Day 27: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 11

The Secret Mind of the Pedophile - continued: 

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-26-international-crime-research.html


In Day 26: Part 10, I walked Self-Forgiveness for the existence and allowance of the Secret Mind. Now I will apply Self-Forgiveness on the Thoughts, Pictures and Memories existent within the Secret and Conscious Mind – of this particular pedophile character (taken from Day 26 – Child pornography Part 10)

“It was a sudden interest in the images that developed due to a response from my body, which was then fueled by my mind through justifications as to why these images are enticing.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see an image of a naked or abused child and to connect to that a physical sensation of pleasure.



I commit myself to stop connecting relationship lines between moments and myself to use later on as characters.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the damaged files of my secret mind where I have stored images and ideas linked to sexual gratification – to now in this moment experience sexual pleasure towards a child while looking at a the images through my secret mind which connects the image to the experience of wickedness, evil, control, purity, pleasure, to overwhelm, to need, to abuse, to inflict, to destroy, innocence lost, punishment, childlike, condemned, obscurity, manipulation, blame, etc.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself once I reacted sexually to the image of a child for the first or second time – due to how my secret mind connected gratification to the act of intimacy or harm to a child – to then become addicted to the energy and release of energy – whereby I then created the character of justification – as the voice that would come up inside – as that part of me that could manipulate me through specific words – to keep doing what I was doing – and that what I was doing were ‘my private moments’ – thus infusing into me my conscious participation as the weakness I had become as I decided to harm life – all for the experience of energy as addiction and the false sense of self-empowerment.

I commit myself to show how all symbolic experiences – which are all experiences we ‘give’ value to, which in essence separate us from the physical in self expression – is merely the mind as it programs the being into future reactions based on past memories that were given specific values – usually from within the secret mind where we store the information we experienced conflict towards from childhood as we saw, realized and understood that most of what we were taught was based in deception – as our parents lied about why and how we do things – because they were busy playing out specific characters that were trying to survive. Due to the fact that we as children were not trying to survive and were more ‘physical’ meaning here, breathing, expressing – and our ‘doing’ was not veiled in surviving – we could see, realize and understand with more clarity when our parents taught us their values, beliefs and ideas. Therefore I commit myself to not allow myself to teach a child any bulshit about why we exist, where we come from and who we are – and to stick to the basic common sense of that which we are here as a physical being on this physical planet – equally born to all other life – so that the only character the child becomes is that which is best for all.

“From there I experienced a combination of initial mistrust towards my own experience, but this did not last long as the energy of shame and guilt towards my own sexual reaction, turned to a new thought which surfaced where I simply knew that I liked it.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use fear and morality, as a basis from which I turn whatever image I see into something that triggers reactions in me, which allows me to access my secret mind where I stored ideas of shame and guilt which we as children are taught by our parents and teachers as they stand as the examples of charging the mind by charging the positive polarities of good and negative polarities of bad – through the system of punishment and reward.



I commit myself to share how the education system teaches a child how to create patterns based on good/bad, right/wrong – where the patterns are fueled through polarities until the child designs themselves into a system – which cannot function unless it is being stimulated through fear, manipulation, pictures, words, hope, survival, etc – where eventually we do not live here in common sense as what is best for all – but instead live as character systems – that all have a trigger point, memories for information and a desired outcome depending on what was taught to the child the outcome should be. Most humans believe that they are following the outcome of comfort, achievement, intellect, family, acceptance, love, enlightenment, safety, god etc – but the outcome is actually dictated and designed by those who impulse human beings – which is greed, desire, comparison, ego, self interest, separation, conflict, fear, suppression, obsession, consumerism, etc – all characteristic of the perfect systems that wake up in the mornings – go participate in the money system and come home to the family where you design, create and educate the next generation of systems to serve as slaves to the world system – while all the while entertaining oneself in what we believe is individuality and human rights/freedom – but are all actions that further keep us trapped in the mind - which keeps us as unstable characters that are dependent on the world systems for our survival – where we will participate in the world systems and consumerism – as we attempt to alleviate our characters as we strive for resolution of that which we have really become.

“Somewhere from within me, from within my mind I became more and more comfortable with seeing images of naked children, having thoughts about their flesh which I would normally have about woman and then empowering my mind through further thoughts which made me feel alive with energy, as I was pulled between morality and sexual pleasure.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take self-responsibility for how I allowed myself to compound my thoughts – not realizing that I was in fact building and designing my physical response as my living self from the thoughts I participated in – as eventually my thoughts became me as the living flesh -as I gave in and followed my thoughts into action.



I commit myself to see, realize and understand the relationship between what we input into the mind and who we eventually become. I commit myself to show how the mind is not ‘something out there, harmless and ethereal’ where thoughts happen to us and at the same time have no bearing on our reality –– instead to show that all actions can be shown to follow a line of information from creation point to action.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define sex as a feeling in the body that happens in reaction to images of naked people.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe and to fuel my belief through how I have participated in sex, that sex is best experienced when a person finds ways to stimulate oneself and to become horny and then to chase a picture presentation of whatever will give one an orgasm.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to observe pornography and how this depicts sexual aggression and disrespect of the human form for profit – and from this to establish my starting point equal and one – in that woman (or men) are there to be fucked and that sex is so important that I must have it and if I don’t get it – that I will charge my mind through memories until I find material on the internet to masturbate to – not realizing that I created this character of masturbator myself, through participating in creating and fueling the value system around sex as it exists in this world currently – instead of taking self responsibility for myself within what I create in this world – of which one point is to realize that to abuse in the name of sexual gratification is not ok by me unless it is really ok by me – which again shows the character that I really exist as – as the real ‘Me’.

Day 26: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 10

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-25-international-crime-research.html



Please read the following Blog with regards to the Development of the Secret Mind 

“…the Secret MIND is Creating the Main Character that Creates this Damaged World, as the Secret Mind is Created By Damaged Memories that Converged in a Hidden Dimension as Files creating Life as We Live it as the character of this World.”

Self-Forgiveness on:

(taken from Day 25 – Child pornography Part 9)

It was a sudden interest in the images that developed due to a response from my body, which was then fueled by my mind through justifications as to why these images are enticing. From there I experienced a combination of initial mistrust towards my own experience, but this did not last long as the energy of shame and guilt towards my own sexual reaction, turned to a new thought which surfaced where I simply knew that I liked it. Somewhere from within me, from within my mind I became more and more comfortable with seeing images of naked children, having thoughts about their flesh which I would normally have about woman and then empowering my mind through further thoughts which made me feel alive with energy, as I was pulled between morality and sexual pleasure. I identified within myself – that a part of me was seeing the child’s body symbolically – as if seeing the shape of their bodies and the innocence they represented, triggered an interest within me, which was channeled by me into sexual pleasure. The other part of me concocted images and combined them with irrational thoughts, which led me time and time again after that to seek the same experience. At times especially in the beginning I would experience shame after I masturbated, however if I then for a few days would stop masturbating to child pornography and attempt to use adult porn, then I would almost feel numb during the whole experience and once I would return to the images of naked children, it felt as if my body became ablaze with sexual energy. At times I would rationalize this to myself as ‘well it is happening to me therefore it must be a natural part of myself that requires expression’ or ‘maybe it is not about the child but about how the child represents the confined placed by society on sexuality – therefore I am responding to an image which is condemned by society, through which I may experience the ultimate release.’



