Day 10: International Crime Research – Bipolar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 3

This is a continuation from:

http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-9-international-crime-research-bi.html

Self-Forgiveness Part 2: Bipolar Disorder and ‘Expansiveness’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing situations in which I doubted my ability to expand within myself due to fear and conflict.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear and doubt my ability to step beyond my fears and pre-programming from my childhood, because I feared making mistakes and having to face my reactions towards the judgments I believed others had of me – which were actually my judgments of myself – projected onto others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop a fear of expanding within vocabulary, the ability to work with information and a natural ability to work with my physical body, other people and my environment, because I accepted judgment towards myself, through how the schooling system teaches us to judge ourselves.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid any form of self-development or expansion within self because I developed a low self-esteem, based on my fathers depression – and through his depression believed that I was inadequate as a child.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the schooling and parenting system to program me into an insecure child who became afraid of expanding myself, and therefore accepted and labeled myself as stupid, unequal and unable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the concept and the lie of schooling as a system of self punishment and self reward through which I developed a personality of inferiority and fear and hope – from which I developed myself into adulthood, looking for approval from others and hoping that somehow I will be able to experience change without realizing I had to change myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop secret backchat ideas and thoughts about expansion and for looking for ways to expand myself so that I could be special.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to come to believe that in spirituality I will be able to expand myself and find a reason for others to appreciate me, after which I will be able to appreciate myself – creating a cycle of Bipolar Disorder in which I swung from the polarity of happiness, elation and expansion based on how people viewed what I did, to sadness and irritability if I did not meet the criteria of schools, friends, partners and society.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop moods and states of being around which I could experience expansion, such as spirituality in which I ‘felt’ like I was transcending and ascending into higher states of being and into a higher state of me – based around the idea that there is more to me than just me here as a physical being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that we are all supposed to expand into something more, be it through money, sex, beauty, achievements or status, until others respect me after which I can respect myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop Bipolar Disorder in which I manifest myself as the mood of expansiveness, to impress others and to be able to make money in the system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this ‘beingness’ as a way of surviving in the system, instead of realizing that the respect and achievement I was attempting to attain through my perception of the view of others was fake, because everybody was doing the same thing – seeking respect from others to respect and accept ourselves. In doing this – I realized that nothing we do within expansion is real or valid, because nobody is really expanding into anything worth living, because our main focus is on survival and to feel respected, which is an energetic experience based on what you believe others are feeling about you.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this experience of expansion to exist only in relation to my survival in the system, as a woman towards males, within sexuality to appease the male and within the context of competition with other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and generate Bipolar Disorder within myself – as I programmed myself over many years into the behavior of expanding myself in relation to money and competition and survival, and feeling bad and depressed if I could not fulfill this role – thus not meeting up with my standard and value I had come to believe I should be in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Bipolar reactions such as expansiveness, as how I lived my life, fighting for my self-definition and for my survival in the system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the human existence to have become Bipolar in which we have become programs that activate in the presence of certain words, people and environments – where we go into expansiveness in relation to survival and fear of loss – in which we do not live, but simply live as a programmable reaction to our world based on fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Bipolar Disorder to become the future of our children, in which I have set the example of allowing expansion to be systematized based on survival of ourselves as the mind based on competition and greed and to defend our fear of not surviving in the money system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Bipolar Disorder as expansiveness to exist within the system, in how each human is forced to pretend to want to expand themselves – simply to have to make money – where nobody lives or enjoys what they do, because the system requires specific skills development based on profit.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing children to be programmed into expansion, based on how the parents want them to be based on competition with other families.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing expansion to exist to appease the ego of the individual and therefore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing situations where I have encouraged people to prove themselves to me, prove what abilities they have and ‘who they are’ according to ‘what they do’ within the system, before I will trust them, trust what they do or accept who they are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to force others to act within Bipolar Disorder, to act out expansiveness and elated mood according to what I like and dislike – perpetuating the cycle within them and myself based on wanting to be accepted by others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Bipolar Disorder to exist in how I have accepted and allowed the existence of ‘likes and dislikes’ to exist – and through this forcing myself and others to adapt our moods to become elated and joyous to please ourselves and others and the idea we have of what looks good and what is ‘pleasant behavior.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the development of Bipolar Disorder, due to how I hide some behaviors and personality characteristics and ‘bring to the fore’ other states of being as personality designs  - where moment to moment I believe I be acceptable to others, depending on the situation I am in – therefore adapting and switching my moods to be acceptable – therefore going into polarity opposites and therefore programming my minds to ‘switch from one mind state to the other’ – thus creating Bipolar Disorders – that eventually become an automated response – which later in life ran automatically in the background of my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this automated cycle of Bipolar Disorder to have become so automatic by the age of 28 that I was stuck in Depression because my Mind was moving so fast in the cycles of ‘elated mood, expansiveness, irritability and hyperactivity (Bipolar Disorder)– that eventually by the age of 28 my Mind ‘froze’ in a perpetual phase of depression because I no longer found anything exiting to elate my mood and to make me feel ‘expansive’. Therefore by the age of 28 my mind had closed the cycles in on itself and only extreme experiences of elated mood or expansion could excite me. This was where I looked for more meaningful spiritual experiences, greater sex and developed an idea of belongingness in the form of finding a life partner and having children (the perfect life).

