Saturday, March 30, 2013

Day 104: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 8

This blog is a continuation from:

Day 96: International Crime Research: Drug use Part 1

Day 97: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 2

Day 99: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 3

Day 100: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 4

Day 101: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 5

Day 102: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 6

Day 103: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 7

Backchat Dimension of the drug user within Social-situations:

"Internal Conversations/Backchat/Voices in the Head:
This is where one would have conversations with oneself as a Personality in the Mind. Thus, Internal Conversations/Backchats would come up/manifest as words, sentences, short statements that can vary in length/intensity. It is within the internal conversation/backchat domain that one would start activating the reactions of emotions/feelings together with the words that one speak in one’s Mind – as, when we’ll continue walking the creation of Backchat/Internal Conversations within and as Main Characters/Personalities, one will see, realise and understand how the Mind substantiate words with ENERGY, so that there’s always an energy experience and definition to words. This is one of the primary relationships the Mind use to ensure the human being never LIVE words, and so words, their definitions and experiences becomes components the Mind use to attach to Personality Systems that define one’s behaviour, instead of self LIVING in the physical in self-aware directive-principle of who one is one’s living/behaviour in the Physical.
Thus, to identify the internal conversations/backchat of a Personality, one can within and during one’s writing have a look at what words, sentences, statements manifested in one’s Mind as the ‘voice of the Personality’ speaking to oneself, essentially talking oneself out of/convincing oneself as a Personality from/of taking responsibility for self here in/as the Physical."

The backchat dimension (in relation to the drug user) would be the internal conversations existent within an individual, whom due to such internal conversations, rather uses drugs to amplify or suppress these internal conversations - to allow the individual to participate in social situations:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the internal/backchat conversation of "I am not good enough/good looking enough/intelligent enough/special' to be part of this party/conversation - and therefore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that using a drug will support me in feeling as if I am good enough and to forget about my true experience of not thinking I am good enough in appearance or intellect to be part of this social situation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing any and all underlying thought patterns which have become my character wherein I invest time, disregarding and abusing myself within internal gossip, where I speak harsh words to myself until I believe I am 'not good enough' - simply by allowing myself to form opinions about myself based on the images I am impulsed with through media and the advertisements of the corporations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be anything more or less than what I am here as a physical-bodied-being - where I change who I am as a physical-bodied-being into a less than or more than 'beingness' based simply on the amount of energy I put into the thought pattern, until I believe myself to be this thought pattern within my mind - not realising that at death or even while sick or in a comma all thoughts stop - proving that thoughts have to be maintained through attention a participation and 'design' and always have a starting point in one observing or listening to other people or media forms- after which one accepts what you hear and then develop opinions/perspectives which then became ones automated thought patterns. This one then believes to be 'I think therefore I am' and that 'the physical is not real - consciousness is what is real' - however at any given time one is able to show/reveal that thoughts are designed after hearing the information contained within the thought, from somewhere else and accepting it as real - even though most thoughts have been proven to only serve abusive tendencies of self interest such as 'I am ugly', 'I am white therefore I am better than that black person' etc,' 'if people are poor it is because they are lazy ad dont deserve anything in life'... Thus one could ask why would we design and allow thoughts to exist if they are harmful and do not serve us as life. Most do not even question thoughts and their origin and simply take thoughts at 'face value' believing that the human mind is pure in intention and cannot be wrong - however most thoughts one can walk as a time-line to show how one accepted and created the thought - right through to the purpose and functionality of such thoughts within oneself and the world as a 'global mind'. Therefore we are able to prove that any value system we give 'being human' only exists in the mind- as what is currently shown to be 'human-thinking'. For example, all value systems that place one person/being above or below another shows how we use knowledge created in the mind based on impracticality to falsify the human existence into pockets of knowledge which only exists to support the minority that benefit from inequality and human Suffering. Question is why do we accept that the Mind and human thought processes are 'all that there is' when clearly the state of the human with most in depression and going into states of Mind possession - shows us that all is not ok with how and why we participate in 'internal conversations'.