After a few years of using basic imagery only occasionally – only enough for me to rationalize as acceptable and not ‘out of my control’ – I started thinking about whether different images contained different experiences. I wanted to understand more and see if I could open myself up more. I found a website after a very specific search and came across a link to a website where the owner would give out links to images depending on your level of involvement with the website. Obviously as a beginner I had to start somewhere – so I decided to push ahead and after a few months I received anonymous links to images that were very different to what I was use to. As I watched these pictures I allowed myself to feel what these pictures did to me. In the end I distinguished between specific images to which I had specific experiences and from this my fascination focused itself ultimately to the acquiring of specific footage and imagery that would stimulate me. I found my mind reacting to the images with short burst – which at times were unidentifiable as the thoughts moved so fast. All that I would experience were short sentences, followed by physical sensations throughout my body, and if I kept flicking through the images, I could build the physical reactions until I would have my orgasm. Something inside of me always drove my reactions to these images and therefore the game became about knowing which pictures meant what to me as I had come to know what sensations or thoughts triggered my responses to the images…”

The Secret Mind and Damaged Files.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge my hidden memories within my secret mind – where from childhood I placed all pictures, values, judgments and ideas pertaining to myself, others and my environment.



I commit myself walk in each moment as the breath, as my physical body, only considering what would be and is best for all in each moment, therefore eventually equalizing myself as what is best for all – as I no longer have to tie loop and live out the future as the past memories where I charged moments with values based on secret desires, hopes and fears.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design a secret mind, which allows for the development of characters, within which I will live out my life as if these characters are real.



I commit myself to stop participating in the design of trying to protect myself from the future and in doing this – I also realize that for all to stop designing the future which is an attempt for all to avoid fear and death – in which we create the fear and death as we cycle through the creation of ourselves – I have to create a world where all can live free from fear, instead of fighting the mind for eternity - where we create spirituality as means to quieten the mind –while still forcing beings into life situations generating fear and mistrust.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the existence of a mind which exists in separation from the physical, as it’s purpose is to design characters for me to access, throughout my life, in which I get to avoid self responsibility by shifting dimensions into characters – so that I as ‘individual’ can seek happiness and avoid discomfort in life. 

I commit myself to learn and share how to direct myself in this physical reality and by doing so finding ways of working with the physical to sustain life here in the physical, without harming – so that we may clear the files and the systems through which we create these files, through which we created this damaged reality.



I commit myself to see, realize and understand what it would mean to walk as self responsibility – so that I no longer accept and allow mind systems and mind files to exist in hidden parts, which serves no other purpose but to create characters that contribute to the damage of life as ourselves.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design the mind as a holding place for memories – from which I design characters for myself to access throughout my life, so that I never have to walk one and equal to what is really happening in this physical reality – and where I am able at all times to avoid conflict, pain and abuse I inflict towards others or that is inflicted towards me -to rather shift into another character that exists as the memories which take me into character – to best deal with the situation I am faced with.

This character to deal with the situation I am faced with, purely exists for the survival of myself as a mind system – therefore who I have become now is not what is best for all as myself – but a memory bank of information designed to protect the mind.

I commit myself to see, realize, understand and share how we damage this reality through the hidden files that we store as memories in the mind – which consists of parts of information which have certain values – which cause us to blindly follow the information as it surfaces in moments called characteristics..



The secret mind of each is eventually created through all the Damaged Memories that Converge in a Hidden Dimension as Files creating Life as We Live it as the character of this World.



Therefore



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing damaged memories into hidden dimensions as files – through which I created me as pedophile –directed into and as the actions of abusing a child due to the energy charges I have given memories and the information and symbols they contain as the value system that each moment as picture or word is laden with.



I commit myself to defuse these energy charges through breathing and self forgiveness – until I exist as my physical body, breathing here, living – where I am actually here – and not stuck in my mind as repeating memories creating more memories trapping me further and further into dimensions of the mind.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as pedophile to place pictures from my youth into my secret mind based on the damaged moments I experiences, as I connected certain values of how I believed things should be, based on previous memories to the current moment and when my expectations were not met – the moment was damaged in that I judged the moment and placed the event into a file such as disgusting, avoid, shameful, embarrassing etc.



I commit myself to stop creating damaging moments, in which I allow abuse as myself towards myself and others which then programs the memories of those involved – until they too one day abuse as they become and accept the pattern, as they learn that apparently life is about trying to avoid pain and give oneself happiness at whatever cost – which in the current system always has a cost for another – as all are trapped in the same cycles of have/have not, with/ without – as capitalism and the principles of human greed dictates it so.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create files in my secret mind where these damaged memories were placed, simply due to the fact that all around me parents were acting out their secret mind damaged files with no self responsibility or solution on how to solve the world problems – which is everybody living our damaged files – which then becomes society as the living of damaged files.



I commit myself to stand as example to the children of speaking and living in ways that are self responsible and do not harm myself or others – where files of memories are created, in which the child grows up repeating the sins of the fathers and allowing themselves to merely exist as memories instead of here in their physical bodies – due to the example that is set.


Artwork by: Joe Kou
http://www.facebook.com/joekou

Day 25: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 9

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/this-is-continuation-from.html

Personality example of a user of Child Pornography:

Please refer to: Day 24:International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 8 for background information, on how and why I will be walking the characters of Criminals/Offenders.

To recap: the following blog is written from the perspective of familiarizing myself one and equal with the mind, character and personality of someone who watches/consumes child pornography. By walking equal to the mind of the user, I am able to draw from it, the contributing factors from the initial thought to the decision that is made to watch child pornography and how the mind is further fueled through backchat and behaviors, until in time, the characteristic is defined and directs the being into action, through an accumulation of memories, thoughts and experiences. I am not a user or producer of child pornography and do not condone or support the use thereof - by blog exists as a character evaluation - from which I apply self forgiveness, to deconstruct the design of the Child Pornography user/manufacturer. What follows is specific self-forgiveness on the characteristics within the write-up. I suggest - as you read the self-forgiveness and writings - and you have any thoughts or experiences - to add your own self-forgiveness in the comments section.