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this automated Mind System to become the directive principle of me where it adjusted itself according to my memories and likes and dislikes unit eventually I found myself in conflict between polarities as my mind used my behaviors and patterns to generate energy for the mind – while I struggled to find peace within myself while I realize that my mind was directing me, while I became simply existed in the body being directed by the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this polarity program to exist for my entire life, eventually pushing me into fast moving cycles of Bipolar Disorder, because I was no longer able to live a month or one week without crashing from happy elated moods to depressed or anxious/sad moods.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Bipolar Disorder to exist in how I have accepted and allowed the existence of ‘likes and dislikes’ to exist – and through this forcing myself and others to adapt moods to become ‘expansive’ – and through this proving myself as a good person who works hard and shows an interest in what I am doing or within my job, to ensure my survival within the money system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the justification of ‘lazy people deserve to be poor because they don’t ‘expand themselves within the system’ – not realizing that I am justifying the system of Capitalism, which forces people into abusive work situations at minimum wages, year after year – no questions asked – simply to feed the pockets of the rich.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that expansion is applicable to survival in the system, while disregarding our ability to expand from this point within which we exist as humanity where we serve only our self interest as greed, while disregarding the world we have created.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the idea of spiritual expansion, in which no common sense expansion is considered to find practical ways to sort out this mess, but instead to expand into the energy of the mind, where we hide from this reality to not have to face what we have created, but instead to have the easy way out by expanding further into the reality of the mind as consciousness – further and further into separation from the REAL reality which we exist in as the Physical Reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the idea of expansion as knowledge and information and to use this as an excuse to remain in my mind and not to expand myself into practical common sense self movement – to sort out this reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing expansion to exist as the idea of philosophy, in which we will think and think and think, while the world around us shows us we are not expanding but merely existing in self interest and greed, while projecting and blaming others for the problem – while we as the equal inhabitants of the planet participate in and give permission to the abuse that exists, because we are the one benefiting from the Capitalistic System everyday.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the ideas of expansiveness to be the justification and excuse used for why we can abuse others and the planet, while abuses the resources and withhold the resources from others, to expand our own self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing expansiveness to exist as it does above, from generation to generation, eventually systematizing expansion into what it is now as a mind system within which I exist. This mind system is then called Bipolar Disorder when it manifest in a clinically measurable way – after an individual is found to not be able to function in accordance with the system any longer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Bipolar Disorder to be something we analyze and categorize in Science and Psychology, only once a being is unable to participate in Society effectively (within the context of ‘expansion’ mentioned above) after which such an individual is judged as ‘potentially harmful to themselves and others’ and unable to live effective lives – which basically means such a person is not living out expansion effectively within the context of support the system as humanity.

(The above self-forgiveness statement contains a classification of ‘abnormal behavior’- Sue, Sue and Sue, 2010).

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the labeling of Bipolar Disorder only once a being is no longer supporting themselves as the role they play within the system, in support of humanity as a ‘expansive system’ – instead of scientists identifying how all humans already exist as Bipolar Disorder and not truly living – because life has become about the system of survival. (In this I have realized that humans are products of our memories and programming from childhood – and adapting according to the requirements for us to Survive in the system and as the Mind. Therefore as humans – no one has actually had any real experience, because all are simply exiting as self-regulating and adaptive mind systems based on memories, experiences and pre-programming – from our DNA and parental and societal programming. Therefore to understand how we have ever made decisions – we need to follow the time lines of moments to see how decisions were made and what moments, memories and events influences our decision making.)

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that within the current economic system – ‘expansion’ is only truly possible if you have money – in which case one can buy yourself all your requirements to make it look like you are ‘expanding in material good and wealth’ or to have all your basic needs such as food and shelter covered so that one may focus on the spiritual and philosophical expansion of the mind.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that if I do not make it possible for other beings to live fully and to meet their basic needs of food and a place to live, then how is it possible for others to experience any expansion at all, because by forcing people to live in fear of survival – we are limiting the human existence to the limitation we have come to accept now according to having or not having pieces of paper called Money –

Therefore

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that no expansion is possible for me or humanity as a so called ‘expansive’ human, if all are not able to expand and if I through my greed and inability to take all life into consideration force others into situations of ‘not having’ simply by forcing them into economic brackets where I withhold pieces of paper from them, thus withholding resources from them to have their basic requirements met, therefore limiting any change in this world currently of ‘expanding’ in any way.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by withholding resources from others, which limits beings in expanding from situations of survival into having a dignified life equal to myself, I am in fact not expanding as a being but devolving into a ‘de-evolution’ or ‘backwardness’, I have created for myself with no way of expanding into anything more than what I am if I do not change what I am doing to others as myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have equated expansiveness to the value of things that you can buy with money – therefore it is not me that is expanding but a temporary experience that I have thanks to the paper I can give for that experience – and in a moment if I justify withholding that same money as ability to have access to resources from another – than I am admitting that my expansion does not truly exist, but merely exists as an energetic experience in which I am used - by the Elite to participate in capitalism so that they can be truly rich – while fooling me through spirituality, the idea of an afterlife and the media that I am ‘expanding’ myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be brainwashed into religion, culture and spirituality – in which I participate in the belief of an afterlife – where I ‘think’ I will expand into another state of being – without questioning who and where this information came from – who has investigated this information and why I should ignore the direct reality I am creating, while following this unverified belief of myself within an afterlife.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing Bipolar Disorder to exist in all Culture, Spirituality and Religion – where by the action of participating in your mind reality where you are expanded into a higher state of ‘beingness’ – we are in fact proving that humans already exist as Bipolar Disorder – through which we attempt to run away from our physical reality by creating fake realities in which we can compare how expansive we are in this fake unseen realities, which only the believer can verify through the pretty pictures in his/her mind as the illusion that is shared by others who have similar make-believe realties/pictures in their mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself over the generations since the beginning of Mankind to develop and imprint the Disorder of ‘Bipolar’ into the Mind – which surfaces in some humans as more severe conditions which leaves them unable to function effectively, while existing in all humans in varying degrees, while we who are still able to function – program the next generation as our children to become Bipolar either in its subtle functional form within the acceptance of how the system works, or the more severe forms where the person is rejected from the functioning of society – where the person is classified ‘Bipolar’ and submitted to therapies and drugs – to ‘balance’ the symptoms – until the person is better able to continue functioning within accepted, manageable levels within our societal Bipolar Systems.

