates physical condition which systematically reflect the mind consciousness designs of who I am in my physical, emotional and mental processes’ thus indicating that the preprogrammed designs all come together to further exacerbates conflict as one is constantly bombarded with designs that challenge one further and further into submission, into the Mind.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the design manifestation of metaphysics, in which inner turmoil was linked to physically manifested conditions such as acne, and that in time these response systems within the physical became a point of profit as we spiritualized these systems and made alternate therapies out of them, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that through alternate therapies turning these systems into profit, we were not only giving permission to these systems, but were designing ways of maintaining the being’s ‘balance’ within these systems, thus as therapists and doctors condemning people further into the mind as systems -as we encouraged people to live according to the rules of the systems.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a self-definition of who I am as Life, based on the experiences and reactions I get from others, which I internalize into a design of character, as I try and become who society wants me to be, even if society rejects certain parts of me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge people who have disabilities, conditions or illnesses’, using this as a scapegoat means through which we as individuals can feel better about who we are by bullying others and condemning them to exist in shame and ridicule, so that a state of perfection may be maintained – through which all of humanity constantly believe they are not good enough in mind and body and will do whatever it takes to seek some form of perfection.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing society to create this polarity game between perfection and imperfection, creating the perfect illusion from which capitalism can be designed, as the human will buy anything to try and perfect themselves.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge capitalism for benefiting and profiting from this polarity game of perfection, when it is me as the individual whom participates daily in thoughts around self-acceptance – based around how I perceive my self-worth to be dependent on how others see me, which is based on picture presentations of oneself.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience depression, guilt and uselessness as I experience shame when the other people see my acne and I allow myself to think ‘they must think I am gross’ or ‘oh no they see my skin, what do they think of me’.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize, see and understand at that stage that each thought that I allowed in response to how people were around me, was me designing the point of abuse around the acne point, as I participated in being the victim, playing the role of what I perceived others were thinking and then becoming the physical behaviors of low-self esteem/withdrawel/quietness/awkwardness.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condemn myself into the role of depression, sadness, separation from others, as I allowed myself to use thinking to generate the experience for myself into which I allowed myself to become less of myself, based on how I believed I now should punish me from my physical appearance – thus contributing and designing abuse as it exists today.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow the thought ‘oh no they see my skin what do they think of me’, into further backchat of ‘I am not good enough’ or ‘I am ugly and useless’ and then allowing myself to physical become withdrawn and to generate the physical energetic experience of depression/sadness, until manifesting the character of ‘the outcast’, ‘the unwanted one’, ‘the guy/girl who is unpopular’.



I commit myself to show that the inner experience can be changed – so that we no longer accept and allow turmoil and self-abuse to exist.



I commit myself to show that Capitalism profits from the inner experience and could and would not exist if the human was not obsessed with thinking and with living as pictures.



I commit myself to show that thinking is how one creates an experience of yourself, therefore to stop the design of a character, we stop it in the creation phase by identifying the thoughts that takes one into the character and to identify how one manifested the thoughts in its design phase as memory -to identify who self was in the memory when one allowed the first thought.



I commit myself to show how all of what exists today, exists due to how the human thought it into creation, therefore to identify how and why abuse exists we must look into how the human thinks abusive tendencies and practices into existence.



I commit myself to show that no devil or demons are responsible for the evil that exists today – and that if one walks the time line of a character (human) you will always find the creation points of the character until the manifestation and creation of the abuse point.









Sunday, June 17, 2012

Day 14: International Crime Research - Bi-Polar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 7


This is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-13-international-crime-research-bi.html#


Self-Forgiveness part 5


Bipolar Disorder and Substance Abuse


Please refer to: Day9: International Crime research - Bi-Polar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 2 for background information on Substance Abuse as primary cause for Violent Behavior in people diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use alcohol and drugs as a means of suppressing my mind.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use drugs and alcohol as a means of encouragement – through which I allow myself to express those parts of myself that are usually suppressed and hidden.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse substances due to my fear of taking self responsibility for this world that I have created, and for the consequences of the action that I have taken due to my inability to act responsibility within common sense self expression.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse substance in an effort to improve my status within society, by appearing to be something other than my usual self, whom I have come to either despise, fear of judge and which I have to hide in the presence of my peers, thus presenting a separate me to please society, family and friends.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse substances, through which I separate myself into two separate beings, the one that comes out while using the substance as the personality I judge as the fun or adventurous one, instead of realizing the contradiction and the schizophrenic nature of my thinking, where most in society willingly participate in this splitting of themselves – while refusing to admit that is indicative of schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this splitting of my mind into multiple personalities and as society accepting and supporting this splitting of the mind into various personalities through the use of substances.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be embarrassed or regretful of my personalities when I am sober.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to have a new life and therefore using substances to give myself an experience within my mind, so that for a few hours I can forget about my life and ‘feel’ like I have a different life or set of rules according to which I function.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge experiences according to good/ bad and valuable/less valuable, through which I create an acceptance of trying to avoid certain experiences in life, causing me through backchat to desire different life experiences, which encourages and creates a society of substance dependent junkies.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that what we are actually doing in society is to allow ourselves and each other to become addicted to the use of substances, while refusing to realize in self honesty that we are in actuality hiding from our true selves as the mind, while proclaiming to be more than what we are.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing religion and culture to condone substance use through images of wine and the blood of Christ – to consensually as society together agree to the abuse of substance as a n agreeable method of avoiding this reality and creating image of god realities in our minds where we think we are the greatest thing to ever walk this earth.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage children to use substances to further their delusions of what it means to be human, by attaching images like sex. Fame, richness and coolness to the use of substances through the media, while pretending and claiming that I have no say in how children are influenced.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the media to brainwash me into using substance, due to the use of images and symbols linked to substance use such as coolness, sex, influence, power, money, good times, happiness – instead of realizing that this indicates my existence as a chemically induced robot – stuck in my mind of fake realities.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing substance abuse to be an acceptable form of socializing, in which I will frown upon anybody who suggests socializing without substance use and victimize the person through peer pressure until they succumb to the same mind illusions I have around socializing and substance use.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use substances, to avoid my life and to avoid this reality, instead of changing this reality to what is best for all so that I do not have to continue abusing the physical and myself through substance use.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing substance use to exist in a reality where we give permission to immense abuse and suffering, while the majority are using substances to avoid the reality we have all give permission to.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘act out’ while using a substance and then after I have hurt another I claim that it was the substance that did it and not me – not realizing and taking responsibility for the fact that it was me and that all the substance did was allow me to express that part of me that is usually hidden.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be trapped within my mind, within patterns and behavior such as depression, elated moods and irritability, for which I then use substance to suppress or heighten the experiences – which are already in separation from myself.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use substance as a justification for wanting to have more fun in life, not realizing that in doing this I am subject to a substance to provide me with self-direction – while at the same time allowing me to lie about how I really experience this world – which in effect allows me to abuse the reality I reject even more, while avoiding the consequences through substance use.









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