“The thought to first start watching child pornography came up as a feeling in connection to a picture of a child’s naked body. At first I experienced a tingling within my body, which moved up from my groin into my chest, arms and down my legs. I had experienced this similarly to watching other pornography, but what started happened in my mind was that I experienced the thoughts which directed me further and further into the decision to watch child pornography – thought such as ‘their flesh is so young’, ‘is this wrong?’, ‘what if I get caught watching this?’, what if my parents see what is on my computer?’ and ‘would a child respond sexually the same as a woman?’ As I had these thoughts, I experienced myself becoming more and more intrigued and the intrigue stimulated me sexually. Somewhere from within my body, from my groin and moving up my spine until my neck felt numb – came an energy which I learnt to associate with the fear of getting caught and the primal shock I experiences initially as I asked myself the above questions. From there my interest in child pornography was not based on a rational choice, I found myself drawn in though the response I had to further questions within my mind towards other images, towards the potential threat behind me watching these images and my own uneasiness sitting there being faced with an image of a naked child – causing me to want to masturbate. When I first started exploring sexuality, I did not at any point react sexually to children (as I started exploding sex, masturbation and pornography - between the ages of 15 – 22). It was a sudden interest in the images that developed due to a response from my body, which was then fueled by my mind through justifications as to why these images are enticing. From there I experienced a combination of initial mistrust towards my own experience, but this did not last long as the energy of shame and guilt towards my own sexual reaction, turned to a new thought which surfaced where I simply knew that I liked it. Somewhere from within me, from within my mind I became more and more comfortable with seeing images of naked children, having thoughts about their flesh which I would normally have about woman and then empowering my mind through further thoughts which made me feel alive with energy, as I was pulled between morality and sexual pleasure. I identified within myself – that a part of me was seeing the child’s body symbolically – as if seeing the shape of their bodies and the innocence they represented, triggered an interest within me, which was channeled by me into sexual pleasure. The other part of me concocted images and combined them with irrational thoughts, which led me time and time again after that to seek the same experience. At times especially in the beginning I would experience shame after I masturbated, however if I then for a few days would stop masturbating to child pornography and attempt to use adult porn, then I would almost feel numb during the whole experience and once I would return to the images of naked children, it felt as if my body became ablaze with sexual energy.  At times I would rationalize this to myself as ‘well it is happening to me therefore it must be a natural part of myself that requires expression’ or ‘maybe it is not about the child but about how the child represents the confined placed by society on sexuality – therefore I am responding to an image which is condemned by society, through which I may experience the ultimate release.’

After a few years of using basic imagery only occasionally – only enough for me to rationalize as acceptable and not ‘out of my control’ – I started thinking about whether different images contained different experiences. I wanted to understand more and see if I could open myself up more. I found a website after a very specific search and came across a link to a website where the owner would give out links to images depending on your level of involvement with the website. Obviously as a beginner I had to start somewhere – so I decided to push ahead and after a few months I received anonymous links to images that were very different to what I was use to. As I watched these pictures I allowed myself to feel what these pictures did to me. In the end I distinguished between specific images to which I had specific experiences and from this my fascination focused itself ultimately to the acquiring of specific footage and imagery that would stimulate me.  I found my mind reacting to the images with short burst – which at times were unidentifiable as the thoughts moved so fast. All that I would experience were short sentences, followed by physical sensations throughout my body, and if I kept flicking through the images, I could build the physical reactions until I would have my orgasm. Something inside of me always drove my reactions to these images and therefore the game became about knowing which pictures meant what to me as I had come to know what sensations or thoughts triggered my responses to the images…”

Self-Forgiveness on:

“The thought to first start watching child pornography came up as a feeling in connection to a picture of a child’s naked body. At first I experienced a tingling within my body, which moved up from my groin into my chest, arms and down my legs. I had experienced this similarly to watching other pornography, but what started happened in my mind was that I experienced the thoughts which directed me further and further into the decision to watch child pornography – thought such as ‘their flesh is so young’, ‘is this wrong?’, ‘what if I get caught watching this?’, what if my parents see what is on my computer?’ and ‘would a child respond sexually the same as a woman?’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a pleasant feeling to seeing images of naked or sexually active children.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design a tingling sensation within the physical body, which is a system design that influences the physical whereby it superimposes itself into the physical senses, back into a mind pattern which associates the sensation as pleasant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design a system, which manipulates me through unknown stimulus, to react to images of naked children or sexually active children.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design my body and my mind into a system whereby I have attached certain pictures, memories, feelings, ideas, likes/dislikes and reactions/behaviors to the images of naked or abused children.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a system out of sex, whereby I have taken all the points of stimulus from within the secret mind, and connected that through the sex system to my groin, whereby I will loose sight of the reactions I am really having from what happens in my groin to the stimulus response within my mind – not seeing, realizing and understanding that I am allowing these images to stimulate me because I have already given permission to the system design existent from my mind to my groin and through the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing thoughts such as ‘their flesh is so young’ to exist within me and to trigger chemical reactions within my body of pleasure.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed thoughts such as ‘their flesh is so young’ to permeate through my mind for the first time, after which I as the participant allowed myself to give permission to me, with regards to what I will do with this thought and how in that moment I will sit there masturbating, thus energizing the thought into existence within my mind – as it now becomes a backchat pattern that will emerge frequently as part of my sexual gratification game.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought ‘their flesh is so young’ to exist as a point of stimulus – because I had firstly created this system design based on the premise of positive feelings which I connect to words, ideas, people and images – whereby I now see, realize and understand that this system was designed by me fully conscious of how I used connection points between things to feelings – so that I may experience sexual gratification. Therefore I now realize that by – in the first place connecting ‘good feelings’ and pleasant reactions within my body as chemical responses to words, people, pictures and ideas – I am tacitly agreeing to the design of myself as for example ‘someone who watches child pornography for sexual gratification.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a pre-programmed entity – which secretly connects images, people, words and ideas to my own sexual gratification – wherein my lack of self responsibility with regards to my thoughts indicates that I am responsible for myself becoming an abuser of children – and that no god or devil did this to me – because I already designed and implemented my reactions as physical responses to words, people, images and ideas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to secretly design my own system of gratification and then blaming a god or DNA or some force beyond my control for who and what I have become as child abuser – not realizing that I in fact am able to trace my thoughts and how I created relationships between physical reactions and images, people, words or ideas.

Therefore by stating that having physical reactions to pictures in my mind – I am indicating that I exist as an entity that secretly connects lines between memories of people, words, images and ideas in my mind – and through that generate energy to fuel my addictions – therefore becoming the leech that benefits from abuse – while I hide behind ‘free will and ‘individuality.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to specifically use fear in the form of thoughts such as ‘what if I get caught watching this? – to stimulate me sexually, through the release of energy throughout my body as I am faced in that moment with the ties that bind me as my own morality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use my own morality of good/bad as a catalyst, from which I bounce in-between polarities, thus generating the flow of energy as I experience myself being pulled between right and wrong, which imprints itself into and as me as a pattern within my mind –which then becomes automated – as I play the victim to my morality – while wanting to experience gratification – thus using this character of conflicting morals – from which I allow myself to become an abuser.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the polarity of right and wrong as I was taught in schools and by my parents –to experience sexual gratification and stimulus – as I go to the negative polarity – experience the energy of shame/repulsion and then use thoughts of happiness to pull myself towards acceptance of what I am doing. In school and in the parenting/family system I was taught the system of punishment/reward – as I was taught that to get rewards you have to first do something bad/be punished. Eventually doing something bad carried an energy of excitement or disgust – which is then by the nature of the cycle of the pattern – followed by ‘doing the right thing’ within the system – which is then experienced by me as I watch the faces of those who see me ‘doing the right thing’ and I would then experience the release of energy (later becomes orgasm) as I feel the energy of ‘doing the right thing’ and being accepted/saved within the system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as child pornographer to use the face of the child who looks at me questioningly – as the face of the person who asks ‘why’ – which stimulates me into masturbating myself into the energy release as I give myself happiness – which I have equated according to the equation above as ‘the right thing’.