Abnormal Behavior: Sue D, Sue DW, Sue S (2012). Understanding Abnormal Behavior. Boston. Wadsworth.

Day 9: International Crime research - Bi-Polar Disorder and Violent Crimes Part 2

This is a continuation from: Bipolar Disorder and Violent Crime - New Evidence FromPopulation-Based Longitudinal Studies and Systematic Review Part 1

According to the Psychology Prescribed Text Book: “Understanding Abnormal Behavior” (Sue, Sue and Sue, 2010) “Bipolar Disorder is characterized by Mania, a condition characterized by elevated mood, expansiveness or irritability, often resulting in hyperactivity. It is usually accompanies by depression. Depression and Mania, the two extremes of mood or affect, can be considered the opposite ends of a continuum that extends from deep sadness to wild elation.”

(Two forms of Bipolar Disorder have been classified: Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2.)

The following Excerpts are taken from the article: International Crime research - Bi-Polar Disorder and Violent Crimes.

(http://archpsyc.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?volume=67&issue=9&page=931)

Definition of terminology:

Comorbidity: “In psychiatry, psychology and mental health counseling comorbidity refers to the presence of more than one diagnosis occurring in an individual at the same time.” (Wikipedia.org. 2012)




“ Objectives of the Study: To determine the risk of violent crime in bipolar disorder and to contextualize the findings with a systematic review.


Design: Longitudinal investigations using general population and unaffected sibling control individuals.


Setting : Population-based registers of hospital discharge diagnoses, sociodemographic information, and violent crime in Sweden from January 1, 1973, through December 31, 2004.


Participants: Individuals with 2 or more discharge diagnoses of bipolar disorder (n = 3743), general population controls (n = 37 429), and unaffected full siblings of individuals with bipolar disorder (n = 4059).


Main Outcome Measure: Violent crime (actions resulting in convictions for homicide, assault, robbery, arson, any sexual offense, illegal threats, or intimidation).


Results from Study 1: During follow-up, 314 individuals with bipolar disorder (8.4%) committed violent crime compared with 1312 general population controls (3.5%). The risk was mostly confined to patients with substance abuse comorbidity. The risk increase was minimal in patients without substance abuse comorbidity, which was further attenuated when unaffected full siblings of individuals with bipolar disorder were used as controls.


Results from Study 2: A longitudinal study of 3743 individuals with bipolar disorder has 2 main findings. First, there was an increased risk for violent crime among individuals with bipolar disorder. Most of the excess violent crime was associated with substance abuse comorbidity.


Second, there was an increased risk for violent crime among the unaffected siblings of individuals with bipolar disorder. This finding further weakens the relationship between bipolar disorder per se and violent crime and highlights the contribution of genetic or early environmental factors in families with bipolar disorder.


Bipolar disease severity (measured by the presence of psychotic symptoms) or diagnostic subgroups (manic vs depressive episode) were not associated with a violent crime risk increase in our study. Instead, the association between bipolar disorder and violent crime seemed to be largely mediated by substance abuse comorbidity.


Common familial etiology for bipolar disorder, violent criminality, and substance abuse.


Available data suggest a common familial etiology for bipolar disorder, violent criminality, and substance abuse. First, we found that the risk of violent crime in individuals with bipolar disorder was confined to those with comorbid substance use, and among those with substance abuse comorbidity, the risk was reduced from 6.4 relative to that of general population controls to 2.8 in comparison to sibling controls, indicating that familial effects are important for the association between violent crime and bipolar disorder among individuals with substance abuse. Second, comorbidity between bipolar I disorder and substance misuse is high (60% in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication), and in our data familial effects confounded the association between bipolar disorder and substance abuse (unaffected siblings had twice the rate of substance abuse [4.0%] compared with that of general population controls [1.9%]). Third, related work from Sweden demonstrated a 5-fold increased risk of violent crime in individuals with substance abuse; hence, substance abuse seems to be a likely explanation for increased violence in the unaffected siblings. The finding of shared familial etiology for bipolar disorder, violent criminality, and substance abuse is consistent with at least 2 likely explanations for the increased risk of violence among some patients with bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder (with a predominantly genetic cause) may lead to substance abuse, which in turn increases the risk for violent crime.


Two implications follow from the role of comorbidity in mediating violence among individuals with bipolar disorder. First, detection is important, and current practice guidelines highlight the fact that comorbidity may be overlooked. Second, substance abuse treatment for individuals with bipolar disorder is likely to reduce the risk for violence and other adverse outcomes (including suicide). More trial evidence is required.