Therefore, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive my physical existence according to the thought patterns I have designed and given permission to in my mind - which through my permission has more value in life than the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in what other think of me, therefore in 'backchat/internal conversations I am constantly bombarding myself with abusive thoughts towards myself, which I know I think about others, and therefore fear them thinking the same about me,


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing these internal conversations where I judge others and myself, instead of realising that to allow thoughts about others and ourselves, where we in essence abuse ourselves through internal gossip - does not support anybody and eventually leads to the use of a chemical to suppress the fears and judgments within the mind towards self and the judgements of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop this internal conversation about who I think I should be in social situations and therefore become so disillusioned about the reality of myself that I then use drugs to ensure that I act or appear to myself to be able to act according to the social situations I believe I should fit into.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop social values within my mind purely based on my ego, where I compete with other people in society based on accepted values such as beauty/ugly, rich/poor, appearances etc - where in my mind I am always competing with how others look, speak and behave and compare them to societal values that have been given to how one 'should look, speak, behave' - and thus this 'rate-race' of competition is always milling in my mind where I chase myself to appear and act according to acceptable norms,


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the one that perpetually feeds these cycles of abusing life, as I have given life the value of competing in the mind, based on pictures and images and superficial value systems such as money and status - not realising that I have created this system of abuse and now I am the one that has to use chemicals to suppress or enhance those aspects within me which I have separated myself from as the physical...

Reaction Dimension continues...

Life Review - A Drug-Addict as Mind-Prophet

Andrea Rossouw - The Alcohol Demon took over Africa

When Shyness meets Confidence - Life Review

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Day 103: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 7

This blog is a continuation from:

Day 102: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 6

Fear-dimension within Social-situations continued:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project my fears of social situations into a future social event, thus using a drug, to supersede any fears, reactions, doubts I may have in these stressful situations, to stand in as me as strength and confidence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear how I will look according to how I dress, my face, body and clothing and according use drugs to forget about my social fears and self judgments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear how I will sound once I start communicating in social environments, where I have already created an idea of who I want to sound like and how I should be seen as -to others, therefore knowing that I am not really that person, I now use drugs as an intermediary tool that will support me in becoming someone else, instead of realising that this other person I want to be has nothing to do with me living effectively here in this reality, but rather has to do with supporting my mind in becoming more and more involved in the layers of the ego, where projecting myself as someone else has a higher value than who and what I become as a self honesty living being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear communicating with the other sex, as I either believe I am to good or not good enough, and therefore have created a judgment of myself my mind, which I am now unable or unwilling to overcome as the layers of backchat have already consumed me to such a point - that I am now dependent on a chemical to suppress or bring forward those aspects within me which I want to strengthen or hide.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use pornography as a distraction and illusionary representation of sexuality, which by direct implication has left me unable to understand actual physical intimacy, which results in immense anxiety within me as I now have a database of illusionary, impractical, self-abusive, secret mind images - which cause me when in the presence of the opposite sex to fear sex/intimacy as my point of reference in pornography wass never real or practical.

Thought as picture dimension:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to movie starts, celebrities, etc and in doing so have already compared myself as a picture, an idea of who I wish I could be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare me as a living, breathing being to other in my mind so extensively that the real, physical me, does not in anyway compare to the picture/thought of me in my mind -which creates friction, fear and tension, as I physically react to myself and feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create this illusion of what it means to be human, thus setting the precedence for always living in constant friction and fear and never being comfortable in my own skin.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Day 102: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 6

This blog is a continuation from:

Day 101: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 5

The Fear Dimension of 'the happiness-drug-user' continued.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief to exist withon me that without the drug I am nothing, therefore,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe and fear that I am nothing within this world due to the existent belief within me that if I do not match the expectations and ideas by others and through my own ideas of what it means o be 'acceptable' then I am nothing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to conclude within my life that if I have not by a certain age obtained a certain level of social standing, such as a specific career/qualification and/or job - then I am not valid in the eys of those who's opinions I respect,


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being rejected by others and to fear the insults I perceive others are thinking 'towards me' within their minds, which is actually me thinking that about myself, which generated judgments and belies and reactions about me towards myself - which I then project onto others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being expressive in social situations, because I have already equated in my mind, that for me to accept others they have to dress a certain way, speak a certain way and have a certain life style - just like the celebrities and rich/famous/special people on tv, and therefore in my mind I judge others for not looking like the pictures in magazine and on tv shows, therefore

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have fallen in my own trap of the ultimate judgment game, where I constantly judge the human - as a picture and idea from pictures and movies, and because it is impossible to live these pictures unless you have sufficient money, I perpetually exists in inner turmoil, self hate and fear of others - because no-one around me and myself included are able to fit into and as these pictures,


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created the self loathing trap, where as the middle and lower class I am always battling with my own self judgements, because the lower and middle class society brackets are always trying to look the part of 'celebrity/beauty/fashion/specialness' even though this standard for those who are unable to afford it, always results in inner turmoil and self loathing - where the entire middle class and lower income brackets are driven into the consumerism market to constantly spend money, and create debt to try and buy ourselves into the pictures.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have accepted this fear of not looking cool or special or like my fiends and therefore even though nobody wants to talk about this shared fear or not being accepted, we all simply hold onto the pictures as our safety net of self acceptance and continue to give it value as we ignore our pain and continue to move towards the pictures and ideas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become a mere picture, an idea, a formation of organic matter directed by pictures into an energy experience, which is guided and directed through the corporations to the point where I will live in debt and comparison to try and appease my fears of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept this world as one where we have to compete and try and live ourselves as the pictures we see on tv, even though in common sense I am able to see for myself that the pictures are always photoshopped and the models are always skinny and anorexic, thus showing me that the 'representatives' of 'life' as we 'know it' are misshapen, dysfunctional, ill and a lie to drive the consumer to spending money no matter what.

to be continued...

More reading: The Encryption of Systems (Part One)

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Day 101: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 5

The Character Dimensions of 'the happiness-drug-user'


a person who uses drug like ecstasy in social environments with friends, to enhance self intimacy and intimacy with others. Allowing one, to feel more relaxed, open, sociable and to drop any fears around self-expression.

Now we will look at the character dimensions which is the real character behind why the person relies on a drug, and therefore the drug stands in as a character of comfortability, sociability and intimacy, instead of the individual becoming and living this as themselves, so by the end of the character dimensions - we will also look at why our society does not allow people to feel comfortable to expression ourselves.

First character dimension = let us look at the dimension of Fear - what the individual really fears about themselves and others, resulting in the 'need' of the use of a drug to change those aspects of self or the experience of self towards others in relation to their characters, expressions one actually fears:

In each self-forgiveness statement you will see that I have taken basic fears and expanded on the design, picture and ideas around the fears - by deconstructing the fear through self-forgiveness -

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear self expression, because as a child I was taught that certain facial expressions and physical movements are silly or stupid.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a facial expression, contains and exists as an outward expression of an internal value system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge certain behaviours as being childish, due to words used by my parents, condemning my actions as I grew up as being to childish or immature.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself when scolded by my parents for being childish, to react to the words by my parents and to then decide that I will change and act differently to not have my parents yell at me - therefore infusing this reaction into me, as a fear - which then later on becomes the reaction to my own behaviours, taking me into fear of self expression - where I will literally freeze in discomfort and self judgment as I access all old patterns, ideas and thought patterns around any form of expression feared by and through my parents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that this idea that my parents have of facial expressions and behaviours is my fear of expression as well, passed down from generation to generation, as we label certain expressions/behaviours according to age groups - which I now realise really only serves the existence of the human surviving within the system - where a certain facial expression or body behaviour is seen to either serve your survival drive for that age group or not, and if one acts outside of ones accepted age behaviours, you are judged and forced to stop - as your survival expects of you to act differently,