Therefore - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use images of children looking sad or anxious while being photographed as picture presentation during which my secret mind uses the equation I was taught as a child – in which I now am being questioned for my bad deeds, which stimulates me to masturbate as I feel the energy of being bad which I have come to accept as a pleasant energy – due to me connecting fear and failure to an energy that build up that requires releasing through ‘good things – which is what bringing my hand to genitalia does for me – as the parent and director of myself in that moment – as I remove the negative experience through the up and down rubbing of the genitalia.

I commit myself to show how using memories and points of reference such as pictures, knowledge, words and people – within the mind only exist based on the character who wants to please self by using others.

I commit myself to show how not living here in the physical, practically in self responsibility – but instead creating vast networks of relationships with images, ideas and thoughts in the mind – eventually allows one to creates characters to participate with in separation form this physical reality – which then allows us to abuse life in the physical as we merely exist in these relationships in the mind.

I commit myself to show how the relationships we exist within and towards in the mind as the characters we have created are given permission to by all in the world – while the consequences as abuse happens in the physical reality to others.

I commit myself to show how humanity and all our ‘evil’ actions were designed by ourselves through the characters we created in the mind, whereby we created relationships in the mind to people, images and ideas – fueled the relationships through energy generation as the patterns of addiction through which we participate and then collectively give permission to each others characters – so that everyone can carry on living as characters and not have to take responsibility for the harm done to and within the physical.

Day 24: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 8

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-23-international-crime-research.html


Deconstruction of the Personality/Character of the Criminal.


In the next section, I will focus my self-forgiveness on the conscious ‘thought-processes’ i.e. backchat that a person follows from the point of becoming aware of an initial reaction towards for example imagery of children and how reactions coupled with thoughts, leads the person to the act by ‘watching child pornography.


What one will observe within how the mind functions, from the moment we have an initial thought, to the point where we act on our thoughts – is that there exists a line of information consisting of thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, reactions etc. – until one gets to the final decision to act upon what one believes to be a single decision in ‘the moment’. Here one is able to look into the mind and follow the time line back from an action or thought (such as watching child pornography) to its origin and how one from the original thought participated in fueling further thoughts, pictures, feelings, emotions, memories and physical behaviors to get to the decision to the act on ones decision.


In my previous blogs I applied self-forgiveness around the scientific research and ‘facts’ around child pornography and Bipolar Disorder. Now I will write out the backchat design of the perpetrator/offender and from there apply self-forgiveness accordingly. The ‘backchat design’ which becomes the ‘character of the individual consists of all accumulated thoughts, which over time become the being as the physical movement and behavior.


The perpetrator/offender exists though as one dimension, one character within the major character of ‘child pornography’ as it exists as a ‘character’ of the world. Therefore if the world exists as it currently does as a conglomeration of ‘characters’ – called humans – then child pornography is an example of one characteristic of our current world. Therefore the Child pornographer is a ‘character’ within the world characteristic called ‘child pornography’. The child, its family, the reaction of society to the reality of child pornography, the police, the politicians, criminologists, psychologists and law enforcement – all exist as characters in the world problem of ‘child pornography’. Each ‘character’ responds in his or her way depending on the role they have come to accept themselves to be as and this is how we have all come to accept ourselves and everything that surrounds us – as characters playing in the game we call life.


Therefore my main focus is to show that all experiences in this world are based on humans playing characters determined by the script within the mind. If we stepped out of the role of character for a moment and looked at what was going on around us – we would be shocked and horrified that we have allowed ourselves to be mere characters in this play called life, instead of standing up for what is best for all.


One could ask yourself the question – why am I saying that we are merely playing characters and not standing and applying ourselves as life? Well – the fact that abuse and other crimes against life happen each and every day in the smallest and largest of forms in our families, societies, religions, politics, entertainment, capitalism, relationships, etc. – shows us that we are obviously not standing as life in the physical – because if we were life we would be and live what is best for all as life – and not sit by idly watching as life is abused on this planet.


So - that raises the question – if the human can sit by idly, continually accepting society and the world systems to function the way it does and not realize our responsibility to change the world – then where are we? We are tied into survival as the mind as characters, in which we have come to believe ourselves as real, however if one trace your life back to childhood – you will see that you have systematically been programmed by your parents, peers, educators, religion, politicians etc. into characters that are called human – but what are we really? We exist to survive according to the rules of the system, through which we split ourselves into millions of different characters to survive in society, the money system, relationships and the family system.


One can trace your life back and record second by second how our choices were always made for us, by pre set rules and those who had control and power over us. We then grow up accepting that the way the world functions is normal and we become the characters necessary to survive in the world –so that we too can become the best we can be – however the best we can be is according to the predetermined, predesigned characters – that were designed by other characters who want to control and direct for the purpose of ‘my life’ and ‘what I want’ and ‘my happiness’. So – we are all creating ourselves into better, bigger, brighter characters to outshine ourselves in a system design, created by those who have gone before us – as they designed the system within which they had to survive according to the rules set by those surviving and fighting before them…. Quite a fuck up we have created. And this character game we call ‘Life’. So - it is not just a matter of observing the criminal/offender and their 'character designs - but to alos observe ourselves as society to see who and what have we become in the face of Abuse.


In my next blog I start by looking at the different character designs of ‘producer of child pornography’ and ‘consumer/distributor of child pornographer’ –and by tracing the backchat/thought design of these perpetrators, I am allowing myself to take self responsibility for the components that come together to eventually lead to the mind of a child pornographer. By taking self responsibility for all parts of the mind of the child pornographer – I am standing One and Equal to to the design as myself, defusing it as myself within the self responsibility that I take and of course seeing where I am reacting to any thoughts and pictures that exist within the child pornographer as I walk the time line of the mind of the child pornographer.


Why do I walk the time line of the mind of the child pornographer? So that the pattern is fully revealed to me, in which no stone is left unturned as a behavior that in time if suppressed through fear or denial could mutate or project itself energetically into a ‘sexual addiction character’, due to my participation in the same thoughts, without understanding of how these addictions are designed within the mind. In walking the path of the criminal I am forgiving myself and deleting the character within myself – in whatever dimension it may exist, so that at no stage I allow these ‘characters’ that abuse life to ‘surface’ within me and become me. By doing this, we as the current generation and the bodies that will bring forth the future generations will no longer create and exist as ‘characters’ supporting abuse in this world, but to learn what it means to Life fully here in the Physical.