A recent expert consensus statement identified a single trial, that of psychoeducation, for the treatment of comorbidity in patients with bipolar disorder. Other recommendations include the involvement of an addiction psychiatrist and the potential value of dual-diagnosis treatment programs.


What evidence-based recommendations for assessment of risk for violent crime should be made for patients with bipolar disorder, given our findings? Since the risk estimate for bipolar disorder with substance abuse comorbidity is similar to that for substance abuse alone (reported to increase the risk of violence between 6- and 7-fold in a recent review), we suggest that detailed assessment is appropriate for all individuals with substance abuse, irrespective of bipolar diagnosis.


Rates of violent crime and their resolution are similar across western Europe, and assault rates are comparable between Sweden and the United States, suggesting the potential generalizability of our findings. In addition, alcohol sales per capita in Sweden are similar to those in the United States, although comparative information on illegal drug use is limited. Furthermore, Sweden is similar to the United States in terms of an internationally recognized proxy for psychiatric morbidity, namely, age-adjusted disability-adjusted life-years.”



To Summarize – what was found to be the common denominators within the research, was that family dynamics/influence and the use of alcohol and drugs was primarily responsible for Violent Behavior in people diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder as well as for the unaffected siblings of individuals with bipolar disorder.

Self-Forgiveness Part 1:



Bipolar Disorder and Elated Mood

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a condition such as Bipolar disorder to exist.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the Mind to manifest into ‘conditions’, in which I have allowed myself to program and manifest the functioning of the mind into dysfunction, because of a lack of self responsibility within my actions, thoughts and words.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the mind to develop and exist as various conditions and dysfunctions because from the beginning I have not taken self responsibility for the mind and have allowed myself to copy the dysfunctions I see in others and have accepted the mind as it exist within others as my parents, siblings and fellow humans – as normal.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the mind to become dysfunctional, because I took for granted how the mind simply functions as a program which adapts to what I allow within myself and what I allow myself to become as all the dimensions of the mind – into which I have separated myself into from the physical - as a mind system.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself and others, because I developed conditions of the mind such as Bipolar disorder in which I abdicated responsibility into the mind, based on my starting point of not being self responsible and for not honoring life as myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the mind to exist in dimensions and for allowing the dimension of mania to exist in which I allow myself to become a different personality.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of Mania within me, through which I in moments of irresponsibility would act out in my own self interest not worrying about how my actions affect others, simply so that I may experience an elated mood, which is the addiction to the energy of elated mood, without realizing that I was not acting in awareness of all as myself but simply generating energy through the interaction with my environment, to please me as my mind.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a child to get caught up in moments in ‘elated mood’ where I would observe adults and other children pushing their levels of energy due to external stimulus and copying this behavior until I myself became addicted to the desire for this elated mood energy, at the expense of other people and beings on this planet.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for ways to generate this elated mood energy, regardless of who or what the cause of my elation was and regardless of the outflow and consequences in the world of me allowing others to become my slaves for energy.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate only in those aspects of life, where I could participate within myself in energy, completing disregarding the abuse that happens at the opposite end of the polarity of ‘elated mood’, because I was to busy trying to become elated.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the design of the polarity system – ‘elated mood’ which has the polarity opposite of ‘sadness/depression’, which is where I would end up experiencing myself if I could not get my energy fix of elated mood.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design Bipolar – existent since the beginning of human existence, because I become addicted to elated moods and to find ways to avoid depressed moods, by looking for new ways to up my energy into and as elation and happiness.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of the capitalistic system, which was designed to serve my needs to experience elated moods – and over the generations I allowed the compounding effect of the searching for elation, by finding quicker and easier ways to buy my elation by participating with more greed and self-interest in capitalistic system.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of the development and compounding of capitalism to serve my needs of elation, whereby I pushed the development of products faster and cheaper for me to have my outcome as elated mood. Within this I did not see and realize, even though it was right there in front of my eyes –that for capitalism to serve my needs of wanting elation faster and for cheaper, more products had to be produced faster for less, which means that more slaves had to work for longer hours with minimal income under stressful life changing situations, to serve my consumerist needs.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the destruction of this planet and the beings who live here with me, as capitalism and myself eventually started disregarding and abusing all resources and beings out of the drive for greed and my drive for elation.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing capitalism to now only exist for human mood elation and in this I gave permission to the abuse of all life, in the name of greed – not realizing that the justification used by capitalists that there exist a ‘market for products’, simply exists because from the beginning I wanted my experience of elation faster and with more intensity, with no regard for the planet and for others and using my own justification of happiness/elation to motivate myself and others so support capitalism and how it is being allowed to destroy and abuse life.


Commitment statements will be placed at the end of the section on Bipolar Disorder.



Part 2: Bipolar Disorder and Expansiveness






Sources:




1. Sue D, Sue DW, Sue S (2010). Understanding Abnormal Behavior. Boston: Wadsworth.



2. (http://archpsyc.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?volume=67&issue=9&page=931)

Day 8: International Crime Research - Bi-Polar Disorders and Violent Crimes Part 1

Bipolar Disorder and Violent Crime - New Evidence From Population-Based Longitudinal Studies and Systematic Review Part 1

The context and outcome of this study was to identify whether there was in fact a relationship between Bi-Polar disorders and violent crimes. The information I have taken from the website: ‘jamanetwork.com’, which present an article about a longitudinal study based on proving the validity of violent crimes linked to Bi-Polar Disorder.