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach money and survival to my facial expressions and behaviours, where I will actually yell at a child/person for expressing themselves a certain way - when I know that I am really just supporting the fears and backchat of the generations before me, who accepted the human being as an organic robot that must only present itself according to acceptable ways which slot in with how one is supposed to act in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attached fears to physical behaviour, instead of allowing myself to freely express myself, free from judgments towards myself and the judgments I perceive others have of me which have become my own judgments - as I stop myself each time I am about to express myself 'incorrectly' through thoughts in my mind that tell me I am being inappropriate, immature or 'dumb'.

Fear dimension to be continued...

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Day 100: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 4

Continuing from:

Day 99: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 3

Let us look at an example or two of the character of somebody who uses and abuses drugs - allowing us to really get to know the mind-dimensions of how the average human decides to use a substance to enhance or suppress various experiences for themselves. Remember in Part 1 and 2, I spoke of the actual causes behind the 'given reasons'? Now this is what one wants to start exploring and de-constructing for oneself - when and as one decides to support oneself through any form of addiction. I spoke of for example the reasons given as being 'enlightenment, heightened consciousness, love, closeness, happiness, enjoyment, confidence, calmness etc, - however if one peel back the layers and ask the next questions - tell me more about how you experience yourself the rest of the time if you are not using a substance or tell me about your fears and anxieties and thought patterns, when you are unable to rely on a substance - then the picture starts looking differently and the 'truth' of the individuals experience will become more transparent.

So as an example I will walk the character dimensions of one type of drug user - let's say the person who takes dugs in a social environment to be able to let go and feel free to enjoy themselves amongst friends.

This revealing of the character dimensions - one is able to use for any type of addiction - of reliance - where one has placed ones trust, abilities and 'beingness' into another substance or person's power - instead of becoming self directive and learning how to live effectively within ones own body. To do this, within this world where we are constantly bombarded with images, ideas and belief systems of what it means to be human - it has become increasingly difficult to just live in our physical bodies. We grow up, for example believing that we are not just beings in a physical body - we are products of a society that requires of us to fit into specific categories - these societal categories are then linked to ones survival in the money system - for example who will marry you, what job you will get and where in society you will be allowed to live and participate - therefore we soon learn that the monetary system requires of us from an early age to dress , think, speak and act a certain way. This places tremendous pressure on the average human being, as we struggle day to day to survive not only monetarily - which requires of us to act and think in specific ways - but also according to our societal acceptance - most humans are taught that to be loved you have to be accepted - therefore to be accepted you have to think and act a certain way. So constantly the average human is squeezed into becoming characters and personalities within the larger societal systems, which will allow us to earn a living and earn a accepted postion in society. Step out of that role and for example reject the societal money or personality systems and you are seen as a bum a freak a weirdo and you might as well go live on the streets because obviously you will not just 'receive money' simply because you exist. If you reject the survival-monetary systems and how they function you will be without food and shelter. If you reject the societal ways of existing you will be rejected by others and the systems that dominate societal thinking such as your political parties, religions and culture groups will sort you out according to branding - you will be branded an outcast, weirdo or 'that woman/guy' and through group-think one is eventually excluded as people develop sufficient thoughts about you in their mind - whereby they will CONvinec themselves that you are not to be included in their space. So, for most who use drugs this is the reason why - pretending for a moment that you either feel nothing, see nothing or are able to express yourself amongst others without fear. In the case of business people for example -it will give them a new found ability to perform, which previously they actually secretly did not believe they had. For those who see themselves through the eyes of others - as just being another boring, inconsequential human being - these people will then seek our spiritual enlightenment, where together with the use of drugs - one steps into a new mind-character - where for as long as the drug supports your delusions, you are a new being - this spiritual warrior that is now stepping beyond this cruel reality into the purer spiritual realms where you are not judged but in fact loved and admired for your spiritual depth and 'wisdom'.