For more information on the Design of the 'Character':

Day 78: Stepping out of character

Day 79: Stepping out of character with LOVED ONES

Day 23: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 7

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-22-international-crime-research.html

 Research taken from: http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/ Legal Issues Raised by the Regulation of Computer Child Pornography

Along with all the truly remarkable--even lifesaving--tasks which computers perform, the development of computers and the advent of on-line communication has introduced serious challenges into every area of the law. Many questions have yet to be answered. For example, in each nation across the globe, who is legally liable for material placed on a bulletin board system, an on-line service or on the Internet" The individual who introduces the material into the system, the systems operator, the producer of the material, and/or the person who downloads it" There are further questions. In the case of pornography transmitted by computer, the origination of the image may be in a jurisdiction in one part of the world where the image is legal but it may travel to another where the image is patently illegal. Should the global network be dominated by the strictest standard or the most tolerant" Furthermore, should not consenting adults be able to engage in e-mail interactive chat sessions which describe "objectionable" materials since these same communications might not be criminalised it they were face to face, by regular post, or by telephone" The possibility of creating computer generated pornography has produced a myriad of additional legal issues that are difficult to resolve. Civil libertarians argue that if computer generated pornography involves no real child victim, laws based on protecting children would no longer apply and regulation would be an unwarranted restriction of free speech. They argue that because there is no absolute scientific data that demonstrates a causal connection between the use of child pornography and the commission of crimes against children, there is no reason to restrict its transmission on the Internet. They might also point out the difficulty of determining the "age" of a "child" depicted in a computer generated image. Child advocates voice the position that the harm of child pornography extends far beyond the individual victim. They assert that children as a whole are the victims of computer generated pornography which displays child victims as sexual objects. Many law enforcement officers argue that the harm reaches beyond the individual child when pornography is used to seduce other children. They add that neglecting to prohibit computer generated child pornography could well re-establish the commercial trade--filling bookstores with computer generated images, de-sensitising society and fuelling demand for such material. Additionally, if it becomes impossible to distinguish computer generated pornography from that which depicts an actual child, prosecution of " genuine" child pornography would become virtually impossible and child pornographers would be furnished with another avenue of defense. 

Stopping for a break on a walk in Nature - to
write our Journey to Life Blogs, with Andrea, Lindsay, Niklas,
Malin and Rozelle

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to have become so desensitized by abusive images in this world that I will allow abuse to escalate to the extent that it has – and at no point stand up as the voice to stop abuse, but instead turn the point around within my mind through backchat, where I will rationalize and excuse-away the abuse, until I can comfortably set the problem aside inside my mind. 

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify the use of child pornography as someone else’s problem, the government’s problems and the problem of ‘irresponsible parents’ whose fault it is for allowing their children to end up being abused.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify that child pornography only exists because there are people in the world who are ‘mentally deranged and sick’ - not realizing that any and all sexual addiction and the participation therein exists due to me being maladjusted in my sexual responses– and therefore if I am not self responsible within sexuality and use my mind as fantasies and secret desires to influence my sexual behavior – then I am responsible for myself as abuser.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the impact that child abuse and child pornography will have on the world, will only be subject to children who are of lower socioeconomic value than my own and therefore it does not bother me.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify that because these children were forced into these situations by the abusers and were not protected by the parents – that it serves the parents right for not protecting the children and therefore I can continue allowing child pornography as it serves as warning and punishment for those who do not protect their children.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that these children who are abused are already accustomed to abusive lifestyles and therefore within my mind I separate myself from these children and see them as less than myself and less than my children.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and believe that due to these children mostly coming from broken homes or poor homes, that these are merely ‘victims of our society’ and therefore not deserving of equal rights to be protected by the system.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing society to push these children aside through judgment and perception that it is their fault for what happened to them due to the socio economic situation they find themselves in or for their parents apparently not protecting them sufficiently – which only exists as justification and reason for society to continue participating in the Mind – as the foundation from which all abuse is designed on an individual and global level.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be spiteful towards these children by secretly believing – well some children are special and are therefore taken care of and others are not. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself through family to allow such a mind set of ‘my children are special’, through which I will justify separating my family from the rest of the world, which consequently has had the effect of each family looking on as other families/individuals are abused in the name of profit and human self interest.

 I commit myself to reveal the structure of family as the point of separating ourselves and our family members from the rest of the world and using family as the justification why my bubble is special and I only have to protect my family-bubble – and that this serves as the reason why all families accept and allow abuse t happen to other families.

 I commit myself to show how humanity has desensitized ourselves to the abusive that happens and how we refuse to accept self-responsibility as the users and abusers on this planet. I commit myself to show that Capitalism is not even the real problem – as Capitalism merely exist as the system that we as the Consumers and Capitalists give permission to on a day to day basis – therefore if children are being exploited for money it is firstly because we are not self responsible within sexual expression – and secondly that we will sit by and watch as Capitalism continues to exists to support us, while making profit from abuse to support us.

 Further Reading on Desire and Sex 

Inception of Desire

Sex as Positive Energy Addiction

Mind's Multiplication Effect

What Masters of Energy do now know

Nakedness of Forbidden Fruit

Day 22: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 6

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-21-international-crime-research.html


Research taken from: http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/


USES OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY – continued

5. Blackmail: Sexually explicit images are used to ensure the lifelong silence of the victimised child by threatening to show the pictures to parents, peers or others. Child victims will not always report pictorial records--even if they report sexual abuse--because they may be ashamed of what happened to them as well as of their participation in the pornography.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing blackmail within this world, due to human greed and self-interest – through which by the sheer nature of blackmail we accept ourselves as the abusers of others.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to blackmail people as a means of requiring money instead of taking self responsibility for myself within providing for my own means – whereby I will align myself to abuse for money instead of Self responsibility.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing blackmail, whereby I am disregarding the experienced for the other person, and only looking out for my own self-interest.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing blackmail to exist around the principle of secrets, whereby someone can blackmail me based on revealing my secrets to the world.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing secrets to exists within my world, where I act in ways that I would not reveal to others due to my actions not standing as what is best for all.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a world where blackmail has become such an extensive means of obtaining money due to us having conflicting moral within society, where we will judge certain actions as so immoral, that we have to hide these actions, even though as the high incidence of blackmail shows - we still live out these immoral actions, but as a society approve of the action of hiding or suppressing what we do.

6. A medium of exchange: Child pornography is used as a means of establishing trust and camaraderie with other pedophiles and molesters and as proof of their good intentions when establishing contact with other exploiters. It is a medium of communication with fellow exploiters in public and private sex markets.