Please note that I am not disputing or validating the research findings or opinions of the author(s), researchers or website developers. I am taking the research presented on Crime related topics and using it as a platform from which to support myself through self-forgiveness, to stop the patterns existent within myself, through which myself and humanity have given permission to and designed ‘Crime’ as it exists today. I will also indicate within my self-forgiveness statements the connection between how we as humanity have stopped honoring life and have allowed the existing system and the existence of crime as an outflow of the abuse of life and the fear of survival (money). 

I am busy with my third year Psychology with a minor in Criminology. I served 5 years as a reservist in the South African Police Force and therefore have always had an interest in the dynamic of Crime and Crime prevention. My interest in Life to is find solutions to the problems that we face in this world, by looking at the ways in which we as humanity have separated ourselves from life and how we value Abuse of Self and others over Life. You might ask yourself the question how it is that ‘we’ do this, as all of us simply ‘go about’ our lives on a  day to day basis. In each Blog I will show the relationships between who we have become within ourselves and how we through our accepted self-designs (including our pre-programming) contribute to the design of our reality. What we have come to accept as ourselves and our world is that of Survival as the Mind - which is our Fear, Ego, Likes/Dislikes, Personality Traits, Feeling and Emotion Reaction Traits such as rage, anxiety, the desire for acceptance, desire to be loved, jealousy, comparison, hatred, annoyance, possessiveness, intolerance, greed and the list of human experiences go on.

From a practical Perspective I am always highlighting that within Self which does not support Self, within the context of what is best for all. Therefore as you will notice, Crime by its ‘Design’ is showing us those parts of ourselves that are not supportive of Life. Crime is showing us where we are Abusing ourselves and Life, through accepting ourselves as that which crime represents and shows us - the rage, the hatred, the jealousy, the desire for control etc. Crime as I have realized does not just happen ‘out there’ to other people - crime is a mirror for all of us as it originates from all human experience and exist as an outflow of our experiences we have all allowed to become the director of ourselves.

As an example you will notice that I will be taking on each aspect of how crime develops and brining it back to Self - because each person who commits crime, is doing so from a starting point which originates in the same starting point that you or I would use when we are faced with situations where we are forced to survive as Monetary Survival or Survival of me as My Mind as ‘My Personality’. As you will notice what is happening in this world is a complete disregard for one another, because everybody is to busy fighting for Survival - both as The Mind and for Money. The two points are interlinked because Capitalism uses ‘The Mind’ of the individual as you will see it in its fullest glory all over the news and social media, as ‘My Self-Interest’, to impulse people to participate in Consumerism and the advancements of Capitalism. As the Human we want to defend ‘my Mind’ and therefore participate willingly in capitalism and accepts all the Abuse in the world that goes with it, because Money buys us what we believe in our minds is necessary for us to ‘feel happy’ and to expand on our joy and happiness and fulfillment as it is experienced through the mind, based on the preferences of ‘My personality’. Money also allows us to avoid conflict and Fear by allowing us to buy a life style and to associate with people who allow us to separate ourselves from the horrors that other people have to experience. 

I suggest watch the Documentary ‘The Trap’, which explains the development of Self-Interest at the rise and benefit of Capitalism, and how the human has always been pre-programmable under the guise of ‘Choice’ and ‘Individuality’, to the point where no matter what Abuse is allowed in the name of Capitalism, we will justify the Abuse because The Happiness of Self is everything and Survival is all we ‘know’.

Therefore - to summarize you will see that I will be applying Self Forgiveness for accepting the specific crime for existing in the first place because I have participated, firstly in creating a world where people are driven to having to commit crimes due to Economic reasons. Secondly I will be looking at how I Designed the personality of that particular Crime by looking at myself within the Context of that Design. So for example looking at the Character within the Context of the Blog about ‘Bi-Polar disorder’ and whether it contributes to violent crimes’ (in my next blog). I will be placing myself one and equal to ‘Bi-Polar disorder’ and exploring who I am within this Design. I will therefore be looking at for example, the allowance of Bi-Polar as a pre-programmed design of the mind (more on this later). I will be looking at what Bi-Polar represents as a Mind-Construct or Design and applying self forgiveness accordingly. I will also be looking at how as society I have rejected or blamed or projected onto those with Bi-Polar disorder my anguish, anger or fear about ‘Violent Crimes’, instead of directing Bi-Polar Disorder as the Disorder of Human Nature within myself first - to stop the cycles we are in as humanity as ‘Bi-Polar Disorder’ and what it represents about the human mind. So for each Crime Personality Design, I will be looking at how this Design exists within me and Humanity - and how I have allowed it, feared it and come to accept it as a normal part of ‘being human’. This way - as you will notice I am firstly standing Equal and One to this Design as myself so that I may stop the Design as myself. This by implication means that I am taking Self-Responsibility for each Design, so that in every breath in my life from this moment forward I am no longer participating in that ‘Crime personality’ and ALL the FACETS of it - as it would exist within me. This I will demonstrate within the Self Forgiveness Statements. 