That is why most spiritual people - when accessing these alternate thought realities - with or without drugs - as I have done myself - will reveal or have it revealed to them - that they were so-and-so in their past lives. This is quite hilarious because I myself had a meditation session where I 'journeyed' through and into my past lives and 'saw' that I was Isis the Egyptian Godess. Do you know how many people have been Isis in their past lives? How many people have been told in spiritual groups that they are the real Jesus or Cleopatra? This all confirms largely the habitual tendencies of the human to secretly seek a better experience of ourselves, due to the feeling and experience that this life we are in now is just not special enough and just not worth it. Sounds familiar? - yes - we all at some point go into this experience of 'is this it?' -and specifically in relation to the drug user - here one is looking at the escape from this 'boring or fearful or pressurised' reality where most understand that the fake face we put on in the morning as as we leave our house to go earn a living in the system - is not who we really are. Then we subject ourselves to a substance or method of coping with our live to make it more - therefore whether one uses substances, entertainment, imagination or addictions like sex/masturbation - these are all the role play realities we as society have come to accept as the acceptable way for people to express themselves and have fun, therefore, instead of changing this reality that we all feel we have to run away from, we keep this reality as the system that sucks the life from all beings for the profit of the corporations, while the rest of us play our roles within these systems, and then avoid our real experiences by going home and finding ways to cope.

So in the next part - the exploration of the character dimensions....

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Day 99: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 3

This blog continues from:

Day 97: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 2 
The causes are those aspects of our current reality that no person, that I have met thus far really, actually wants to face or even change. In the documentary they also speak about this point quite clearly - where most people understand that to go against the systems that cause the suffering and discomfort which are the real reasons behind why we do what we do such as the use of drugs, and the obsession with entertainment, celebrities and the self image created through the media - to go against these 'causes' could cost you your comforts in Life and your health and safety. We are constantly bombarded with images of America etc bombing countries that dared go against the ultimate force - and we constantly see CNN-type images of protester beings shot, set on fure etc - and how their choice of 'standing' mostly costs them their lives - and within the quantum Mind (how the mind really functions at a quantum level) we process and decide to not 'fuck' with these system that could discriminate and hurt us if we stepped out of line. Each person just wants to actually live a nice, fun live and therefore the idea for most of giving that up to be a revolutionary or an activist, seems like... hard work and potential pain and suffering. So, why bother - it is not my generation that will see the end of this debacle we see unfolding before us.

The causes behind drug use:

As discussed in part 1 and 2, the reasons given for drug use, which have become globally acceptable, are always the acceptable sounding reasons, which leave all of humanity, either stunned in hopelessness as we watch how people use chemicals to forget about their life experiences, or a sense of awe or respect that this individual has found some freedom to express him/herself within life by using the drug to party or seek spiritual enlightenment. It has become almost a taboo topic, to question drug use, as it is now seen as a comfort zone for those who get trappled by the system we have created or an outlet, for those brave enough to insert a chemical into their bodies. It is the era of 'coolnes' to step beyond human fears and use substances to improve ones experience.