7. Access: Some exploiters exchange pornography to gain access to other markets and to other children

8. Profit: Although most do not sell child pornography, there are some paedophiles and child molesters who sell home-made videos and photos on a one-to-one basis. Some child exploiters sell their self-produced materials to finance trips overseas to popular sex tourist destinations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have minimized the quality of life to simply exist as something that I can sell and trade for my own self-interest and greed.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing capitalism to turn everything into profitable material – and by accepting and allowing this I have admitted that I have no worth, my family has no worth and anything I do has no worth, as it all gets equated to a point of profit within capitalism.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only complain about life being equal to profit – if it affects myself or my family, where I will cry and moan, but if I see it happening all around me to billions of beings each day, I turn by back and pretend I did not notice or pretend that it is not me that is responsible as I am the one that profits from living in this system that uses life for money.




THE CONNECTION BETWEEN CHILD PORNOGRAPHY AND CHILD SEX ABUSE CRIMES

Some social scientists interpret the research to indicate that the use of child pornography is a precursor to other sex crimes and that child pornography is fuel to feed the obsession of paedophilia; Child Pornography and Sexual Exploitation: European Forum for Child Welfare Position Statement, 3 (Nov. 1993) [hereafter EFCW Position Statement] (citing studies that support this thesis). others conclude that it is a safety valve that prevents such crimes.




I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the justification of allowing child pornographers to use child pornography as a safety valve – where I say that at least by only looking at pictures the abusers are not actually abusing real children – not understanding, realizing and comprehending the type of world I am creating where I mask these abusive intention with clever words and justifications, to protect my right to abuse.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the excuse of ‘at least they are only masturbating to pictures of children’ as an excuse to justify the reason why I can masturbate to picture of people, creating a world where we mask our inner behaviors with reasons and excuses – without properly investigating mathematically how abuse unfolds from the abuse we allow within.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing child pornography to continue existing on the Internet, even though research indicates that child pornography exists in most cases as a prelude to the actual act.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate the actions on the internet from reality – not realizing that the actions on the internet reveal what people are really doing inside and out – and is not merely just a make believe world.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give permission to the internet as a secret reality that is apparently only 3d- where I allow others their secret fantasies as long as they allow me my secret fantasies – where the internet has grow to such an extent that anything and everything is allowed under the guise of ‘its only a virtual reality and not real.’


I commit myself to show how the human has allowed itself to separate its actions into realities that are always justified as acceptable by society due to it existing in a bubble called religion, internet, culture, family, relationship, sport, entertainment, individuality, free-will – and to show that these bubbles are how we protect the deception that we clearly see and understand – however never want to take responsibility for equal and one to its existence.


Further Reading:

Success and Reward

The Visible and Invisible

Day 53: Slavery Exploiting Sex, Life and Labor in the Consumerism Concentration Camp

Day 21: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 5

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-20-international-crime-research.html


Research taken from: http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/


USES OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY - continued

“3. To lower a child's inhibitions: Child abusers use pictures of other children having sex to assist in the seduction of a child and encourage reluctant children to freely participate. Images are often used as a way to show a child what the offender wants the child victim to do. Pornography may be used under the guise of "sex education" to create sexual arousal in the child.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lower the inhibitions of the person who I am sexually attracted to through manipulative words, behavior and the use of alcohol.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to trick someone into having sex with me, which by implication shows that I am not effective in communication and that I have created a world where people are so judgmental of each other, that we need to trick and persuade according to status and money to get some one to have sex with us.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to turn myself into a picture representing pornographic images, which I believe will please the person whom I want to have sex with.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to the pictures existent within the media and pornography, through which I evaluate my self-worth as I allow the value system of society based on beauty vs. ugly to become the value of me.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to change my behavior around the opposite sex, to change the picture of me, so that the person will evaluate what they see through mathematic equations relating to value systems within their minds based on fantasies.


I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that each time when I am shopping for clothes etc – that I compare myself within the clothing to that of a beautiful, attractive woman – I am in fact separating myself from myself into a picture loaded with sexual value.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place value into the image and behavioral patterns of celebrities, placing value in what they wear, not because I really care about the material or the shape of clothing – as we have seen fashions deliberately becoming sillier and sillier – but instead their success as pictures are equated to worth which is equated to money – therefore:


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to also want to feel self worth by experiencing the worth of money I have equated within the clothing worn by celebrities.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the education system to exists as schools where children are forced into categories based on popularity and status, through which they compound sexual energy towards each other, and by doing so – prepare the way for themselves to become sex systems, dependent on pictures and societal status to achieve arousal and to engage in sexual activity towards the perception they have of each other.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the education system, therefore to not educate children on the value of the physical and how to live and breathe practically in your physical body – but instead turns a blind eye to the dynamics that play out in the schooling systems based on comparison, ego, sex, judgment, achievement – where the school become the educators and perpetrators of the human ego – which goes out into the world prepared by knowledge and information on how to best abuse life on this planet.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as parent to use the way children participate in sex to further perpetuate sexual abuse in this world – where I will stand by and watch as my secret sexual desires actually play out right in front of me as my children become addicted to pornography and sexual abuse towards each other –while doing nothing about it because I believe this form of ‘evolution’ or ‘growth of the child to be natural – when in fact there is nothing natural about becoming dysfunctional and watching as the future generations become even more dysfunctional as they copy and modify the already abusive tendencies existent within dysfunctional humans.

4. Preservation of the child's youth: Child pornography ensures that there will always be an image of the child at the age of sexual preference.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing sexual preferences to have become the reason and purpose for why people can cheat, lie and deceive.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cheat, lie and deceive people to have sex with me based on my sexual references which I have designed in my mind through years of watching pornography – which by its design does not align with how the physical really functions during sex and is purely based on the secret mind which derives energy from stimulating the mind through pain, punishment, power, submission - everything which is abusive towards self – and therefore creates energetic reactions within the being as we react sexually towards that which is ‘wrong’.


Therefore;

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to equate the value of the physical simply to a tool that can function in how I energetically charge symbols and images in my mind to get as much sexual energy from my interaction with another as possible. Therefore other people become purely symbols to give me my sexual rush, while I lie, cheat and deceive with special words and gestured to lure the partner that I really want – based on these ‘sexual preferences’.


I commit myself to reveal to all – how charged simple, societally accepted words are like ‘sexual preferences’, ‘likes’, ‘dislikes – and how we have energetically charged what we see each day – to fulfill the secret mind sexual fantasies – where sex is no more than seeking the greatest rush and not about physical interaction based on physical self expression.


I commit myself to no longer allow energetically charged words, pictures and situations within my world, to create an environment where everything is based on practical common sense to support Life here Equally, instead of the systematized, hidden world of energy addiction, through which we have willingly allowed all forms of abuse to be justified due to our addiction to energy.