Where solutions to the Crime or Criminological Research has been presented within the text I quote, I will also be walking through the Self-Forgiveness, where I see that the Researchers are not taking into consideration the responsibility of Humanity or Solutions that abdicate responsibility into a modality that separates us as humanity from the problem. Therefore I look at how to find the real solutions to the problems. An  example would be - which you can practice looking at for yourself is to not at face value simply ‘beLIEve what the scientist say is the solution. They are also trapped in our existing Money System - therefore if people commit crimes due to economic reasons - the Scientists will never present the solution as being ‘change the economic problems by changing the money system that forces people into crime’, instead they will propose solutions for the person to ‘adjust and align themselves to becoming more functional - within this existing money system. By encouraging one person to ‘go find a job’ or to ‘find ‘honest’ ways of ‘making money’ you are simply shifting the point as there are always billions of people without an income and billions of ways in which people are exploited within the current capitalist system, simply for the purpose of profit. The Capitalistic System for example by its’ ‘design’ - is designed around greed and exploitation for profit, with shortcuts, redundancy and lies being at the core of the Capitalistic Principle. Therefore the solutions presented to the research will always try and place a bandage over the problem, but the problem will continue to exist always on a  global level affecting billions of beings daily - and the problem is getting worse. Again if you observe most crime committed as an act of ‘The Mind’ of that person - Scientists will never admit that the human is not taking self responsibility for our nature, thoughts, behaviors, feelings and emotions because then, if they brought to light how we should find solutions to the ‘Mind’ experience of the human they would be out of a job .  Therefore the psychologists and Scientists will suggest therapies  and drugs that place the human in an ever dependent cycle on the system and the System of Consciousness, with no regard for placing the being in a position of effective change to stop all current cycles of human nature. Such solutions have never been presented by Scientists, Theorists, Philosophers because the human has been made dependent on and accepting of The Mind as we know it - where we have come to believe that who we are now is all we are and change is impossible or to be feared  -as if losing or changing this destructive part of ourselves will mean the end of us. Stopping what we have become, will not mean the end - it will mean the birthing of Life for all here in our Physical Bodies into lives worth living, where we will no longer be birthing children into this world to repeat the sins of the fathers. 

Finding the self corrective solution within all of this, is why I am walking this blog, to assist and support myself as the World as specifically ‘Crime-Designs’ - to no longer accept and allow myself as ‘Crime-Designs’ and to direct myself through these Mind experiences, to stand clear, within self responsibility, and self direction - to create a future for humanity that truly functions within what is best for all.

Part 2 continues with a look at Bipolar Disorder and Violent Crime - New Evidence From Population-Based Longitudinal Studies and Systematic Review

Day 7: South African Crime Research - The Voice of the Victim

The Victim Impact statement

The Victim Impact statement is used within South African law, as a written document by a victim, whom is the person who suffered personal harm (physical, psychological, social and financial) as a direct result of an offense (The South African Law Commission 2002:68). 

A victim impact statement differs from the general victim testimony in court, as it allows the victim to ‘personalize the crime’ and to ‘express their anguish, pain and devastation caused to them, so that the consequences of the crime may be understood by all involved in the law proceedings.

A criminologist compiles the victim impact statement to contribute towards a ‘more balanced view’ between the various components such as the seriousness of the offense, the physical harm, psychological harm, evidence provided, testimonies. Therefore the purpose of the victim impact statement is for those involved in the law proceedings to get a glimpse into the actual experience of the victim, as a means of grasping the seriousness of the crime on the life of a victim. (Criminology and Security Science 2012: 77 – 85) 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of crime within my world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing no real solutions to be found for the existence of crime and to instead have to manipulate the jurors and judges through emotions and feelings to find it within them to relate to the victim and punish the perpetrator, without any clear understanding of how and why crime exists.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of victim impact statements, instead of getting to the direct cause of why people commit crimes and to address the issue directly, equally for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the use of inner conflict within beings to fuel the current situation within the world based on anger and fear towards each other.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stand firstly for the end of all crime, by ending all crimes against life, as that which I have already manifested as the world systems, which by definition abuses and separates and forces people into abusive lives, which then has the outflow and consequence of further abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing ignorance to exist within me as an idea and opinion that bad people commit crime and should be punished.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the real evil that exists in this world are those who stand by and enjoy the fruits of the abuse that is done towards the humans, animals and planet earth whom are in positions and whom have no say and have no choice but to survive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the capitalistic system, on which we have built this deceitful acceptance of abusing beings on this planet for the profit and greed of a minority while the rest of us as the elite who benefit from capitalist, sit back and pretend ignorance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing money to be the driving force behind everything I do on this planet, as the driving force of me as survival.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing money to be my life and that which motivates me, instead of me being motivated to live life and to see life equally being lived by all, with no fear and hatred and greed being the driving force of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing greed to exist in this world and to use that as an excuse for why we can force billions of beings into survival daily where most do not have sufficient needs met, forcing many into survival based abusive practices to feed themselves and their families.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the period of waiting to see what happens, where the end result is people having to write out emotional letters placing themselves as further victims within the system, instead of priority being given to the welfare of each.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore the effect that our current world system has on the beings that inhabit this planet, and instead of acting to solve the problems, to postpone the inevitable, waiting generation after generation for suffering to compound until it is too late.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the victim, the one that waits for somebody else to change my world, to change me and to stand up for the life within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the victim, because growing up I believed I was nothing and that some god or man would come and take care of me, through which I abdicated my self-responsibility and my self-will – to stand before the system dependent and without a voice, accepting life without question.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the perpetrator – the one that wants to take from others, without considering and applying myself here within practical self-responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of the perpetrator within me, the hiding and sulking and blaming others for the decisions I have made in my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become the judge and jury who judge others for their actions, without considering my part in this reality and that which I have directly and tacitly agreed to by accepting out current reality as it is.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the perpetrator – the one that wants to take from others, without considering and applying myself here within practical self-responsibility.