The same goes for alcohol use, governments and corporation make tons of money of the alcohol industry therefore even though alcohol is responsible for countless deaths a year, no government is willing to place a ban on alcohol as this is the prerogative of capitalists to make money - no matter what. The public consensus is that alcohol provides any person with a bit of money in the wallet with a weekend escape - a way to feel better about one's life, even though your life is not really better - so humanity - as the strange beings we have accepted ourselves to be - have all agreed that instead of sorting out our reality - so that our children dont have to gro up and become drug addicts - we rather leave things as they are, under the false hope that 'one-day' things will go better'. Shame - generation after generation humans are born into the same lives - where we all at some point or another experience emotional, physical or financial turmoil to the point where most adults are addicted to some form of substance reliance - and yet - we still cling onto the hope that miraculously somehow it will get better for us - like living in a lottery where one day things will change for me. The fact that there are billions of other 'mes' also hoping for the same thing and also therefore standing the same minuscule chance of having their lives turn around - means that the chance of 'me' really having a better live is really small. We all stare at pictures of celebrities and hope that we will one day be that person - but we wont you see - the celebrities and elites are specifically in those roles only because they are the minority which exist in positions within society where they have that one small thing no-one else has - which is the whole reason why the polarity of rich/poor exists.

Nobody wants to see this polarity system we have come to call life - and the harm that it really causes. We are constantly in internal battles fighting with ourselves and others to compete with and win the spot of celebrity and elitist - we do not see that human life on this planet - has become a race to have more money than others - with the comparison and motivation point being those who live in absolute poverty and die each day in fear and discomfort. According to the laws of Capitalism for example which has become the law of human life - to succeed and to prosper as a human, you have to gain and you have to 'better yourself' as in 'have more than others'. Even spirituality - has become an energy equivalent of the 'richness' of spirit, a race throughout ones life to be better than other souls and to appear better to ones adversaries because one has apparently obtained some higher consciousness or ability. This is all the game of money and capitalistic-energy exchange where either one has devoted ones life to obtaining more money than others - which results in the comforts one would call 'a heavenly/blissful existence' - or one then would seek out the more spiritual-energetic experience - where one claims to devote ones life, not to monetary riches, but to the riches of character and of the soul - all of it make believe concepts conjured up through Capitalists to sell products through the media to the wanting human, using feelings and emotions and ideas of happiness to lure all humans through our greatest desires. Once you have been caught on the hook of Capitalism, which if you dare to be self honesty you will see, as I have - that there are millions and millions of various types of hooks one would become enchanted with - just like the fish in the water who look through the murkiness, to identify their one pretty picture, the shape or colour of the bait that they have been programmed to respond to and in a moment the fish changes into the prey - the one that will swim towards the bait, wishing for that morsel - fearing that its live could be in danger if this is a trap - but non the less being compelled by a hunger in that moment for that specific type of bait.

The human Capitalistic drive is and has always been the same - triggering human responses through our base design of addictions to feelings, emotions and experiences that just like a drug - brings us closer to 'energy-happiness' - therefore from our youth we are taught that happiness has its price and that happiness is connected to how one lives and how you design your life within this world, while competing with others and the only way to have what others do not have, allowing one to feel happy, is to outshine other humans by buying ones 'betterness' in the form of whichever brand or item would give one the experience of happiness/status. These concepts we live by as consumers, have really become the pinacle and cornerstone of human existence - to live for and as consumers and through this to purchase our lifestyles which contains numerous items and experiences which give us pleasure and the feeling of fulfilment. Even something as simplistic as buying the next best big screen tv - more often than not has very little to do with any practical consideration about the requirement of a 'big screen tv' - it has to do with an energetic charge linked to the masturbation system of the mind - whereby after purchasing ones new exuberant item, we experience a sense or relieve and sense of completion and happiness at having this newest, 'bestest' item which others do not have - thus giving one the false experience of gratitude to life and within ones life - but who and to what are we really grateful for?

We live to survive in varying degrees - from day to day hand to mouth survival - to the survival of the fittest humans with the competing life styles - either way in itself, this 'survival' drive of the human - has also become our worst enemy one could say - and this we are seeing in the reality of how many people are really addicted to substances that allow them to suppress, forget and hide how they really experience themselves - be it the rich, the poor, the successful business man/woman, the emotional teenager or the happy spiritual types - the question is what are the causes behind why a society that proclaims to 'love life' are escalating in the use and abuse of drugs?