Day 20: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 4

This is a continuation from:  http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-19-international-crime-research.html


Research taken from: http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/


USES OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY

“Experts cite several reasons why individuals collect child pornography. U.S. Senate Report, supra note 7, at 10-12.
1. Arousal and gratification: Individuals use pornography to stimulate their sexual drive and to aid in sexual stimulation. Some may only fantasize and others may use it as a prelude to actual sexual activity with minors.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use images of people, things or animals to stimulate myself sexually


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use images of people, things or animals to stimulate myself sexually, without realizing and understanding that in doing so I am creating an energetic entity within myself with which I have to keep participating to experience sexual gratification, instead of establishing effective sexual relationships with myself or a partner, which is established in self trust, intimacy and mutual respect for the expression of oneself in the physical.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard the physical body, it expression and the abuse that occurs in the world to each other and the innocence of children, we if secretly believe we can participate with these energetic entities created within the mind, which knows no limit as we have proven within how the human abuses life to entertain the mind.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue justifying why I get to participating in the generation of pictures within my mind until I am addicted to masturbating to these energies that overwhelm me, while refusing to see, realize and understand that the same energies that flow through, up and within me as the energies I claim to be addicted to and have no control over and must masturbate to – or else it will drive me to distraction and the inability to function property, are the energies existent within each and every other human who watched child pornography, rape pornography, bestiality and other forms of sex abuse – that I claim to separate myself from and judge the other for.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider for a moment the responsibility we all have as equals within this mess we have created, to go and explore how the mind really functions, to develop an effective self-honest understanding that the world is not facing the extent of sexual abuse, simply because satan is making people do it – but instead it is each one of us as the human participating together within what we accept and allow within ourselves – that contribute to the permission that is given equally to the world as it is.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make such statements as ‘child pornography must stop’ while refusing to see, realize and understand that I too have a responsibility then to look at my own secret mind behaviors and to clean myself equal and one to the child abuser, until NO-ONE abuses the physical to entertain the mind as energy.


I commit myself to stand as the physical support of myself, within sexuality, to no longer accept and allow myself to follow energy as addiction, but instead to establish effective touch and intimacy within myself towards myself and/or a partner – to no longer accept and allow judgments and fears to separate me from participating with the Physical Body.

“2. Validation and justification of pedophile behaviour: The paedophile uses pornography to convince him/her self that their behaviour or obsession is not abnormal, but is shared by thousand of other sensitive, intelligent and caring people.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consider my behavior within my addiction to pictures and to energy as normal, because all humans function the same way within sexuality, due to no human being self honesty about how the mind functions within the physical and how thus far that has always been the directive principle within sex, with no regard for how we abuse in the name of these beliefs.


I forgive myself as humanity for grouping together within the lie that has become sexual expression, and together to justify each other’s addictions and misuse of the physical for the purpose of individual sexual gratification.


I commit myself to learn how to work with the physical body, as this is the key to effective self-responsible sex, which will stop sexual abuse, because by indication – effective self-honest self-expression, free from addictions – is how we stop all physical abuse.

Day 19: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 3

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-18-international-crime-research.html

Research information taken from: http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/

“In most countries, street children, poor children, juveniles from broken homes, and disabled minors are especially vulnerable to sexual exploitation and to being seduced or coerced into the production of pornographic material. These children, however, are not the only victims. Sex exploiters frequently target neighborhood children or those with whom they have contact through their vocation or avocations. Additionally, pornographic activity is a common part of life for teen prostitutes. Finally, in many countries, including developed nations, child victims may come from homes where their own parents use them to create child pornography or where their parents offer them to others for the same purpose.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exploit any person for my own sexual gratification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to view disabled people as less than and to secretly despise their appearance and to believe that they are weaker and therefore not worthy of respect and equal treatment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exploit people who come from impoverished lives, whereby I will use them within Capitalism, to do the dirty work that I do not want to do, because I believe that I am better than them because I have money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a society in which we have become to carried away with out own self interest, that we have never lived and applied ourselves within functional relationships – therefore allowing the existence of broken homes, which results in the future generations manifesting as the rotten adults that we see as the fruits of our past generations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use specific words in an attempt to coerce someone into getting sexually exited, so that they may feel the need to have sex with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow coercion in our society both as a means of manipulating people to do what we want for personal gratification, but also within consumerism – thus turning exploitation into an acceptable means of ‘motivation’ and ‘desired outcome’ within capitalism and within our personal lives – and calling it ‘power of persuasion’ – thus creating a false impression that coercion shows some form of special ability, instead of looking at the core from which it comes which is based in deception.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to force children into prostitution, simply because I have already justified the existence of adult prostitution, because I couldn’t be bothered to develop effective physical relationships based on trust and self-honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to force children into prostitution, due to my permission to the existence of capitalism, and together with my allowance of prostitution – have over the past few generations become apathetic to child pornography – as I watch all value within life be compromised for greed and self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to teach my children about greed, thus teaching them that to get what they want – they have to make a lot of money – thus teaching the child that life is equated to money and that life itself means living according to the system and its values based on ego, greed, comparison and all that exists in the mind – that today directs the human as our emotions, feelings and ideas we have of who and what we want to be and how we compete with other humans for attention and self value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to teach children that it is acceptable to value self as an image to be worshiped – thus minimizing life to a picture which always changes according to how the media impulses people to participate in consumerism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my child to learn that Life exist according to the standards of who they are through the eyes of the ego – thus teaching them that they have to do what requires to be done to validate their existence in the eyes of others and through societal value systems – which corrupt the human into believing this is what life is about. In this our children learn that to prostitute their bodies is an acceptable value system because it makes a lot of money and gives people pleasure - therefore it is respected within society.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to teach children my sexual values and the values about the human physical body as I have come to accept it – based on abuse of the physical form in the name of sexual gratification – whereby my actions, likes and dislikes are all based on backchat and judgments about the human form, based on secret mind desires. In this we teach the child to judge the physical form as something that is and should be obsessed with sex, not realizing how we are allowing ourselves to abuse the physical form into a piece of flesh that only exist to honor sexual gratification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to honor sex to such an extent that I will watch as my children now develop all sorts of patterns and behaviors around sex, which I see, realize and understand is not honoring life as the physical – but only honors the mind as secret fantasies. This is why children develop the idea that it is cool and acceptable to become prostitutes and sex workers, as this allows them to see themselves as desirable therefore valuable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be so possessed by the desire for money and to be rich that I will sell my child into sexual slavery.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be so obsessed with having money that I will find it acceptable within my mind, to use my child’s body in pornography – while obviously missing the entire point behind abuse of the child and abuse of Life on this planet – only seeing my ability to be rich as the only valid reason for my actions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sell my child into sexual slavery, because I exist in a belief that teenagers enjoy sex and are overrun by hormone – therefore using this to my advantage to exploit my children – which becomes my justification for the evil that I allow.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the viewer of child pornography to use the excuse of ‘but I paid them money for being the actors, therefore they are doing it willingly’ to continue allowing myself to be blind to what I am really doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the viewer of child pornography to use the excuse ‘but they look like they are enjoying it’ – not realizing the coercion that is involved and how these children are brainwashed by adults that use the same mentality of me around sexual possession to justify child pornography.

I commit myself to honor life and to present the solutions for the human to develop from the current mind-mess that we are in – into beings that can be trusted with Life.