I commit myself within equality to stop the abuse that I allow in my world in the name of greed and self-interest.

I commit myself through writing to reveal that within my world, within myself which does not serve life on this planet.

I commit myself to reveal to myself the practices and ideologies that are based on lies and deception.

I commit myself to stop emotionally feeding off the suffering of others in the name of self-entertainment.

I commit myself to re-write myself as the living word into a being that can be trusted and who will stand for all life, and to serve life as what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop the crimes against life that I have come to accept as myself – where I live in a world where starvation and abuse is acceptable because we make money from it.

I commit myself to find ways to stop any and all forms of abuse and to not ‘beat around the bush’ about why crime exist, but to directly see and communicate the lies we have come to accept as our society, for all to see and hear.

I commit myself to stop the genocide of life, before it is too late and there is nothing left of us but our ugly nasty entity minds that devour and consume everything round us.

I commit myself to stop participating in the rotten child syndrome, through which we feed of the spoils of the earth, watching countless beings suffer and crying for mercy once it is too late.

I commit myself to see, hear and understand what it is that I am required to do to bring about a dignified life for all.

I commit myself to not accept the existence of crime as normal and to not accept any justification for abuse and crime, as no reason could possibly exist for us to abuse each other, this planet and nature.

I commit myself to stop participating in the energy reactions of listing to someone’s crime story in which I allow my curiosity to have reactions direct me to maintain my world of abuse and torture where I will deliberately turn a blind eye to what is happening in my world because it stimulates my mind.

I commit myself to bring about a world system that is best for all, so that all may have their basics needs met and have equal opportunity to love and express here in dignity and in full expression of life as the physical.

I commit myself to bring about a new economic system that will benefit all who live on this planet and to transform my old ways of living and being as the crime against life into something new – which will be the living manifestation of what is best for all.

Day 6: Drunk and Horny

Last night after I wrote my previous blog: ‘Day 5 Radical changes made to Rape Laws’ – I had an interesting dream.  I dreamed about a guy I use to know when I was a police reservist. He was married and his wife was pregnant, but he was into messing around with other woman. At quite a few police parties he tried to wangle his way into my pants. After one such evening, where we had a braai (barbeque) at the police station, he got very drunk and attempted the whole evening to get me to go off to some dark corner and have sex with him. I was somewhat intrigued by all the attention he was giving me as he was a very ‘attractive guy’ with a ‘well-built body’. So I played hard to get because I was still a virgin and very shy when it came to guys and also had made the decision that I would not do anything with him because he was married. 

This particular evening the 2 of us were catching a lift with a lady who was off being intimate with someone in a dark corner. It was cold, the party was over and now we were ready to go home. The two of us decided to sit and wait in the car for our lift. After a few minutes he again starts rambling on about how he wants to have sex with me and leans over (we are both sitting in the backseat) to try and kiss me. I stop him and I pull away, realizing that this situation was not to be encouraged and firmly explained to him, again that I was not interested in doing anything with him. 

He drunkly mumbles something else, leans forward and locks the two front doors. Watching him, I cannot quite grasp what it is that he is doing, until he locks his back door and leans across me to lock my door. My brain tells me that something is wrong, but at the same time I try and make light of what I am witnessing and explain it away as ‘he’s probably just playing with me’. He turns and pounces on me, pulling on my shirt with his mouth on mine. I squirm underneath him, realizing due to his intensity that he was being very serious. I struggled with him and found it difficult to say anything as his mouth was kissing mine so hard that he was pushing my head against the seat. He was attempting to undo the buttons on my shirt and alternated between my shirt and my jean buttons.  I am very glad actually that he was so drunk, because I was able eventually to push him off me and yell at him to ‘STOP!’ He sat back in his seat and I sat in mine frozen in disbelief. He stopped any further attempts and I think it was partly due to his inebriation, that he was unable to complete this idea he had to ‘have sex with me’.  After a few more minutes our driver arrives and we go home.

That evening and for a few days afterwards I was in shock. I felt disgusted and uncomfortable within my own sexuality. I was starting to blame and judge myself for having allowed it to ‘go that far’ simply because I allowed him in the past to flirt with me. Being a young woman, I was flattered by the attempts of this man; it made me feel wanted and special. After this event I judged myself for what I had allowed.