I commit myself to expose the life that has become human sexuality and to show how all sexual desires currently is driven by secret backchat images, that are specifically used by the media to impulse hidden drives, to bring out the worst of the human, as we accept ourselves merely to be slaves to sexual addiction, while calling it ‘natural’.

Margarat, H. (2004, August 2). Child pornography: an international perspective. Computer Crime Research Center. Retrieved 21 June 2012 from http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/

Sex workers and Equal Money 

Shocking secrets of Masturbation –Introduction 

What is Sex – Introduction 

Day 18: International Crime Research – Child Pornography Part 2

This is a continuation from: http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-17-international-crime-research.html

Research information taken from: http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/

II. SCOPE OF THE PROBLEM

Child pornography is an international phenomenon. Most of the data that exists regarding the extent and nature of the problem has focussed on North America and Northern Europe--regions which have played a key role in the production, distribution and consumption of child pornography. "The U.S. market for child pornography is widely thought to be the most lucrative in the world." Child Pornography and Paedophilia: Report Made by the Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations, U.S. Senate, 99th Cong. 2d Sess. 34 (1986) [hereinafter U.S. Senate Report]. In developing countries, the reality of child pornography is dwarfed by the magnitude of other problems such as poverty, infant mortality, illiteracy, hunger, and disease and often there is little reliable data on the subject. Nonetheless, the pornographic exploitation of minors is a phenomenon that exists throughout the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue to support Capitalism, even though there is sufficient evidence that Capitalism functions on and profits directly from Abuse that exists in this world, and that most forms of Abuse would be eradicated or prevented if we remove the necessity for people to survive in the money system, and if we remove the principle of greed and profit.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing countries to be separated according to ‘developed’ and ‘developing’ which is a breeding ground for abuse within capitalism, as we separate countries according to these standards, where the developing countries battle for access to basic requirements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this division to exist based on profit and greed of the rich whereby we deliberately play games with lives, by holding onto this lie that countries have to develop and earn the right to have access to more resources, instead of realizing that firstly we live and are given life equally – therefore the real evil is to hold countries prisoner according to the standards of ‘development’ within Capitalism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse people based on this principle within Capitalism of Developing – in which I will standby and justify why people do not have access to food, water, shelter, medical supplies, education – simply to advance the rich countries and thus to advance myself within my economic class bracket.

1. Identifying the Victims

Girls and boys of all ages, including infants, are used to produce pornography around the world. Estimates of the number of children worldwide involved in child pornography range from thousands to hundreds of thousands. As to the gender of the victims, Federal Bureau of Investigation ("FBI") personnel estimate that over 50% of all child pornography seized in the United States depicts boys rather than girls. Canadian Customs puts that figure at 75% for Canada. The data regarding childhood sexual abuse in most countries, including the U.S. and Canada, does not reflect the same predominance of boy victims. Virtually all studies have predominance of boy victims. Virtually all studies have found higher sexual abuse rates for girls. Ann Wolbert Burgess &Christine A. Grant, Children Traumatised in Sex Rings, 4 (1988). In contrast, in Japan, it is female minors that are predominantly exploited in pornographic material.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place value on the image of woman or men as having certain sexual response points within me, based on the value I attached to ‘bodies’ from what I was taught since childhood and through media and pornography.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become so obsessed by the female or male form and the sexual erotic value that has been attached to the forms, that I have compounded desire to such an extent within my mind, that I now find rationalizations within my mind as to what stimulates me, even if it means finding the body of a child or animal attractive.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that within sexuality, the importance has been placed on the absolute sexual gratification, which we compound and intensify through fantasies and desires. Therefore I realize that within the mind, as I compound and intensify my sexual fantasies and obsession, I am in fact designing an entity within me as I insist on fueling sexual fantasies based on pictures. Therefore I realize that the mind of the pedophile exists as the compounding of sexual fantasies based on pictures and desires, and that my mind as it exist within sexual possession as the entity I have manifested through my accepted and allowed participation in backchat and giving value to pictures – is no different that the fantasies justified within the mind of the pedophile as he/she justifies how they participate in secret fantasies to achieve the ultimate sexual experience.

Therefore - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify the compounding of sexual energy within my mind until it possesses me within the physical, while not realizing that the mere fact that I admit to having uncontrollable sexual urges that overflow in me while watching porn and masturbating to pictures depicting the most vile sexual energizing pictures –indicates to me that my possession within and as sex energy is no different that that of any other sexual abuser.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that if I continue to place value within shapes, forms and pictures as what is currently done to sexuality and the female or male form – then I am equally responsible for creating a mind reality with regards to sex and sexuality – which then becomes the basis from which all humans justify their mind and how and why they are allowed to abuse the physical within their fantasies and within the physical action of doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condone sexual abuse that I find gratifying within my fantasies while judging the person who watched child porn, not realizing that the dimensions within which the mind gradually designs these obsession works exactly the same for all humans – and that for us to stop the sickness which has become sex as it is designed within and for the human mind – we all have to take self responsibility for our thoughts and the value system we give to sex and the male/female form – within our mind – to purify sexuality so that it becomes a physical expression point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire a specific male form with which to have sex, and in this judgment through which I misalign myself as the mind from the actuality of the physical form – I am within myself giving permission to the abuse that exists due to judgments of form which fuels desires to the extent of fantasies based on the secret mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed through and as the secret mind – where I hold onto all sorts of disturbing images of rape, young flesh, innocent children, animals, objects, gang rape, violation, bestiality, submission, force, power, desire – where I allow myself to masturbate to secret mind images, while judging others who do the same.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place such a value on male/female form through participating in and justifying the existence of models, beauty, youth, fashion, etc – not realizing that I am directly participating in the design of sexual abuse through that - which I support within myself – be it openly or in secret.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that to hide my sexual desires is exactly the same as living them, because by participating in the desires within my mind through the generating of energy which leads to the release as good feelings, or orgasm, has the same result in our reality – where people are now allowing themselves to no longer suppress the desires, but to live them out. Therefore I realize that the key to stopping sexual abuse such as child pornography, starts with me clearing out the clutter within my mind, whereby I use self honesty firstly to reveal to myself what it is that I am really busy doing within my mind to get that energy fix or orgasm. Then I apply self forgiveness to stop this masked energy pattern I call ‘my secret fantasies’ and no longer accept and allow this abuse of the physical form within myself, as I at the same time no longer accept and allow child pornography to be an acceptable form of income as part of the capitalistic system.

I commit myself to stop the fantasies and obsessions within my mind, as I realize the consequence it has within this world as hidden fantasies do not remain hidden, but by the nature of the mind as backchat eventually directs people one and equal into action – as we have come to believe that the mind is real.

I commit myself to develop practical physical touch and communication and mutual appreciation between myself and another, where no fantasies direct who and what I am, but instead sexual expression exists as me expressing my physical form free from judgment, in effective self movement – without abusing another for my enjoyment.

Margarat, H. (2004, August 2). Child pornography: an international perspective. Computer Crime Research Center. Retrieved 21 June 2012 from http://www.crime-research.org/articles/536/