It was interesting that I had this dream after I wrote about rape and after applying self-forgiveness for myself from the perspective of accepting and allowing rape in this world.  Therefore I will now expand on the self-forgiveness done in my previous blog with regards to my fear of rape:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for the experience I had when I was a young woman where a man attempted to force himself on me sexually.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear saying the word rape and for judging myself by saying I am ‘using such a strong word’ in an attempt to downplay what the man did.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be strong and say to myself stop making more out of it than what it was.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to now and back then protect the man’s ego, by saying to myself ‘it was just one moment, it was not such a big thing’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to protect my ego by saying to myself ‘don’t speak about it, you’ll just embarrass yourself’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being raped.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the consequences of flirting with a man.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for the actions of another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my sexuality, based on the actions of another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to hide away from scenes and stories of rape, because I allow myself to react to the act.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react sexually to images of rape and of woman being overwhelmed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse sexuality by allowing myself and others to play sexual games and encourage sexual dishonesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take my actions and allowanced for granted and for not taking self-responsibility for what I allowed within myself and within what I was encouraging in another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have judged myself for not knowing what I was doing and not being aware of the possible consequences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and my sexuality based on not understanding what I was doing and therefore separating myself from my physical body and my sexuality, through fear and judgment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a polarity within myself based on the desire for a sexual experience and when I have the sexual encounter I program it as disgusting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design sexuality within my mind based on desire and disgust and living this our in repeating patterns.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be programmed by my parents into believing that sex has to happen at certain times, with a certain man, within certain circumstances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design secret mind desires in relation to sex based on the fantasies of rape, dominance and to be desired.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire sex and then go into the polarity experience of disgust at self due to past experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing past experiences to determine my experiences now.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing societal conditions of right and wrong to be the basis from which I have programmed my own sexual behaviors, causing me to judge myself within certain experiences after which I create polarity points between which I bounce from  desire to disgust.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust myself, after what happened, because I believed that I was to blame for what nearly happened because I was flirting – therefore:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself after that event to experience desire for flirtation with men but at the same time fearing getting hurt and then not trusting myself because of the fear and inevitably placing myself in compromising positions, fueling the pattern of fear until it because a pattern of self-abuse.

I commit myself to honor myself in all decisions I make, based on self-honesty and practical common sense.

I commit myself to remove and delete all memories, based on ‘remembering what I did right or wrong – through which I keep feeding the patterns of the past.

I commit myself to developing full trust in myself, by clearing the past, clearing my mind and developing self-honesty so that I can trust every word and action.

I commit myself in removing fear from sexual exploration and to trust myself in developing an effective sexual expression, which supports me in my physical and my partner.

I commit myself to honor life, through removing any self-abuse patterns, based on guilting myself or my partner.

I commit myself to develop effective means of communication with my partner so that neither one is ever in a situation of experience discomfort or anxiety within sex.

I commit myself to stop fear and anxiety during sex, within myself by stopping any reactions, memories, thoughts, beliefs and moving myself in self-trust into an effective form of self expression.

Day 5: South African Crime Research - Radical changes made to rape laws

The University of South Africa’s Criminology and Security Sciences Study guide (2012) – refers to a new legislation that will change how rape cases are prosecuted in South Africa. Through changes to the rape laws, the following factors will help prevent secondary victimization within rape cases:

1.       The rape victim’s sexual history may no longer be taken into account, which will prevent the victim from being seen in a prejudiced light.

2.       The fact that the victim had a promiscuous sexual history does not mean that the perpetrator is entitles to rape her.

3.       An apparent lack of physical injury may no longer be used as an excuse for the offender or as a sign that the victim was not in fact injured (not fighting might have saved her life). 

4.       The fact that there was a relationship between the rapist and the victim does not excuse the rape or imply that she consented to the act.

5.       The bill also counteracts duplication and delays, since victims will not have to repeat their testimony (secondary victimization).

6.       The bill seeks to expediate the finalization of serious criminal cases, especially those of a violent nature, to punish the perpetrator of serious offenses appropriately and to prevent the secondary victimization of complainants.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing rape to exist in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing rape to exist in this world due to the value that has been given to sex and pictures.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give value to sex and masturbation to such an extent that I will sometimes be overwhelmed by the energy until it directs me into action, just like the energy of a rapist that is moved and possessed by energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the justification of ‘but sex and masturbation is nothing like raping someone’ to exist within my mind, through which I will secretly continue fantasizing over pictures and other beings, hoping to have sexual relations with them and with the people in porn movies until the entity I create possesses me and directs me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of porn movies, due to my inability to effectively express myself here in my physical body with another physical body, without requiring stimulus and the hidden meanings within my secret mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to turn sex into something disgusting based on dominance and the energy of fear, repulsion, erotica, arousal, through which I have tacitly agreed to the existence of the energy of the rapist within my mind and within society.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear sexually as the expression of myself, to such an extent that I have to turn sex into a perversion, through which I have agreed to all the countless forms of sexual abuse that is happening in the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the idea that if a woman was dressed provocatively, she deserved to be raped.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing any pictures and ideas in my mind linked to rape, which causes and has caused me to get sexually aroused.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait for governments to ‘do something about rape’ instead of me taking direct self-responsibility for rape in this world as parts of it exists within me as my mind, as pictures linked to desires.

I commit myself to stopping any and all forms of sexual abuse within myself towards myself and towards another

I commit myself to stopping the apparent need for governments to stop abuse in my world, by observing myself within who I have become to see how I am living out the designs of abuse within myself.

I commit myself to stopping sexual fantasies and secret mind desires – and to learn to effectively direct myself here in my physical body

I commit myself to self-honest self-expression within sex and to stop any form of sexual abuse within my relationship/agreement.

I commit myself to develop effective communication within myself about what I am experiencing and to direct my experiences in the breath, through self-honesty and common sense, to stop the energy entity build ups, which lead to eventual abuse in my life and this world, as what others will also come to accept as ‘sex’.

I commit myself to stop any and all forms of sexual abuse through the media and the acceptance of sexuality as it currently exists today.

I commit myself in stopping patterns of sexuality in which I exist that are not what is best for all.